Should I forgive my ex?

United States
July 5, 2012 9:50pm CST
I broke up with my ex, because I ultimately discovered that she never love me, and she has been using me for while for the money sake. I felt disappointed and heartbroken. For twice on last year, I tried to avoid to see her again, but my heart just got soft, until this year, I uphold my determination and not to see her again. Although she called me several times, and wants to be friend again, and she apologized also. For several times, I want to forgive her, but at the end, I just couldn't give her a call again. A week ago, she called me while I was at work, she asked "how could I never call her back, she wonder if we can still be friend." I thought to myself there is no harm to be friends again, but I also get tired to see her, and I don't really know what is she up to. Should I give her a call, and be friend with her again?
2 people like this
20 responses
• United States
6 Jul 12
Leave it in the past and move on. When you dumped her you took some of her power away, and she is probably trying to get it back to save face. Money isn't everything in this world, and you can teach her that by keeping her out of your life,
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
6 Jul 12
agree with you, philly, she deserve to get the lesson...
• United States
6 Jul 12
Ive been in the situation myself, and I know how much you probably want to give another chance, but this person is just looking to take advantage again.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (114476)
• Boise, Idaho
6 Jul 12
I think i first responded to one of your discussions about this same subject, Philly.
• United States
6 Jul 12
There's a difference between forgiving and forgetting. IF YOU want to forgive your ex, then forgive her. But she isn't someone you can ever REALLY trust again. So forgive her if you want, but don't forget what she did to you. I personally wouldn't want someone like that in my life, as a boyfriend or a friend.
@ajithlal (14568)
• India
7 Jul 12
I also believe in forgiving, but not forgetting. I thin you should forgive to your ex, but should be careful so that the same situation never happens once again in your life.
@asliah (11149)
• Philippines
15 Oct 12
hi, actually in life we have to forgive people on what they did even really hard for us,but God can forgive and we are only people so why cant we forgive,yes you can forgive your ex but never trust her again and never fall in love with her again.just keep in your mind what she have done to you before.
@Shazooo (296)
• Malaysia
7 Jul 12
Well, as a person, it is only natural to not forgive a person for doing something bad on you. For me, my ex boyfriend chatted on me on my best friend! But i forgave him anyways...why because if i don't forgive him, I'm wrong. And when i did forgave him, i feel much better because when we don't forgive someone, theirs this feeling of hate build up inside of us. So i think you should forgive your girlfriend and just be friends with her. But of course, the choice is always yours.
@Matpunk85 (1066)
• Italy
6 Jul 12
Forgive her! How can you desire to be friend with her? I suggest you to change your mobile number and cancel her for your life. She has a stone in the place of the heart! You must absolutly forgive her!
@lady1993 (16092)
• Philippines
6 Jul 12
I think you should forgive her and forget her, or just make her as just your friend.. YOu deserve someone better, someone who will truly love you as you love her.. But you have to mend your broken heart first in order to love again..
• Philippines
6 Jul 12
For now, I think it's best if you remain a distance with her. Because you have been hurt so much and she just used you for the money. She is a bad woman. Time heals. Eventually, you both will be friends again in time.
@jizfir (93)
6 Jul 12
If forgiveness is the only thing she ask from you, then it would be a little easy I think. But if she wants to be friends with you again, then it would be different because trust plays a big role in friendship and in any other relationship. And that trust was broken already between the two of you. Also that "money" thing you said is something you should take into consideration with, because that can also be one of the reasons why she wants to be friends with you again. As for now, if you can't still forget what she did to you, and you are not so sure if you have forgiven her totally, then just make it clear to her, and give your self some time, so that when you meet again, it will be a brand new relationship but not the same as before.
@niairen01 (1018)
• Philippines
6 Jul 12
Question is... Why are you still seeing this as a problem? Are you still not over her? Or its just an issue of you can't forgive her after what she's done? You see, if you are over her you can actually can be friends. Just forget about the past and move on. While this is the case and you find out that she wants to get back to you, you can easily just brush her off saying your over her and don't want to commit yourself with her again. If she doesn't want to get back to you and just want to be friends thats realy great since you don't have any obligation to her as friend right? Now, if you still got feelings for her maybe you should ask yourself if you are ready to be just friends or if you are still capable of giving her a sevond chance.
@ryanong (9697)
• Vietnam
6 Jul 12
"but I also get tired to see her, and I don't really know what is she up to" it is your answer already...You are tired to see her then what do you expect to be friend with her. Avoiding her as far as you can, you may get more troubles with her later only. Put her phone number in blocked list and never care what she told. You got hurt 1 time already, do you want to get hurt one more time from that girl?
• Philippines
6 Jul 12
hi kp, I am the kind of person who can Forgive not easily but I can't forget As a human we should forgive those who hurt us but we must be careful of trusting them again. happy mylotting
@akash009 (453)
• India
6 Jul 12
I think you should forgive her and just be friends with her again. But this time be careful that she does not take advantage of you. You should tell her that beforehand. She should also apologise to you first. So, if she is ready to accept her mistake and wants to rectify it, then i think there is no harm in getting back together. But be careful to make sure that this time she is not faking it.
@nemrac12 (388)
• Philippines
6 Jul 12
Hello mylotter, i know how you feel for what your ex did to you. If i were in your place, i would forgive and forget her. I would not give her a call or be friend again. We don't know what's in her mind. Move on .
@chiyosan (29388)
• Philippines
6 Jul 12
oh i think she is really up to something insisting on wanting to be your friend, unless you have not really confirmed she wanted you for the money alone. The thing is maybe you think that she is only after your money, but it might not be true and that she still wants to get in touch with you because she loves you and has realized that. If she is still bugging you like this and only wants to be friends i would think there is something she is not telling you and her intentions are a bit suspicious to me. I guess what you can do is just let her know you can be friends, alright but there is no need for her to demand too much of your time.
@Shellyann36 (8566)
• United States
6 Jul 12
I say RUN as fast as you can in the opposite direction. If this woman used you in the past she is probably after the same thing again. A leopard does not change its spots! My advice is to get away from her and tell her that you don't want anything to do with her and be firm about it.
@Lucas818 (378)
6 Jul 12
Hi mate, seems like your ex is a gold digger. In my view, if she calls you just to apologize, why don't you just accept? You said you don't really knnow what she is up to, perhaps you can keep a distance with her, I mean, just "Hi" and "Bye" type, so that you don't have to purposely avoid her. Maybe you can look for a new partner and forget the past! :)
@trinale (1486)
• United States
6 Jul 12
Hi KingParker! You didn't give any details on how you discovered this woman never loved you and was only using you. Did she confess that to you? Did you just finally come to that conclusion after some time or what? Since you were in a relationship, I think the best thing for you to do now is ask her to give you some space and time to clear your head and heart. Once your head is clear, DEFINTELY forgive her and at that time decide if you want to be friends only with her or not from that point on. Cheers, Stan
@ajithlal (14568)
• India
6 Jul 12
We cannot change the past and I would suggest you to look for the future. Ask yourself what you feel is right and make the right decision. Our life is very short and forgive and forget is the best way to live happy in life. If you really think your ex has changed I would suggest you to forgive her.
@verolop29 (1096)
• United States
6 Jul 12
i say forgive her. but if u want to get back into her life again it wont be the same. i bet it was hard to leave her when u did...its going to be hard maybe even difficult because u 2 have history and u cvan never forget what she has done to u. everyone has reasons why they do the things they do and in order for u to move on, there has to be forgiveness. my heart goes out to u. im also sorry but ppl like her make me sick. how long were u with her? did u 2 have any kids? it doesn't really matter but i hope u can be strong for u.
• Indonesia
6 Jul 12
for her mistake in the past, I'm not even sure she can be a good friend for you. She's being with for money, there is possibility that she wants to be your friend for money sake again.If you want to forgive her and be her friend, you have to be carefull