Who's to blame?

@toniganzon (49185)
Philippines
August 15, 2012 8:38am CST
When something goes wrong in our lives, when our plans didn't go as we expected, when we have nothing good happening in our lives, who do we blame? Are we courageous enough to admit we screwed up because of us or we put the blame on someone else? I heard my brother asking what bad things he had done that he's being punished by God. He believes he's being punished because of failed expectations. I don't agree with him because I believe he is carrying a burden that he's not supposed to. He's so affected by our siblings wrong choices and he thinks it's his responsibility but he's not doing anything to fix it.
4 people like this
14 responses
@Rick1950 (1555)
• Lima, Peru
17 Aug 12
I think that all of us experience unpleasant situations in our lives. Also people who might not deserve it. I don't know if this is the fault of someone, maybe yes, but it is tough to know it, e.g. who is to blame when nature disasters occur around the world? or when a disease appears in a town? People tends to blame someone when they are suffering bad events. History tell uns about this. I think that also our right choise will help us to avoid bad results in life. Anyway, there are also happy events in life and I expect that these are more than the sad ones.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (49185)
• Philippines
17 Aug 12
Spoken with words of wisdom. Looking back at our history, it's inherent for people to blame others for bad things.
1 person likes this
@Fulltank (2896)
• Philippines
16 Aug 12
One of the hardest thing a person could accept accepting the blame for the thing he/she had done. It's the result of the things that we had done on the past or the things that we didn't take care off when there's plenty of time to correct. I think everything that we are today are the result of the things that we had decided on the past. If one accepts that fact of this, then we, and we alone are to blame. if misfortune happens, most of the time we blame someone else. Its one way to deal with these thing. But can can choose to look at the things that we did, and start saying "Its my fault, I wish I could do better in the past". But its never too late, as long as we are breathing, knows our fault, then we can start moving forward to correct it, to become a better person. And as we look towards the future, we are now more equipped on how to deal life the way we knew are correct.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (49185)
• Philippines
16 Aug 12
Yeah you are right. It's never too late to correct our mistakes. I just wish that we would be brave enough to admit that we did commit mistakes.
• Philippines
16 Aug 12
I think we all have to blame for everything we do and whatever that might happen in our lives. We don't have the right to blame God for everything. Everything that happens in our lives, happens for a reason. It happens because it's the consequence for the actions we make. Your brother should admit the reality that God doesn't hold everything that has been happening in our lives, we are all responsible for our own actions and whatever outcome it mighy lead to.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (49185)
• Philippines
17 Aug 12
I hope my brother would realize that soon. I know he's not being punished. What I know is that he's been punishing himself.
@ryanong (9695)
• Vietnam
16 Aug 12
Well, i don't blame anyone, i blames myself only.... We will have to face many problems in this life, if we always find someone else to blame, we can't learn anything. Anything happens to me, i told myself: take it easy, take it easy..to make me calm down and have time to think of it...and try my best to pass it and do the next work better...
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (49185)
• Philippines
16 Aug 12
Learning and moving on. That's a good thing. Some people though are not as brave as you to admit mistakes and learn from it. I hope they would though.
@jazel_juan (15767)
• Philippines
16 Aug 12
Well somehow i still believe it was given to your brother because somehow God knows he can carry it and be able to solve it.. i still believe everything happens for a reason.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (49185)
• Philippines
16 Aug 12
I do too. I just hope he realizes that it's not God punishing him, but he himself.
@yanzalong (10151)
• Indonesia
15 Aug 12
Life is like a spinning wheel. How soon he will be up depends on how hard he struggle to change it. God won't change his life unless he himself tries to make the changing.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (49185)
• Philippines
16 Aug 12
You are right. He has to change his attitude towards things.
@MandaLee (3695)
• United States
15 Aug 12
Hi Toni, Your brother is not being punished by God. Each of us is responsible for our choices. God is loving. He is not out to get your brother. I hope your brother gets to the point where he takes steps to fix things, but only he can make that decision.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (49185)
• Philippines
16 Aug 12
Yes i know that and i hope he would soon come to realize that too.
@chookie1971 (2277)
• Australia
15 Aug 12
I have been put through a situation where communication failed. I did make an error in my dates and yes I did admit my guilt there. But the other person made a comment which made me feel I was taken for granted. She failed to tell me her plans. Because I didn't know of her plans, I told her my plans first. As it turns out my mistake on the dates became real. It is almost a week since I have spoken to her and she doesn't feel that what I have said to her had merit. If it did, she would have spoken to me by now. I don't think she can admit that she is wrong.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (49185)
• Philippines
15 Aug 12
Ego. That's what stopping most of the people from admitting their mistakes. It's really bad that she's not capable of admitting her own mistake.
• United States
15 Aug 12
I have to blame myself for a lot of what happened in my life. I have so many things I wish i could go back and change but the made a a stronger person. I think it is best to just move on and work on not making those mistakes again.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (49185)
• Philippines
16 Aug 12
At least you are brave enough to admit those mistakes. We should all learn from our mistakes and move on instead of pointing fingers to other people.
@Raine38 (9117)
• United States
15 Aug 12
Law of Motion, "to every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction". Whatever happens in our life, a big factor of this is caused by our own actions. We cannot change nor control whatever crap life may throw our way, but we can definitely decide and control our actions. We have a choice. We may not always make the right decision, but that doesn't mean we will never do. Just because there are also lots of people in the equation doesn't make our "liability" or responsibility any lesser. Learning to accept that we messed up helps us grow, helps us analyze where and what we did wrong so we can do better next time. Dodging the blame will not make anything right, and it won't definitely change the outcome. So the best thing to do is suck it up, accept our part of the blame and try again and do better. Life isn't always fair. We just have to deal with it the best way we can. we decide, we act. We ask guidance from God but the right decision isn't going to fall down from the heavens straight into our laps in a golden platter. We have to make it, expect the worse and hope for the best.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (49185)
• Philippines
16 Aug 12
Life really isn't fair. That's the reality. We must learn how to be responsible for our own actions. That may be hard but it's the right thing to do.
@hsofyan (3448)
• Jakarta, Indonesia
15 Aug 12
Yes, I agree with you. Your brother bore the burden of guilt, and he was looking for an alibi.
@toniganzon (49185)
• Philippines
15 Aug 12
I pity him though but I couldn't help him get through it. But what about you? Who do you blame?
@ARIES1973 (9533)
• Legaspi, Philippines
15 Aug 12
Hi toni! What we are today is the product of what we have done in the past. So there's no other person to be blamed whenever we failed on something but ourself. Actually, there is no use blaming other people as it will not help in any way.
@toniganzon (49185)
• Philippines
16 Aug 12
That is so true. It's all about us. Weak people however, are prone to blame others for their mistakes. That's because they're too scared to admit that they have failed.
@suspenseful (40316)
• Canada
15 Aug 12
One cannot put the blame all on oneself unless one knew of the consequences, and there was help available so one would to go down that same path. That is why Paul the Aposlte said for Christians that they would not be tempted beyond what they could bear. But that does not apply to people before they became Christians. They do not have the onsite that what would happe to them if they went down that certain path and they get into trouble. There is also others who make it impossible for them to do any other choice. You hear it when you turn on the television and someone says, "I did not know any other way," So blame is to be shared between your brother, and anyone else who got hip to do what he did and those who kept silent when they should have cautioned him not to do what he did. And of course, he feels he is being punished, because sometimes you have to pay for what one did out of ignorance. In this case, prayer would help. Is there anyone he can talk to? And it is also up to the siblings to fix their problems. You cannot put all the burden on him.
@suspenseful (40316)
• Canada
15 Aug 12
I did to realize it was his siblings who also made wrong choices. I think he feels overly responsible and thinks it is all his fatl. That could also hinder him from helping fix the problem. A mental block.
@zhihao12 (364)
• Singapore
15 Aug 12
No matter what people say, it is a fact that whatever happens to you that affect you is still your responsibility. I would not use the word "fault" here because we cant really say its our fault especially when some things are beyond our control. However, if we were to point our finger at someone at all cost, that person would be our self. In the first place, everybody involved in the situation has some responsibility one way or another but if you really want to blame others, the first person you should look forward to is yourself.
@toniganzon (49185)
• Philippines
15 Aug 12
Yeah i agree. The very first person we should look at is ourselves But most of us don't put the blame on us. It would be easier if we could blame others.