My heart Breaks!

Philippines
July 12, 2012 6:18pm CST
I belive to the thoufht that when you married you need to go and built your own house and live with your partner as one... But my hubby is an overseas worker. And i need to live alone in our house. By then my sis who are in need of care with her children. Come to me and ask to stay with me at the house... For two long years shes been with me thru thick and thin of having all my problems and situations..during my delivery to my 2nd child, during the time when im at the hospital when my 2nd baby was sick with pneumonia. Shes been a help and a problem to me.. A stress maker due to her growing son and daughter. And since my son is growing also they clashed with each other. Even for a time that they make arguments and physical fights, that even one time saw by my hubby and mg son was the defeated one.. The kids are 4&3 yrs old.. They are at the age where they usual fight. But when my hubby arrived at home after 17months. He wants to push away my sister, niece and nephew away from our house due to child fight. And i really dont know where they would go... I am torn with my sis and family. My heart breaks because i know that i am a family woman now..
5 responses
• China
13 Jul 12
Dear mmgonzales,I definitely understand your current situation cause I have the same life experience.two families live in the same house will bring a lot of problems.So may be your hubby is right,and do not worry,your sister will find their own house finally.
• Philippines
13 Jul 12
I hope so dear, but she dont have any work right now, and currently not with her hubby.. She's no were to run and i feel bad about it.. im the eldest at of the family and even she have kids i still feel responsible..
• China
13 Jul 12
i think there are some wrong ideas about how to protect your children in your hubby's head. sometimes fighting is a good to commuticate between children. through fighting , they learn how to protect their own right by their own hands, not their parents . if you push away your sister and their children , when you boy grow up and one day when they meet with their cousins, how do they think? oh, maybe you son will feel regret and blame you that have him lose a good cousin and a closed friend.
• Philippines
13 Jul 12
hi buddha, that's part of the thought. maybe I, my hubby, my sister, our children have a lessons to learn. and a strong heart to move on. I definitely being there still for them(for my sis and her kids) but a space is something that i want her to consider now... My hubby will soon left for about almost 2 weeks. He will stay away to us and live by himself and work to support for the future of our children. Hope that regret will be a better way of telling things we still move on despite hurts was there..
@jazel_juan (15767)
• Philippines
13 Jul 12
It is normal for kids to fight, i lived in my parents house where my brother also lived, our kids lived together, he have two sons while at that time i have two as well and i tell you kids really fight...but the good thing was that we do not fight, we adults keep our heads above water and think like adults. We let the kids be and if they fight, we make it fair, all of them get the same punishments.. no matter whose fault is it..and as parents we make it a point to talk to them afterwards as to why they were punished... now that our kids are a bit grown, my daughter 7 and my brother's eldest is 8, they rarely fight now, they know when to stop and when it is to be fair... my hubby used to get mad at this too but later on he understood that there is no point in getting mad at kid's fights.. there is no point in getting mad at the other parent as well...
• Philippines
13 Jul 12
your right jazel, but in this time i really dont know whats the behind thing of being mad. Maybe every people have different insights and perspective on things that's why it was happening on my hubby. I really dont know yet what he is up to. But for meantime that hurt is there and i will surely find time to have a closed talk and know what are the reasons why it was happening to him.. I am fair because thats my family. and Im the eldest. But the house we are leaving are house of my hubby.
@sharksfin (1098)
• Philippines
13 Jul 12
I feel you. I know how hard it is to choose between the two and if you can only not choose, that'd be better. But, since now that you're already married, you gotta give up supporting or helping your family if it's against the will of your husband. You need to keep harmony in your relationship with him or you might cause him to resent the things that are happening. Am sorry about your sitch. But, am proud of your being a help to your sister.
• Philippines
13 Jul 12
Thanks sharksfin. really its a hard decision and that decision will make me or break me in future. but i need to make it now. DECIDE now and BE HURT NOW so that i could start to live and be what i can be. My door is not closed. My heart is still open. But i need to give a little space to my dear sister to have a closed time with my own family.
@keasling (724)
• United States
12 Jul 12
I feel really sad you are put into this situation. It does hurt. I have had several situations as such and even though my sisters and I do not see eye to eye on everything I believe they understand that my hubby and kids are now my first priority as it should with you. If the children are always fighting and your son is being hurt than you need to protect your son. Your sister should understand this. Your husband does not want to spend his home time watching his boy get hurt either. Help find your sister a place in which she can afford, but you need to put your family first. I hope you get through this ok.
• Philippines
13 Jul 12
Thanks keasling, i know that i can pass through with this.. I need to believe on my sis to all the decision she will do. i really do know that things will fall into its right place...