First heartbreak :(
July 13, 2012 12:12am CST
My 15 year old daughter just had her first heartbreak and I am the reason for it. I feel terrible, but at the same time I am sort of happy. She is so young and there are so many people she will meet. When she was younger she accepted a purity ring, and during that talk I asked her that if she should date someone for over a year while she was still in high school wiil she take a break and date other people. She agreed and has ended her relationship that has been going on for over a year. She had told her ex before dating that I had asked her to take a break if she was ever in a serious relationship and had not dated many guys before him. Well, they have both agreed and have decided to take a break and see what happens. They are still friends, but it is hard to see her sad. I am the reason for her hurt. I know she will get over it and she isn't in tears because she knew, but it pains me to see her this way :(
14 Jul 12
I understand what you mean. And as a parent too I know what your point is. But of course we would be scared whenever our young lady would fall deeply in-love with somebody...Because we were just thinking on a brighter future for them..But let me tell you this I was into a 3 years relationship when I was in high school and also I swear purity to my mother when she gave me my necklace with two cherries, she said that I should keep myself pure until the time I finally finish study and fully enjoyed my single life...She trust me on that, I can always feel it. So I never failed her.
• United States
14 Jul 12
Thank you for responding. I am so glad to hear that. I know she will survive and she really is a wonderful daughter. It is also nice to know that you honor your mother and kept your promise. I know it is a lot to ask of keeping pure til marriage, but as you said we want what is best for our kids.
22 Jul 12
Hi there... glad to hear from you again. Yes we do, we really did wanted the best for our children that sometimes we even get paranoid already just trying to protect them. We sometimes thought we are doing the best thing but it turned to be the other way around. But I believe your daughter is going to overcome that heartbreak. Soon she will find another guy. But if what they had is really true love, if they are really meant for each other. Fate will bring them back together someday.
18 Jul 12
I am a father and one of my rules is you can`t date until you reach tertiary education. I saw my daughter dating with a guy secretly and what i did is talked to her. I let her suffered the consequences like i did not talk to her for a long time and i did not let her stay out late and i am there wherever she will go. I did not came to the situation where i would tell her that she needs a break up. I am not telling you you are wrong, i am just telling that let her face the world without you and that is the only way where she will learn a lot of things. She can easily determine right and wrong when she has responsibility to herself. Both of them dated for two years and its been three years since they broke up. My daughter haven`t dated anyone since. It is her choice now since she is about to finish her tertiary education. She is more serious since she enter tertiary that is why she decided not to date after that guy
• United States
21 Jul 12
Thank you for responding. We had discussed her dating prior to her actually dating. She knew that I am not a big fan of her dating so young and we had talked about what was going to happen . I know it probably isn't what most parents do and I do believe we need to allow our children to live their own life, but I also want her to experience it. I live in a small town and she will meet a lot of new people and I wanted to be there for her.
13 Jul 12
mothers are always the ones affected most when their children reaches adolescence and are likely to get involved in a relationship. i have to admit that i did try to stop my daughter's first relationship when she was in second year high. it is a good thing she consented but when she reaches 3rd yr, she had again another relationship. that was truly a fearful phase in my life. the young ones can easily be blinded by love's folly. don't you worry, she will get passed it stronger.
13 Jul 12
15 year old is too young to start a serious relatioship.So I think what you do is definitely right.No matter in physical or mental,a 15-year-old is not ready for love and do not know which guy is really suitable for her.So be patient,your daughter will find her Mr right eventually.
13 Jul 12
Oh my, I wonder how it would be 11 years from now with my eldest daughter. It must be awkward to talk about those things with her. I never talked to my parents about my love life, which started at age of 17. I don't know how I'd do with things like that. I believe what you did was just right for her. Yes, she is too young to be in serious relationships. Im glad she agreed with your advice, though. But, don't get to complacent, because teenagers can think of all crazy things just to get what they want - even if their parents say NO.