What (if anything) do you say to someone who doesn't like you because...

@mommyboo (13198)
United States
July 22, 2012 6:52pm CST
...you were friends with their husband before they married him? For purposes of this discussion, you are still friends. ONLY FRIENDS.
1 person likes this
9 responses
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
24 Jul 12
I honestly don't really say anything to a person that doesn't like me just because of the fact that I was friends with her man before they were together. You see, one of my best friends is a male and he does have a girlfriend that doesn't like me because of the fact that I've known him for practically forever. Instead, I simple avoid being around his girlfriend whenever I can because she stares daggers into me and it really makes me uncomfortable.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
24 Jul 12
Creepy, isn't it? LOL! I think my husband and I got married before they did.... my husband and I are both mutual friends with the guy. Neither of us really know his wife, for all I know, she probably doesn't like my husband either lol. It just doesn't make sense to me, to be honest, many things women do make no sense to me, and I AM ONE!
@sjlskl (3384)
• Singapore
23 Jul 12
For what reason should the wife dislike you? I can't think of any except jealousy and insecurity on their part if you are a female. If you are a male, are you a bad influence to the husband?
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
23 Jul 12
Friends are often seen as 'bad influences' when the other person already doesn't like you, regardless of gender lol. I daresay this person should stop being so sensitive, yes we may be FRIENDS with each other but we never get together, we live about 3000 miles away. We're all married, we all have kids.
@asyria51 (2870)
• United States
23 Jul 12
I try to be nice and friendly, but then I do the stupid thing and say something along the lines of "If I had wanted him as more than a friend, I would of had him as more than a friend and we would not be having this conversation right now." I am still friends with my guy friend that I said pretty much the exact words above to the wife. She still does not like me that much, but I think it has as much to do with our personalities being completely different....she is a trust fund kid, and does not seem to have any friends that have to work for a living....as it does with her being insecure/jealous of her husband having female friends.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
23 Jul 12
LOLOL! Ok I just busted up laughing at your response. I DO think she is insecure and jealous of her husband having female friends... perhaps ANY friends other than her. I cannot imagine why people would want their spouse to have no friends. Having no friends makes you sad and needy, and a sad and needy spouse would drive me absolutely bonkers.
@loonys (418)
23 Jul 12
You don't know what this "husband" whispers on this "someone" ears. Some people say things and claim it is a joke but its enough to for a doubt,
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
24 Jul 12
I'm fairly sure he doesn't gloat about anything.. if that's what you mean. I dunno... I'm not a fly on the wall lol.
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
24 Jul 12
Heyya mommyboo! The unfortunate thing in the situation that you are describing...well...I guess where most any situation is involved, if someone has made their mind up about you, there is nothing that can be said to change that. In my experiences, most anything that is said is taken out of context or not believed. It has usually just made things worse. Sometimes just letting some time go by and them seeing that they are being silly helps things. Sometimes they never see how silly they have been though.
@fencer07 (98)
23 Jul 12
I think it depends on whether or not his wife has a problem with you or with every female friend he has. If it is the latter, I would not worry about it. If she only has an issue with you, then I would discuss it with your male friend and ask him to facilitate a conversation between you and his wife so that you two can work on your relationship, because if you both plan on staying in his life, then you will have to put up with each other. Therefore, she has to learn that there is no reason to dislike you.
@coffeebreak (17820)
• United States
23 Jul 12
I"ve read all these comments...and I have personal experience with this... only in my situation...my husband found this woman after we've been married 34 years and now says she is, as he says...."just a friend that is a girl". And he texts and calls her behind my back and keeps up the so called "friendship" behind my back even tho I have asked him to end it with her for the sake of our marriage..and he says he "doesn't walk out on friends" so all that says to me is that his friendship with her is more important than his marriage to me.HE lies to me about texting and calling her and If I ask anything about it he gets violently verbally abusive because he knows I will back off and he doesn't have to own up to his lies. No, there is no s*ex involved at least that I know of...but still...in short it is your marriage or your friend...which is more important to you? Seems to me that if one spouse is doing something that the other spouse doesn't like or agrees with or is insulted or even jealous of...seems there should be something done about it...or else the marriage is going to suffer. I"m not jealous of her...he isn't going to leave me for her but it has conflicted our marriage because it hurts me that his "friendship" with another woman is more important to him than our marriage.
@LadyMarissa (12161)
• United States
23 Jul 12
Jealousy is a difficult beast to tame!!! I'd be as polite as possible without entertaining thoughts of trust. I'd consider it her loss that she doesn't want to be my friend. Plus you never know what he has told her to create this friction. You can't be pushy because it could make her feel more threatened. So I'd be polite, cautious & wait for her to come around. If she can't get past her jealousy, you could possibly lose a friend...or he might get tired of her petty insecurities & she might lose a hubby & you might get your friend back!!!
@squallming (1776)
• Malaysia
23 Jul 12
As in the situation you mentioned above. I will try my best to be nice and friendly with them. Try to talk to them and build a friendship. If they have any doubt about me or worries that we may still have something, I will talk to them nicely and convince them that what we had is in the past. There will be nothing more than friends from now on.