Financial problem affecting my friend's marriage

United States
August 9, 2012 7:09pm CST
My friend married to this guy and they have this joint account. Recently she found out that her husband has 2 to 3 unresolved debts on credit cards, which end up large amount of balance. They tried to consolidate it, but it didn't work well, since her husband finished paying this debt, and start another one. She just fed up with it, and she is totally tired of cleaning up his mess too. She wants a separate account, and let him take care of his own debt since he is not gonna behave. From my opinion, she has the right to do that, since that was his mess before the marriage, and now, she has to take part of it. Honestly, somehow if you gonna married, you have to be honest about your financial difficulty to your future spouse too, otherwise, it might cause both sides regret on this marriage.
3 people like this
16 responses
@asliah (11149)
• Philippines
26 Oct 12
hi, if you will have a marriage you should have an enough money to make a successful marriage,because if you don't have enough money of course it will really affect your marriage,because we can say wow you have a great marriage but how about your future since you already spend your savings for your great marriage.
@jaiho2009 (39034)
• Philippines
10 Aug 12
I agree that she should have a separate account from her husband. I also agree that the husband must be the one responsible for his mess :xx
@sjvg1976 (16947)
• Delhi, India
10 Aug 12
Hello Kingparker, Financial crisis is one of the major reason of break ups. I agree that person should have told about his debts before marriage.Why should she suffer for it?.She should have stopped it long before and asked her husband to deal it with them alone.She should open up an individual account for herself now.
• India
10 Aug 12
Hi friend, sad to hear about your situation, you are right, we must be very careful with our financial matter to avoid a lot of unwanted issues, hope your friends problems will be solved soon
@jugsjugs (13045)
10 Aug 12
If there are ever any money worries in peoples relationships, it can cause a very big strain on the relationship.I do know that there are lots of my friends that are forever having money worries that very often can not be helped.It is better for a relationship to sort the money problems out rather than a person keeping quiet about the problems that are there already.
@toniganzon (44907)
• Philippines
10 Aug 12
She is right in doing that. I won't be able to trust my husband if he would do that to me too. I think it'll be best if they have separate accounts. In that case he would be responsible for his own action.
@adhyz82 (36289)
• Indonesia
10 Aug 12
one of the factor will influence the marriage is economic factor..thats why the couple must be able to earn money so it can`t influence their marriage
• United States
10 Aug 12
In a marriage trust is the most important thing. I know that Randy and I have some old debts that we are going to clean up. I do not blame your friend for being frustrated with her husband for getting rid of one debt and starting another. I hope she does open up her own checking account. I hope she can convince him not to spend money.
@jricky1 (6809)
• China
10 Aug 12
Once we get married,we got undertake some resonsibilities.Of course,financial problem is really important.Everbody needs to pay off their credit card,however,difficulties will be go through and if the two are in love,this can not be the problem.Good luck to us.
@911Ricki (13602)
• Canada
10 Aug 12
I agree to be honest about that, my brother and his wife are the saame my brother simple spends , spends, and she fixes it. Im sure in a few years she will get tired of paying everything. Me personally if you cant handle your money or debts then your not worth my time, and shows you wont change. This lady I use to work with got herself in so much debt, then tried getting herself out, but kept getting herself into it more. She asked if I would move in with her, and I told her no. Whenever Im in a relationship I wont share an account period, many guys will toss me to the curb but just means they have free run of my money.
@Paper_Doll (2376)
• Philippines
10 Aug 12
I am amazed that this guy still has the courage to repeat his past mistakes. I would understand once but if it happens again, I don't think I can tolerate that anymore. If we are talking large amount of money here, I would make him learn his lesson the hard way. Paying his debts once is enough. Too bad that she has to suffer because of her husband not being responsible. And where did this guy used the money? Why don't she open a new account of her own, I believe she can do that. But don't tell her husband that she has another account. Make this guy be responsible for his own debts especially if he used that money for his own pleasures. Money issues can ruin marriage so if this guy won't behave, their marriage would definitely suffer.
• India
10 Aug 12
If the couple are not understanding each one feeling then account should be created for each one of them. They have the rights how to spend their money. If you don't believe your partner go the bank and open a separte account.
• Philippines
10 Aug 12
Even though they are married, they should have individual accounts because it's their right to own their own money.
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
10 Aug 12
An error, which has been done by your friends. It should, before marriage, your friends, see how their partner. Partner is not honest. Because, already married. They should think about this as well. Spouse must complete its debts. Your friend should give a chance, her husband, to settle its debts. May their marriage be kept running, despite problems.
@freqspaz (220)
• United States
10 Aug 12
After something like that I am surprised she is only asking for a separate account not a complete separation! Money is not everything in life, no. And my hubby and I have proved that money or no, we can be happy. But if he EVER did that to me, to jeopardized purposefully everything I have worked for and built up I wouldn't want him in the house anymore. And I know he would say the exact same thing for me. And just to be clear, money is not everything, but when you accomplish something, like getting all of the bills paid early in a month, with money left over, just have some one rip that from you with bounced checks or some such stuff I would be soo irritated. Not only that but if you can't communicate about money what else are you not telling your spouse? I mean the money has to go somewhere- is it going to another lover? To some kind of addiction that could kill him, or her or maybe something illegal like gambling or something that can just destroy both of them. Yeah, I have to say it again, he should count himself very, very lucky to just have a wife that wants a separate bank account. If I were her though I would start asking A LOT of questions, and double check all of his answers.
• United States
10 Aug 12
I hear some people say that once married whats his is heres and what hers is his. This in my book would be bank and credit cards too. I tell you this much. married or no married I will nevr join accounts with anyone. I am too stricked when it comes to paying my bills. I pay my bills first and buy food later. I can't be with someone who neglects thier responsibilities.