If you caught your husband cheating...you forgave him but you can't forget...

July 10, 2012 9:53am CST
If you caught your husband cheating on you and you have forgiven him but even after a few years you still cannot forget all the hurt, anger, trauma and stress it caused you...what would you do? The love is still there but sometimes when you least expect it, all the memories would come back and you'd feel all those hurtful emotions once again.
3 people like this
6 responses
@isohyeoh (223)
• Philippines
10 Jul 12
If you 'forgave but you can't' it means you haven't forgiven at all.. Jesus gave up His life to save us. He paid a great price to forgive us. What am I not to forgive someone?
10 Jul 12
Truly it is...maybe she's on her way to totally forget but what frustrates her is how long will she be like this?
@isohyeoh (223)
• Philippines
12 Jul 12
It won't be long if she accepts everything. Hard thing to do but if it's the only way, then...
@verolop29 (1096)
• United States
10 Jul 12
im sure it's happened to some of at least once but i still think u should forgive urself and then forgive him/her. i forgave my ex boyfriend for doing what he did although it was more her fault than his. we are still friends but closer than ever. i dont know but i could be wrong; i think that if u still feel hurt or something close to that feeling, then i dont think u have fully forgave that person for doing u wrong. thats what i think. but lets just say that my hubbby did this to me i would be ok by it, but he wouldn't. i told him if he wants to go to another woman i would at least like to know about it and not from someone else, but like i said earlier he will not go there. if he's happy then im happy. if he's not happy with me then i want him to do whatever makes him happy. but if u asked me this 10 yrs ago i would have had a different answer for you!!
10 Jul 12
You must have matured over the years and can easily accept such situations. It would probably have been different if he just told her instead of being caught red handed. It might not have hurt so much. She didn't have any clue until she saw the other woman's messages and it has been going on for months before she found out.
@jaiho2009 (39079)
• Philippines
10 Jul 12
I have forgiven my ex for cheating and there is no hatred in my heart. There is no use forgiving when you still feel the pain. Once you forgive, give the best of it- forget as well- moved one. Life doesn't stop the moment the husband cheated. Sometimes there is a better life after the separation. I have 3 kids with me and I don't need a cheating husband. I love my life now, I am happier without someone who cheats on me. I am free and no one is there to control or hurt me anymore. Letting and acceptance is the best way to move one and forget whatever pain and hurt you've suffered in the past. Do not live with the past because life is too short to be spend with useless things to worry about. Live your life at the best and be happy especially if you have kids with you.
10 Jul 12
It is good to hear that you have moved on and is doing well. My sister and her husband are still together. The husband asked for forgiveness and didn't want to separate from her and their kids. They separated for a few months but got back again after he promised not to cheat again. It has been 4 years, they are happy and it seems that the husband and the kids have forgotten what happened but every once in while it would all come back and she feels just as crushed as she did back then.
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
10 Jul 12
I would be very devestated and hurt to find that my husband had cheated on me. i would forgive him because i loved him but it is the forgetting that would linger on i the relatioship. I could take myself that i had forgotten what my husband had done to me and our relationshio together but still in my heart that forgetting would not go awayl all I could do at that point is to try to build a better relationship without that incident to block the way.
@lampar (7597)
• United States
10 Jul 12
Nothing you can do about it, since you already decided to forgive him, so you have to accept the hurts and angers inside you, you may have to carry them with you for the rest of your life until you die, while he will probably do the same cheating again behind your back after certain time has passed, except he will be smarter this time to prevent leaving any trail behind his adultery venture, he will definitely learn from his previous mistake in pursuing his new hobby.
@riempie9 (1026)
• South Africa
10 Jul 12
You never forget. You can forgive, but you never forget. Just pick up the pieces and go on. Loss is hard. You have to go through all the stages of grief. Sometimes divorce is harder because the person is still alive. In time you will forget. I've been married three times, but the first one, the father of my children, you never forget because he was the first one.