What makes a discussion good?

United States
August 25, 2012 3:00pm CST
Many people here want a good discussion. I read many members complaint about the lack of 'interesting' topics (myself included). So what requirements do you have for a 'good discussion? I like when a topic makes me think before answering. My boyfriend says I'm VERY opinionated, but I had a really good debate last week about politics with an old friend. It went on ALL day. In the end, we agreed to disagree, but we understood one another's reasons for choosing the party we did. It was similar to myLot-I believe myLot is the cyber version of a real-life conversation. Both sides have to give-it cannot be all take. Be honest-how many of you respond back in your discussion? Wouldn't you be frustrated if someone began talking to you, but walked away? Of course! Wouldn't you be annoyed if you asked a question, but only received the simplest of answers? I know I would. But don't brush off those lazy people yet-there are some tricks to continue your conversations. Interact with your responders-ask questions, like How did you come to that conclusion? or What makes you think that? or just a simple Why? Draw them in, and just keep chatting. Above all, one should respect others. Unless someone is deliberately causing a problem, DON'T give them a negative rating. That is NOT why it was designed. Make friends here, be patient with members whose native language is NOT English. And most of all, have FUN. So let's hear what makes a discussion interesting for YOU.
7 people like this
16 responses
@Hatley (161713)
• Garden Grove, California
25 Aug 12
hi scorpiobabes for me a discussion interests me when something in it strikes me as having that similar problem., then I can at least make an intelligent stab at responding. we do have to give and take,back and forth like we are talking to friends over the back fence.,one talks then the other we answer each o ther, ,we make new comments and others come and join in and it becomes a real 'discussion with back and forth flow of input and output.Then it really becomes fun as we get to know one other.
• United States
26 Aug 12
Why did the neighbor from Home Improvement pop into my head? I guess when you mentioned talking over the fence. I feel closer to some of my friends here at myLot than I do in real life. Here, one can get a fresh perspective on things that trouble you, usual without fear of being ridiculed, like my discussion where I begged for help with mascara. Everyone was so nice and helpful, and I learned a lot too! Where do you get your ideas though-you're quite prolific here.
• India
26 Aug 12
Hatley aunty what is saying in this discussion I think he is asking how to make interesting discussion. Am I right?
• United States
26 Aug 12
fantabulus, Yes, that is my question, so you are correct. Do you have any ideas that you'd like to share with us?
• United States
25 Aug 12
Anything that can keep me reading till the last word is good enough for me. I does not have to be about politics because I will hit the back button. I stay far away from posts like this.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Aug 12
Is there a particular reason for not wanting to respond to a political discussion?
• Philippines
26 Aug 12
Because things get heated immediately. Sometimes, politics involves emotions (of the extreme kind) and not ideas. Some people stick to their political views blindly and do not allow other ideas from people who are coming from other political end. It’s arguing with no resolution in sight. Sometimes, you just want to give up because they are people but they held to their belief and who refuse to back down (not that it is a bad thing) and carrying the discussion with no good argument. You just left exhausted proving a simple point. Politics is sometimes not an objective arena.
• United States
26 Aug 12
jeanneyvonne, Not everyone is like that though. During the last presidential election, I learned more from some of the political discussions about other candidates than I learned from their commercials or the debates. I also learned to steer clear of some folks because of their beliefs-they were TOO fanatical.
@mysdianait (64082)
• Italy
25 Aug 12
Some days I have all day to be here and can get involved in back and forth exchanges and those are the best times. Other times I see a really interesting topic, leave a response and nothing comes back from the user who started it. Then, what could have been a good discussion, becomes a disaster I enjoy discussing with those who read what I have said, and comment to those words, not with those who are just here to post anything that comes into their mind at the time with barely nothing relevant to my response or comment Some days I enjoy a 'heavy' topic while others I would skip those and would prefer something easier. That depends on my mood at the time though and does not mean that there are no good discussions here. 'Good' is opinionable and depends on each individual. I will never enjoy a political topic but I do appreciate that there are some brilliant discussions in those interests. Just not my cup of tea.
• United States
26 Aug 12
That's interesting that you do not enjoy a political discussion-Gifts said that earlier too. I'm pretty much open to any topic, but my responding to them depends on my mood at the time. If I feel very strongly, I'll just shut the browser down, rather than getting into a cyber spitting match. I do have some interests where I'm quite comfortable responding to, but have no real desire to begin a discussion. Those can be quite fun. And there's times when I have a burning question, like the one that popped into my head earlier. Fortunately, it was just as I was finishing up a reply, so I didn't forget it like I usually do. Do you start more discussions, or do you prefer to reply to someone else's?
@GardenGerty (92150)
• Marion, Kansas
25 Aug 12
One of the most interesting ones I read today was about a vacation to Disney in Florida. The OP talked about catching Amtrak to go, and the good accommodations and the weather and everything. It was clear she had saved for her family vacation but it was also clear that she explored several options. I like a discussion that relates true experiences, and lets me get there in my head and share them. You are so right, we should have fun. I also like it when I learn about totally new things that other people do or eat. I imagine myself in their home country. I could start a list of what I do not like, but that would not be fair. Just because I do not like something does not mean someone else will dislike it. I do not like negative people, but fortunately I do not seem to meet many of them here.
• United States
26 Aug 12
That sounds like a really interesting story. I know that my stories are from my own life experiences-I can't even begin to recall how many times I was chided because my life resembled a soap opera! Thank goodness those days are past me. It's nice when someone shares their life experiences-I learned about different tropical fruits available only in specialty grocery stores in the US-I've even tried a few! I'd have never learned if I hid under a rock! How do come up with your ideas?
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (92150)
• Marion, Kansas
26 Aug 12
I mostly tell people about my life. I have to be selective when it involves other people. For instance, I work with the adult disabled. I can talk about that in general, but I cannot specifically talk about one client or post pictures of them. I can post a link to the facebook page they set up, though, and I may do that, although I generally do not post links. I think if we are interested in our own life we can post interesting discussions for others. I have always enjoyed my interactions with you. Where does your user name come from? Mine was a clown character I used to perform as.
• United States
26 Aug 12
I recall, you changed jobs to go back to working with adults. By disabled-do you mean physically or mentally? Do you find the work rewarding? I have done so many different jobs over my life that I can see why I never got ahead-most of the companies I was employed by are closed! I am beginning to think I'm bad luck-I've bought cars at three dealers; all of them are closed now! But I'm prepared to become a licensed real estate salesperson-it's something I've been interested in for some time (since 2008, when my own home was listed), and I'm pretty good at sales. I'm in a new (to me) area, so that might be my only challenge. My user name is a combination of my zodiac sign and a high school nickname I was given; my avatar is my pitbull Floyd. You used to perform as a clown where? What got you into doing that?
1 person likes this
@KOSTAS499 (1625)
• Greece
25 Aug 12
I believe it has to be different and of course interesting. Then you can write an intersteing response. But even if it is ordinary and I can think of something to respond then I will respond. As for rating, I don't really use it. Sometimes I give a best response, that's all.
• United States
26 Aug 12
Are you finding enough content to respond to then? There was a time that I found subjects were wanting; nothing held my interest. I took a step back for a time, but something keeps drawing me back! I think that the ratings system is TOO simple, and too easy to be abused. I've lost several of my friends here that were harassed endlessly and left as a result. Perhaps we should only be allowed to select a Best Response.
@KOSTAS499 (1625)
• Greece
26 Aug 12
Sometimes it's very hard to answer, especially when a topic is something like "I had a bad day". " my dog is sick". What can you say about that? Just repeat yourself everytime. I like topics that a mylotter posts(Porcospino) which make my mind travel and...write. I have told her that her topics are very interesting. Some Mylotters seem to follow a certain path. Some talk about their lifes, some about travels. Even though we are here for the payment, I sometimes find it hard to answer. I push myself but still it is too hard. I answer more than I post discussions. I try to find something interesting to post...and profitable of course. Which means a topic that will get a lot of responds. I have a lot of photos, so I started uploading some of them and they get some good responses. Maybe it's my "path".
@KOSTAS499 (1625)
• Greece
26 Aug 12
I don't care about the rating system, maybe I am wrong but I don't care.
@eagletrek2 (5017)
• Kingston, New York
26 Aug 12
Hi I like differnt discussion since I'm new here I been testing to see what people like from something wired I put something kind of funny in my discussion area this is what I put in do fish fart? I all so put that in the search and what came up was some do and some do not herring fish do that how they talk to each other no joke I did get some respond with that but what everybody on my lot want is way to make money those are the topic that will get the higher responds ok have a good day
• United States
26 Aug 12
Hi eagletrek2, Did you continue a back and forth with the people who did respond to your discussion? That's actually quite funny-how did you come up with that idea? So what do you think will be a really popular topic? Not everyone is here for the money-I used to be all about it, but now it's more of a relaxation thing for me. I get to be myself, chat about things I'm passionate about, and make new friends. Now please-which fish farts the loudest? And what country sponsored such a study?
• Spain
26 Aug 12
I just had to go looking for this - anything to do with farting grabs my interest, and I've never really thought of fish as farters. It was a 2003 study conducted by Canada - who I would have thought may have been too genteel to study farts, but you never know - and the UK. No surprise there. I think we corner the ]market on flatulence conversations. It's all here: : http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2003/11/1110_031110_herringfarts.html : And there's even a robot to record the sounds. It doesn't say which is the loudest, but the red grouper and the toadfish are the most frequent farters: : http://news.sciencemag.org/sciencenow/2012/03/scienceshot-robot-records-fish.html?ref=hp : You asked what makes a good discussion - this one is shaping up into a great discussion! Who'd have thought we'd have gone from discussion guidelines to fish farts in the space of a few hours?
• United States
26 Aug 12
Thanks Sandra for posting the links! Now that's quite funny-I'd have expected the US to be behind such an important issue, but you are saying that the UK has cornered the market on farting conversations. And we're all (I hope!) adults here-it IS farting. What's next-who produces the most ear wax? This is a prime example of how I operate in real life-I can start out with such a dry topic, and by the end of the conversation, we're in a fit of giggles about someone who was walking around the neighborhood talking to plants! I just get distracted by gems that I hear (like eagletrek's fish farting comment) and I'll run with it!
1 person likes this
@natliegleb (5187)
• India
26 Aug 12
it all depends on the amount of research going into it along with how interesting it is for sure.so keep learning more and posting
• United States
26 Aug 12
Do you think most members here research a topic before posting? I know that I don't. My topic ideas are either burning questions I need help with; personal experience; or my sharing an opinion of mine. That's not to say that I'm not listening to others-I can glean a lot of information and lean something new. I think that if everyone was a bit more open to new ideas, things could be interesting, that's for sure.
• United States
26 Aug 12
It's such a shame that so many DON'T understand that you have to continue to care for your discussions, much as one needs to do with a garden, pet or child; it needs to be cared for. I think many (including this poster) think that they will earn money for every response; myLot pays more for the interaction and thoughts that go into the entire discussion. I haven't yet encountered a culture where everyone walked around and said to one another, "The sky is orange because I said so", and then walked away, even while the other person is offering their opinion. Sadly, those are the people who seem to complain the most-they don't want to hear anything but what they want to hear. I like that myLot is quite casual-one can meet other members from a different culture or background, but without the expense of traveling around the country (US) or the world.
1 person likes this
@ARIES1973 (9433)
• Legaspi, Philippines
25 Aug 12
When I was new in this site, I have a very little idea of how things work. But because of reading several discussions from our friends, I discovered several things that are not included in the FAQs. I make it a point to make a reply on response to my discussions. Although I am not expecting too much for others to do the same, I have read something about it from a certain post. I also noticed other members who are very active in responding to the posts and I am happy for them. There are also times that I can not respond even to my friends' discussion not because I don't want to but because I have no knowledge about the matter. Well, generally, I am interested in every discussion especially those who would give me additional knowledge on about anything.
• United States
26 Aug 12
aries1973-your choice of screen name is interesting-my sister was born under the Aries zodiac sign in 1973! Why would you consider not answering a discussion because you're not as familiar with the subject? I'd try asking some questions, try to learn something. I'm opposite of you-I EXPECT people to respond, and unless it warrants it, with more than a few words. Each discussion is supposed to be a give-and-take, not too dissimilar from a real-life conversation. I wish more people understood that! I'm happy to hear that you're enjoying your friends' discussions; do you try to respond to other people too?
@KOSTAS499 (1625)
• Greece
26 Aug 12
Should we answer to the responses we get in our topics?
• United States
26 Aug 12
Kostas- Yes, we should. If you're in a discussion with live person, don't you continue the conversation back and forth? It's the polite thing to do-I'm answering you back (and I think aries1973 will also do so when they notice your response).
@Sandra1952 (6052)
• Spain
26 Aug 12
I also like a discussion that sets me thinking, or triggers a memory or an experience that may be helpful to the OP or move the discussion forward. As I like helping people, I can't resist discussions where I know I can offer sound advice. For example, there are a lot of discussions about Postloop and Helium, and as I do well on both sites, I always feel I can contribute. I love it when several people come into the same comment box, but some OPs get annoyed about that, so if they say anything, I don't go back to their discussions. I never go back to people who don't come back to comment - I feel like I'm talking to myself instead of having a conversation. I enjoy off the wall discussions, where I can allow my silly side free rein, and I appreciate an OP with a good sense of humour. Put simply, a good discussion for me is one where the OP takes the time to craft the discussion, rather than just posting anything to increase the numbers next to their name.
• United States
26 Aug 12
What are Postloop and Helium? Social networking sites. I've never heard of them-could you share more? I LOVE when people jump in another's comment box-it really livens things up, don't you think? Any OP that gets offended just doesn't understand the nuances of a conversation, and in essence, that is what myLot is-a giant cyber conversation! I enjoy the wacky discussions, the ones that really make me think. In 2007 & 2008, there were several people who were great at starting those types of discussions (look under the topic Panda Spanking; the older discussions are the best!); unfortunately, most of them have taken their leave of myLot. What I don't like are those that are rude, or only give a one or two word response. I'll ask them a question (as I did earlier) to try to draw them out, and give them a chance to redeem themselves. Some do, but most don't. It's their loss.
@riyauro (6431)
• India
25 Aug 12
I know what you are meaning. Now I wanted to put a discussion on how long do you thing about a response before writing it here. For me , it takes me seconds. I am like a balloon full of information and when open, you see how air comes out of the balloon. Likewise when i see a discussion topic ideas and information starts flowing out. To tell you honestly I respond back to my responds. I was just checking my responds where i can respond back and I did some. I want to know what reply I get on my responses. Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful day ahead.
• United States
26 Aug 12
Do you find it difficult responding back to some people? There's times that it's almost as if they ended their side, and I'm hard-pressed to find a suitable reply.
• Australia
29 Aug 12
"I am like a balloon full of information and when open, you see how air comes out of the balloon." What an interesting insight into your style. Lash
@512771751 (1096)
• China
29 Aug 12
I always thought about such question before. But many friends told me that I only make some discussions that I really like and interest in. Tha's enough.
• United States
29 Aug 12
It is a good idea to create discussions within interests that you know and are comfortable responding in. But sometimes by going outside your comfort zone and trying something new, you can gain knowledge. But by staying safe, you're restricting your potential earnings. I've found that I meet more interesting people by visiting Hot Discussions to learn what's going on outside my little circle.
• United States
28 Aug 12
I think generating over twenty responses would be considered a good discussion ;-)
• United States
29 Aug 12
But how do you think a discussion can warrant more than responses? Doesn't it need to have a good topic that would interest you? How would you go about creating a topic that makes someone want to respond? By answering with a single sentence, you're less likely to have people want to respond back. Just a touch of advice.
• United States
26 Aug 12
I like discussions where people speak with passion and respect. If we can start talking about things that really interest us it makes so much easier to keep the discussion going. One with many different sides, but is not antagonistic. Sometimes that part is the the hard part. People take offense and then the discussions get nasty and boring. Give me a good, I never thought of that, and wow, what a great idea, how can I expand on it.... those types of discussions are the most interesting for me. Just my humble 2 cents.
• United States
26 Aug 12
And your two cents are worth a lot more here! I like how you're looking at all sides of a comment, yet not being judgmental. You're correct-sometimes our passions run high, and people take offense; I think that those that do forget that we're in cyberspace, and can't get all the body language and lingual nuances we get from a face-to-face discussion. Like you, I want a discussion that I can tear into, offer suggestions, or best yet, expand on it to give it a second (or third or fourth) life! THOSE are the really exciting ones! I'm glad you stopped by-your comment is greatly appreciated!
@elmiko (6640)
• United States
26 Aug 12
i would say a good discussion is one that is not started by the average mylotter. it can also bring up some interesting points that isn't usually said by the masses. An intellectually stimulating discussion is also a plus.
• United States
26 Aug 12
Hello elmiko, thanks for stopping by. I was confused though by your comment suggesting that a good discussion is not started by the average member here. I've seen great discussions started by people from all levels here. I do agree that it should be stimulating-I want to be challenged and to learn something.
@Jshean20 (14374)
• Canada
26 Aug 12
I think a discussion becomes good when a lot of people respond with very different bits of advice or opinions on the topic. I find that these discussions are ongoing and people come back to argue their point (in a mature way of course) and it almost becomes like a debate.
• United States
26 Aug 12
That's so true, likening a discussion to a debate. It gets exciting when it begins to take on a life of its own; I haven't had any of those for a while. Even better when an entirely new idea is created-thoughts just keep flowing, ideas are shared, and perhaps a life is changed. But you brought up a key point: being mature. I think sometimes different cultures misunderstand one another-at least here, we can learn to break down those obstacles and learn from one another.
• Australia
26 Aug 12
For me it is something that engages one or more of the following: my values, my sense of humour, my imagination, my knowledge/skills base, especially when there is a lot of discussion going on within the overall discussion. What frustrates me more than anything here is what you pick up on, people not coming back to comment, so that there's no chance for an actual exchange of views, and those who give bombastic oneliners with no justification for their pontifications. The whole discussion just tends to dekay. Lash.
• United States
26 Aug 12
Hi Lash, I've learned a lot from your discussions, especially how your political system works. It's quite different from mine (USA versus Australia), yet there are some inherit similarities. Humor does go a long way in easing tensions-I just wish more people used it! Sometimes I'm hesitant to reply to some discussions, but I'll try to, especially if there's still a question in my mind or I need clarification. But it's those that DON'T answer, yet are quick to complain when they don't receive any earnings frustrate me the worst. I try to steer clear of them! I'm slowly finding people here who interest me, and I tend to follow their discussions for a while.