If Your Daughter...

Jacksonville, Florida
July 12, 2012 8:16am CST
If your daughter got into a car accident at 18 years old 1 hour away from where you live and she went to the hospital by ambulance would you go there to see for yourself she was okay? Or would you stay home and wait to get a phone call that she was fine? What would you do?
9 people like this
42 responses
@Cutie18f (9564)
• Philippines
12 Jul 12
Of course, the natural way is to go directly to the hospital to see to it that everything is being done to save her or make her feel better. I wouldn't be able to sit and wait for phone calls. I would have to rush to the hospital immediately.
2 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
12 Jul 12
I totally agree with you! My parents didn't come...It hurt me a lot that they waited for a phone call but I will be the first one there if my kids got in an accident!
2 people like this
• India
16 Jul 12
where i am from (india), this is an unnecessary question.. not only would someone go to visit a sibling but also a cousin or a first cousin.. relationships are very inportant here.. hope you are doing good now and have recovered fully :)
• United States
12 Jul 12
Of course, I would be right there. I would want to see for myself that she was okay. I would also want to make sure that she had been thoroughly examined by medical personnel to be certain that she was really okay before being released. Even if she were 28 instead of 18, I would be there. Really, who likes to be at a hospital by themselves? It is scary and boring and miserable. I know that I certainly wouldn't want to be at a hospital all by myself; I would want my boyfriend or a friend there with me.
2 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
12 Jul 12
My mother never came. I was alone, scared and miserable. I have a fear of doctors since I was very little and my mother knew that. She was not there for me. This still bugs me and so I had to ask this question here. Why she did not come I don't know. It doesn't seem to me that you can love your child and when this happens not go and see them. Those two things do not combine. If it was my children, any of them I would go be with them. The doctors would have to physically remove me to get me to leave their side. Yeah, even when I am hurt or really sick now sometimes I catch myself thinking about wanting my mother there. I don't know why since she is not a good one but I still want her there...
1 person likes this
@SJ112760 (132)
• United States
12 Jul 12
LovingMyBabies first I would wait and see just how bad it was. Just to be sure it was'nt just something minor. But as soon as I found out what was going on oh yeah you bet no matter how far away it was I would be right there. And then again knowing me and how Iam when it come to my children I would be on my way.
2 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
12 Jul 12
My parents did the same thing. They waited to see how bad it was, I just had a minor back injury so they didn't come. Even as an adult though when we get hurt the first thing we wish for is our mother, that is how I felt anyway. I wanted her there but she never came... I don't care if my daughters had a little scrape, I would have been by their side because I know how that feels to not have a mother there...
1 person likes this
@carmelanirel (21108)
• United States
12 Jul 12
Of course I would, if I could. But my husband is one who tends to want to sit around at home and wait for the "phone" call and since he has the car, more than likely I wouldn't be able to..
• Jacksonville, Florida
12 Jul 12
Yeah my parents could and didn't. I would run for my kids no matter what. I don't care if they had a little scrape from the accident, I would have been there!
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Jul 12
Oh, I'm sorry Loving, is that what your parents did to you? That is sad..
• Jacksonville, Florida
12 Jul 12
Yeah, I only thought of it because of another discussion about accidents and it brought it all back. I thought it wouldn't bother me anymore but it does...They left me in that hospital because they were tired and I called a friend to pick me up.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (113100)
• Boise, Idaho
12 Jul 12
I would go to the hospital. Ofcourse I would and I would stay by her side. I have always been at the hospital when she has had to go. For her two kids, gall bladder and all of it. She doesn't have a man in her life that would be there and I am her mother. Hospitals are pathetic places and not some place like home at all.
• Jacksonville, Florida
13 Jul 12
I would too. No matter what the injury, when someone gets hurt at almost any age they still wish for their mother to be there with them. I know I did. Too bad my mother never came that day. I had to call my friend to come pick me up from the hospital...
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (113100)
• Boise, Idaho
20 Jul 12
Its a mom thing. She should always be there.
@thesids (22455)
• Bhubaneswar, India
12 Jul 12
First, I am from a different culture and country altogether. So my upbringing tells me - I will leave and visit her the moment I get to know of it, no matter where and in what circumstances I am in. That said, I cannot and will not deny that there are still some chances wherein I might not be able to do so (practically) - I am ill, have been said no to climbing stairs, driving and also I might be having other issues by the time I have a kid of 18 years (I have ulcerative colitis and rheumatoid arthritis today and who knows I might have some other major issues by that time). So in that situation I will have to wait for the phone call - but yes, I would still be desperate to be taken there before that call. It has happened once already between me and my wife, she was undergoing a surgery and I was not allowed to visit the hospital, so I know how painful it would be if it was my kid. you do mention on responses on pg 1 that your parents didnt turn up - well, there might be some reasons you might not be aware of or anything else. though this part is not on the discussion, but I would still suggest to find out the reasons for that because today you are no more 18 and you realize that doing such a thing is not an easy thing for a normal parent. think about this too. take care
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
13 Jul 12
I agree with you. I would go first thing, ask questions later! That is how I am with my kids. It is different if your not physically well enough to do it. My mother was just fine and able to come see me but chose not to. My parents sat home watching TV while I was in a hospital bed. I wasn't dying or anything but it still would have been nice having my mother there. No, this is just the way my parents always were actually. They were always too "tired" to do anything, and they hated driving because they didn't want to use their gas. Some things never change...
@thesids (22455)
• Bhubaneswar, India
13 Jul 12
They hated driving because they didn't want to use their gas Wow, that is surely a weird excuse
• United States
12 Jul 12
If I am a good mother , a mom who Loves her child And puts her needs first, I am on the first thing running an my way to the hospital! but if I'm a mom who sees Everything revolving around me, a mom who hasn't contacted with my daughter in years, I would stay home.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
12 Jul 12
Yeah I would definitely be there for my kids if this happened to them. Too bad my mother was not there for me when it happened. I didn't care that I only had a minor back injury, I just wanted her there for me... =(
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Jul 12
No F@cking Way! My mom would steal a car if she couldn't get a cab or a ride and somehow be there when I woke. That's how she was. I came first. And I did my best to thank her and make her proud. By what you have said , you are already a better mom to your kids than she was to you. Be proud of yourself! I'm so sorry you didn't have a mom like mine! Now you can understand my reaction.
@BabyCheetah (1913)
• Australia
12 Jul 12
I would go straight away. Even though they are considered adults at 18 it's still important that you go in person to make sure they are OK. I know everyone is different but if I was in an accident and in hospital I'd feel quite upset if my mother didn't make the effort to get to me even if I knew she loved me phsycologically I'd feel I needed her there. Hope that makes sense
• Jacksonville, Florida
12 Jul 12
I would go right away too! Yeah, even now at 27 when I am really sick or hurting I still wish my mother was there to make me feel better! I don't think that ever changes as we get older. Lol. It is the need to have their support. Too bad my mother never came...She sat home while I was in the hospital... =(
1 person likes this
• Australia
12 Jul 12
Argh how frustrating! I'm 27 too but I would want my mum to come. If it makes you feel better I suspect my mum would do the same if I was in hospital but I can't be sure. But she has done some questionable things as well and for a very long time I thought she didn't love me at all but apparently she does. She doesn't like saying it or showing it though
1 person likes this
@ally12 (1205)
• Philippines
12 Jul 12
Definitely Ill go there immediately, coz by going there does not mean only to see if shes ok or critical but for the primary reason that she needs support, assistance specially from her family and as a mother I dont think I can tolerate the agony while sitting on a couch and just wait someone to call me reporting her condition.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
12 Jul 12
Exactly, it was not just about seeing if I was okay but being there for me when I needed her! Holding my hand telling me it would be okay. All the things a mother does for her child. I would be there for any of my children. I don't care what the injury is. When we get hurt or sad we want our mother to be there...
1 person likes this
@ally12 (1205)
• Philippines
12 Jul 12
well not all mothers are the same..not all mother daughter relationship is perfect, and maybe I can say we both belong in the group where mother daughter relationship is not very good tho not also that bad..I have also a story when I felt I was neglected specially when I almost lost my second baby..i was told by my OB-Gyne to be hospitalized so I asked mom to accompany me since that time my husband was abroad but she refused and sent my daughter's nanny instead..I was hurt, I was angry..and her reasons were nonsense..but thats her. One thing I know, I will never be like her to my children.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Jul 12
I would be there as fast as i could. And i don't even have kids yet, even if it was my brother or sister i would be there.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
12 Jul 12
I agree, I don't care what was wrong, minor or major I would be there. Completely agree with you 100%!
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Jul 12
Yup, same here!
1 person likes this
@Hatley (155125)
• Garden Grove, California
12 Jul 12
hi lovingmybabies On first thought I would find a way to get to her but too it depends on what the circumstances are,as some people might not have a car or way to get to her, this is harder to answer'than at first thought, me being me I would find a way to'get there and see if she is okay,but even as much as some love their'daugthers they might have other responsibilities that made it difficult to get to her. So if I had small children and no'way to get to her at once,I might wait for a pbone call.
• Jacksonville, Florida
12 Jul 12
Yeah I would find a way to get to my children too. My parents had not one but 2 vehicles at the time and they were sitting home watching TV. But they didn't come to see me and make sure I was okay. It hurt a lot. Even as an adult when I am really sick or hurt I wish for my mother, I guess thats weird but its true. It hurts me still thinking about the day she never came...
1 person likes this
@NailTech (6892)
• United States
14 Jul 12
I guess they are avid TV lovers like my mom and brother. I had once told my mom to please lower her TV one day after taking a new med for my colitis the first time I was actually diagnosed that made me have one of the worst migraines ever and she gave this odd look and acted like her TV was more important. Sometimes people's priorities are quite messed up. My brother's gotten into rages while "interupted" while watching TV, in fact. He will be a lonely old man one day with nothing but his beloved TV by his side. That is practically how he is right now in fact, if all of us living here were gone first.
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
12 Jul 12
I definately would go see if she was okay..there's no way I would wait around for the end results...what if something happened and you never got to tell her that you love her...one last time!
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
13 Jul 12
I would go too. I would not care what the injury was. No matter what age we are when something happens to us we secretly want our mother to be there for us. I did. My mother never came when it happened to me. It broke my heart. They had 2 cars and were able to come but they were too tired to come... I would be there for any one of my kids as fast as I could get there...
@choybel (5059)
• Philippines
12 Jul 12
Either of the words "accident" or "hospital" would have already sent me flying to my would-be-children's (as I don't have any child yet) direction. You could imagine how I would feel if these two words were in the same sentence and totally referring to my child.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
13 Jul 12
I agree with you completely! I would have been there as fast as I could. I don't care what the injury was. Whenever anyone gets hurt or really sick they usually still want their mother at any age! I wanted my mother there but she never came...
@jaiho2009 (39079)
• Philippines
12 Jul 12
Regardless of age, I can't be at peace upon knowing my child is in danger. Granting the damage is not that serious but still I won't feel security until I saw my kid with my own eyes.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
13 Jul 12
I agree with you. I would want to be there no matter what the injury. Even if they are not hurt that bad, I would want them to know I was there for support if nothing else. I wanted my mother there, she chose to watch TV instead...
@GardenGerty (88985)
• Marion, Kansas
12 Jul 12
If it was at all possible, I would go myself. My daughter will always be my daughter, and an hour is not too far away to go.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
12 Jul 12
Exactly, I would find a way to get there somehow. My mother had 2 cars in her driveway and chose not to come see me while I was in the hospital. I just don't understand her thinking...
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (45071)
• United States
12 Jul 12
I guess it depends on if I knew the severity of the car accident. And I guess if I had transportation. Ideally, it would not be that bad. I've been in a few accidents that required a trip to the hospital in an ambulance. But for me personally, if my daughter had been in a car accident, even if it was an hour away, I'd be there. I'd just have to.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
12 Jul 12
Yeah that's how my mother felt too. Since the extent of the injury was only a minor back injury she decided not to come. The thing is I had no one by my side. I had just left her house a month before to be on my own. I was still needing her there for me, especially at the hospital since I am terrified of doctors. She chose not to come though... If it was my children I would not give a darn how bad it was. Whenever someone gets hurt at most any age they look for their mother. Human nature I suppose...
1 person likes this
• Philippines
12 Jul 12
hi LMB, I don't have daughter yet but in any cost if someone whom I loved meet an accident I immediately go there and check what happened. I will not wait for a call or advice from anyone happy mylotting
• Jacksonville, Florida
12 Jul 12
Yeah I would be there too. No matter to what extent the injury was I would want to be there for support and everything. I agree with you. =)
1 person likes this
@doroffee (4233)
• Hungary
12 Jul 12
I would go there. I think she would appreciate it if I go there, I do believe in that caring and love heals.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
12 Jul 12
I agree with you. I would go too. That is the whole thing. I wanted my mother there, I would have wanted her to hold my hand and tell me it would be okay. At any age when we get hurt or sad we still wish for our mother to be there and make it better. My mother never came and it still hurts thinking about it...
1 person likes this
@cher913 (25895)
• Canada
12 Jul 12
i don't care how far it was away, i would hop in my car that very minute and drive to see her and see if she was ok. after all, she is my daughter.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
12 Jul 12
I agree with you. I would not care how far away or what the injury was I would be there. Even at that age when we are hurt we want our mothers to be there. My mother never came. It still hurts thinking about that...
1 person likes this
@Mashnn (4503)
14 Jul 12
Not only my daughter but even another family member. I could not settle down unless I am able to see that person live. I think it could be very uncomfortable for me.
@nixxx05 (311)
15 Jul 12
yes i totally agree with you. not only for my daughter or son also for other family members, relative or friends. It is also very important to know the condition.
• Jacksonville, Florida
17 Jul 12
Yeah I would rush to the hospital for my kids or my husband. There is no way I could just sit home and wait for a call! I just could not do that. It would break my heart as I waited if I did not go!!