Does religion play an important role in the relationship?

@sharryCD (121)
China
August 27, 2012 3:11am CST
I have a friend who recently broke up with her boyfriend. Actually they had a wonderful time and led a harmonious relation. The girl was a Christian, bacasue of this, that boy became interested in this religion and wanted to enjoy more similariry with that girl. However, that boy chose another religion at last and even pursuaded the girl into believing that. Then their relationship was ended. Last month, the girl got to know a very surprising news. That boy told his parents he would not seek a girlfriend in the future as he has no interest in it. I think this is about the whole story. For me, i can not really understand why they care about so much. Can true love conqure everything? Need we find a partner who has the same religion as us? If you were in this kind of situation, what would you do?
3 people like this
25 responses
27 Aug 12
Well, certainly, the relationship between the boyfriend and the gilfriend is based on discussing. But I keep in mind a quote : "Telling someone your beliefs is nothing more than a thought, while trying to force a person to have the same beliefs as you is frustration" I don't think this should be such a thing to get stuck at in a relationship, but this can be considered as a test of love between the two ... I don't think I would change my opinion on a person if I find out that he has a different religion than me (I am not religious at all, but I follow Christ) but if I am thinking at someone from my family or my friends...
1 person likes this
@sharryCD (121)
• China
27 Aug 12
Thanks Jeffery. Then will you consider finding a partner who does not follow Jesus?
27 Aug 12
Yes, sharry, and try to show Christ's love with her, but not forcing her to go to my church or etc. You know, maybe she would not follow Jesus because she has bad opinions on His "followers". So she would see how I behave and maybe she would mind changing her opinions, at the least :).
• Greece
28 Aug 12
Religion is very important in a close relationship, most especially in marriage. It is not a good idea to marry someone who cares deeply about a different religion to you. You must consider the complications that arise with bringing up children, and socially,but if the religion is just nominal I don't think it would make such a difference. If you marry someone of a different race you can adapt to their culture but if you truly believe in one religion you cannot adapt to another.
@andy77e (5165)
• United States
28 Aug 12
First off, does your religion matter to you. If your religion matters to you, then you should follow what it teaches. Christianity for example, the Bible says very specifically that Christians should not be married, or connected, to non-Christians. If you are Christian, then you can't be dating a person who is not. If you do, then according to the Bible, you will forfeit G-d's blessing. It would be like praying "Lord, I believe in you, and I trust you, but I am not going to do what you say!" Do you think G-d will bless such a person? Of course not. Secondly, religion is more than believing in G-d. It is directions for how to live your life. Everything will be shaped by your religion. How you raise your kids. How you love your spouse. How you conduct your business. How you spend your money. Everything will be affected. So if you and your spouse have two different ways of living, what happens when you marry? You end up fighting and arguing, and being angry with each other about all kinds of things. The bottom line answer to your question is, No. True love can not conquer everything. It simply can not. No matter how much I may love a girl, no matter how much she may love me... if she is walking south, and I am walking north, no amount of love in the world will keep us together. If she is going up, and I am going down, nothing will prevent us from being in different places. In order for two people to end up in the same place, we must walk the same way. The same is true in our beliefs and life. You can't get to the same spot, if you believe opposite things.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
28 Aug 12
Very well said...
• India
27 Aug 12
Religion is not a great thing in true love. In fact, if our love is real and sincere we don't give more importance to the caste and religion. Some persons want their beloved persons to change to their religion to prove their love, but this kind of expectation is wrong, if your love is real, then why don't you change your caste? If a person give more importance to the caste and the religion, then s/he may find a proper person in their religion for their marriage and fall in love with them. The concept of religion is to integrate the people, but some people don't know the real concept and splitting the people in the name of religion. There is nothing wrong in inter caste marriages, if both of the lovers are in real love and interested in marrying each other without giving importance to the religion, but some persons force other person to change their religion for their marriage, this kind of activity is wrong, due to this forcing activity some loves are broken. If your beloved person is willingly convert his/her religion to prove their real love with his/her willingness, then there is nothing wrong in it, otherwise no one have the ability to force a person to change his religion without his permission. For me religion is not a factor in the real love and your beloved person have the ability to accept you with your religion, if s/he is in sincere love with you.
1 person likes this
@sharryCD (121)
• China
27 Aug 12
Thanks Vidhyaprekash-2. What you said makes sense. Religion is just an excuse when we are not in sincere love with a person; but it is nothing in front of true love. I am also a religion person, but i don't force myself to find a partner who has the same belief. If we say there is destiny, how can we deny the possibility that GOD arranges us to marry a person with different religion? We can not define a person only based on his belief.
1 person likes this
@Paper_Doll (2375)
• Philippines
28 Aug 12
In my opinion, people choose a religion because they think that it is right. Therefore, if you believe that it is right, you believe that its teachings are correct and what God truly requires from us. If you join a certain religion and you have no intention of following its teachings and beliefs, I don't understand why you still have to be with that religion when in fact it is your choice. Well, unless you are just pushed to be with that religion. But if we really take religion out of this, and would just believe in what the bible says, it is clearly said that we should only marry in the Lord. Meaning only to someone that is a true Christian. If you believe in God and His Words, then you will know that God is above all and your obedience is important to him. It is in fact more important that sacrifice and offerings (1 Sam 15:22). He did not gave us the bible to make us suffer but to serve as our guide. The reason the world we are at present is so hard to deal with, it is because more people are becoming more disobedient and no longer consider the Word of God in their lives. And just to remind, our first parents Adam and Eve disobeyed God so they have to live a hard life outside of the garden of Eden. So if someone thinks that that bible teachings are wrong, I am definitely sure that God won't feel happy about it. I can't really give specific advice since I do not know what type of Christian your friend belongs and what religion his boyfriend is joining. If I will be in your friend's situation, I would definitely choose God's love. He knows what is best for me and so I am not going to disobey his teachings. Religion plays a vital role in every relationship. It will affect not only the relationship between husband and wife but as well as their children in the long run because confusions may arise. Like when the children asked them Who is God and they couple have different beliefs in this, that would definitely create confusions with their kids. And what more if the other parent do not believe in the bible? Talking about true love. If they truly love each other, from the very beginning that they found themselves being in different religions, they should have studied the bible together, with open mind, to see which of the two does not contradict what the bible teachings. I am sure that the bible has the answers if they have truly search for it. It could have even saved their relationship.
@sharryCD (121)
• China
28 Aug 12
Thanks, Paper-Doll. I really appreaciate what you have shared with me. But do you think it is resonable for us to regard others who do not hold the same religion as a bad or unkind person? Secondly, is there any possibility for GOD to arrange us to marry a person with different religious background? Should a Christian get married to another Christian? God asks us to love one another, here, does it mean we should only love our sisters or brothers in the church?
• Philippines
28 Aug 12
I don't regard other people as bad or unkind just because they don't have the same religion as mine. But I always remember that all the people around me, in one way or another, may influence me. This is very true and sometimes, you won't even realize that they have already influenced you. So I take a lot of care in dealing with others. Even our parents would say, choose your friends. And I think they are right. Your friends can greatly influence your manners and behavior. Let me share a true story that I have experienced. I once noticed that a 'sister' is being too close to a guy who also works in the same office. They share the same seat in the bus, eat together, walk out of the building together and go out on a movie together (only the two of them). People around her would usually tease her, and they love what is going on between the two. They would in fact advice her to just go on with the relationship and forget that what she is doing may hurt her in the future. Because they say that, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG IN BEING IN LOVE. And so she continued with her relationship with him. But later on found out that the guy already has someone in the province and he wouldn't want to give up the other girl because he loves her. He said he is just afraid to tell the 'sister' about it because he doesn't want to hurt her. To make the story short, he lied to her. I tried to talk to her but she doesn't want to hear anything from me. She would rather consult her what she call as friends. I then found out that she is pregnant. The guy said he would support the kid but won't marry her as he loves another girl. So what her so called friends have to say after she gave birth? They say, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH IT, IT IS IN FACT A BLESSING. BE HAPPY ABOUT IT. I agree that there is nothing wrong with having kids as well as being in love. But what do you think she is feeling at that moment having to realized that someone she love just betrayed her and that this person would not marry her and she has to raise his child out of wedlock. When in fact, this things could have been prevented if she just follow what her parents and the bible teaches. That is one of the reasons why the bible was provided for us - to guide our path so we won't be lost. Being disobedient can really put someone in misery. But it is funny that when it already happened, they would blame God for letting this things to happen or making them suffer. God is love. That is why despite sin, we are still here. Yes, he told us to love one another but would you love people who disgrace God? What do you think God feels towards those people? That is what exactly Satan did during the early days. Satan made our first parents believe that God is lying when He said that they would die if they eat the fruit. Satan disgraced God and our first parents believed in him. But instead of punishing them in instant, God sent Adam and Eve out of the garden. They did not die in instant because God loves us and wanted to gave humans a chance. Like what 2 Peter 3:9 says, 'He does not want anyone to perish, but wants everyone to repent." Like what I said earlier, being obedient is far more important to God than sacrifice or any offerings. And God is above all, so His laws are greater than other laws that exist. He knows what is best for us.
@namiya (1599)
• Philippines
27 Aug 12
I think it depends on the mindset of both parties. My cousin and her husband are both Christians but of different religious sects. They have very solid marriage and well disciplined three daughters. They respects each others belief and did not try to force his/hers on the other an don't impose each belief on their children too. They let their children have their choice.
@beenice2 (2482)
• Canada
27 Aug 12
I might not last forever their tolerance they have for each other, it usually cause a division in a long run, I saw a lot of couples in that situation and ended up breaking apart.
@sharryCD (121)
• China
28 Aug 12
yes, it must be quite difficult for two people with different religious background to live together, but it is not impossible, i think. If a person is crazy about his religion, maybe it is more difficult
• United States
27 Aug 12
Allowing each other freedom to believe as he or she wants can play an important role in a harmonious relationship. I've been married since September 1984. When I first started dating my wife, Joyce, she spoke about wanting to share religious beliefs. I felt uncomfortable because she had been part of a charismatic group and I had no interest in that group. Our marriage has worked precisely because each of us has the freedom to believe in one's personal way. My wife is a Eucharistic minister at a local nursing home. She attends Sunday services as often as she could. I am a Christian, but I have turned away from the religious institutions. I don't attend Sunday services and I disagree with a lot of what the Catholic church saids. In my opinion, it is not important that a couple share the same religious beliefs except in the case where children are involved. I know of one case where a Jewish boy and a Catholic girl broke up when the girl wanted the boy to become a Catholic. The important thing to remember in any relationship is to give your partner as much space as possible. I read the bible. My wife and I often discuss the meaning of certain passages in the Bible. But we never argue about it and we never try to change each other's beliefs. We allow each other to believe differently on the same topic. True love can conquer a lot. It can also help us to be tolerant of differences in religion. Like I mentioned earlier, the tough part is when a young child is involved. Which religious services does the child attend? Does the child go with the wife to religious services or does the child go with thee husband to religious services? If one is Jewish and the other is Catholic, this could be a real problem.
@sharryCD (121)
• China
28 Aug 12
Thank you, John, for sharing your story with me. I am quite impressed by what you and your wife have gone through in the past. you mentioned when you dated, Joyce wanted you to be converted to hers. Then how did you solve this dispute at that time? A lot of relationship has ended in that way.
@cher913 (25890)
• Canada
27 Aug 12
sure love conqures everything, that is, until you have children. if the mother believed one thing and the father subscribed to another religion. which one would you teach the children? some people don't think that far ahead which is why it is smart to discuss this in the beginning of the relationship.
@sharryCD (121)
• China
28 Aug 12
Thanks, cher913. A relationship involves a lot of things.It is sure for people to dicuss this thing before starting a relationship. Maybe what survived from this adversity is true love.
@somupriti (353)
27 Aug 12
I don't think so. Because may be there are more than one religion in our world but the truth is the norm of all religion is based on one thing 'To be good human being'. All of them have give stress on the common moral ethics that every one should follow to be social and live for each other. May be the path are little different depending upon the versatility of the social, geographical and natural habitat, but the moral ethic maintains the same norm all over. So as far as relationship is concerned the norm of maintaining a healthy relationship is same to all religion.
@sharryCD (121)
• China
28 Aug 12
Thanks somupriti. It is true each religion tends to lead people to become a good, kind people. That is the common point among all religions. So i am not the person who judge others based on their religions. what matters is not what belifs s/he trust, but what kind of behavious s/he chooses to act in the daily life.
@beenice2 (2482)
• Canada
27 Aug 12
You do have to find a partner with the same religious believes. I know some people that ended up divorce because their belief changed along the way, and or they force to marry somebody they "loved" and at the end, ended up divorced. So don't force a relationship when you know it'll turn sour.
@sharryCD (121)
• China
28 Aug 12
Thanks beenice. Before starting a relationship, perhaps we need a little sense to consider the whole thing. However, most people will lose thier mind when they fall in love with somebody. "sense and sensibility", hard to balance
@silverfox09 (4727)
• United States
19 Jan 13
In some relationship it does , I will not force my belief on others and i would not want them to force are criticize my belief's either . I think if you truly love a person , religion wont matter and maybe you are willing to change because of their example .
@Janurmas (645)
• Indonesia
19 Jan 13
If it happen to me, I don't want to marry a mate with a different religion. Religion is too sensitive. for me, it is better to have a serious relationship with another who has the same religion with us.
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
19 Jan 13
With my husband and myself, religion was never an issue. When we met he was a non-practicing Baptist and I have been a Catholic throughout my entire life. Well, he did ultimately end up converting to catholicism, but that is not because we needed to have the same religion, it is because of the fact that he got to learn about my religion and he felt like it was something that he could really associate with. We are also raising both of our children Catholic. That said, my best friend grew up in a family where her mother was Catholic and her father was Baptist and the relationship that her parents had was a better relationship than most long married couples have.
@mythociate (15963)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
2 Sep 12
True love ... HA ! Your only 'true love' is yourself! Getting into a religion solidifies that ... you're doing everything you can 'for the glory of Flying Spaghetti Monster,' and everything else you do is to protect yourself (in order to further glorify FSM). And human relationships--if they do not support that 'glory'--are too much extra weight to bear.
• Qatar
29 Aug 12
For me religion matters so much in a relationship. I can relate to this because me and my husband has a different religion(although I was baptized in their religion before we get married, I have may reason why). I thought, as time goes by, I will learn to accept his religion, but until now, unfortunately, I never learn to accept their doctrines.We used to argue, but later on I told myself, there is no point to argue for nobody will arise as winner and it will just end up in a fight.Though I attend their church services, I still go to my own without his knowing. Some people when get converted, they embrace their new religion.So before getting married, try to study the religion of your partner if he/she is convincing you to join him/her.There are other religions that they don't "force" you join them and I wish my husband's religion is one of them, but it is not.
28 Aug 12
Religion does not play any role in love. But it does play role when we lead our life.As the difference of culture and perception differ from religion to religion that's why people who have different religious partner become uncomfortable at first.But It's all about adjustment,if they love each other truly then they manage all the problems.So,I believe love is not a planning,it's a feeling.
28 Aug 12
This is just one of the problems that can be caused by religions and when you think that they are based on un-provable and unlikely myths you have to wonder if they are worth it.
@alottodo (3061)
• Australia
28 Aug 12
I guess if both partners are so much into their religion, then they should not marry...obviously love is not enough for them! and what would I do in such situation? if I was ever asked to change any thing about my life, creed,or tradition or anything for that matter I would never consider marrying such person.
• United States
28 Aug 12
For many sharing the same religion is key.They Have to have a partner that believes in the same path. But It isn't so with other couples. my guy and I are not of the same faith but we love each other and it works. So my answer is , it depends.
@screamis (13)
28 Aug 12
I think the boy and girl made a wise choice. What's real love? Just his or her good face, virture or other stuff? No,i think if you really love someone, you must accept the one's everything. The religion are a big thing to one's life , closely related to his or her daily life. In my opinion, after a long time's know each other, at least 1 year, and you accept the other's life style, you could say you are in real love. After all, i am not believe religion, but could basic understand christ and Buddhism, i think i could accept someone who believe that, their thought are not attack to my daily life. But if someone who just like Tom Cruise, hard for to accept.
@anix101 (44)
27 Aug 12
For some people sharing the same religion is very important, and as human beings, when we have a certain belief system we are for some reason compelled to share it with others and in a lot of cases try to force it upon others. For some people making someone they love or are interested in believe what they believe is even more important as the person wants their partner/love interest to have a good after life. I personally don't have a religion but my partner is catholic. For me, it was never really an issue as we both just respected each others perspective and have been willing to listen to the other on their belief systems even though we don't share the same ones. I think whether love can conquer all really depends on the individuals mindset. Some people do truly believe that sometimes love just isn't enough.