CAREER or FAMILY first ?!?

Philippines
July 16, 2012 9:57am CST
All of us really tried our best to have the best in life,.. Some of us did climb the ladder of success the hard way, and some of us reached the top of success with flying colors, either way we all wanted to get on top. And when we are face in a turning point in our lives, we sometimes caught in a situation where we are trapped and just waiting for an escape... A good friend of mine once told me about her sentiments. we just graduated when she got pregnant. After passing our licensure exam and passed, she gave birth and had to adjust to her new role, a registered nurse, a mother and a wife. She was very happy with her new life, and really enjoyed taking care of her child. she decided to delay working, and focused on her child first. as time passed, she realized that she has to be back on tract, and now thinking for a brighter future not just for her but for the whole family. Its been a while now, but for some months being a full time mom,she has been too connected with the child and that holds her to seek a job. She then ask for an advice, if she has to stay home and be with her child, having enough or go find a job, and have more than enough for the whole family?
3 people like this
8 responses
@ShyBear88 (18523)
• United States
16 Jul 12
It's really up to her.I love being a stay at home mom, I really have no need to go back and I don't mean need as in we have everything we want. NO we don't have everything we need we struggle but we always find away to make things happen. Yes we could live a better life if I went and go a job but then I would miss out on a lot of fun things with my daughter and of course with me being pregnant again it just wouldn't work out too well with another newborn and a toddler at home. But it's not impossible for her to go back to work or find a good job if that is what she wants to do. She should do what me and my husband did we sat down talked about it wrote it all out and looked at the over all options that we have and make a choice that will make her happy. Her heart will know what is best for her.
• Philippines
17 Jul 12
Hi ShyBear,thanks for the response.. Exactly, that's what her husband told her. that at some point, he can still provide and he is not asking her to work. She then told me, with what her husband said tough she is not pressured to do so, she felt the assurance from the husband. well, she said she had to settle now at staying home (for now),.. She realized that she's not ready to work, and she doesn't want to miss everyday development/changes of her month old child.
@ShyBear88 (18523)
• United States
17 Jul 12
That is good that she doesn't feel pressured to go back to work. She can take her time a lot of moms don't work for the first 3 to 4 months after having a baby and some never go back because they feel they have to stay at home and they so don't have to. There isn't anything wrong with a women being a working mom. I love kids and I love being with kids so just being a stay at home works for me right now. I'm in no rush to go back to work. I have a 17.5 month old and just about to have my second baby and I know for us even though the extra money of a normal pay check would be nice I know I feel bad that neither me or my husband could spend this much needed time with our children. Soon my first baby will be off to preschool with in the next few months to a year.
@shylade (3137)
• Philippines
17 Jul 12
This is really a tough situation. For two years now, I am still contemplating whether I should just stay at home and take care of my son or continue my work and my career. I am a working mom for more then two years now. Being one is really tough. She should consider who will take care of her baby first. The truth is if only we don't have a house to pay for monthly then I will choose to just at home. Like her, I want also to provide enough or more for my son's needs. But right now, I'm finding ways to slowly shift to be a stay at home mom. I am blogging and finding ways to earn money online. Also I have my online shop that doing well right now. I have so many ideas to do and make come true however I have no time. I hope your friend can make the best decision.
• Philippines
17 Jul 12
thank you Shylade for the response. i hope with your replies she can be enlightened.
@suzzy3 (8357)
19 Jul 12
That is every working parents dilemma.The guilt some of my friends and family feel is heartbreaking.I do beleave the two can go hand in hand with the support of family and friends if you are lucky.The mother should decide what is best for them maybe they have to work to help with the family bills.Not everyone has the choice these days.I truly beleave if you have trained and worked hard it would be a terrible shame if it all goes to waste.My daughter works part time and it works really well I have the children and so does her mother in law.So she can work knowing full well the children are looked after properly plus we are free as we don't charge out daughter for child minding.Tell your friend to get her child care sorted and get back to work.
@succeednow (1638)
• Singapore
16 Jul 12
Sometimes it is very difficult for someone else to make a decision for you. Only the person herself can make that decision. In her case she should examine her priority. Which is more imporatnt to her - bringing up her child or make enough money to ensure a more comforatble life. Once she has her prioritty sorted out she should be able to decide what to do.
@subhojit10 (7382)
• India
16 Jul 12
Well this is a very good discussion. I believe that at some point of time in our lives, we need to take a decision between our career or family. But i would like to go for my family. In fact at any point of time, my family would be my first priority as my family has always been very much supportive in whatever steps or decisions i have taken in my life.
@munhozmib (3853)
• Sao Paulo, Brazil
16 Jul 12
Hello, Nathan. It is always a big decision to make. Life gives us the gift of choosing. Somehow, we can always take the direction we want to. The problem is: no one knows where the road ends, and, therefore, no one is a hundred percent sure about the way they choose. Career is something related to money, to personal dreams. Family is something related to life style, to have someone in which you rely. I believe it must be measured. Of course every single person will have its own preferences, but I would advise your friend to focus on her family as much as she can. If she has enough to live, then she should pay attention to her family. My arguments are simple: your family has your best friends, people who will stick by your side through every moment in your life. Your job is full of people trying to climb a ladder, and sometimes they'll step in each other's head to do so. I believe that the secret of having a good life is not about having a great job with tons of money, but about having GREAT relationships with the one you love. Respectfully, Munhozmib.
@danxin (58)
• China
16 Jul 12
Maybe she can ask her family members or close relatives to take care of her child when she is at work,and spare some time to be with her child when she is free of work. Of course, it would be a tough time for her but two sides are considered well,isn't it? Good luck!
• United States
16 Jul 12
If she can get some one reliable to care for the child yes go back to work. It would give her some purpose in life as well as a chance to interact with a few adults.. something she may be missing caring fr the child.