he doesn't share what he thinks with me because he's afraid I might get mad

Romania
August 17, 2012 3:37am CST
recently I started with a relationship with a guy. he's really nice with me but there is a thing that it bothers me. he says I'm right in absolutely everything...sure this could be fun at the begining but now it's starting to annoy me. he doen't share his opinion with me when it comes to somehting because he's afraid I might get mad or something. I told him how I feel and the only thing he understood is the fact that I don't like the fact that he's not trying to get me mad. I would like a relationship with someone who is able to express his opinion...to prove me I'm wrong and not act like this: yes baby...you're right baby...in absolutely everythingggg
8 responses
@chiyosan (29389)
• Philippines
20 Aug 12
i think eventually you will just explode. what you have(and i have no intention to put more pressure and to add to what you already is feeling towards your partner...) but i have been with a guy like this and it makes me feel like why do i have to always decide on my own... and why does he not have his own decision, and so on. Guys are supposed to know what they want, be firm, be sure and confident and not hide in awoman's back for decisions and anything related to it. it is just not healthy at all for any relationship to be like this. i hope you would be able to talk to him and tell him about this before you can handle more as you just might get tired of it and the relationship will just end up you having to just be without him...
• Romania
20 Aug 12
I feel the same way as you. I like a man who is confident. I talked to him even today and I asked him why does he have to approve me in everything and that most of our conversation on the internet for example are the same...what was his reply? you're right...I going crazy
@Jshean20 (14374)
• Canada
18 Aug 12
I can see how that would get very annoying because after awhile you must suspect he is being fake and just trying to impress you. To be honest this is common in the early stages of relationships, I experienced that with my partner in the beginning. In our case, after about 2 years we weren't agreeing with everything, enjoy it while you can? haha..
• Romania
18 Aug 12
we've been together for about 3 months now and he still acts the same. I don't know what to do about it. as I said I tried to talk to him but still this didn't get us anywhere
17 Aug 12
He might be too much in love with you and ignores any fault in you that you might have. Another reason may be he is just not interested in the faults in you, so he does not tell you about it. He might also think that telling you that you are perfectly alright will please you. Try to make him understand what you are interested in to hear from him. Over time he may understand that what you do not like about him the way he always try to please you.
• Romania
17 Aug 12
I like how he treats me...I like the fact that he respects me and understands me when I have things to do and I can't meet him.that's pretty much the only thing that bothers me about him and I don't know if I can accept it.
@jkct02 (2860)
• Malaysia
17 Aug 12
Being honest to each other is good and important but when being strongly opinionated often becomes the spark to ignite arguments, then people would have second thoughts to say something when having different opinions. But if he has been that way since the very beginning, I would feel amused and wonder why. Maybe you can try to ask more his opinions instead of telling him your opinions. Let him talk. Don't show your color. More importantly, don't argue when you feel differently about something but try to engage in a friendly discussion. Exchange of views. No right or wrong. Hope it helps.
• Romania
17 Aug 12
I just gave an example...but I feel like he isn't himself when he is with me and I don't know why...I tried to encourage him to feel more relaxed but he still acts the same
@namiya (1599)
• Philippines
17 Aug 12
Why not tell him upfront what you want. Maybe as it seems that you are still in the "getting to know" stage he just want to please you and doesn't want to provoke your ire not realizing that his attitude is actually inciting that reaction from you.
• Romania
17 Aug 12
I told him...and he's acting the same way...the only thing that he understood from it is the fact that I don't like him not trying to get me mad...I don't know what to do. things can't continue like this
@Porcospino (16435)
• Denmark
20 Aug 12
He probably thinks that he makes you happy if he always agrees with you he thinks that you will be less likely to get tired of him if he agrees with you. He probably has good intentions, he just doesn't realize that his behaviour might have the complete opposite effect. I understand why you find it annoying that he doesn't share his honest opinion, I would find that annoying as well, because I don't want to people to please me all the time, I want them to share their honest opinions even when they disagree with me. I think that he is afraid of sharing his honest opinion because he thinks that you will get bad or because he thinks that you will reject him if he is honest. I am not sure what you can do to change the situation except talking to him again. Tell him that he doesn't have to agree with you to make you happy and that it actually has the opposite effect on you.
@manduri20 (108)
• Uganda
18 Aug 12
maybe you are so up tight .Most of the times the way you conduct your self is the way a guy treats you. saying that it doesn't annoy is not the same as showing it. Not every one who shades tears is crying. say it like you mean it maybe he will change but don't let your body say other wise
@jureathome (5363)
• Philippines
17 Aug 12
Oh, that's kinda annoying. I had a boyfriend before who is like that, too, and I broke up with him after 2 months. I don't like guys who don't have initiative and don't have their own mind. And, Im sure it won't last that way, anyway. Someday soon, they'll show their real color, and you might just be surprised its the total opposite.