who will you choose??

Philippines
July 6, 2012 11:39pm CST
i have a boyfriend for almost 8 years... its a long distance relationship but we able to kept our relationship stronger and happier until i met this stranger.. my boyfriend is really opposite about all my preferences for my ideal boyfriend but i was able to love and accept him for all he was.his really in love with me and his doing his best to provide all i wanted,he even sacrifice a lot of things for me.. while this new guy is almost perfect.. he made me felt those strange feelings that i never ever felt from my boyfriend before.. like butterflies on my stomach.. intense mixture of feeling of nervousness, excitement, happiness, worries and many more.. i think im in love with him.. were dating secretly for almost 8 months but just dating no intimate touching. he doesn't know that i have a boyfriend back at home and his asking me to be his girlfriend... im confuse... i think im not inlove with my boyfriend anymore but this guilt is killing me and i can't throw the 8 years just like that and im scared that what if i choose the wrong guy. im scared of losing one of them i know im selfish.. but what should i do? for your own opinion or if your in my situation what will you do? and who will you choose?
1 person likes this
8 responses
@aerous (13474)
• Philippines
9 Jul 12
You need to handle the situation fairly, my friend. Try not to convince that the guy did not love you to avoid being the cheater with your boyfriend. That guy might not love you but want only you.
• Philippines
9 Jul 12
which guy? please be specific..I'm confuse... I'm not convincing myself that one of them did not love me... I didn't mean to be a cheater is just that new guy became my friend unexpectedly we hang out alot with other friends. Its not my intention to fall and same for him... I was just expecting a nice friendship but things happened in the wrong way.. beside I'm not a total cheater by the way because I'm not yet committed with the other one I just realized that I also loved him but I didn't take his proposal to be his gf and we didn't do anything wrong like kissing or what so ever were treating each other as a good friends not a lover.. I'm just confuse about my feelings.. If who will I choose or should I follow my heart or stay in a relationship were I'm totally out.
@aerous (13474)
• Philippines
10 Jul 12
You must be sure that person you said will love you as you feel falling in love with him. If you don't control yourself and suddenly fall in love with that guy it maybe a big problem in the future. Because your not sure if the guy will love as your boyfriend love you...
@sjvg1976 (18386)
• Delhi, India
8 Jul 12
Hello Joice, It is difficult situation you are in.It is strange that being in a relation for 8 years you are still ready to break it for someone else. What will happen if anyone else come in your life will you still break with this second one in that case.But this is your life and its you only who can decide and should decide with whom you want to stay and with whom to break but that's for sure it hurts when we break such a long relationship.
• Philippines
8 Jul 12
yeah its difficult sjvg but you cant teach your heart.. its a crime . I think its also difficult to stay in a relationship while your heart belongs to someone else. well its not because I break up with him then I will also do the same thing to the second one.. I'm thinking what if his the right guy for me an I'll be happier with him.. Its hard to throw up the 8 years but the question is.. will I be happy If I stay? But still I was also thinking what if things will happen in opposite that if I follow my heart then I will realize that I was wrong and I will be forever hunted with my past.. grrr still trying to balance everything and thinking of the consequences of my what so ever decision.
• India
8 Jul 12
I say you are in serious situation right now.Its time to take an accurate and correct decision.You are saying you are in love with a guy for 8 years. And now you met a stranger and you are again in love with him from 8 months. I think you missed one element here. Did you really loved the previous guy then why did you compromised with him. You should have waited.Anyway it happened .. So in this situation I suggest you to follow your heart and don't get influenced by others opinions and theories. If you feel You are in love really with that stranger guy and you think he is good person then go ahead and speak with your boyfriend about your feelings and try to convince him. Never hide anything from them if you want a serious relationship. Trust is the foundation stone for any relation . So I say follow your heart and go in the path it shows to you,.
• Philippines
8 Jul 12
yeah I know its wrong. I really tried to stop my self from falling inlove with that other guy.. I was just expecting for a nice friendship but as we go along and know each other I end up falling in love with him... but thnx by the way for now I think I'll just have to figure out what do I really feel and make sure of it so that I will not be disappointed at the end.. thnx again
@jasmeena (850)
• Indonesia
7 Jul 12
8 years of relationship?but is it 8 years of LDR?Ask your heart: are you sure with your LDR now?how is the progress?I can understand your guilty feeling.. You had better stay with your LDR as long as you both are committed to making it work well and have committment. If you love each other, i think distance is no longer problem. My sister and her hubby is a success story of LDR. they have known each other since they were kids, started to date when they were in junior high, had LDR when they were in senior high (my sis was in Jakarta, he was in the US). there were some ups and downs, breaks-up but they got married in 1998 and had a son in 1999. They are happy together, so far and of course, in marriage, there are lots of problems. But they always find solution to that.
• Philippines
7 Jul 12
yes 8 years.. we started as friends for more then 2 years then courtship for almost 1 year and committed with him for 8 years...yeah that would be 8 years this month ... so I've known him for about 11 years. never experience a break up.. his my first love and only bf for now.
@kenshin2143 (1882)
• Philippines
7 Jul 12
Like any other people would say. You will not look for another if you are already contented with what you have. If I will base my opinion on that particular quote. You should then be choosing that particular stranger. Anyhow, you should still consider that 8 years of relationship. You should ask for divine intervention and guidance in order for you to really choose the best.
• Philippines
7 Jul 12
you have a point.. but should i continue this kind of relationship even though my feelings for my bf has already fade away? I'm worried what if im not in love with him anymore and all i ever felt for him is just pity. im still confuse.. but thnx by the way.
@anex08 (868)
• Philippines
7 Jul 12
According to sayings: if you can describe why you love a certain guy, then you are not in love at all, this feeling is just an infatuation.. but if you cannot describe why you have fallen in-love for a certain person with no reason at all, on why on the most opposite treats you have still fallen for him; then, that's the real love... choose the best....
• Philippines
7 Jul 12
yeah i was also thinking bout that .. maybe its just an infatuation.... thnx
• Canada
7 Jul 12
That is really a sticky situation! You have to go with what is in your heart... Your boyfriend of 8 years, are you two ever going to be together? Long distance relationships cannot last forever... Because what happens when one of you want kids or to get married? As for the man you call a stranger, you should be honest with him... Starting a relationship out with secrets is not good either! What would happen if he found out? Would he except it? Or leave you? You need to ask yourself afew important questions... What do you want? And where do you see yourself in the next 5 years? Or what do you want to acomplish in the next 5 years?
• Philippines
7 Jul 12
my boyfriend and I seeing each other twice or trice a month for 8 years but we have a strong communication. his 29 and im 24. when im still 21 he wanted to get married and have a child on our own but he sacrificed his feelings for my dreams. we never had a breakup before but now its started to get rocky... i know its my fault so i decided to make things right.i decided to avoid the new guy for almost a month then i ask my boyfriend to give me some space to think about something about my feelings and future plan but he disagree so i decided to stay with him for more than a week , but every day, every hour every min and every sec i was thinking bout the other guy.some of my friends advice me bout to try this kind of mind over matter but it doesn't work. the more i try my best to avoid him the more i wanted to see him.. im so guilty so i tried to talk to my boyfriend bout my situation but i started my sentence with WHAT IF... so that i will be able to know what will happened if i tell him the truth. when i ask his opinion he stared at me with a doubt in his eyes and said YOUR MINE... and i wont allow it... its either i kill my self or i kill that guy... wew i got scared... i don't know what to do now
• Philippines
8 Jul 12
Quite a difficult situation you have there, but in the end it is only you and you alone who can decide on who you will choose. Think really really carefully, are you going to waste your 8 year relationship to a guy who you only dated for 8 months but then you said you said your in love with this new guy. If you know who to choose, just let go of the other slowly, you don't know how painful when someone suddenly let go of you Good luck