At what age do kids usually start to talk?

Philippines
July 10, 2012 10:06pm CST
I don't have kids yet but my husband has a 2 year old nephew who lives with my mother in law just a few walks away from our home. The kid has turned 25 months this July. My MIL usually bring the child in our house everyday and would sometime leave the child with me and my husband. I have not much experience in child rearing and I hope my fellow mylotter would help me with some inquiries. The child has been displaying an odd behavior for the past months and I wanted to help him to correct those behavior by talking to him instead of just showing him that I am not happy with his actions but I do not think that the child understand what I am saying. I really do not want to just always widen my eyes everytime he would behave differently. At 25 months, he still cannot communicate to us. Sometimes, the child would go to me and would say something which I really do not understand. I would just nod and he would go back playing. I would try to talk to him sometimes and he would SEEM to answer back but then I would realize that he really did not understand me. I find it really hard when I was even calling him but he would not even look. I still do not know if he knew that it was him I was calling. I hope someone could help me with this. Thanks.
2 people like this
11 responses
@ShyBear88 (16874)
• United States
11 Jul 12
Children are always learning how to talk but they normally start talking by the time they are 1 years old they can say a few words before then. But if a child doesn't really know you or trust you then they are not going to talk to you or say anything to you. My daughter is 17 months old and she'll talk to you if she knows you and is comfortable with you if she doesn't know you she won't say a thing. She'll go on playing, she won't even wave to you if she doesn't know you or say hi or buy. At 2 years old they understand you, they just might not listening. Once a child is a toddler they choice when to listen and when not to listen. They are there own person.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
11 Jul 12
Thanks shybear for sharing. This is maybe one of the reasons. Maybe the child is not comfortable with me because I would usually show him that I am angry if he does something wrong. I do not want him to continue those odd behaviors so I always stop and correct him even if he won't listen. But he is the same with everybody. He generally cannot communicate.
@ShyBear88 (16874)
• United States
12 Jul 12
Just because he doesn't talk doesn't mean he can't. He might not have anything to say or he just doesn't get you all. It depends on how you talk to a child. If you never had a child some times it can be hard to get through them especially at 2 years old a lot of kids are just shy with a lot of people even the ones they live with. I went there a stage like that when I was around that age. It didn't mean I wouldn't talk I just really had nothing to say to any and just wanted to be left alone. If he's had a bad history already it might be hard for him to trust anyone. How you talk to a child is all about tone. I wouldn't really worry less his pediatrician thinks something is wrong and if they do feel that there is something there then test will done stuff. Some times there are hearing issues which can make it hard for a child to understand what they are hearing. some times there is something wrong with the brain where they are just slower then others there age or it can be something even more where there will be someone need to help him.
@jazel_juan (15767)
• Philippines
11 Jul 12
My kids started to talk around 11 month old and onwards, i never had problems with their speech because when we are around them we do not baby talk, we make it a point to use the whole word and talk like we talk to adults..so i guess that contributed to them being able to talk fast. My son is 2 years old now, my youngest, he can actually communicate quite well now and is speaking in sentences, i can already give him commands, like when i tell him to put the toys back where it belong, he has no problem doing that. He can tell me what he needs, like when he wants to drink he can say water or if he wants to eat he would say eat.. As for your nephew, some child takes times i guess, just continue what you are doing, talk to him in clear sentences, clear words, like when you give him water, just say drink this water.. say it clear. Start with simple instructions and eventually he will catch up. Just have a lot more patience as you really need that.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
11 Jul 12
Thanks you very much for sharing jazel. You are a great mom indeed, I hope that I will be able to teach and raise my children properly as well. I have only been with this child for the past couple of months and I really do not know what contributed why he cannot still talk at his age. Does watching TV can be one of the reason for this? Because I have noticed that when they have something to do, they would just play a cartoon movie and would let the child watch it so the child won't bother them. And also, I have noticed that his teeth are rotting and in fact, what I could see is only his 2 front teeth and are starting to rot as well. Does this affect his ability to speak? I also do not baby talk when talking to him. I would sometimes try to make him do something to see if he would understand. I tried to give him his feeding bottle and told him to give that to his uncle but instead, he threw it away. You are right that this would need a lot of patience. I do not know if could handle this well because I usually discipline him whenever he does something wrong. I would make sure that he sees my face because if I would just talk, he would not know that I was talking to him. And usually when he sees that I am angry, he would start to cry hard and would try to beat me. It is really hard so I sometimes ignore him when he cries then if he noticed that I am not paying attention, he would stop and do the same thing again.
@jazel_juan (15767)
• Philippines
12 Jul 12
Actually watching television helped me with my kids, my kids were copying the words they see, they often watch Disney Channel and Nickelodeon Jr, i do not let them watch Tom and Jerry actually.. they watch those shows where they are taught words and numbers.. they actually copy how the pronunciation is... they learned English quite well from watching those shows. Well maybe you could try not to get mad at him when he did something wrong, instead do it right, like show him how it should be done and talk to him gently. I find this effective with my youngest son as he was the most stubborn, he would throw things, shoes, etc..when he gets into tantrum he was hard to deal with he would bite, so right now i would just cuddle him and talk to him in a gentler voice as if i raise it he would cry more. Just talk to him more and at nights, i talk to my kids about the things they have done wrong for the day and i always explain my side for getting mad at them, just like yesterday when we went home and their toys and things were everywhere, i got mad and they all cried! I know they were upset, but at night i reasoned out why i got mad and what i hope they would do....and i hope they learn.
• United States
11 Jul 12
Your nephew's development sounds delayed. While there is a range of "normal," he is now in that area where he really should be assessed by a doctor--for hearing issues, for autism, etc. If there is an issue, it would be good to catch it now rather than in another year or two... or, worse, when he's headed off to school. While some things such as autism cannot be truly remedied, early diagnosis and help can make a huge difference in terms of the boy's future.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
12 Jul 12
Hi, thanks for sharing. I also think that he should know or learn how to talk by now. I have seen some children in our neighborhood with the same age as him who can really talk. They can communicate already. But my inlaws says that this maybe normal because some kids learn to talk at a late age. You are right that early detection can really make a big change in this child's future. One of friends has a son who has autism. The child won't really listen or look when you are talking to him. My friend sent his son to a special school and paying expensive fees. But it is worth it because the child has improve a lot. He still goes to school and can join school activities.
@kaka135 (13479)
• Malaysia
11 Jul 12
I think the development of every child is different. My son started to talk when he was about 1 year old, I can always understand what he's talking, as I am always with him, but others may not understand his speech very well. My nephew still doesn't talk much, even though he is three and a half years old now. He can understand what others said, but when he asks for something, he still likes to use the finger to point, or make baby sound, instead of speaking out. Sometimes, he speaks out one or two words. I think he has no problem in speaking, just that he is not ready to speak yet, or he doesn't like to speak much. I always think kids understand what we say even though they are at very young age, it's just that whether they want to listen to us. I don't use baby talk with my son too, I usually explain to him, even though he was very young, even though I was not sure if he could understand. Surprisingly, some time later he could re-phrase what I said to him when he was much younger. He might not totally understand the meaning of what I said or the moral of it, but he could remember and he did listen. So, you can still keep talking to your nephew, keep telling him, even if he has no response at that time. As for not looking at you when you are calling him, perhaps he is just concentrating on his work. When my son is playing or thinking, he likes to concentrate on his work. Since he was young, I'd request other adults not to disturb him while he was concentrating. When he gets older, I told him to tell others that he wants to pay attention on his work first, so that others understand. I am thinking, perhaps your nephew just want to pay attention on his work. (playing, thinking, or anything) I think it's not easy for you to take care of a kid, I never take care of other kids except my son. I took care of my son since he was born, that's why I found it easier to communicate and understand him. For you, you really have to spend time to observe how your nephew is, and find out a way to communicate with him, as every child is so special and unique. It's really nice of you to really care about him. You'll be a good mother! ^_^
1 person likes this
• Philippines
11 Jul 12
Hi kaka135, thanks for your wonderful post. I guess I lack parentng skills so I find it hard to deal with this child. You are right that most mothers would understand what their child is saying even though other people would not. I will try to observe and talk to him frequently so that I would know him more. It would take time and so much patience I believe. Thanks for making things clearer. Have a nice day.
1 person likes this
@dorannmwin (36695)
• United States
11 Jul 12
Though very young children aren't able to express themselves verbally, they do understand a lot more than they are able to say. In addition to that, the more that a young child is spoken to, the quicker they are going to pick up on the oral language as well. We always talked to our children like they were small adults and as a result of that they were talking at a younger age than many of their peers. For example, my daughter was nineteen months old when my husband and I got married and while we were gone on our honeymoon, we were actually able to have telephone conversations with her.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
11 Jul 12
Hi dorannmwin, thank you for sharing your experience with your daughter. I have also tried to make him engage in a conversation over the phone. The child was with when my husband called. I took the kid and place the phone on his ears. I told him to say hello and waited if he would listen to my husband's voice but unfortunately, he took the phone and hit it on the table. I would try to talk to him more often like you have said. Maybe that would help him to learn to speak faster. I do hope that before he reached 3, he would be able to communicate with us by then.
@sishy7 (26767)
• Australia
11 Jul 12
I had similar worries with my first born. He did not really talk until his next younger brother started to talk at around 18 months and he himself was already 3 years old then. As he grows older, I think it is more of his personality. All his teachers always say he is a quiet student. We as his parents always encourage him to communicate, interact and socialize more with others as much as possible.
• Philippines
11 Jul 12
Hi sishy7, your experience with your son made me lessen my worries. Maybe my husband's nephew has the same case and would be able to talk before he gets 3 years old. Or would it be good to make him play with other children so that he would be encourage to communicate with them because of now, he is the only kid in their house and do not usually go outside. Maybe he needs some exposure. Thank you.
1 person likes this
@aejey322 (1006)
• Philippines
11 Jul 12
A child's development varies from one child to another. Some are learning to talk at an early age, and some are in the later part. I also have a 24 months son. He started talking at around 14 months, and he is now at least doing better in communicating with us. But as to your husband's nephew, you should not worry if he still doesn't talk at his age because it is still considered normal. But try to do some other tests if he really doesn't pay any attention when he is called or if you are talking to him because I worry that he might have some hearing deficiencies. I am not trying to scare you, but at least it will be better to check at an early stage...
• Philippines
11 Jul 12
Thank for sharing aejey. Our fellow mylotter have also said the same thing, that the kid maybe suffering from hearing deficiencies. I would really take note of that and would tell his guardian about it. Yes it would be best to check about it as early as possible so we could avoid more problems in the future. Thank you.
@succeednow (1638)
• Singapore
11 Jul 12
Hi Paper_Doll, From my experience, I think kids can usually start to talk when they are about a year old. If the child is still not able to talk when he is 25 months old I think there may be cause for concern. Therefore it is advisable to seek medical advice. Perhaps there is some underlying medical condition like hearing problem or something that prevents him from communicating verbally. The sooner the medical advice is seek the better. Just my opinion. Have a nice day.
• Philippines
11 Jul 12
Thanks succeednow, you are right that we should seek medical advice so we would know if there is a problem why he cannot talk although he is already 2 years old. I would advice my sister in law to do that but I do hope they would listen. They usually do not pay attention whenever I noticed something different with this kid. They would just say it is normal.
@peavey (15870)
• United States
11 Jul 12
It's hard to tell, not knowing the child. Has he had his hearing checked? It might be that he can't hear well, since you call him and he won't look at you.
@peavey (15870)
• United States
11 Jul 12
I didn't really answer your question... babies learn to talk anywhere from before a year old to three years and more. I wouldn't worry about that part, only that he doesn't respond when you call him.
• Philippines
11 Jul 12
Thanks peavey, I do not think that the child has hearing problem. When I say his name, he would not pay attention. I am thinking that maybe, the child does not know his name so he won't look. Or maybe, he still in the stage of developing his ability to speak. I will try to wait until he is 3 years old and I do hope that he will be able to talk when that time comes. Thanks again.
@salonga (27969)
• Philippines
13 Jul 12
Child - He communicates normally.
Two year old and behaving that way. I'm afraid he is a special child. His parents should consult a doctor to assess his condition. He must be suffering from autism so the could not communicate. It is quite unusual for a two year to behave this way. There is something really wrong. A normal child at that age should be able to speak and understand. I really am worried about him.
• Philippines
17 Jul 12
Yes, I am also worried about him. I am trying to communicate with him if I have chance because sometimes I find it unusual especially if I see some kids at his age. I already told my mother in law to have the kid check. Thank you.
• Philippines
11 Jul 12
Basing on what I have seen, kids can start talking even before one year of age. The latest possible is about two years old. I'm not a pediatrician but this is just based on my brother's and sister's kids. If your baby still does not communicate verbally at a late age, maybe he is just a late bloomer. You must go to a pediatrician in order to make sure. There are also cases that the child may be experiencing autism reactions that is why the child chooses not to talk. Good luck with this matter, friend!
• Philippines
11 Jul 12
Thank you savagecabbage, that is what I am worried about. That the child maybe suffering from autism but I really that it is not. Like you have said, I hope that he is just a late bloomer and would learn how to speak later on.