Is it correct, proposing a girl who is expecting only friendship from a person?

India
August 26, 2012 11:43am CST
I have seen a boy and a girl who are best friends. But the main thing is boy had feelings on her but he didn't revealed them. In the course of time he proposed her, from the very next minute they stopped talking each other as she answered "NO". She wanted him as a friend. So, I am asking Is proposing a girl who is expecting only friendship is wrong..??
1 person likes this
6 responses
• United States
26 Aug 12
I, personally don't think that anyone should risk proposing marriage to someone if it's not something that is confirmed that both people want. A lot of men don't propose until after a time of at least dating the other person. It takes a lot of guts to propose to someone that you are not even in a relationship with or someone that doesn't even know that the other party has feelings for them. It was very spontaneous and brave of him, but he should have known that there was a strong possibility that she would have said no especially, since they were only friends. So, is it wrong? No, I mean there's no "right" or "wrong" rule about it. But if you ask someone to marry you who is really just a friend and there's not even a relationship involved to begin with, he will take the risk of rejection and embarrassment if he gets turned down.
• India
26 Aug 12
Welcome MsControversy.. You are right about the discussion. In my friends case their relation ended with rejection. But ofcourse he proposed and she has no feelings on him,I don't think it is the right decision to cut off all their friendship which is been very good for years.
1 person likes this
@knicnax (2234)
• Philippines
26 Aug 12
unless the girl already has a boyfriend, then she has every reason to be mad
• India
26 Aug 12
Hi knicnax.. I have posted this post as I am mutual friend of both. So to my extent she has no boyfriend. I agree with you if she has a boyfriend, she has every right to reject him.
• India
27 Aug 12
Hi friend, yes, of course it is wrong. If the girl is not interested as well as don't have any feelings with that guy, he don't force her to love, they may continue as good friends if they both are interested with it. Love is not a forcing thing and we can't get it by forcing. The guy may try to win over her heart with his activities, may be the girl will get some feelings with him in the future with his activities, so he must continue his friendship and try to win over her heart, if she is not interested and don't get any feelings with him forever, then he must forget about his love and concentrate with other things
• India
27 Aug 12
Hi vidhyaprakash.. You are in your way. But here the situation is he is not forcing her to love. Due to his proposal she left him forgetting all his 3 yrs friendship. I think that was not the right way to respond to that proposal.
@else22 (4319)
• India
27 Aug 12
No,I don't think it would be right.You may have a feeling for a girl who is your ne of your good and reliable friends,but how would you know what she feels about you?How would you know whether she likes you to be her life partner?Being a friend is one thing and being a husband is another.Marriage is far more serious a business than just friendship.If a boy wants to have a girl who is his friend,he should wait for her to reveal her feelings for him.Girls are generally shy by nature.They are not likely to disclose their feelings so soon,but if the boy proposes them,it may have an adverse effect on their friendship.
• India
27 Aug 12
Hi else22. Yes, you are right for some cases. But most of the relations start with friendship. Of-course I go with you in the case of a husband and a friend. But being with a person for many years make us to know everything about him/her. So that it will be easy to understand them and this decreases chance of conflicts between mindsets. So i think that girl has done a wrong thing rejecting him.
@obe212003 (2302)
• Philippines
27 Aug 12
The best foundation I think for any relationship starts with friendship, more so if intimately. I guess we can be more open and be ourselves without much pretenses as in cases of the regular courting process, lol! If in case, the proposal as in the case above you mentioned, there would be time needed to assess things a s they are and soon realize the level of friendship or affection one has to offer.
• India
27 Aug 12
Hi obe212003. Yes, Friendship makes people more open as you told. If the girl thinks in the same way they both will be together even now. But due to the feeling that he Cheated her in the face of friendship she left away. There the main reason lies. If she thinks as you said that will be great and their relation will be fine.
@gmkumar08 (396)
• India
26 Aug 12
Well,i frankly feel that there's nothing wrong in it.If the boy truly loves the girl,then he must tell her about his love.But,the problem here is,the girl doesn't have any feelings for him and the boy does,right??There are two things that can be done : Wait,coz one day she'll finally realize it or you can just apologize her and be friends again.I prefer second option,coz,whatever it might be,either friendship or love,if it is true,then the fact is that you can't stay away from each other.
• India
26 Aug 12
Hi gmkumar.. Ya, By following the second option there can be contact between them either.
@Jatelo2 (166)
• Nairobi, Kenya
26 Aug 12
Not really. The fact that these were not relatives and yet maintained a closer relationship, is sufficient evidence of a mutual attraction. The fact that the boy was told No did not mean that the girl meant it. Tell him to 'press harder until it hurts' (this isn't literal)and the results will be encouraging. I believe that the best person to propose to is that girl you have befriended for a long time.