Have You Been Told This?

Hi LovingMyBabies, After being married a few times I can recall family or friends trying to give me some advice which I thought they were just being too nosy and I didn't want anyone interfering in my life. I was very stubborn when I was young and thought I knew everything of course...most young people do. I was told this before and after I was married. I wish I listened at the time because sometimes people see the other person as they really are, and you are blinded to it. They told me this for my own good, not out of any type of jealousy at all. They just didn't want to see me get hurt but of course I never thought it would happen. Eventually it did happen. And sometimes you know it, but just don't want to believe it. I have no idea how your situation is....I just know how mine was and how it ended up.

Previously, I also say to myself, want a better life. Because, my life is very chaotic, and my husband always makes me sad. That said, I am jealous, with the lives of others, who seemed happy. But, for now. I do not like, think like that anymore. I enjoy my life now. And do not want to complain anymore.

My first husband would say that out of depression. At other times others tried to flirt with me, because he was on the road. Either way, I was with him, and stayed with him and it did not matter. People are so rude sometimes. He was who I belonged with and that was that.

good don't listen to those people, that was the major reason for the break up of my marriage, I was young and stupid and listened to too many people who told me the same thing they told you. I learned never to discuss my relationship with anyone not even family. My matt and I sort out our own issues and that is the way it should be.

May be sometimes we can say or think like that at the time when are not in a good mood or something happened between you and your husband. But in my case I thinking such thing but immedaitely change it because I always thinking my children which I'm sure they are affected.

it all depends on your entire perspective ,some say it for jealous,but i think if you analyze it overall,its for good range and it helps you a lot to feel who you are and at the end of the day ,its about calling your inner voice to play the role to take decision

I've been told that once or twice... My situation goes little deeper than money but when it comes down to it, it's all the same... I'm Asian decent & I came to U.S. when I was 14 years old... It was in the mid 80s when I went to middle school here... Back then, at least the school I went to, didn't have too many Asian kids... There were 4 Asian kids in the entire school, myself included... As I got older & started dating, of course I started going out with girls outside of my race... I didn't "look for" an inter-racial relationship on purpose... I didn't even know what that was at the time... I just went out with girls that were available at the time, who happened to be of different race than I was... Late 80's, I moved to another school & I saw that there were a lot more Asian kids in the school... Of course I just hung out with people I felt comfortable with... I met a nice girl & shortly after, we started dating... One of the Asian kid I be friended told me I could do better... Turns out that he meant I could be with nice Asian girl... I never really put too much thought into it till when I was in college... I met another girl & we started talking about getting married... I've been told by Asian "friends" & even family members that I could do so much better by marrying a girl of my "own kind", whatever the **** that meant... I have a daughter from that relationship... My parents had very hard time accepting her as their grand daughter for long time... Well, that relationship didn't really work out... Now I'm living with a girl whom I happen to love very much... In the beginning, I've gotten a lot of "you could do so much better"s but they've realized that I'm not going to live my life based on their opinions, their values & their beleifs so I think they all gave up... My mother & sister came around to the point where they're now almost like best of friends with my girlfriend... I guess that's the whole point... I won't live my life based on other people's standards...

Yes.... I hear this often because of something asinine that my husband did before I even met him. My guy treats me better than any man I have ever dated... and to be honest with people, he treats me better than my own darn family most of the time. Yes, he did something wrong and no, it wasn't something horribly wrong. But he has to pay for what he did - I'm not going to up and leave him just because my family thinks I should because it's put me in a stressful situation that isn't going to last forever. I don't understand why sometimes people can't just butt out or stop taking the easy way out of everything in a life that is NEVER going to be simple, geesh. I love my guy and I know that I'm not going anywhere. (:

My mom (jokingly) tells me I should marry a doctor instead of my boyfriend, because I have really expensive taste. Lol. But, I'm happy with my boyfriend, we're about to start a family (within the next few weeks, I'll be having his baby. =D), and we're getting married at our next convenience (both REALLY busy right now). I'm totally happy with my situation, and I wouldn't listen to anybody if they told me I should be with someone else. And, he's told me, he wouldn't want to be with anyone else either.

Please forgive my answer, which at first glance it might seem a bit off topic. I am neither married nor engaged. I'm just single! So the logical thing no one told me what you have cited inherently children. But I must tell you that many people I have often advised to have a family. That is not to spend your entire life with mom and dad. But I do not have any intention! Then, after all, women do not interest me! (With all my respect to you, you're a woman, mind you!)

Well, it's not me, but my parents. My dad is a Chinese heritage and my mother is a Javanese. They were of different cultures although they're from the same country, so people used to forbid them to get married. But then after all the hard times, they can prove to their family that they're really meant together. Even my dad became the best son-in-law for my mom's parents and my mom is the most favorite daughter-in-law for my dad's parents. So I think our life doesn't depend on what others say, it all depends on us. People might think they know what's good for us, but I think it's only us who know what's best for us. Right?

Not yet because I'm still single.:)

What a great topic for discussion. Yes I was told that by my mother. She used to tell me all the time and she told my brother the same thing about his spouse. I used to argue with her and then came to ignore the comments. Finally I realized the reason she was complaing about my life and choices was because she was unhappy with her own.

I have never been told a thing like this. I can imagine that it might have been said from fancy toward you by someone. It might be a set up case. If you are told by someone to be with someone to become more successful and etc in life, it is not actually your choice to want to be with them. You had chosen to be who you are with or you had been influenced by others to choose who you are with. i would not let others decide who should I be with.

There have been times when I was with a guy who was too bossy that I should consider what I was getting into before marrying that person. In the case of bossy guys, I didn't really have to be told, as I would soon see this for myself, if I hadn't already. I'm too independent to be married to a bossy guy. However, I just don't get it when there is somebody who, like you, is, obviously, very happily married and someone still comes along to advise you to get out of the marriage and find somebody better. Your choice of a life partner should be nobody else's business than yours and your husband's. If the two of you are happy, other people should shove their negative advice and opinions where the sun doesn't shine!!!

Unbelievable. No-one has the right to say something like that to anyone. It's just wrong. I would be speechless and very angry. How would that person feel if you told them they need to see a therapist to find out why they feel the need to interfere in other's lives. People might not agree with your decisions but that's their problem, not yours. It's your business whom you choose to live with. If you are not happy then you have the right to ask for help and advice but until you do that, the issue is off limits to anyone.

Money can make things easier, but it certainly shouldn't be the sole basis for choosing one's mate. If your husband is good to you, and the two of you love each other, you have made the right choice. If I had been choosing a mate solely based on bank account, I wouldn't be with my boyfriend right now. Despite some of his family's delusions, there is no gold to be dug, and I certainly am no gold digger. Thankfully, they have since figured that out as I have been by his side through some rather difficult situations... and him by mine.

I think once you are married you made your choice for better or worse. People need to keep their comments to themselves. I'd go a bit further your friends and families should be supportive of you and be helpful and not saying disparaging remarks. The only way I would think differently would be if he beat you and the kids or was abusive in other ways. Otherwise we should mind our own business. If you married who you love and money is a huge problem, you can find a way to make it better. I wouldn't be telling everyone your problems because that causes people to form opinions. It's better to keep all your problems within your marriage.

People will give their opinions and even be bossy, snippy, etc. about various things even after you're an adult. You're the adult though too, so choose what you want, that doesn't make them right. Just ignore them and do whatever makes you happy at any given time in life. Thats what I believe in. Money doesn't make everyone as happy as they claim, it helps in some cases but alot of times I have seen the downfall of people in relationships who are dirt rich too.

Someone told me this also, that I could be rich and happier if I'm with other one. I just let this passed and I did not reply because being with someone is a matter of choice, the choice to be with him or her for the rest of our lives. It's like an investment that entails a lot of risk, the possibility to fail is possible but we need to deal with it and exert some effort. But what really matter is that we are happy and contented. Though we may have a better life if we have someone better, I believe that money is not everything and it can be earned eventually. Thanks