Would you be very honest with them..

United States
July 22, 2012 10:54pm CST
I think there is a time to lie when people ask the truth. I know honesty is the best policy. But,if my friend was a sensitive kind of soul and she asked me if her expensive outfit was ugly and it was I would lie. I think there are people in the world who can handle the truth.I thought this of adrian but I was wrong. My sister is one who can't handle the truth. My mother tells her that her make up is ugly and she will get mad. she will not change it either.
2 people like this
14 responses
@lynboobsy11 (11346)
• Philippines
23 Jul 12
I think it is in the way how you will tell them that they will not got mad or not offended. I normally been honest to people whenever they are asking my opinion but I do not told them that it is their fault or it not really good. Instead I suggest some things that if they will try that they will be more beautiful. Like what in your sister maybe if your mother told her if she try to put other color on her cheeks she is more prettier than the one she put before, maybe she will not got mad.
2 people like this
• United States
25 Jul 12
That is very true and this way she can try another color which might go better with her skin tone.
@fencer07 (98)
23 Jul 12
I can see where you sister would get defensive if you called her outfit or make up ugly, because it seems like a total criticism. However, if I were in your position, I may try to sugar coat the truth in a way that will provide constructive criticism. That way, you don't have to feel bad about lying, and you may even give them an idea that they really like. For example, if someone is wearing an expensive outfit but tried to put together two colors that really don't go well together, instead of saying the outfit is ugly, you can recommend that they wear that top with their black skirt or certain shoes they own, etc. Similarly, if your sister's makeup is overdone, instead of saying it is ugly, maybe you can tell her that she looks beautiful without makeup, so she should go for a more natural look.
2 people like this
• United States
25 Jul 12
That is what my mother needs to learn because it hurts my sister very much.
@Zhizho (1352)
• Indonesia
23 Jul 12
Honest is best but yes I think that we should consider about place or type of person when we give them critic or corecction. I really agree with response before that it depend on how the way. I am a type who could not hold the truth and i don not care before. but day by day, I try to understand why some people would not like to be corrected and I feel not wise sometimes. So, I think, when I want to correct someone to tell the truth, I try to choose my sentence and show how I care of her/him, that's why I have to tell.
1 person likes this
@CTHanum (8254)
• Malaysia
23 Jul 12
It depends on how you say it to the other person. If it is correct way, they won't feel upset towards the comment. Otherwise , they will get mad. Here, if it's not good then we will say it and we will not just say that it's not good but we will slso come out with suggestion- the reason why it is so, so that the other part can make a comparison for better result.
1 person likes this
@asliah (11149)
• Philippines
22 Oct 12
hi, yes that is true that honesty is the best policy anywhere,but there is a time that we need to lie sometimes in our friend or even to our family just to avoid hurting them,like what you have said because i also experienced that in my college life and i dont want to be hurt my classmate to tell something about her sandal.
@maezee (32248)
• United States
13 Aug 12
I am sensitive about hurting other people's feelings. I really am! The other day I actually had one of my good friends ask me what I thought of her outfit - it was hideous. I feel bad for thinking it but it really was not very good and did not flatter her figure at all. I felt really bad lying and saying "it looks nice" but there was no way I was going to give her that blow to her self esteem.
• United States
27 Jul 12
When your mother says such things, she is being unnecessarily brutal. I'm sort of surprised that your sister hasn't cut her out of her life if this is a frequent occurrence. I don't recall ever seeing any of my close friends in an outfit that I would actually call ugly. I have encouraged them to buy clothing that flatter them, and I would go shopping with them. However, I must be fortunate in that none of my close friends completely lack taste.
@coffeebreak (17820)
• United States
26 Jul 12
I guess if she didn't want your opinion..she wouldn't ask for it. So why lie? I mean, if she really looks that bad..do you really want her looking like that and others making fun of her or laughing at her and not being as nice as you would be in telling her the truth so she could change? OR you could say..."its what YOU think about how you look is all that matters". Clothes these days are hideous anyway. I mean if I made may teenage daughter (years ago) wear jeans full of holes and rips and tears she'd a been so humiliated and hate me and just ...well..you mothers know what I am talking about. But...just a few years ago...she was PAYING $100 for a pair just like that...the fashion was called something destruct or something like that. Urban Decay or something! So I'd would either say.. if you like it tha tis all that matters, or maybe mention to add this or that to make a change that might help her, but if a person asks me... I will tell them the truth. I have a thing about lieing...I'd rather be hurt by the truth than hurt twice by a lie...first hurt when I find out they lied and then hurt by knowing the truth.
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
25 Jul 12
I would possibly lie about something like that IF the person was already wearing it and then telling them the truth would do nothing but make them self-concious all day. The fact that they are even asking kind of indicates that they already know that it is an ugly outfit. IF they still could return it and get money back, I'd tell the truth. I'd say that the outfit did not do her justice or something.If I wasn't asked then I would say nothing. Your mom tells your sister that her makeup is bad but does your sister ask her opinion?
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
24 Jul 12
I really don't like lying, but I do think that there is definitely a time and a place where it is appropriate. The reason that I think that lies are sometimes appropriate is because of the fact that you don't want to hurt the feelings of others. I would definitely never tell someone that they looked ugly in something that they were wearing and I also would never tell a person that their haircut or make-up is ugly. I might make suggestions to them to improve their look, but I would never tell them that I hated their look.
@winterose (39918)
• Canada
24 Jul 12
no, no, no, if she asked you if it was ugly and it was then she wants an honest answer you are no friend to lie to her. If she believes you and gets hurt by other people talking about her then it is your fault. You can say things like, it is not a good fit on you, the color is all wrong, the style is all wrong, or whatever. Sharon don't lie to people period. I have don't have friends who lie and they don;t lie to me. We are not children and we can handle it.
@bjc66bjc (6745)
• United States
23 Jul 12
even tho honesty is the best policy, and people seem to forget that, when they ask the question,,I think if they ask the question they should already be prepared to hear the truth, other wise they are trying to make a liar out of you...I mean there are ways to to say its "ugly" without being mean, like, "its ok, if you like it because you have to wear it but I don't really like it for myself" and then if they persist, then its the real deal..."its ugly"...the end....LOL besides if you don't be honest she will wear it again and asked you again,,,DUH!!!!!
@GardenGerty (99184)
• United States
23 Jul 12
Sometimes people have a hard time accepting the honest truth from people they are close to. They take it personally. In your example about the friend, I would try to find something nice about the expensive outfit "Oh the color is so pretty". I am not sure what you mean about Adrian. Your sister could probably benefit from being told: "If you would just do such and such to your makeup it would be so cute" instead of being told it is just ugly. How you word the truth often affects how it is accepted.
@shaggin (36845)
• United States
23 Jul 12
I try to be honest about things like that. Sometimes you can say well I wouldnt wear it its not my style. That doesnt say to them they look bad just its not something you would be comfortable wearing. With someone I am close to a relative or something I will tell them I do not like what they are wearing. My sister wears a lot of really odd clothes and I tell her a lot that I dont like what she wears. Its like she tries way to hard to be fashionable and just looks bad.