Are People Too Honest?

@erikmama (12934)
United States
July 7, 2012 12:07am CST
Honesty is always the best policy but do you think it is possible for someone to be honest?' I am sure that you know someone who is "too honest." You Ask if the dress looks good on you, they say no. Will you make it out of your situation? They asnwer no. They never seem to offer any encouragement or hope, just brutally honest answers. So what do you think? Is honesty the best policy or should everyone offer a dose of "what you want to hear"? Are you brutally honest? Dop you tell the truth no matter what someone will think og the anwers? Are there times when you shouldn't be honest or adjust your answer for someone? Your thoughts please.
3 people like this
18 responses
@lifes97 (885)
• United Arab Emirates
7 Jul 12
hi, there, i guesses you are got a point, but i sure that people if they intend to live honest life they can do so regardless what situation they are in, honesty is awesome and life is great with honest people around you like family and friends and workers.
1 person likes this
@erikmama (12934)
• United States
7 Jul 12
Honesty is always the best policy but I think that most of us aren't always completely honest. Then you have those people who aren't nice at all or sugarcoat anything...they tell you the truth regardless! I am wondering if we should all be that honest, ya know like even with the small stuff...
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Jul 12
Some people are just extremely negative, and they mistake being brutal for being honest. The two are not synonyms, nor should they be treated as such. Even if one doesn't like something, there are ways of being honest without sounding negative or hostile. I do believe that, while honesty is usually a good policy, it is sometimes good to use some discretion when sharing truths. People don't always need to know certain things; in fact, there are times when just not telling people things is for the best. The movie Liar, Liar used a comedic take on that, and I think that it highlighted the issue decently. Society could not function if we did not filter or spin what we say.
1 person likes this
@theguy03 (187)
• United States
7 Jul 12
I have always thought 3 things that I will ballance what I want to say depending on the situation. What you want to hear, what you need to hear, and what you expect to hear.
@erikmama (12934)
• United States
8 Jul 12
Good way to look at things!
• India
7 Jul 12
Honesty is always the best policy and we must try our maximum to be honest forever. But is is really a great challenge to become honest at each and every moment in our life, some times we are in need to tell some lies and compromise with others to make them happy. There is nothing wrong with this kind of lies which is necessary and make others to become happy, but we must avoid telling unwanted lies and become honest in this sort. We have the ability to keep up our honesty for a long time. But if we are too honest, we are in need to face a lot of issues in our life. We are in need to compromise based on the situation, needs and necessities. Wise persons who is having presence of mind will handle the situation well and carries their honesty with the presence of mind. Being wise and being smart is very important in our life. Honesty always have its own importance and people always believe the person who is honest. If a person is honest from his childhood and he is in necessity to make a mistake due to the situation, people never believe that he is a culprit, since his honest gives more respect to him. No one suspects a honest person even though he did a mistake. Being honest is always a great one which gives more reputation to you in the society.
@erikmama (12934)
• United States
8 Jul 12
What about those people who do not feel the need to tell a lie to make someonee else happy? I know people like that. I suppose many would call them crude, but they always provide an answer answer even in the worst of situations where maybe all you wanted was support. In my eyes that is too honest. I also feel that no matter how honest we think we are we all do tell some of thoes white lies on occasion to protect other peoples feelings. There are so many things that come along with being hones.
@monkmano (586)
• Canada
7 Jul 12
i think you should always be honest that doesnt mean go around telling everyone what you really think, hurting their feelings. but if someones dress looks bad they prob want to know the truth i would! in the end lies arent worth it and dont hold up!
@erikmama (12934)
• United States
7 Jul 12
Well, sometime to be completeley honest you must'hurt someons feelings, no? If you dont tell someone what you really think are you really being honest?? Lies are lies and hurt everyone involkved in them. But sometimes honesty hurts just as much!!
@bounce58 (17526)
• Canada
15 Aug 12
Some people make the mistake of thinking that by projecting their own negativity towards others, they are just being brutally honest. Yes I agree that most of the time people need a reality check. So that we don't go off on some misguided thoughts about ourselves. But I don't think it's right to be negative all the time, and pass that off as just being honest.
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
10 Jul 12
In most situations I have to say that I always try to be honest with other people. However, there are times that I won't be completely honest with another person because of the fact that I don't want to hurt another person's feelings. When someone asks me if something looks good on them, I will not be harsh with them unless the thing that they are asking about looks so bad on them that I would be embarrassed to be out in public with that person.
@taura2p (349)
• Romania
9 Jul 12
I think that honesty is a very important value of life. However, I never encourage brutal honesty. Things can be said in two different ways: either a diplomatic way, or a brutal way. I always choose the diplomatic way. Though you do not agree with the others, you do not have to make them feel bad, just say the things you think in a nice, gentle way. It is much more appreciated.
• Philippines
8 Jul 12
Hi Erikmama, In my case, I don't want to know the thought. I rather choose not knowing it rather than know it because it would totally affect me..with my actions, myself to that certain person...and I would left thinking, is this really me or I am just trying to make that person thing he was wrong. And even though I am honest, I do have limits to whatever I want to say. All the best.
• Philippines
8 Jul 12
Okay, I'm going to be totally honest here. I'm not honest LOL. But I don't lie either. I just don't say everything that's on my mind because not everyone is willing to hear my opinion. Some things are just better left unsaid. I think we have to learn how to be honest without hurting other people. In other words, we have to be tactful. If someone asks me how she looks on her dress and if I really care about her, I will try to tell her what I think as truthfully as possible without hurting her feelings. I will choose my words carefully. When people give me brutally honest answers, I get hurt and it did more harm than good. Sometimes, I wonder why can't people be more tactful. It would hurt less and it would make me more open-minded than angry. When someone is being brutally honest, it makes me feel like they don't care about me because they didn't exert extra effort in choosing their words.
• Philippines
8 Jul 12
Okay, I'm going to be totally honest here. I'm not honest LOL. But I don't lie either. I just don't say everything that's on my mind because not everyone is willing to hear my opinion. Some things are just better left unsaid. I think we have to learn how to be honest without hurting other people. In other words, we have to be tactful. If someone asks me how she looks on her dress and if I really care about her, I will try to tell her what I think as truthfully as possible without hurting her feelings. I will choose my words carefully. When people give me brutally honest answers, I get hurt and it did more harm than good. Sometimes, I wonder why can't people be more tactful. It would hurt less and it would make me more open-minded than angry. When someone is being brutally honest, it makes me feel like they don't care about me.
@kalav56 (11503)
• India
8 Jul 12
A very good discussion topic.I swear by 'honesty is the best policy' but in the question you have raised, it seems to be a tricky situation.We need to be honest but not hurtful.If someone asks me such a question and if the person is a friend I would say "mmm! The dress does look ok but perhaps it needs another top or Jeans[based on what looks really hideous in my eyes] but taste is subjective.If it is someone like my daughter-in-law or a young girl going out with her husband I would ask her to check with another person whose opinion really counts[her husband].If it is my own offspring, I would be honest but I will be gentle about it and ask him what the situation warrants and how he needs to present himself in the crowd[formal or informal or totally casual]. Any day, I will choose my words carefully because as I said initially taste is subjective and nothing will happen if someone wears something to her or his liking.The earth won't come down on anyone.
• United States
7 Jul 12
Most of the time, I don't think such brutal bluntness is honesty per say... it's just being mean. Let's say you ask if the dress looks good on you, and the person says either "No, you look ugly" or "I really think it would look better without the frills and in a different color." Both are 'honest' but one is just plain mean while the other one has something constructive to say. I like to tell the truth, even if some people don't want to hear it. But if what I say is going to hurt someone's feelings I try to think twice and think of a different way to say it so that it doesn't hurt feelings as much.
@GardenGerty (99415)
• United States
7 Jul 12
I am proud to be honest, but I think that honesty can be blended with diplomacy somehow. Does this dress look good on me? "I love the color for you", Will I ever get out of this situation? It will be very hard for you to.
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
7 Jul 12
I don't feel that it is possible for people to be too honest. Honesty is something that makes us who and what we are and how we react to life around us. We need honesty to ground us. Saying that people could become too honest takes something from their character and changes who they are.
@ryanong (9695)
• Vietnam
7 Jul 12
I am very honest. But i may not give my real comments to who is not closed to me even though that clothes look bad on their body. However, I may speak out my real comment if he/she really needs my honest comment.For instance, with my sister, i always give my comment and don't worry that she is sad or not..because it is the real of what i feel. whenever i received bad comments about my clothes, i am not sad about it at alll, i will smiles and then may see it later when i go home..and find out..is it really bad or not, or where is not suitable....we should remember...if there are 10 people give you comments but there is only 2-3 bad comments, better you should forget it all.
@bLadeee (403)
• Philippines
7 Jul 12
I'm not too honest, since I lie to make jokes to my friends to make them laugh but most of the time when they are serious or it's just me, I'm honest and answer them truthfully. I believe too much is bad, that's why I don't keep being honest all the time.
• India
7 Jul 12
Honesty is certainly the best policy for me, but I make sure that it doesn't taste bitter to other people. See the main idea behind speaking the truth is to let the other person face reality, but I don't think I need to be harsh on the other person. So, I make the right choice of words to put up the truth in a sweet and soft manner. Even then if it hurts someone I simply apologize saying that see you asked me to tell you the truth so I told you. And see isn't it better that I told you this thing. What if some outsider would have told you? It would have hurt you even more.