They're my family but why I'm happier with someone else's family....?

@sol521 (61)
Philippines
August 6, 2012 8:40am CST
I cannot appreciate the kind of family I have. I'm not really that happy with my own family even at a young age. I can't find any happiness at home. My dad appreciates me sometimes but I don't really like it. I hate it when they gave me advices. I may be the black sheep of the family but in front of other parents I'm the nicest daughter they've ever known. They used to say, my parents are so lucky to have me. With this statement it gives me a lot of pain. This is the reason why I became an outdoorsy and an independent person. I can find peace and happiness in someone Else's family and somewhere peaceful.
1 person likes this
9 responses
• Singapore
6 Aug 12
There is no perfect family. And even if there is, there is bound to be minor conflicts and problems that arise every now and then. It seems that the problem lies with you and not with your family as you have said that your dad appreciates you and gives you advices. Trust me, no parents would harm their children intentionally. Your family loves you, so appreciate them while you can, before it's too late. Try to discuss this feeling with your parents and see what they can do to resolve your feeling of unhappiness towards your family. Hope you get things sorted straight ASAP and I wish you all the best! :)
@sol521 (61)
• Philippines
7 Aug 12
No. I don't think so. They never checked on us how we are doing but when we did something wrong they got mad at us right away without even knowing the details. They never asked us what was our problems. They're not the first person who appreciates me anyway but other people.
@artemeis (4194)
• China
6 Aug 12
Somehow, I cannot help but add that you are not actually and truly happy even with someone else's family especially when they do not really not know you. This is basically due to the fact that this other family does not live with you and has not been with you enough to know you. Not all families are alike and have their own differences to work out. I do not know what your issues are within your own family but I have to say that it is important to remember that blood is thicker than water. Your family will always be your closets kin you will ever have on this earth. You may not like whatever is happening now but I am sure your father meant well, you just need to see things from another angle - his dearly. You've admitted that you are the black sheep, so I can see that there must have been memorable incidents which led to such paranoid control behavior from your dad. So, learn to assure or better still, come to a compromise with mutual communication and understanding. If talking is difficult, then I suggest you try writing out your thoughts and leave it on each others' bedside table or room. You just need to start from somewhere. Remember, your dad is advising because he bothers and most of all, cares about your well being and you.
@sol521 (61)
• Philippines
7 Aug 12
I just don't like my Dad. These hatred feelings started when I found out that he had another family. I was in my grade school at the time. At a young age, I couldn't understand everything what's going on. They never bothered to explain to us and let us understand what had happened. Then I began to hate my Dad. His being so over-protective irritated me and every time he attempted to give me some advices, I walked off. I remembered when I was a little younger, I never felt happy when my Dad was around but instead I felt afraid because he's a kind of strict Dad who only noticed our mistakes. Then when I heard about the news I lost my respect for my Dad.
@Jshean20 (14349)
• Canada
7 Aug 12
I'm sorry to hear you feel this way. Maybe you just feel that you have more in common with this other family and the comfort level just makes you happier overall. I wouldn't say this is a bad thing, some of the most important people in our lives are not necessarily blood related. What's important is that you find happyness and peace somewhere.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
8 Aug 12
There are a lot of times that our family is not composed of a lot of people that we are able to get along with. That is the thing, we are able to choose our friends, but we are not able to choose our family. It is because of the fact that we are able to choose our friends that we are typically able to get along better with our friend's families. One thing that I have found in my life, however, is that I did grow closer to my family as I got a little bit older.
• Philippines
6 Aug 12
hi sol, I don't know what kind of family do you have and I am not in the position to judge any of you but I can suggest whatever you feel towards them you should tell them sometimes parents are not aware of what they child/children really feels unless someone will talk to them. If you can't confront them maybe you can write a letter telling all what you feel. Don't let the bad memories put grudge on your heart they are still your family live your life full of love and happiness. Hope you will let go all the bad memories happy mylotting
@sol521 (61)
• Philippines
7 Aug 12
I don't have enough courage to do that. I'm not used to expressing out what I felt towards them. It's seems so very hard for me. Only God knows all my frustrations and fears in life. I'm the only one to encourage and inspire myself. When things go wrong, they never know and I never received some sort of comfort from them.
@caopaopao (12398)
• China
7 Aug 12
I think when people spent more time togethter, it would be hard for them to bear each other. Some trouble would happen. Maybe it's because we need our own space. They give you advice because they love you, they want you to do well. Even if their advice is not good, but they don't mean to hurt you. When you are together with the other family, you are their guest, of couse they will say something good to make you happy. I think most persons experienced that. So try to understand your family, you will feel better. Anyway, you can't choose your family.
@donsky14 (5947)
• Philippines
6 Aug 12
I guess just try to open up with your family and try to broaden your mind and understanding for them. Try to have more patience and maybe by that, you could have fun with your own family as well.
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
6 Aug 12
I am sad to hear that you are happier with someone else's family than your own. Still, it is good that you can find some happiness to share. Perhaps ou will be able to reconnect with famil members. ou can be missinout out on some wonderful relationships along the way.
@anonima73 (153)
• Puerto Rico
7 Aug 12
It really relieves me to know that I am not the only one. :) I don't like my own family much myself and since little I always felt more comfort to be with the families of my friends. Why? Well my family is poor and my friends' family would always have lots of money for going out, they ate at the table, they had dads most of the times and siblings who they could get along with. In my case my mom is pretty annoying cause she is really one-sided. My brother is really negative and doesn't care a damn about others opinions, my sister is in another boyfriend/pregnant world and isn't that close to us, my little brother is simply annoying and my dad just doesn't live with us or even know the real me. He's a stranger to our family though I do love him. Anyways there is nothing wrong with this. Understand that having a family you are not happy with is simply a way in which you understand your independence. Be grateful for your family, for your belongings, for what you do have and simply love them but don't allow this from stopping you from a bright future. Understand that it is OK to feel like this and that there are other people in your same situation.