give them money and you can be sure you'll never see them back

Romania
August 25, 2012 10:43am CST
how could I be so stupid and thrust her. one night my so called friend called me telling me that she needs some money urgent...of course I said come and I'll give you the mone you need. only that this happened 5 months ago and I told her I needed those money and I never recieved them back. what kind of friend is this?
3 people like this
23 responses
@adforme (2116)
25 Aug 12
Have you tried to contact her? There really is something to be said about a person that does such a thing. I would say that she is unaware of the generosity you showed her. She probably does not consider you someone that is worthy of at least explaining her situation to. Eventually, it would be something she should do (pay you back) if she wants to be even a quarter of the friend you are to her.
1 person likes this
• Romania
26 Aug 12
yes I tried to call her and explained her that I really needed the money and she didn't care. any way this thing teached me a lesson
@adforme (2116)
27 Aug 12
Sometimes being kind can come back to bite you, but continue to help people in need. For instance, for the hungry; food instead of money, for those needing clothes; clothing if it fits or a trip to goodwill.
@jkct02 (2859)
• Malaysia
25 Aug 12
A friend in need is a friend indeed. That is what  - A friend in need is a friend indeed. That is what a friend is for!
It shows that you are just a 'friend in need' for them - when they need anything, they look for you. But you need not feel sorry for them or for yourself, in fact you should feel glad that you now know who your real friends are. Anyway, the friend that has not repaid you may have other difficulties. As a friend, maybe you should find out from her and be understanding. Helping a friend in difficulty is what a friend is for, don't you think so?
1 person likes this
• Romania
26 Aug 12
thrust me I always tried to understand her and be there for her. but she didn't care when I needed the money( and not to go clubbing)....plus after all those were my money and I shouldn't have to give and explanation to her.
@jkct02 (2859)
• Malaysia
27 Aug 12
I mean, try to understand from her why she has not paid you back, if she is/was one of your close friends. Maybe she has some difficulties that we don't know. You only need to do that if you still think that she is worthy of your friendship.
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
26 Aug 12
That's a friend who was desperate then and was never really your friend. Perhaps she sent those messages to several people and you where the only one who fell for it. This is the main reason why I don't really lend people money. If I feel the need to, I will not lend them the full amount and I always make sure that I'm ready to separate from the amount because most people would really disappear after you helped them. I don't know, perhaps it's desperation, perhaps that's just their true nature. Indeed most would just be near us or our 'friends' because they have 'vested interests'. I don't like these types of people. I don't appreciate being held up and forgotten after the deed is done. I just don't see the whole point of it. If the money isn't ready, then accept and apologize. I don't think friends would resort to violence if the debt isn't paid, right? We just don't want to be ignored really. Have you tried visiting her home? Sometimes they say that they're humiliated for not having the money that's why they'd rather hide. I know that's a terrible excuse but let's give the person the benefit-of-doubt. Have a great mylot experience ahead!
1 person likes this
• Romania
26 Aug 12
I don't lend money to people I don't thrust...and stupid from me to thrust her. anyway at least now I know how much she care about me and what I think
@McCreeper (781)
• United States
25 Aug 12
Ehehe, I suppose your buddy is a freeloader. Have you tried reminding her time and again about it? It wouldn't be the best method, but I think it's good to fight fire with fire before fanning the flames. Hope this method helps.
1 person likes this
• Romania
26 Aug 12
I didn't helpt me with anything. I told her that I really needed the money( and that's true) and she didn't care because she didn't want to have a fight with her father over this thing
• Singapore
25 Aug 12
Yup, sue this kind of person if she still does not want to return your money back. This is called fraud and you should not be afriad to sue her. She does not see you as a friend any more, then what is the thing that is holding you back?
1 person likes this
• Romania
26 Aug 12
I don't want to get to that. it's just that I"m disappointed with the fact that she lied to me telling me one thing and doing another one. I don't care about the money. it's just the fact that she put herself first...I told her that I really need the money and she didn't care because she didn't want to have a fight with her father if he found out that she asked others for money
• United States
25 Aug 12
That happened to me twice and it made me so mad. now I don't worry about it any more because both people who treated me in this manner could never come to me again in life.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
25 Aug 12
Wow, there are so many people out there like this and I am so sorry this happened to you as well. More and more people are scamming others and it is horrible! We had a so called friend staying here with us and he was here for about 2 weeks, stole some things from us and never returned!! Such a horrible thing to do to people that were helping so much. I will never understand these kinds of things. I am glad I don't understand because that means I am NOTHING like them!! I really hope you eventually get your money back and I am really sorry you got scammed like we did!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
25 Aug 12
hi! That's so sad. I had experienced that too. I lend some money to my friend and unfortunately, my money and my friend never came back. I lend her some because I wanted to prove that I could trust her, she prove me wrong. Anyways, there is a purpose why these things happen. Let us hope for the better.
1 person likes this
@Canellita (12058)
• United States
26 Aug 12
Maybe she is selfish and doesn't care, maybe she is irresponsible and doesn't manage her money well enough to pay you back, or maybe, just maybe things are really tough and she just can't repay you. We can't judge your friend not knowing her circumstance, but you have to ask yourself what kind of person you want to be.
• Romania
26 Aug 12
if she told me than I would have understood. thrust me there is nothing wrong and she doesn't have any kind of money problems. she wasn't capable of giving me at least a phone call for my birthday since we spoke last. and it really bothers me
@Canellita (12058)
• United States
26 Aug 12
There is nothing you can do about her or her behavior, but you can decide to be the kind of person who is generous and helps friends in need or you can complain on myLot. You really only have those two choices. Did you give her the money to be nice or in order to gain something from it? Her personal failing should have nothing to do with you and your own character. You can decide you have learned a lesson and don't give her anymore money or you can be a good person and help those in need whenever you can.
• Romania
27 Aug 12
I gave her the money in order to help her and not wating for anything in exchange and I would do it anytime if I knew the person deserved it. I hate the fact that I'm being so stupid sometimes helping others and I'm the one suffering afterwards. as I said I don't care about the money... it bothered me the fact that she lied to me
@MsTickle (24983)
• Australia
2 Sep 12
What you need to do is get your money back and teach this person a lesson. Contact her father and tell him the story especially the bit about not wanting her father to know she was borrowing from others. She knows she was doing wrong and she needs to learn that you cannot cheat, lie to and steal from others. Do not weaken, it's no longer about the money. It's now about revenge!
• Romania
2 Sep 12
maybe I tought about that. but I think the best lesson that I would teach her is to make her see that I'm different from her. if she was capable to make me have a fight with my father ...than I"m not going to make her have a fight with hers. what's for sure is the fact that I can't see her as a friend anymore. she was definitely someone special to me...but not anymore
@MsTickle (24983)
• Australia
2 Sep 12
OK, look at it this way. This person was a very good friend who cheated you and lied to you. Your reaction is to stop being friends. You have enabled her to get away with treating you badly. If you really cared for this friend you would not accept this situation. Apart from anything else, her father needs to know. Forget the money. Forget about her getting into a fight with her father. There is a principle involved here, you are in the middle of it and it's up to you to fix it. Do nothing and there are no consequences for her and she will probably do it again to someone else.
• Romania
2 Sep 12
she will do it again even if I tell her father. she became so spoiled that she always gets out well from the bad things she does. I don't want to have anything else to do with her. I mean I love my friends and I only ask for one thing in exchange...to be sincere to me. she wasn't...and same as she lied to me she lies to her parents. and given the fact that she is their daughter I'm sure that even if I tell them she'll come up with something and she'll make me look bad in front of them. I simply don't want to waste my energy in trying to get revenge over her. the tables turn one way or another...and if she chooses to leave her real friends and prefers her drinking and clubbing companions than ...what more can I do
@daDaize (215)
• Austria
26 Aug 12
Depends on the money amount given. If it's a Holy-Macaroni big sum (150+) or jst a itsi-bitsy sum (30
• Romania
26 Aug 12
I don't really care about the money. it bothered me that she lied to me telling me one thing and doing a totally different one. and it also boethered me the fact that she didn't care when I told her that I really needed the money
@daDaize (215)
• Austria
26 Aug 12
I know what you mean&I felt the same...but the problem is that even if we want to know why we were being lied to or why she did that..They Culprit will never say. Mine is for example avoiding and ignoring me.
• India
27 Aug 12
Hi friend, sad to hear about this, some friends are in this sort, they can do anything to collect money from us and forget about to repay the money, don't worry keep distance from this kind of persons and here after be careful
• Romania
29 Aug 12
I gave her a message yesterday on facebook telling her that I want my money back and that I don't want to have anything else to do with her and guess what...she didn't have the decency to reply at least.
• Indonesia
27 Aug 12
Oh well, I feel bad for you. Have you called your friend and ask her about your money? You should contact her, and if possible come and talk directly to her place. Tell her that you need that money back for some urgent thing. Goodluck
• Romania
27 Aug 12
I told her and she didn't care. I needed the money to go to my parents as I had no money left and I tought what the he** after all those were my money. so I called her and she told me she was in the train and she couldn't call her father so that he would send me the money to my bank account as she didn't want to pick a fight with him over the fact that she is borrowing money from others. so she put her on the first plan and she left me with no money and not being able to go and see my parents and I had to call other people to help me. now tell me what kind of friend is this?
• Vietnam
26 Aug 12
I'm sorry to hear that. 3 years ago, I had a friend and he said he need a big money to repay. And i had sold my car and gave him all my money. Then, he escaped and not return. Now, when i think about it, i regret to trust him so much ....
• Brazil
26 Aug 12
That's so sad. My dad in the past put his name as guarantor for a so called friend and he didn't pay the debt and my dad had to honor the debt and it was a big amount of money too, almost an apartment. But, he was able to work again and build everything again. Maybe this is one of the reason why I never trust in someone 100% since I was a kid.
@pahak627 (4198)
• Philippines
26 Aug 12
I agree with you. It happened to me several times. When we ask repayment of what they borrowed they will immediately evade us. But not all people are like that. Some will come back and pay you back. It just happened that you met a person who can not be trusted. The best that we can do is not to come near people who don't know how to pay.
• Romania
26 Aug 12
the problem is that I knew her 6 or 7 years ago and I considered her my best friend. stupid from me. now I realised how wrong I was
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
10 Jan 13
This kind of person is not a friend at all. I know that I have a friend that seems like she is always asking for money but she doesn't really do anything to make money of her own. Thus, I will no longer loan any more money to her. My other really close friend on the other hand, he has never paid me back in terms of cash, however, he is my personal mechanic so I know that when he gets a loan from me I will end up getting the money back from him because he will always knock it off the labor costs for my car being repaired. I really do think of him being a true friend and I think that he would go to the ends of the world for me.
@garson (886)
• United States
24 Sep 12
Well, you are not the only one. Somehow this has happened to others and many more will experience this. Now, you know that she is not a good friend. Things could change, who knows. I still say this, bless your heart for helping a friend in time of need. Next time, you need to decide what is more important. Helping can come in a different way.
@natliegleb (5184)
• India
26 Aug 12
its because he is using for sake of only money,try to talk to him next time around quite rudely and i am sure you will get it back
@Tina30219 (35185)
• Onaway, Michigan
26 Aug 12
I know what you are talking about me and my husband have friends that owe us 1,000 and still have not paid us back and they also still have some of our stuff as well. I hate people that are like this.
@WakeUpKitty (8706)
• Netherlands
26 Aug 12
It's sad but I have to admit I have exactly the same experiences throught the past 25 years! As soon as you give in and try to help someone with money the friendship is over. No matter how short or long you know each other or how close you were or how much you shared. So don't give money anymore. No matter if that friend is calling you a bad friend or bad person, cruel or selfish. The fact is these kind of friends will dump you if they can't get (easily) what they need. They don't care to lie about it (where they need it for or to give it back). Only give money if you are sure you don't need it at all.