Will you teach your child to hit back when somebody hits them?

@blinjk (613)
Philippines
August 24, 2012 9:07am CST
One of the problem in school is bullying.My son was always crying when he goes home.I always ask him why?I have said to my son before that he should never fight and that was he was doing. His teacher said that he is quiet in class but his classmates always do something bad to him and he told me that his classmates always hit him.I am really getting angry and I really do not know what to teach him. I really do not want him to cry and cry because he is a boy.I told him to hit them back if they hit him first and fight back if they are wrong.I do not know if I am right in teaching that to him but it works he is not crying anymore and he always tell me if someone is hitting him or fighting him. I really think that children should know how to defend themselves.
1 person likes this
12 responses
• India
25 Aug 12
Defense is the best method to clear up the problems in your life. I think defense is the same method which we have to use over here, but not trying to hit them back. Ask you child to become a good friend with them. So that there will not be any fight. There will be love and peace in every time or make use of a teacher when the children try to hit you kid. So that the teacher will do the proper things and case you kid.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
25 Aug 12
I agree with you let the teacher who is older than your kid to do the right things. And at the same time your child doesn't learn violence. Just make sure to comfort your child because bullying causes psychological problems on children. That's why we should really choose to what kind of environment our kids should be exposed.
@violann (437)
• United States
25 Aug 12
Children like adults have the right to defend themselves. You did the right thing by telling him to hit back. I was raised never to start a fight, but I sure was to finish it if someone started with me. I taught my son the same. The only way these kids are going to stop hitting him is if he fights back, then they'll know not to mess with him any more.
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Aug 12
I think that teaching your kid to fight back isn't right, it's very wrong. You need to teach him that when someone bullies him. He NEEDS to find a teacher or some kind of adult. and you also need to tell him that it's not "taddle-tailing", it's the right thing to do. fighting in general is ALWAYS wrong. There is ALWAYS a more peaceful way of resolving a issue. One other thing you should do though, is find out who these kids parents are, and you need to talk to the other parents, because more then likely, what will happen is the parents will punish the kid and they will then learn, that if they bully people at school, it will find it's way back home and they will be in trouble. And that gets rid of the bully. If you teach your kid to fight back, all that will happen is it will make the bully more angry (in the certain situation). I think that what you should teach your kid is that if, and ONLY IF he can not find any teacher or adult, THEN and ONLY THEN, should he fight back. But before you do any fighting back, he should try to just run away from them.
@blinjk (613)
• Philippines
25 Aug 12
You are right but if they will not fight back also they will be bullied every now and then because not all teachers and parents care.They must learn to fight back so that they will not be bullied all the time and so that those kids who are bullying will also learn how to be afraid.I have noticed that most of the children who are bullied are those who do not fight back and they are bullying kids because they thought that those kids are afraid of them.
@alottodo (3062)
• Australia
16 Sep 12
I don't agree with violence...but I always told my children if some one bully you never accept it you need to stand up for your self and if that mean hitting back do it... the bully will come back again but after a time will give up because he/she will see no fear on you. I know a lot of people will disagree with me but the fact is parents and teachers are becoming too soft and there is not much discipline imposed on the children by teachers and parents...and children have no idea what respect is any more.
• Philippines
25 Aug 12
I have a nephew too in school but we always remind him not to fight back. Good thing he would only tell his teacher and the teacher will give warning to the bad kid. Well, I don't really agree the idea of fighting back. I understand that you only wanted your child to defend himself and stop crying. Your reason is right but your ways is wrong. Your child may think that fighting is fine, and worst he might become a bully too. I suggest you talk to the parents of that kid hitting your child, you can talk to the school's director/principal so they can give a disciplinary action with this bullying kid. Tell them this kid might also hurt other children in school, if that happens, the school will be facing lots of angry parents.
@freedang (320)
• China
25 Aug 12
i think you are doing the right thing.if they hit him first,he absolutely should fight back.there are so many bad guys in this world and you should tell you child that fact.we should answer blows with blows.but the other thing important is that you should teach your child how to make out what is wrong and what is right
@kalav56 (11503)
• India
25 Aug 12
How old is your son/ If he is less than ten you must complain to the authorities.If he is more than ten , he should first protest verbally , assess his opponent and hit him back and but if the opponent is too strong then complain to the teacher .
• Philippines
25 Aug 12
Its nice to teach your children to defend themselves. But it has a negative and positive effects. That'y why sometimes my parent would always tell me to just tell someone who is older that us so that he can teach them the right but not in a violent way.
@salonga (27969)
• Philippines
25 Aug 12
I would not allow my child to be just hurt by anyone. If it happens, I would take time to see the teacher and arrange dialogue with the parents of anyone who hits him to tell them about the problem and so they could give proper discipline to their child. Also I'd tell them I would not tolerate if he hurt my son again. Then I'd tell my child to avoid getting near that child and if he still takes effort to come near and hurt him again, he should then fight back and then report to his teacher that he hit him because he started the trouble.
• United States
25 Aug 12
I have the notion that kids will be kids. Especially when they are of elementary age, which I'm assuming that he is because that's usually the age when kids hit just to hit. I teach my kids to hit back. They are not allowed to start fights, ever, for any reason, but if someone starts with them then I tell them to finish it. That's always what my parents told me, but this is also a different day and age. I, personally feel like if I teach my kids to always tattle or they are always crying then it's grounds for them to get picked on more for being a "tattle tale" or a "sissy". I understand that you don't want him to fight, but at such a young age, kids are going to be kids. Of course when he's in high school you don't want him going around punching kids out for no reason. Teach him that it's not OK to start fights but if someone hits him first, then it's fair game. If you really don't want him hitting, talk to the teachers and the parents of the other children. The way that children behave in school starts at home. Maybe the other kids parents aren't aware of what exactly is going on with their own kids and they need to be disciplined at home. Good Luck with this.
@jpso138 (7844)
• Philippines
25 Aug 12
There is a big difference in hitting back and defending oneself. I think teaching a child to hit back is not good for the child. Perhaps teach the child how to defend himself and to stay away from this bullies and teach him to report any bullying to the teacher. If you teach the child to hit back, this will only makes matters worst and it may result to injuries for your child or the other which eventually will create more problem.
@lampar (7597)
• United States
24 Aug 12
Cool, the child should hit back and defend himself against any attackers if he has the ability and strength to retaliate against any bullying. If not, report to the authority immediately. Never fight or accepting the bullying is never the right solution for those boy who choose to remain passive and not reacted proactively. Bully will see his inaction as an act of weakness and will continue to hit him until hell break loose.