forgive and forget...

Philippines
August 19, 2012 10:18am CST
I heard a song with a sentence "to forgive is to forget"... when I heard this song I got confused about what does really forgiveness all about? if you say to your self that you forgive someone but you don't forget what happened or what that other person done to you, does it mean that you really don't forgive that certain someone?
4 responses
@Bluedoll (17069)
• Canada
19 Aug 12
They say forgiveness is mostly for ourselves. We feel better and we have better life’s without negativity in our hearts. They say this. I think it is true. The question though of forget, well, though I think if the damage is done and over we can forget too and move on. The only exception and for me this is true is I find that some hurts can be repeated by the same person over and over again as in the case of abuse. For these I can forgive but not forgetting is more of a precaution. What do you think? Though I say I've forgiven it is also tucked away somewhere in memory and I'm not sure that is very good maybe necessary?
19 Aug 12
forgiveness means to let go of the bitter and anger twards the person who done the harm for you ,,you can't simply force your memeory to gorget!! but rather we choose to ignore what they have done wrong for us
@Bluedoll (17069)
• Canada
22 Aug 12
There is a particular person in my past who still can have control over some financial matters in my life. I don't trust or respect the person that much and they have and continue to bad mouth me. I have forgiven her for the past but I want to keep my guard up in the future because I doubt she will change her ways. In that way I can not forget? It is not a nice feeling.
• Philippines
19 Aug 12
Hi joicerey! Forgiveness is a very crucial thing, other people can't even offer it to someone. Some does forgive but does not forget but I'm certain that if you could forgive, you could also forget. They are linked, you can't give one without giving the other. When you forgive, you let that someone know that yes, he did something you don't like but it's okey because you believe that it won't happen again thus forgetting what is done. Let's give everyone a chance. Forgive and forget... You are blessed!
• Philippines
19 Aug 12
I agree... but i know a lot of people saying that they already forgive but as time goes they can't forget what happened and they even recall it again when they had another fight with that same person.
• Philippines
19 Aug 12
they never did really forgive the person then. We should think like wise men who puts the past negative thought in a box. :D
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
19 Aug 12
Forgiving is NOT the same as forgetting. I don't really think humans are capable of forgetting about things, especially things that have been negative or hurt us. This serves a purpose, this is how we learn. If you get burned, then likely you won't touch the stove again when you see a flame right? I think it's more about not USING whatever happened or your perceived hurt AGAINST that other person in the future. You don't forget, certainly, if you've been betrayed or if someone was judgemental, but you expect better from them in the future, afford them an opportunity to prove they've changed (if they claim they have), and trust them again if they seem to be trustworthy. Yes, you may always have a question in the back of your mind but if they seem to be trustworthy, you can say you were able to forgive.
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
19 Aug 12
forgiveness comes with the natural course of time. It is a part of the healing we go through when we are hurting. forgetting is something diofferent. forgetting is letting go of the hurt and taking it from existence. that is not always an easy tak to perform. forgivong is one thing and forgetting is something on a different level.