And, she never came back as promised..now what?!

Philippines
August 2, 2012 1:52am CST
The nanny promised to come back last Sunday after she goes home for a few days for a family emergency. We had the feeling she won't be coming back anymore because she already brought all her stuff, for just 4 days of leave. Now, I have to juggle between my two girls. And, even have to leave the baby at home (with my sleeping husband) to fetch the older girl from school at 4PM. It's just a walking distance, though, so I won't be away too long. I don't want my husband to be disturbed from his sleep, since he'd be working at night for a full 8 hours shift. My mother in law called us to inform us that they were able to contact the nanny and that she said she was coming back --- but when?! And, i doubt that. She didn't even call or send us a message to inform us that she would need more time with her family. And, my in law suspects that she may be implying a need for a raise for her to come back. I'd rather find a new one than deal with such a bad character. Why won't she just tell us directly what she needs, instead of leaving us hanging in the air.
2 people like this
9 responses
@laydee (12815)
• Philippines
2 Aug 12
Nanny - A nanny, childminder, child care provider, or a mother's helper is an individual who provides care for one or more children in a family as a service. Traditionally, nannies were servants in large households and reported directly to the lady of the house. Today, modern nannies, like other domestic workers, may live in or out of the house depending on their circumstances and those of their employers. Professional nannies are usually certified in cardiopulmonary resuscitation, qualified in First Aid, and have a degree or extensive training in child development. There are many employment agencies that specialize in childcare and online services that aid in finding available nannies.
I know how you feel! We also went through such an ordeal about a month ago. Worst is the fact that ours didn't even ask to go, they just left! Well, the story was that we had a nanny and a maid. The maid was older and the nanny was her niece. The house-help had been here for several months now and the nanny was only about a month or two in our home. Anyhow, my nephew (a toddler of 3) fell because of the neglect of the nanny and she was scolded for it. Instead of accepting her mistake, she said she wanted to go home. Without hesitation, she was paid a month's worth of wages and was sent home. On the other hand, the maid told us she'd accompany the nanny to the bus station because she didn't know how to go home. The nanny and the maid never returned. Tsk. tsk. tsk. It's difficult to find good help these days. I think we're all better off just doing things on our own and by just sharing the responsibilities among ourselves. Have a great mylot experience ahead!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
2 Aug 12
That's really awful. I wonder if the two took something from your stuff, with them. And, yeah, I really plan to just be the sole housekeeper as soon as my baby is bigger. Right now, its just easier if I have some help around, because my bigger daughter is schooling and needs to be brought to school and fetched back home, and there's the 2 month old baby that cant be left behind alone.
@SomeCowgirl (32273)
• United States
3 Aug 12
I don't think I'd be able to trust her with my child again after that. She may have just wanted to leave the job completely and if so she should have just said that. Though I agree with your mother in law, it sounds to me as if maybe she is implying to come back she'd need a raise. She may not even be happy coming back and it'd be more trouble in the end. Look for another Nanny and do what you can for a few weeks until you find the new nanny.
• Philippines
6 Aug 12
I bet that would be the best thing to do - just find a new one, and hope she'd be a better one.
@ShyBear88 (16930)
• United States
3 Aug 12
Well you have to understand when people have family emergency it means there family is more important then your own family you take the back seat. Yes it is her job and she should tell you or call you but if it's that bad the phone or text she won't have time for. I would take all my stuff with me if I was a nanny because just because I say i'm going for this long doesn't mean it can't take longer depending on what it is and what needs to be done.
• Philippines
6 Aug 12
I would understand if there was a good reason she wasn't able to come back, but we would really have appreciated it better if she didn't leave us hanging like this. I mean, we treated her well, in the short span of time she stayed with us. She ate the same food we ate, slept in the room next to ours, and she knows so well that we needed help with the kids. It's just very inconsiderate and irresponsible of her to just leave with a lie.
@marguicha (84048)
• Chile
3 Aug 12
I donĀ“t know how it is in your country, but I would find a new nanny. I would not feel comfortable leaving my very young children with a person that is not responsible. And I also think that if she wanted something (such as a raise) she should have said it.
• Philippines
3 Aug 12
I really hoped she just asked to talk about the matter. We were actually, contemplating on the possibility of offering her a raise very soon. But, with what she did, I'd rather look for a new one. Right now, I can still bear taking care of both, but when my husband is away for business trips, then, that would be trouble.
2 Aug 12
If that were me i wouldnt give her anymore chances, I would write her a letter saying her services are no longer required and she is fired. She should at least have had the decency to tell you if she needed extended elave. Sounds to me like she is trying to pull a fast one on you. Refuse to give her any references, and dont let her come back. SHe does not sound reliable, or trustworthy. I would be continually worried she would do the same again if i let her return
• Philippines
2 Aug 12
I agree. I told my husband not to offer an increase just to have her come back. Although we are desperate to have someone in the house to help me around, I wouldn't go for someone with such a character. I hope she'll realize the loss she had.
• Philippines
2 Aug 12
hi jureathome, We had many experiences regarding house maids I heard all the excuses they can make We are fed up and we don't like looking for another one since we are just me and mOm together with my 2 nieces our house is better now. Now a days house helpers demands are high sometimes its not worth it cause they even don't work as you expected happy mylotting
• Philippines
2 Aug 12
I really look forward to the day that I wouldn't need anymore help. I long to have the house only to ourselves. I don't really find it comfortable to live with other people in our home, but right now, having house help is inevitable.
@Graceekwenx (3163)
• Philippines
2 Aug 12
Phew! Nannies, maids... why cant they just get straight to the point? Has she really been a good nanny??? The problem with this time is that it is hard to look for househelp that you can trust. Some of them even steal from their masters. Some of them are lazy... Some are text-addicts. hayyyyyyyyy..
• Philippines
2 Aug 12
Mine was a text addict. I don't think she's even able to send money to her family regularly, because she always got her cellphone loaded. I think all her earnings go to cellphone load. She was good with cleaning the house. But, I don't think my little girl has learned anything good from her. Even simple gestures of respect, I don't see it from my kid, even if I remind her about it.
@BabyCheetah (1913)
• Australia
2 Aug 12
Is this nanny from some sort of agency? If so at least you can put through a complaint so she can't work and screw anyone else over like that. She probably just made the whole thing up and has moved back home and isn't coming back at all is what it sounds like. You'll need a new nanny I think and make sure they are trusted.
• Philippines
2 Aug 12
Unfortunately, she was just referred to us by our in-laws from their province. We don't get nannies from agencies, because they're even worse. I don't think we can ever tell if someone is trustworthy until we get to try their character. With the last 2 nannies we had, we really thought they would be good ones because they were screened by our in-laws. And, our in-laws know their parents and grandparents, so we were expecting for them to be conscious about that connection. But, it still didn't turn out fine.
@Raine38 (9030)
• United States
2 Aug 12
I knew it! This is their style from way back. I don't think she really would like to come back, and if let's say you agreed to give her a raise just so she will resume her duties; after a year or a few months that she decides to have another raise is she gonna pull a fast one like this again? What if there's an instance that you really need to depend on a nanny and she decides to leave just like that again? You're right, better look for a new one. She will just have the impression that she can get her way with you and your MIL if she was given a raise I don't even know if she deserves it. Hope you sort out the nanny problem soon. It seem you can still manage for a bit more.
• Philippines
2 Aug 12
That's also what I thought. She'd use the same stunt when she feels like it. And, for the record, she already started at a higher rate, so she shouldn't really be expecting an increase too soon. she's only been with us for 5 months, going 6. Usually, increases happen after a year of good work. I think I still can manage without a nanny, so long as I have someone to leave the baby with, when I need to fetch my older daughter from school.