When do you start treating a girl as a woman..

@vandana7 (64766)
India
August 28, 2012 5:02am CST
I mean a girl is born, right? She grows up to be a teenager, and is STILL A GIRL.. and then gets married.. I find many people treating married girls as women.. I remember I accidentally addressed a married lady with two girls under 13 as a girl, and there was a big noise about how I dont know how to talk in my language (which at that point was very true). So what ..was she not a girl? She was slimmer than me, and could have passed out a whole lot younger than me. And come to think of it ..god created man and woman..he didnt create a girl.. So why do we bring her in and send her out like some amphibious stage in human life. lol So when does a girl become a woman according to you..
2 people like this
18 responses
@rambansal (576)
• India
28 Aug 12
Psychologically, a girl becomes a woman when she gets conscious of her sexuality. Socially, s girl becomes a woman on getting married. Logically, a girl becomes a woman when she has her man through marriage or otherwise...
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (64766)
• India
3 Sep 12
So there is no way in the normal course to confirm whether she is psychologically conscious of her sexuality, or has had man through marriage or otherwise? And if god created a woman ..then are you trying to say that she had her man before ..I mean ..it is hard to think of that, right?
• Maldives
29 Aug 12
beside mole hills and grass nothing comes to my mind...I am so natural naturally by nature....
@thesids (22358)
• Bhubaneswar, India
31 Aug 12
wherever I find you come naturally for ya Miss u
• Maldives
2 Sep 12
''Actually I making curry paste for my angry wife...women folks get angry simply for curry's sake..''
@vandana7 (64766)
• India
2 Sep 12
Now now..wit..you cant be that innocent..
• India
28 Aug 12
Hello my friend vandana7 Ji, Well, there could be Ph.D on this subject. But as per concept, we never call a newl born female child as woman, we call it 'girl' only or baby. And with regards to woman-hood, it comes with motherhood, also we do not call married girls as girl. They should be called 'woman' Then what about spinster. What is this catagory. Also what to call those females, who never marry and attain motherhood even after 60 yrs or so. All such things differ from place to place. I remember, first time when I wa saddressed as ' DADI/NANI' I felt very good. So just relax, You call everybody as per your culture and not by others. May God bless You and have a great time
@vandana7 (64766)
• India
3 Sep 12
I still feel that every woman has a girl in her, so there is nothing derogatory addressing her as a girl, unless the context makes it so. I mean if she were behaving like a girl, then perhaps such reference to her behavior, girlish behavior might be wrong. But if because she looks younger than me, and has maintained herself like a young girl even though well past 35, I do think of her as a girl, I dont think I should have been verbally penalized..lol. On the contrary, I think she would have taken it as a compliment because by that time, ladies do become conscious that they are aging and wouldnt mind being mistaken to be a few years younger. May be from 35 to 15 is a bit more..but not obnoxious I think..
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (64766)
• India
3 Sep 12
I merely mentioned something like that girl brought in those books. And because she was pretty rich, others in the room found a topic to discuss. lol
1 person likes this
• India
4 Sep 12
Hello my friend vandana7 Ji, Well, I remmeber, as I crossed 45 yrs of age, someone publically addressed me as 'DADIJI' I was overjoyed. I never objected to that. I thought that now I will get more recognision in society, people will look at me for my experiences. In another incidence, we go for getting fresh milk, one day one gentleman addressed me as 'Mataji' being 3-yrs younger than me, my huby is very prompt to notice such things, he objected and corrected that he should have addressed me as 'Sister' So let's tolerate with our experiences and wisdom. May God bless You and have a great time
@prashu228 (25811)
• India
28 Aug 12
i don't know the answer to this but i am curiously waiting to find it from the comments, because, i too never understood the point , why and people start calling a girl a women, what i found is, when a girl is very healthy ( actually over weight) then people mistake and call her a woman, and if she is very slim then a girl, frankly speaking this is not correct, but i found people doing the same, although i didn't understand the logic behind it..
@vandana7 (64766)
• India
3 Sep 12
Prashu..I waited to respond to your comment hoping that I could direct you to one of the answers that I would find appropriate, but out of 18 none really managed to give exact reason. :( And I too noticed that slim woman is often referred to as a girl, and over weight girls get labeled as women. Then again, the way they dress matters. If the woman wears clothes like youngsters she may still be addressed as a girl, if she is not too fat. :)
@prashu228 (25811)
• India
3 Sep 12
hi, Thank you, i was really excited to know the answer, but it seems , people itself are confused. I want to clear my doubt actually, some one here mentioned that its better to address girl or woman as "amma" , if you are Telugu speaking( if i am not wrong south Indians use this word "amma" to address a woman, of course north Indians also use it but only for mother) you may know that, here , we are addressed as "amma" by all, even husbands, i don't see any problem in that, as we take it as addressing with respect, but one of my north Indian friend who doesn't speak Telugu or any other south Indian language, asked me ,why people here use "amma "word even for a wife , now me and my friend tried a lot to explain her the meaning of using it, but they are not convinced , they are asking how can a husband call a wife as "amma" and so on , i mean he is not literally calling her amma, but for eg : prashu come here amma such that, i think you can understand the meaning of that further part,
@vandana7 (64766)
• India
4 Sep 12
Prashu, I have North Indian friends, and they do have a hearty laugh when papa addresses me as Amma or i address my maid as Amma. I think culture differs from place to place. To me, that form of address is loaded with respect. To others it is a form of ridicule.
@thanks1961 (7049)
• India
28 Aug 12
If we look on the dictionary with these differences we get a lot of meaning and differences and why, what, when etc. But for me, it simply stands on the 'look' of a female. As you said, there are a lots of forms for a 'famale'. Hopefully, it startes from, baby, baby girl, girl child, girl, women, lady, aunty, granny etc. For the same person, if we look at the age of 2 we may call her as a girl child. Again with an age of 8-9-10, again she is a girl child and it goes upto the age of 13 or 14. Now it stops and the word 'child' goes away and stand alone as girl. Moving further from 18 to 20-22, the girl become a women or mixed with girl/women, again how she looks like. Never mind, wither married or not, if she is 23-30, she is always a women and not a girl. Move further, go to 34-40, we normally call her as not a women, we prefe to call her as a lady. Now we can imagin, this process goes ahead and we call appropriately, but it depends on her look and not anything else. So, for me, this is the theory and I am not sure about all other are following the 'dictionary' methods, which I feel not so appropriate.
@vandana7 (64766)
• India
1 Sep 12
Wow ..so it is progressive..from baby girl to woman and it reaches the granny and you forgot great granny stage..lol I however did not like you saying that only women between 34-40 are ladies..that is insulting thanks..lol I am 53, and I do consider I qualify as a lady.
• India
3 Sep 12
Oh No!! I didn't really mean it and was casually talking. I really appreciate about it and in your 50s also you are really a lady and I am sure that you can still consider in the women/girls list also. I think age is nothing much to do with as we think. I am also moving towards my 50s and still have the feeling of 23-25 assuming that I am still in my 20s. Even my daughter and son make fun on me saying that all my friends (girls) are at the age group of 20-30 and he (myslef) is thinking that you are a boy! Because I was much in contact with some girls who are best friend of my son. So she is jelous and always says that, mom, you better take care about your h/b (my dad) and he always surrounded with these good looking girls and you may be in danger.. [she is quite funny and don't take it seriously]. Anyway, here in India girls, after marriage considered as ladies and in fact we are not much bothered this term seriously as we all consider our heritage culture is not of western and in Tamil, Kerala, Maharashtra, and some other southern and north east areas also, the women after the age of 30 and above normally considered as ladies but depend on their regional heritage, the concept about their position in our minds are different based on their positon in the society. Thanks for your response.
@vandana7 (64766)
• India
3 Sep 12
Caught ya..
@anix101 (44)
28 Aug 12
Judging whether someone is a woman based on how they look can get you into a lot of trouble, and can look like disrespect. The word girl seems to be associated a lot with immaturity and not knowing the world. If your going to judge whether a person is a woman based on their look then you could be calling a 40 year old a girl. Or people from certain cultures because their body type is smaller and slighter then they are a girl forever? A woman is a woman when they show maturity and learn from mistakes and are always trying to better themselves. Also leading by example, I wouldn't base it on age. Im curious as well as to why there is no question on when a boy is a man?
@vandana7 (64766)
• India
3 Sep 12
LOL..a boy obviously becomes a man the moment he starts shouldering some responsibility. Actually, there is some confusion here. I mean, some women would be flattered to be treated as girls even when they grow older. Which woman would not want to look younger. However, wealth and position in the society changes that concept slightly. Once she is wealthy, she wants some respect, and the world girl strangely does not come with respect though I dont know why. :)
@vandana7 (64766)
• India
3 Sep 12
Sorry typo.. The word "world" should read as "word".
@thesids (22358)
• Bhubaneswar, India
28 Aug 12
As per Indian Context, a girl is a female human until she gets married. Some more versions say that a girl needs to be a mom to be referred to as a woman. btw, what do you really mean when you say - I find many people treating married girls as women Is it in terms of respect or anything else? Personally, I am unsure of when a girl becomes a woman but I think somewhere marriage takes the upper hand. Years or centuries ago when child marriage was prevalent, the girl was called a woman or at least expected to mature as a woman the day she got married (even though it was when she was years younger than the teens)
@thesids (22358)
• Bhubaneswar, India
31 Aug 12
After 3 days of thinking (ummm.... see how much I care about posts from you) - Well, a boy and a man are similar here with your discussion - girl and a woman. Wait. I guess, it is the maturity which should count - psychological and also physical (maybe mental also... I think psychological includes this mental) Come back soon, I am getting impatient for the goodies you would have got for me
@vandana7 (64766)
• India
2 Sep 12
Well, I was back yesterday, but I could barely keep my eyes open, and this morning too I had some chores to attend to. :) I will be going again. But to come to your way to differentiate between a girl and a woman.. We ..irrespective of whether the person is a boy or a man, and a girl or a woman, retain our immaturities. We add mature behaviors to our set of behaviors. That does not mean that those immaturities would cease for good. Like you might behave in one way with your grandma, and you would continue the same behavior pattern to a great extent even if you became the prime minister of India. :) There are other areas of immaturities of course that we do not realize and might have them coming up. :) At times, it is fun as well. :) So as far as I am concerned, a girl and woman are one and the same. :)
@ElicBxn (60883)
• United States
28 Aug 12
That's a good question. I find those females that WANT to be called a woman generally don't ACT like one. Those that don't mind being called a girl, even if they are older, still have a sense of fun. Oh, that don't act like a woman also don't act like a "girl" as in "girlishly" they act like something you generally don't want to make angry at you and might be rabid.
@vandana7 (64766)
• India
1 Sep 12
Actually the terminology..girl, woman, female, lady..they are used so indiscriminately..it is often confusing. I would say every female is a term used for differentiating a person scientifically. Female can be a girl, which imports certain level of immaturity, or a woman which implies a mature person. Each one of us may be girl or woman at times, though most people associate it essentially with something to do with a girl who is married. If the intention was that, why use words like married before the word woman? Unmarried is not essentially a girl, and married is not essentially a woman. Maturity in various day to day behavior differentiates the two, whereas the lady is essentially in terms of interacting socially. Correct me if I am wrong in interpreting the difference. In my case, I end up classifying people as girls based on their looks, some people take that as an offence, when none was intended.
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (60883)
• United States
1 Sep 12
I think there is a lot to be said for your classifications. I think of myself more as a "girl" because I don't like to think of myself as "old" despite the years and grey hairs I've got. Now, female is regardless of human, there are female animals, even female plants so female is just a classification regardless of what it is.
@jennyze (7048)
• Indonesia
11 Sep 12
I would be so happy when I passed as a girl instead of a woman... Balinese addressed all girls and women of age (passed senior high school) with "Mam". Isn't it nice? But, when I was still a little more than 18 years old, I used to get mad... "am I that old"... People should just ignore some misunderstandings, or correct it if necessary. But in a good way, of course. I guess when a girl is married, she is entitled to be called a woman, but some people are blessed with baby face and figure so they should be grateful for it not angry...
@vandana7 (64766)
• India
11 Sep 12
She must have been around 35 at the time, but she could pass of as 21 or so..and since I was near about 30 I just didnt think deep enough and merely spoke of her as a girl, and that had my bosses up with arms..lol
@Melody968 (124)
• China
29 Aug 12
Usually,a girl turn to be a women after she married with a man.In China, girl uaually refer to a lady who hasn't got married or has kid. A woman may have much more experience of social life than a girl. A woman may be much more maturer than a girl. A woman may be stronger in heart than a girl.
@vandana7 (64766)
• India
3 Sep 12
I accept your explanation Melody. Social life experience, and stronger heart perhaps differentiates a woman from a girl.
@natliegleb (5186)
• India
29 Aug 12
When i think she is ready to take over a family and she becomes a woman and tries to behave maturily in all ways for sure ,she is truly a leader in the family
@vandana7 (64766)
• India
3 Sep 12
That is the general perception. However, how would you know that she is ready for that, and "tries to behave maturely" :)
@Micmac (8462)
28 Aug 12
Ha ha here grown up married women are addressed as a girl you know like 'You Go Girl', or 'Girl, how have you been?'. or 'Hey Girl'. People don't look at whether the lady it married, old or young, teenager or single, she's still a girl. I'ts funny how expression doesn't quite fit with the age bracket. At least it makes those married older woman feel young at heart.
@vandana7 (64766)
• India
1 Sep 12
How I wish the entire world would think like you..
@bhanusb (5709)
• India
28 Aug 12
Hi vandana, you are right God created man and woman, not boy and girl. When Adam and Eve created they were adult. That means they were man and woman. Though not married Adam and Eve were partners. In our real life we see female gender talks too much. Daughters and mothers talk in same manner. They always remain female and never become woman.
@vandana7 (64766)
• India
2 Sep 12
I think we should stop that classification male or female..it is almost derogatory. I mean we have males and females in animals. So when we use such scientific classification to refer to ladies it is not nice ..it is almost reducing them to being in animal species.. but this is only my thought. I would never allow my daughter or son to refer to a lady as female. Talk too much..lol. I think that is actually an asset. They can get jobs more easily as DJs, or in call centers. lol
@webearn99 (1744)
• India
28 Aug 12
There are two ways of looking at this issue. Chronological/Physiological factor: This is mainly related to the body development and maturity of the female body. There is a distinct transition from child to a woman both in physical appearance and thinking of the person concerned. But then this phenomenon varies from person to person. Emotional Factor: Here the bond one has with the female person is of importance. For example, I will always treat my younger sister as a girl, even though she is in her forties, because she is a part of me as a sibling. But her daughter, in my view has grown into a woman and should be treated as such. I think that this is because of the bonding and the relationship we have as individuals. I agree with you that the whole concept is very confusing and vague. However the safest way to address any female of any age, in our culture is to call her "Amma" or mother. No conceivable controversy this way.
@vandana7 (64766)
• India
1 Sep 12
Yeah..I agree "Amma" is such safe way to address a person, though I was laughed at when dad called me that. :) Difference in culture within our own country. :) I called the married lady with two tenaged daughters "pilla" ..lol And of course, everybody made a big noise about it..
@loonys (418)
28 Aug 12
It has to be with age ...u become a woman after you are fully grown . However its not that nice to call someone who never got married a woman ..
@vandana7 (64766)
• India
1 Sep 12
I think even married women should find it flattering that they are addressed as girls..because it does imply certain amount of youth, right? :)
• India
28 Aug 12
I am not very sure about this because I have never seriously though anything on this earlier. But I have heard people telling that girls turn as woman with their first period.
@vandana7 (64766)
• India
1 Sep 12
I think that is old fashioned thing. Girls just dont "mature" MENTALLY overnight..unless you all are happy enough marrying another species..lol We are quite like you all men. We have our moments of immaturity, and maturity, at every age. :)
@urbandekay (18312)
28 Aug 12
Thing is many women behave as girls, demanding, unable to exercises self control, like a self-centred and spoilt child. To me maturing into an adult is, in part, learning to free yourself from being controlled by emotional and other drives. all the best urban
@vandana7 (64766)
• India
1 Sep 12
I think we and I wont say merely women, even men are immature at times, and mature at other times, so why this differentiation is more pronounced in case of a girl and a woman. And it is not necessary that all girls are "demanding, unable to exercise self control....". :) Take for example Elizabeth Benett and Jane Benett of Pride and Prejudice. :) Or Little women..:) Learn by experience that we cant add salt instead of sugar, right?
• India
29 Aug 12
a girl becomes a woman when she starts with a ideological thinking in her mind away from her childish mentalty. usually all children and school and college gals are mentioned as gals but not as woman becoz their mentalties are still childish and not mature enough they give more importance to fun friends and their intersts but dont think much about life career or family and parents. usually a girl becomes a woman when she is married dats the time she starts knowing abt life and she starts thinking of everyone career family and her mind elaborates and matures. even un married girls are mentioned as woman when they acquire that innate responsibility inside them. but most of them wont be very responsible befor marrage but some do.