Still can't find the perfect match

@enelym001 (8333)
Philippines
August 28, 2012 7:57am CST
If you are wondering, well I didn’t get any boyfriend yet. Not even finished with the book I was talking about on my previous discussion... I’m not in a hurry now. I’m taking my time and enjoying life being single. There were guys expressing their interest. But I can’t seem to find the right match for me. One is way too young – I told him I’d just be his big sister. LoL! The other is within my age but a single dad of how many kids…? Let's not talk about it. Not that I’m judging him because of his status, but I think I’ll pass. Another is… well again, younger than me. And another guy… there is no spark. I don’t wanna waste the guy’s time so when I felt there is no spark, I frankly told him that there is no possibility for him and me. He tried to convince me to get to know him first. But I guess if at first meeting you felt no magic and felt bored with him then that answers it. Would you still give hope to a guy even if you are certain you will never like him? I cannot. I’ve learned my lesson from the past. I’m not gonna be the same old “friendly” girl who takes months to tell a guy there’s no chance.
6 people like this
21 responses
• Philippines
28 Aug 12
hi en, Well I am single I am enjoying it but there are times you want to have someone to be at your side specially in rainy season when you badly needed a human jacket . Well I had suitors but it's way complicated like yours maybe in right time someone will come along with the spark happy mylotting
@jaiho2009 (39079)
• Philippines
28 Aug 12
No- you are the one making things complicated
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
29 Aug 12
hi bhaby, but there are times you want to have someone to be at your side that is so true, these are the lines my friends always says when she feels sad that she has no boyfriend. I also use these words at times when I feel alone thinking if I have a boyfriend there'd be someone walking with me and regularly checking on me... specially in rainy season when you badly needed a human jacket a human jacket, but of course, we need some warm embrace from someone. cold season is coming up, ber-months in two days, do we need to be an SMC (Samahan ng Malalamig ang Christmas) member this time?
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
29 Aug 12
HI there jai Uh-oh you must advise bhaby not to make things complicated. If they both love each other then there won't be any complication on it. bhaby, try to get to know your suitors, who knows one of them are the perfect match for you. Goodluck girl!
@thanks1961 (7049)
• India
28 Aug 12
To be frank, it is better to tell upfront that if we don't like someone. It make more sense that both the parties can move with their own ways. If wait for months, it will get impressed and later on the NO-s may happened to YES and waiting for a long period causes more closer also. So, if find not suitable, straight, NO, that could be better for both the parties. Any way, hope when you complete the reading, your waiting will get over and find a suitable one for you! Any way, if you find your are aged enough for a marriage, don't get delayed and marriage life also as interesting like single life. Best of luck.
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
29 Aug 12
Hi thanks, Yes there is really a possibility that feelings may developed if we wait for a few months. And it happened to me before not only once. I ended up having a boyfriend that time. But it already lasted. When it happened again with a different guy. We never became a couple. Right now, what I feel ideal for me is to make sure I also like the guy at first sight. And will feel a connection with him. The one whom I won't feel bored talking with. Like everyday we get to talk about things we both love to talk about. Someone that can both be my lover and bestfriend. I think that will be the perfect match for me I may wait for a few months and see if there will somehow be a spark between the two of us, but if at first I already feel nothing - I guess I won't ever make it too long and waste the guy's time.
• India
30 Aug 12
In fact after writing you, I was thinking a lot about the same topic and was slightly restless. Because, the attachments are not with all. Supoose we are in a group of 25, we make feel like talk/walk/keep friendship with only 5-8, in general. Again, if we short list, it may reduced to 2-3 and these 2-3 people might have much of similarities, attachments, oneness etc. Also, we may get attracted with some nature or feature from the other person which we may feel comfortable or pleasing. And as a result, we may have some desire to keep pace with such people and this relationship can be lead to a good friendship or towards a love affair. When the same feeling emerge from the different gender, they will like to be together and spend more time together etc. Sometime we may not happy with all people to make such attachments or if someone approach to us, we may feel keep away from them as we don't like them. People those keep a lot of dream about such a person to enter into our life may be always artist or may be some have some great desire about the happend to be partner. Anyway, I am sure that you will find a suitable person soon and pray to get a best of best person to enter into your so long alone life and wish you a good day.
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
30 Aug 12
I have met someone like that. But I don't know what kind of relationship we have. I guess, it's just a platonic love how I wish it could have turned into a beautiful relationship. But things aren't meant to be I guess. So I have to accept that there is only a limit and decides to move on. While for others, if a guy approached and openly tells he likes you, and you give him a chance at least a day to see whether there is something special you'll feel towards him... but realized there's none. And you hated receiving his messages. Then I do think it means you will never fall for the guy no matter how hard you try.
• Mathura, India
28 Aug 12
Respected my dear mylotter friend, Have a very nice day. I hope you will certainly find a good match. Being hurry to take such an important matter is not good. You should decide after analyzing the things properly and then should take next step. you should take own time to come on a sharp decision. I would like to invite your valuable and knowledgeable return comment. Happy mylotting, (^|^)(°J°)
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
29 Aug 12
Hi kishore, I also hope for that, not in a hurry as when you keep thinking about it the more you will feel sad and feels alone. I have friends with me, and I guess that is the number rule of being single. To have friends around.
1 person likes this
• Mathura, India
30 Aug 12
Till then why should not enjoy mylotting here with us. All the problems come to be solved. So, there is no need to be worried. Have a nice day. Take care. Happy mylotting. mylotting. (°J°) (°L°)
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
30 Aug 12
Of course that's what I'm doing... I don't consider this a problem anyway Just sharing my thoughts and experiences. Have a nice day too,
1 person likes this
@mythociate (13827)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
2 Sep 12
This is why I hate feminism: because it declares that 'women are equal people,' but says nothing about the FACT that men must still aggressively 'declare the relationship' (as in the first part of the Bible-book of Genesis, when Adam says (essentially) 'Flesh of my flesh, you're with me.') If I were to walk up to the girl I wanted to marry (just like Adam did with Eve, without spending any time learning about her & -her habits & -her likes & dislikes) and say the same thing, she would react with a look of disgust and reject me. And if I DID do all the 'learning about her'-things without her participation, I would start to be less-and-less 'future husband' & more-and-more 'stalker' Damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don't
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
3 Sep 12
Gone are those days of Adam and Eve. But hey I cannot also walk up to a guy I wanted to be my husband and say the same thing... he might also reject me. So it's just equal
@mythociate (13827)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
4 Sep 12
I guess the best thing to do is throw a little 'Caution to the Wind' (a song by Sherman Andruss, the title-track on the album that also had the song "One More Night with the Frogs" ... don't worry if you've never heard of him, he's an Oklahoma singer; not as big as Garth Brooks or Vince Gill or Toby Keith or one of the others you might've heard of, but big enough) and invite your hoped-for spouse to join you doing something you're going to do anyway (like going to church, going to the Karaoke-bar, going to see a movie or show or sporting-event, taking a walk around the neighborhood, etc.) Get to know each other that way first, and then you can go on to bigger questions.
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
4 Sep 12
Uh-oh... those are the things I can't really do. I guess I'd just have to sit around and wait for someone to come along... Well there are few guys who comes along, but it's not easy forcing ourselves to like someone we don't like...
• Philippines
5 Sep 12
Wow, looks like you have a lot of admirers! Anyway, I strongly agree with you. There's no need to rush when it comes to love. I encounter so many people who enter into relationships not because of love but out of desperation. You are wise to choose your match carefully. Turning down those you don't like right away may appear harsh to some people. But in reality, this is for their own good. It saves them time and instead of chasing wind, they could use that time to pursue another girl who would love them back.
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
6 Sep 12
Hi seriousnuts, Not a lot. Only a few. But none of them is "the one" Yeah I feel like I was a bit harsh sometimes. But I know that in time they will understand. A relationship wouldn't work if only one of them is loving one. I experienced this when I thought I will be loved back by someone I like. But then I realized it would just be painful if we continuously love someone when we know they can never give us the same thing. Better to just let go. And yes you are right, there's no good in chasing a wind.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
7 Sep 12
Giving your suitor false hope is even more harsh. So ending it early is the wise thing to do. Love comes at different times to different people. What you could do is to just enjoy your current situation while waiting for the perfect match. Hope true love will come knocking at your door soon. All the best.
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
8 Sep 12
Yes I am enjoying my current situation now. I am being friends with some of them. Trying to get to know although I know that I am not entertaining the possibility of me and him together. But it is good that some would understand it already. Well hopefully that true love will be there when I least expected him. lol.
@adhyz82 (36289)
• Indonesia
28 Aug 12
times will makes you find the right one in your life.. Just search, search and believes God.. are you trauma with your love experience??
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
28 Aug 12
Hi adhyz, Not traumatized with my experience... just being careful so I'm now taking my time and trying to find the right match for me. If there is no one to come, I'll keep waiting until God knows when.
@adhyz82 (36289)
• Indonesia
28 Aug 12
i think i ever make discussion with you,if iam not wrong, you are talking about how happy you with your boyfriend..or iam wrong??
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
29 Aug 12
Maybe it's from someone else. can you put the links here so I can see it?
@sweetyethot (1738)
• China
28 Aug 12
still cant find the perfect match. And yes, im enjoying the time being single.My family are really worried about me. They think im way past the marry age.They are anxious that I would never marry someone.That makes me under great pressure.I dont think I would give hope to a guy if im certain we will never make it. best wishes!
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
28 Aug 12
Hi sweetyethot, I have been under pressure, but this time I think I won't let anyone pressure me. The first time I allowed anyone - it did not work out and I decided to just end up whatever I have and not hold on with those plans. Don't let anyone pressure you into getting married. Thanks and best wishes to you too.
@adhyz82 (36289)
• Indonesia
28 Aug 12
@enemy : it means you ever frustrated when your ex boyfriend push you doing something that you dislike??
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
29 Aug 12
hi adhyz, I'm not an enemy my nick's enelym Nope, you got it wrong dear... what I meant and sweetyethot means here is we are being pressured by family, relatives and friends into getting married. It is not really easy getting married if things isn't working out as planned.
@jaiho2009 (39079)
• Philippines
28 Aug 12
hello en I like that phase "spark" Yes, that's what you need to say he's the right one I have found one...I feel that spark...but seems he didn't notice the spark in my eyes (^_*) hehehe
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
28 Aug 12
Hi jai spark that's what we always want to feel to make sure we are in love Glad you have found someone.. but sad he's not noticing it, try to put on some more glitters in your eyes jai
@jaiho2009 (39079)
• Philippines
28 Aug 12
that's a good idea... let me try it now and I'll let you know if it works
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
28 Aug 12
okie let me know if it'll work
• Maldives
29 Aug 12
I am having the same problem I think we both can be ....ahhhm...ahm..you know And when it comes to age no one can surpass me.. So I will wait till you react...
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
30 Aug 12
Hi Misterbull, Lol! If your age is the same as the one on the photo, then you're right.. we can't surpass you This isn't a problem, this is just a phase in life and we have to deal with it. Deal with being single and mingling trying to find the person for us til we finally find him/her. Til then do update me.
• Maldives
8 Sep 12
I immediately I fell in love with you and you broke my heart immediately... I wish things never happen immediately.. But it's no big deal, the past 116 years my heart has being broken 112.50 times so I am addicted to broken heart and I was taken to a rehabilitation center to be cured but once I was in there the rehabilitation got frightened and left the center so did I.. Pssssssst A teenager is coming with king size papayas...yummy!
@williamjisir (22909)
• China
3 Dec 12
Hello enelym. When talking about the perfect match, personally, there is no need to hurry for itas it takes time for one to find a true love. Only when both find that spark in life can they go on for the next step of love stage. But anyway, I wish you to find your perfect love as you wish. Good luck to you, enelym.
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
4 Dec 12
I have proven it. We cannot really find the perfect match that quick. Yes it really takes time and we need to get to know the person really well before we can that s/he is our true love.
@joliefille (3697)
• Philippines
25 Nov 12
I wouldn't give them a chance if I don't like them and if I don't feel that we share the same interest. I have heard of other girls entertaining their suitors because they don't want to hurt them. It is not for me to say but I cannot live that way wasting my time and their time.
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
25 Nov 12
That's good joliefille, at least you are not giving them any false hope that there is a chance for you to like them. I guess that is really how we must do it. But you know, there are still guys who still wait even though they have been told there is no chance for the girl to like him.
@adrians (52)
• Philippines
5 Oct 12
Giving us the "FALSE HOPE" ^.^ we boys never like that so thanks ^.^. Being in a relationship doesn't grow with age. It grows with experience ^.^ If you meet a guy that makes your heart beat uneasy the moment you saw him, the "someone" always there behind you you watching,wishing that at a later time maybe you can look back. the guy that makes you angry the most. We cannot see the one we love by making it to work out with the one we like. So Good Luck in meeting him ^.^
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
8 Oct 12
Thanks also Adrian Yes I am done with giving the false hope to guys. But you know sometimes we don't give false hopes, we just like to see whether we will eventually like or love a guy. It takes months sometimes. But I am glad now that it doesn't take that much time for me anymore before I realize if I like or love a guy.
@blinjk (613)
• Philippines
17 Sep 12
Well, maybe you will soon meet a guy that will make you feel the spark thing. Love will just come to you without expecting it.I remember my cousin who also wants a girl with a spark.He married a girl but now he is regretting it maybe he was really in a hurry to marry someone that time because he said he was really lonely.Well, just take your time and someone told me not to look for love because it will find you.Well, I hope you will meet a man that could make you happy,love you till the end and would never break your heart.Have a nice day...
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
18 Sep 12
I guess someone found me already But it's a bit complicated. He was living too far and I don't really know what I really feel for him or he feels for me. He confessed but I don;t know I guess I've somehow pushed him away.
• Philippines
30 Aug 12
You are not alone girl. I'm also now in the midst of waiting for my perfect match. It seems so hard to find one nowadays. But I believe in due time we will be able to meet our destined man. We'll just have to be patient. Have a great day! :)
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
31 Aug 12
Hi marie, That's true, it's very hard. And most of us girls have to wait, because we cannot initiate the 'courting' in case we saw someone we like You're right all we need is to be patient coz for sure we'll meet our perfect match when we least expect it.
• Kenya
29 Aug 12
That is the right decision and as foolish as it may sound, I am also waiting for that spark that is so elusive. I dated a guy for four years because he was just great but sadly we had to end it as no matter how much I tried, I could not love him back and that is just bad for the two people in the relationship. it is better to be alone happy than to be with someone who makes you unhappy.be patient and you will get your ideal guy with butterflies to boot and I need that as well.
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
30 Aug 12
Hi favouredmost, We cannot really force ourselves into loving someone we cannot love. No matter how many good qualities a person have, if s/he is not the one our heart wants, I guess it will never really work out... and may only lead into breakup or worst, broken marriages. Well, I hope so that you also will finally meet someone who can give you the chills and tingles and make your heart smile
• India
29 Aug 12
Hi friend, don't worry, surely you will find your guy in the near soon and my wishes for it. As you listed out about the guys whoever you meet and the reasons for why you don't like them. I think still you don't meet your right choice, wait for some time, surely you will find him and express your love in an unique way
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
30 Aug 12
Hi vidhya, Yes that is true, I haven't met the guy for me yet even when I am meeting some guys. Don't worry too friend, I'm not in a hurry. Sometimes if people think about it more, the wait will even be longer. But thanks for your wishes.
@toyota4k (1212)
• Philippines
29 Aug 12
Well, at your age you should be starting to plan for your future, that is by getting married unless of course if you are picky. There is a tale about a woman whose type was someone rich and handsome. She turned down all his suitors since no one fit that criteria, Years passed and almost fifty, no one bothered to court her anymore. She became worried that she might not marry at all. She soon found herself exchanging vows w/ a sixty year old one-eyed-jack and a crooked man. lol
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
30 Aug 12
Hi toyota4k, I do think that if I found the missing puzzle in my life then it will very easy to get married. If not, then there is no need to plan for it. Just planning for myself and family is enough, I am not the choosy type actually. I have fallen in love with some guys who are neither handsome nor rich. But I guess if those guys are not for me, then it is really very hard to force myself into liking a certain guy. Those that has been rejected are the guys that I am sure I won't be happy with. No one would like to live with someone they don't love.
• India
29 Aug 12
hey dont worry it is said marriages are made in heaven. if u dnt find anyone yet proper it means that some one is there for u with al qualities to love you . u just hav to have some patience and wait ull surely get him. every girl needs a man who treats her like a princess so dont be in a hurry and choose some one wrong by mistake or hurry. so wait analyze evryone ull surely find th eright partner for you be happy ull find ur romeo and be the juliet. love should happen it shoudnt be created so wait for it to happen.
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
29 Aug 12
Hi amritha3009, thank you dear I will surely wait for my Romeo the problem sometimes is that there were some who's so much willing to treat me like a princess, even a queen, lol, but I don't think I can treat him as a prince.
@SIMPLYD (74865)
• Philippines
28 Aug 12
That's right enelym. Don't be in a rush, because there will be others who will come a-courting you. Sometimes, when you least expect it, love comes. And also you are right, that when there's no spark, don't force yourself to ignite some spark. You will end up just fooling yourself.
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
28 Aug 12
HI Miss D, That's what I am trying to do now Trying to get to know and if I feel that it's not gonna work out, considering the distance, status and feeling - I don't entertain or force myself anymore. I just enjoyed the friendship. But I doubt if they would like it that way I don;t want to fool myself too so better be frank and firm with them, so they wouldn't expect much as well.
@riyauro (6431)
• India
28 Aug 12
Hi enelym, you did the right thing by telling the guy that it would not happen since did not feel the spark. well you can take your time and wait since you find the right one. Patience will be rewarded and you will do fine. Sometimes you feel the spark when you don't even know the person and sometimes you know the person very well but know sparks. We are all different and we have the right to choose and decline whom we want to. Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful day ahead.
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
28 Aug 12
Hi riyauro, Thanks for your inputs too. You are right, that spark can be felt when we least expect it and sometimes to the person we like that don't like us back LoL. I felt it for someone before but I guess that someone did not felt it with me