Should I Be Her Payee?

@MoonGypsy (4613)
United States
July 19, 2012 2:56am CST
in previous post, i mentioned how my mother in law is faking multiple sclerosis to get social security benefits. well, she got approved for them. she left messages all over the place for me to call her. the only thing i could think of is that she needs a payee in order to start getting her checks. i don't want the responsibility. i also, don't want to have anything to do with her and that scam she is pulling. i want to tell her no, but i am the only one she has available. at least, that's what she thinks. you see, i am on disability to. i get veteran's benefits, but i have an in home care taker (my husband). i don't want to be involved, nor does my husband. sigh. she annoys me so much with that stuff. am i supposed to be happy that she got her social security. it's all she has been wanting almost her whole life. lol. really. she made herself homeless for it. i should be happy that she reached her goal. partly i am , because she really refuses to be independent and take care of herself. she always has, i could tell her whole life. she has even gone as far as to marry men from other countries just to avoid working. i should be happy for her, but i feel guilty because part of me wishes she didn't get that money. after all, i got mine. why shouldn't she get hers, too right? only thing is I am NOT faking. i KNOW she is. that's also part of the reason i don't want to help. do you think i am wrong? what should i do? my first mind is to tell her that i just don't want the responsibility. but, she won't take no for an answer. she will beg and then give guilt trips. i hate when she does that. it's one of the things i don't like about her.
2 people like this
5 responses
• China
20 Jul 12
She got what she wanted at the cost of having a guilty conscience about faking illness since then.It wasn't worth her while to do it.But then,It goes to show that there are some loopholes in the social security.
@MoonGypsy (4613)
• United States
20 Jul 12
all she did was tell them that she was once diagnosed with M.S., but it was so long ago that she couldn't remember where she got the diagnosis. after that, she just kept going to emergency rooms and doctors telling them she has M.S. now, she is smart, she picked a disease that is hard to detect and diagnose. since, the doctors just can't tell her she doesn't have M.S., she built a track record off of doctors reporting that she has M.S from a prior diagnosis. the doctors would then give her standard treatment for people with M.S. this builds her a track record of being treated for it. you see, how she did it. she is really slick. her children and family says they never heard of her or saw her ever get treated for M.S., or even mention it her whole entire life.
• China
21 Jul 12
She did know what's what and racked her brains.She got her wishes.
@Raine38 (9117)
• United States
19 Jul 12
I may not know the whole story, but I can deduce one thing here that I'm sure of: never let yourself to be an accessory for something that is wrong or illegal. I know she's still family to you, but you don't owe her to help her out at the expense of your good name. She's gotten what she wants in a very unscrupulous way, let her do what needs to be done according to the dictates of her conscience, while you mind your own. I do not judge people easily, especially if they're completely unknown to me, but wrong is wrong. Her manner of getting SS is a big mistake, and a mistake can never be corrected with another mistake (using you). I still hope something good will come out of this, and you did the right thing by not getting swayed by guilt trips.
@MoonGypsy (4613)
• United States
20 Jul 12
i am supposed to be happy for her that she finally has some money of her own, but she has done it in a dishonest way. i can't respect her for that.
@Raine38 (9117)
• United States
21 Jul 12
You're not supposed to be happy for short-lived gains, especially if these are attained in a very wrong way. It's like your own way of condemning something that is clearly wrong morally and spiritually. The bible clearly says we should always be truthful, and we should not take something that isn't and shouldn't be ours. I can't blame you for not respecting her.
@savypat (20246)
• United States
19 Jul 12
People like this are leaches and the only way I know to get rid of them is to threaten them with exposure. Your could always report her, which is what I would do, you need not even give your name. I worked very hard for my SSI and people who just work the system illegally make me mad.
@MoonGypsy (4613)
• United States
20 Jul 12
i was actually thinking about having her reported, but then i am afraid of the bad karma. that is the only money she has and i wouldn't want any one taking away the money i earned. it's hard because the only thing is that she hasn't earned it.
@tabatha7 (189)
19 Jul 12
oh, what she's doing is terrible! i wouldn't want to be her payee either!!! i'm really sorry that you're in this situation. she doesn't deserve to get social security, and i believe that eventually, someone will find out that she doesn't have MS & she will not only lose her benefits, but she will have to pay back all the money that she has gotten from it. i think you're doing the right thing & i hope you have the strength to tell her no & not be a part of her scam. kudos to you! :)
@MoonGypsy (4613)
• United States
19 Jul 12
what i don't want is for her to start the begging and for me to get upset at her. i am more afraid of my reaction to her, than i am of telling her no, if that makes any sense.
@ranger07 (555)
19 Jul 12
I would not want to be responsible for it either. I would not settle for the guilt trip either. People try that on me all of the time. I learned to just say NO!
@MoonGypsy (4613)
• United States
19 Jul 12
i can't no stand that. emotional blackmail. when people do that it makes me want to do the opposite and not want to cater to them.