Jealousy is so hard to resist

Philippines
August 5, 2012 8:52am CST
I do not know why, I can't understand myself, but I really can't help but get jealous whenever my boyfriend texts his ex. I don't know, maybe I'm just insecure or lack of trust, but that's what I feel. I'm trying to control it, but I don't think I can especially I know that he has a crush on that certain girl.lol. The endpoint is, I hate this feeling and I badly need a remedy for this. Can someone tell me what it is? thanks :)
2 people like this
14 responses
@kongno (434)
• Philippines
3 Sep 12
there is no sure cure for jealousy, its a natural instinct of an individual that was born with that character, but being aware of that you hate the feeling is already good for you, just act naturally don't control it who knows you might find a guy that is a searching for a jealous type girl like you....
• Philippines
6 Aug 12
What you're feeling is normal. Why would your bf text an ex-girlfriend? Is he that inconsiderate of your feelings? Even if he says that his ex is "just" a friend now, he must be sensitive enough to understand what you may feel as his present girlfriend. What if it's the other way around, what if it's you who messaged your ex-bf, how would he feel? He will be jealous for sure. It's not the question of trust here, it's the matter of RESPECT. ~This is merely an opinion. I believe that it's not just trust that makes the relationship work but RESPECT..just saying.
• Philippines
9 Aug 12
Wow, you're answer seems to have an impact on me. Yes, somehow you are right. We also need respect and not just trust. Thanks.
1 person likes this
@jureathome (5363)
• Philippines
7 Aug 12
Jealousy is inevitable in a relationship. I, too, often feel jealous about anything that takes my husband's attention away from me. It's just the degree of jealousy that differs. For example, he gets very excited to go biking as soon as he wakes up, and I would feel awful because I've been waiting for him to wake up so we can have time for each other, but yet, he has his own agenda. Of course, I'd feel better later on, but I do feel a tinge of jealousy there. Your boyfriend texting his ex, is something he has to work out because it's not helping in your relationship and if he really loves you, he has to give you more value.
@aejey322 (1006)
• Philippines
6 Aug 12
Before I got married to my husband, we had this issue. But it's not about his ex. It's his girl friends whom I even do not know. I had no right to question him because they came in first before me. But one time I discovered he again had a new friend even though we are already together. I never had this issue with my exes. And I was never jealous with my exes, only with him. Though he always assured me it's only his friends, I cannot avoid thinking that it may be something else. But people around me keeps on telling me that it's really his character of being friendly to girls. And one time after a big fight, he told me he would get rid of them even if it's not proper, just for me. When we got married, I really planted trust for him. Now, I never get to raise the same issue again. It's really the trust that matters. But it's also good to tell your boyfriend that you are not comfortable with it, so he would know. You don't need to tell him to stop doing it, but at least let him know. Then wait for his reaction. If he is concerned about you, then he will do something to comfort you. OR at least let you understand why he is doing it.
@andben (1077)
• Italy
6 Aug 12
I'm not a jealous person, I trust my partner. I think you have to trust him if texting his ex girlfriend is not so frequent. Even if jealousy is a natural feeling I don't like it.
@caopaopao (1044)
• China
6 Aug 12
I think it's not normal that your boyfriend still texts his ex. If I were you, I wont' allow this. Because I think love is singleminded. I don't konw whether the expression "singleminded" is correct, My English is poor. I think you don't need to bear him, because if you bear now, you must bear him for a long long time in the future.
@SIMPLYD (76614)
• Philippines
6 Aug 12
It is just but normal to feel jealous, specially when the texting becomes numerous and even when you are with your boyfriend. And i think you have a reason to get jealous, because why would they will still be texting, when they are after all, already exes.
@Jshean20 (14374)
• Canada
6 Aug 12
In my opinion you have every right to be jealous in this type of circumstance. If I was with someone, I would have a hard time understanding why my boyfriend needs to be communicating with his ex, this would make me very uneasy and the jealousy would probably be grounds for us breaking up! I know a lot of people probably think that my answer is over the top, but this is just how I feel and couldn't be controled either.
@minmin45 (167)
6 Aug 12
Jealousy is a feeling that all humans go trough and its normal. Maybe talking to him about your concerns would help you. I understand you, I felt the same way so many times!
@Raine38 (9031)
• United States
5 Aug 12
Jealousy stems from the insecurity of a person with the love of his/her partner. I am not saying that jealousy in itself is bad; sure, it is also healthy in a relationship, it is nice to know that someone is scared to lose you. But if it creates a negative atmosphere into the relationship then something must be done. Has your bf done anything that will make you feel unease about his love for you? Did he ever do something that makes you question his love for you? I suggest you talk to him about this, and how it affects you. Nothing can't be resolved through meaningful talks and open line of communication. You are his present and future, leave the past in the past. =)
@Daisy_22 (1230)
• Philippines
5 Aug 12
Jealousy is normal but to the level of responding that jealousy may not be normal.If you have the right to be jealous then you're right. However that attitude will just create misunderstandings in your relationship. You have to control that emotions for sometimes it can ruin your personality. You maybe right that you are just insecure...In that way you should not be. Learn to trust your boyfriend though it is difficult to do.
@Devilova (5396)
• Indonesia
5 Aug 12
Its a normal on any relationship, as long as it isn't too much. Cause everything with too much will give a bad result whether for us and other people. All you need to start is try to give a little trust on your mind about something that could make that feeling show up.
@didi13 (2927)
• Romania
5 Aug 12
Try to fill your time with something useful for you: some exercise, reading a book exciting, watching a favorite movie, washing and ironing and rearranging the house if you must. Mentioned exercise, because sport, it gives a fantastic trust you, vent your mind and your thoughts positive print. Banish bad thoughts in your mind that everything you self control. Jealousy is tiring for the other, and if not give up this behavior, you risk to lose it or get sick.
@Charm12 (17)
• Philippines
5 Aug 12
I don't know if this may help you but before when my husband is chatting with other girls i really feel like trowing away hi laptop you know.. :D but i trusted him so i hardly feel jealous these days.. bottom line: trust your partner.. and be confident..^_^