would you change yourself?

@shylade (3137)
Philippines
July 18, 2012 7:43pm CST
We can't please all the people around us. There's still one or two or three people who will criticize us even we have done nothing wrong. I sometimes feel frustrated that after I have done my best and even go out of my way, people still have something bad to tell. But those days are over because now I firmly believe that this is me and no one can change me expect myself. It's not good to change yourself just because some people have a problem with who you are right? If there's a problem with you then let it their problem. Life is short to waste time on people like that. Just enjoy your life and if you change yourself be sure it's for the better you and not for who you are not. Your thoughts please.
3 people like this
13 responses
• Philippines
19 Jul 12
Yeah. It's okay to change and people change constantly. No matter how many times as long as it is for the better.
@shylade (3137)
• Philippines
20 Jul 12
Yes, it's best to change for the better than fro anyone else. Because this is our life. Thanks for the response.
• China
19 Jul 12
Yes change myself is a difficult and frustrated but sometimes you have to do this,for me,my boss always criticize me even I did nothing wrong,may be the reason is he do not like the way I working.So I have to change meself to fit his style,it is not easy and unhappy,but I have to do it cause I need this job and need the money to raise myself.How sad it is.I really want to have a new job and have a nice boss.In my opinion,a nice boss is the most important thing for employee,yes the salary is important as well,but if you do not feel happy everyday,money do not make sense for you.
@shylade (3137)
• Philippines
19 Jul 12
Constructive criticism is fine because it can lead to improvement. If you think you already do your best and yet your boss still criticize you then it's time to look for a new boss. You are right, you need a good leader and not just a boss. A leader will motivate you and stay with your side, while the boss is just always in front of you nagging. Wish you could find a new job. Thanks for the response.
@Raine38 (9117)
• United States
19 Jul 12
I used to be a pleaser, but now I'm more of like a "take me or leave me, man!" :) If there is one thing that's constant in this life, that is change. If you change yourself for the better, I see nothing wrong in that especially if this is brought on by yourself. But if you will change just to suit someone else's fancy, I say that's just so lame. People change, that person might have been happy for the sacrifice that you did, but it won't last, because after that he or she would want you to be someone else again. I second you in believing that no matter what you do, people will always have something to say. There's nothing wrong in making the people around you happy, but you have to make yourself happy first. If you're not happy, you wouldn't be able to make someone else happy. I also believe that I can bring happiness to some by just being myself. Those who have a problem with that can kiss themselves goodbye.
@shylade (3137)
• Philippines
19 Jul 12
Well said. I think we are not here to please everybody. We are here to live and enjoy our life. It's like mind your own business. Lol. Thanks for the response.
@sjvg1976 (18386)
• Delhi, India
19 Jul 12
Hello Shylade, It depends on person to person.For people who are close to me i can change for them to make them happy but for those who are not i don't change and why should i let them change for me.I know we can't change people around us but that does not mean that we change our self for them.
@shylade (3137)
• Philippines
19 Jul 12
I can say my son change me a lot but that change comes from me too. I can always change myself for the better. Thanks for the response.
@kelzbelz (36)
• United States
19 Jul 12
yeah never change yourself for someone else because only you should make yourself happy people can get over of the way you are. i mean if you want to change yourself then thats fine but not for someone else cause thats just wrong its what you want not what they wont always be yourself never be in baressed.
@shylade (3137)
• Philippines
19 Jul 12
So true. If I will make a change, I will see to it that its for the better me and not for other people. Thanks for the response.
19 Jul 12
About this question I mostly want to say is: listen to yourself do not be affected by anyone. As for those persons who like criticizing others you could choose to hear what they say. If they are right we change to corect ourself, if they destory our success intentionlly on purpose, we just smile at them. It is not worthy saying a word to them. we hold on ourself and persist till we make more great successes.
@shylade (3137)
• Philippines
19 Jul 12
Yes, we should always listen to our self and not what other is saying. Everything depends on our self and if we are too weak and listen to what other people are saying then we can never be successful. Thanks fro the response.
@jricky1 (6809)
• China
19 Jul 12
I'm gonna change but not for those people.I want to be a better person so i will change,to improve my disadvantages and be a good one.Yes,we can not please everyone so that's why i feel like it's more important to know what you really want.
@shylade (3137)
• Philippines
19 Jul 12
That is right, we can change but its for the better and not because someone like us to change. This is our life and we need to enjoy it. Thanks for the response.
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
19 Jul 12
Even if we did change something about ourselves we could never please everyone. We should only worry sbout pleasing ourselvesd and being happy with the people we are. I do not think I would want to change myself even if i could. Then i wouldn;t be the same person anymore. Changing for someone else does injustice to you and to them.
@shylade (3137)
• Philippines
19 Jul 12
Yes it is up to you if you want to change yourself or not. It's not because of what other people think we should be. It's sad but most people can turn to someone they are not because of strong influence of society. Thanks for the response.
@salonga (28016)
• Philippines
19 Jul 12
Well always remember that as much as possible we have to live peaceably with all men. However, this does not mean we have to let others rule our lives. For as long as you know you are not doing them any harm and you are not doing anything wrong then don't be bothered if they keep criticizing you. You need not change if only to please them. I think they are the ones who should change their critical attitude. So cheer up, forget about those negative talkers and go on with your life. Do what is good and be happy.
@shylade (3137)
• Philippines
19 Jul 12
I agree with you. This is our life and if some people will keep on criticizing us, that's their problem. I mean, we can change for the better not for what other people would want us to be. Thanks for the response.
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
19 Jul 12
Though I do believe that we should be happy with the people that we are, I also think that there is probably not a person alive that doesn't have at least one thing about themselves that they would not like to change. For me, the thing that I would like to be able to change is that I would like to be able to open myself up again like I used to do when I was younger. You see, I went through a really bad relationship eleven years ago and since that time, I really haven't been able to be as open as I was before that relationship.
@shylade (3137)
• Philippines
19 Jul 12
Hi! No one can help you but yourself and no one can change you except yourself. SO I believe you can make it. You need to learn to trust again. I know it will be hard but God will help you every time. Best of luck and thanks for sharing your thoughts.
@monkmano (586)
• Canada
19 Jul 12
Hi shylade, I think that sometimes there are people who will just try to tell you you're wrong, only to bring you down. Other times people may say things to you that you may not like to hear in order to change some behaviour that offends them, there are more of these people than the former. But this will be resisted and mabye met with anger. It depends on each situation. I think there are a lot of offensive people out there that should take some advice so it is okay to be open to change, or at least hearing about it.
@shylade (3137)
• Philippines
19 Jul 12
Constructive criticisms are always welcome because it can help us to be a better person. However, there's some people who just love criticizing people. We can't please everybody so just let it be. Anyways, it's their problem not ours. Thanks for the response.
• China
19 Jul 12
i agree with your idea on some aspacts. yes we can not satisfy all the people around us, and we have no need to do so. we have our own life to leave and life is so short. but sometimes, criticizm is good for us. it can help us to be a much nice person. and once there are people have something bad to tell, we can just have a big smile to them, and think about what they say, then decide to accept it or not. if you do so, maybe , you will be more happier and have more friends.
@shylade (3137)
• Philippines
19 Jul 12
Yes, criticism is good as long is constructive and not destructive. I agree with you in dealing with other people's comment about us. The bottom line is, it is still our self who will decide if we need to change or not. Thanks for your thoughts.
• Jacksonville, Florida
19 Jul 12
If you asked me a month ago if I would change myself to make others happy I would have said yes I would. In a short amount of time I have realized that no matter how much you try to please others they WILL find something they still do not like! There is no way to please everyone. Not even really worth trying. I am finally learning to be happy with who I am no matter who likes it and who doesn't. My family thinks I am nobody because we are poor, guess what I am somebody to God, my husband and my kids! That is good with me. =) I know as soon as we are doing better in life they are going to want to be up our tails but it will sadly be too late by then... I am who I am and I personally like who I am.
@shylade (3137)
• Philippines
19 Jul 12
That is very true. The standard today is almost all about money and what you have. You said it right, as long as you are happy and feel good about your self then the heck other people will say about you. It's their problem not ours. Just enjoy life because not all people are given the chance to live. Thank you fro your nice thoughts.