we need t have a real good talk..

United States
August 23, 2012 10:51pm CST
I dn't want to argue and fight with my daughter. I just want to call her tomorrow and ask her to come over my house. I want to really ask her why she keeps asking can he sleep in my house after I told her before I moved that he could not come here. I need to know why she feels she can ask me but no one else. I also want her to show me where she is sleeping. She has no business sleeping in odd places when my mother said she would allow her to sleep there. this is just crazy and I don't know what to say or how to go about it without hurting her. I will not be bashing her man because I know that will chase her away.
1 person likes this
7 responses
@jazel_juan (15767)
• Philippines
24 Aug 12
well then again maybe she just asked you that hoping you would change your mind
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Aug 12
just to get her t stop asking me I thought about saying yes. but,I know one night will lead to me getting pissed about something.
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
25 Aug 12
You have done just that in the past, Sharon and that is exactly why she keeps asking. You have always given in to this girl just hoping that it will bring peace between the two of you. As you have learned...that just doesn't work. She may not even be doing it deliberatly....it's just a tactic that has always worked for her so by now it is habit. Just stick with "NO" and eventually she will get it. I wouldn't even explain myself to her to be honest. That will just give her more fuel to argue with you about the issue. I think I'd just leave the issue alone. It is YOUR home and she is an adult. You have already told her all that needs to be told and there is no need to continue and justify it. You are right and that is all there is to it. As for where she sleeps, I'd probably talk to her about that but bottom line is that it is HER choice. I would not be guilted into letting him stay even one night.
• Canada
24 Aug 12
That is a very good idea. ee if you can get an honest answer out of her. There really is no reason for her to keep asking, but there are all the reasons in the world for you to say no. you might want to mention that fact to her, and see what she says. If she doesn't know the reasons by now, for you saying no then there is something wrong with her head!
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Aug 12
something has to be wrong because I keep telling her no. this has to stop now because it is messing with my heart.
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
26 Aug 12
I really do feel that you are right to want to have an adult conversation with your daughter. There is really something about this whole story that doesn't add up to me. She has this boyfriend and she is staying with him, so why would they need to crash at your home from time to time. If he is not able to take care of her, why doesn't she make an effort to get a place of her own? I know that you'd mentioned that she would be getting a settlement when she turned eighteen and that should have at least gotten her started with a home of her own (with her boyfriend if that is what she desires).
@deodavid (4150)
• Philippines
25 Aug 12
I don't know how to go about this, i am not a parent but i think that it is just right for you to not want her man at your house i don't know because if it were me or my gals parents they will not let any man of there children stay in there homes, am not thinking of safety issues here just respect.
@Shellyann36 (9616)
• United States
25 Aug 12
Don't you just wish you could press a magic button and our kids would realize how things are and how they should be more responsible, etc. Kids have no idea what we as parents have already done, been through, etc. Just like you not being able to speak your true feelings about her current bf. You know he is no good, why can't she see it? I wish you luck with your conversation.
• United States
24 Aug 12
Just say it like you say it to us. She has money. Why doesn't she get her own place before it's too late. She is going to keep farting around...
• Kenya
24 Aug 12
First, how old is your daughter? Children can be able to detect the weak points in their parents and what your daughter is doing is black mailing you. If she really needs to spend the night with her boyfriend then the boy friend should be able to provide her with the place to do so. You can not make your daughter happy at your expense. I like the fact that you are willing to call her over to talk things over. Do not get emotional when you talk to her just let her know that you love her but you are uncomfortable with the boyfriend spending the night in your house and ask her what she thinks is the best solution without destroying the relationship that you have with her. Just leave the door open that she can come home anytime if she chooses not to live with you, its her choice at the end of the day and all you can do is love her but she should respect you as well.