What will you do when your ex-boyfriend contacted you again?

China
August 29, 2012 2:34am CST
The day before several days was my birthday, and the day is Chinese Valentine's Day as well, in the night I received a text message from my ex-boyfriend. He congratulated me and said that he considered sending me the message all day, he didn`t know if should do it. Later when he saw people were celebrating the festval on his way home he couldn`t help it. He said sorry in the message. The message from him made me weep, because I still love him, though we have not contacted for more than half a year, I still have the strong memory of us. We made some messages and he said sorry again. I felt very happy but very sad as well, I even don`t understand why he gave me news again, my friends told me it means nothing, maybe he just thought about me suddenly or felt sorry for our old days. But actually I really want to go ahead with him if we can. So what should I do now? If I should do nothing because he means nothing just likes my friends talking?
4 people like this
18 responses
@MissPiggy (1751)
• Indonesia
29 Aug 12
Keep the communication going, I think that's what you should do. I still keep my communication with my ex even if he has married now. People say he's my puppy love because he was my boyfriend when I was 12 (and we were together for three years). We both 29 now and we were still fine. I still love him and I know he still loves me. And when we talk, we sometimes reverse to the past, to our memory. That's just fun. So I think you should let it flow to see where this new communication goes.
1 person likes this
• China
30 Aug 12
Thank you MissPiggy, anyway your condition of being with your ex sounds not bad, yes, sometimes we don`t need to cut ties to the ex, if two people don`t hate each other, at least can try to be good friends. Just hope my wish is not impractical. Enjoy your nice day:)
@adhyz82 (36289)
• Indonesia
2 Sep 12
MissPigy, wonderful way..It is important for making good relationship like that..It is rare because most of people when they broke love relationship, it is hard for being a friend like normally
@MsTickle (25014)
• Australia
9 Sep 12
Some people have strange ideas and can behave strangely at certain times. You say he said he wanted to break up with you so you said goodbye and left him first. Now some people would be really annoyed by this because they want to be the one who finishes things. They want to be the one to break the others heart. You took that opportunity from him. Sounds to me if you did get back together he would soon leave you with him being the one in control this time. Not saying this is what will happen...it's just an idea.
1 person likes this
@LittleMel (14059)
• Canada
16 Oct 12
that's what I thought too but I hope I am wrong
@kaci2012 (19)
3 Sep 12
I can understand you,just as I do.I got back together with my ex-boyfriend after broke up for a year.Because I loved him so much and couldn't foget him.But some messages can't really mean anything.He may just feel sorry to you.You have to observe a period of time to make sure if he loves you too.But I think becoming a common friend is a cruel thing.You can't hug him and must be polite.You still love him,but you may discover the he loves other woman.In my experience,I think you'd better to disconnect and go find another one who can make you happy.
• China
3 Sep 12
Today I leave him some simple words on line, just talk the weather. I want him to know I am still here, as for his thought and response, I can`t control it and I will face it calmly, just don`t want to leave regret. Don`t want to right or wrong...... Thank you very much Kaci, enjoy a nice day.
@adhyz82 (36289)
• Indonesia
4 Sep 12
so do you still miss him?? do you still miss your sweet momments with him?? or you only curse him because of the situation now??
5 Sep 12
Yes I still miss him,but I know he isn't my MR.Right.Tt is my lifelong regret.This is life.
• Philippines
29 Aug 12
Hi Coralguan... I think try to be casual to him. try to friends with him and if given a chance, ask him his reasons why he's doing it. You still love him but could not even show him that. its hard. once he tells you that you two will better remain as friends, then try to reflect if you can do it. if not, then its time for you to move on.
• China
29 Aug 12
Actually it is difficult to be together even though we all want, but you know the feeling of love, I can`t forget him and he contacted me again... Maybe I am happy wahtever which kind of relationship we are, oh my god, that`s too reasonless.
• Philippines
30 Aug 12
I am in that situation before. And its really degrading because you let your self be hurt again and again and again. If you two wants to make it, then you guys must compromised things for it. if its too difficult, maybe you two are not meant to be lovers? with that, you have to make a decision that for sure will make a big change in your life. Goodluck...
• China
30 Aug 12
I worry that he ignores me again if I try to be with him again, your words are reasonable, it is degrading if things going like that, and I don`t want to get the hurt feeling again. So, CASUAL is good and it is what I can do now. Thanks.
@aerous (13475)
• Philippines
1 Sep 12
I think your ex sort out everything in his mind and still loves you. He maybe shy to say any words about love because of what he did in the past... For me if my ex called me and talk about something else. Better not to cling into it again. If that ex want us to be friend...time will be sort out and decide. Friends might be work out in other ways...
• Thailand
1 Sep 12
I don't make friends with my ex, it will be difficult, better let go forget or come back as lovers... Friends will not work out if damage has been tragically done.
• China
3 Sep 12
When I talk to my sister about him, she also thinks that he still remembers me, but he may have no idea about us, we have some realistic problems even though we want to go ahead. Today I wrote some simple words to him on line, I just want him to know I am still here, as for his response, I can`t control it and I will face it calmly. As Gracia said, I also think we cannot be common friends, either come back as lovers or don`t contact anymore. Anyway, I am okay now. Thanks a lot.
@andy77e (5170)
• United States
31 Aug 12
The question is, do you see a future with this boy. If you do NOT see a future, then you should do nothing. Say "thanks" and "good bye!". No more talk. If you have no future, you need to move forward in life, not be held down by the past. If you *DO* see a future... Then you need to ask the question "has the problem been fixed". There was some problem that broke you and him up. Some reason that you are not together. You do not need to tell me what that problem is. But you do need to determine if that problem is fixed. Because if it is not fixed, then it is still there. It has not left. He is still him, and you are still you. Problems do not magically disappear. If you get back together, that problem will still be there, unless you two have fixed it. Lastly, if this problem is the boy was not committed to marriage.... then you need to assume it means nothing until he proves it to you. By prove it to you, I mean he needs to make it clear to you, he wants to marry and be husband and wife, and live together in a family. If he does not do this... he's playing around again. Don't go there, you'll end up hurt.
• China
31 Aug 12
Thank you very much for your suggestion, it is very clear. I think I am sure what I should do now, for the most important question--whether he will marry me--I think I know, he won`t, even I don`t need to ask that but I am sure. Maybe he just suddenly thought about me and had a bad or sorry feeling of our old days, but he still doesn`t want to do more and doesn`t want to make a future with me, otherwise he would not just say so less. On the other hand, I indeed don`t want to be hurt again, I know the next time will be more painful than last time...so, let me do nothing, at least just see what he will do later, if have nothing, that`s okay, anyway I will not talk to him actively. Thanks, so many friends help me and I really think it clearer than before. Have a nice weekend.:)
@andy77e (5170)
• United States
31 Aug 12
You come across very smart and mature. This is good thing for you. I bet you will do very well if you keep thinking clearly. I support you completely!! *HUGS!*
@adhyz82 (36289)
• Indonesia
29 Aug 12
i think it depends on you.. if you feel you are wrong when you send message him, don`t do it.. but you must ensure, not you the first time send message, but you only replied what he do first..
• China
30 Aug 12
Understand, don`t want to be injured again.
@adhyz82 (36289)
• Indonesia
2 Sep 12
it depends on you it is not sin if you send message to him and get message from him.. now it depends on you, placing him in your heart
• Thailand
29 Aug 12
If he said something special like coming back to you again then that would be great, love is sweeter the second time around and you also said you still love him....then Why not give a second chance if ever he will court you again.. Be Happy, everyone need love ,most of all follow your instinct and feeling... But if he is not giving any special meaning with each words or he is just dropping by to say hi and how are you just give a simple response to just to be formal...
• China
30 Aug 12
I am confused and a little nervous whenever think about him these days, yes I want to be with him again, but it`s so hard...
• Thailand
1 Sep 12
Of the feeling is mutual you should try it again, no body is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes and experience teach us to be more vigilant in the next relationships... So if you wanna give another chance of your life to be in love again, do it dear, you might miss a chance of a life time...you might never know that you probably gonna be letting go of someone and something precious...
@riyauro (6431)
• India
29 Aug 12
After reading your discussion I think he has just said it like that. If he still loves you, he will say it and will want to carry on with you. but he did not say anything like that, so i think just be friends for time being and see what he has to say. Don't start expecting things because you can get hurt. I wish good for you. Have a wonderful day ahead.
• China
29 Aug 12
Thank you riyauro, yeah I don`t want to be hurt again, it was a bad feeling. So difficult to think, I think I need to calm down, hehe. Thanks.
1 person likes this
@visavis (5945)
• Philippines
30 Aug 12
Maybe his way to come back is like to start again from the biginning I mean to say he was firt call or text after breakup may be he wanted to be friends again first before anything else. We are judge jump into a conclusion.
@jazel_juan (15767)
• Philippines
30 Aug 12
Well maybe you should see first what is his intention of contacting you again. But as for me, lol if you ask me that, it would be a different thing as i am married lol but probably i would just ignore it. I never really have any communication with my ex..
• China
30 Aug 12
Seeing his intention is difficult to me, for I don`t know the result and I am still nervous of that. You have your family that is good, it means the best result of lovers. Wish you enjoy your happy day:) Thanks.
@JakeFinn (21)
• Philippines
29 Aug 12
Try to take it slow. Judging from how you talk about him, it seems that he is actually a nice guy. I am just hoping he never breaks your heart again. However, in love, there are no guarantees. It seems that you are still young. Just be friends with him again and just talk to us again about how it goes.
• China
30 Aug 12
Yeah, calm down, try to be friends, I think this is a better way, let me try. Thanks a lot.
@Timeout (419)
29 Aug 12
This actually happened to me and ended badly, but it was because he wanted us to be a couple again and I didn't. So I made him promise he wouldn't try to gain me back, he promised and then tried to force me to kiss him so I left him there alone and I didn't contact him anymore, he has written to me lots of letters and I don't even read them. Crazy!
• China
30 Aug 12
Oh, from your words I know you don`t like your ex, I think this is the difference between us, I like my ex, still love. Of course I really don`t know what will happen even though I like him.
@visavis (5945)
• Philippines
29 Aug 12
For it is no big deal since you said EX means nothing you move on already and face the reality that you are him/her are not mean to each other. So if no other intension of his/her call may just say hello and make a friend not problem.. Or else you still having feeling towards.
• China
30 Aug 12
Mabe I need to calm down, maybe I think too much?
• Portugal
29 Aug 12
for us to advise you you need to tell us what did he do to you in the past. that way we can say if we agree with your friends or not. maybe he realised that it was a mistake to be without you. but maybe he was just sad to be without a gf on valentine's day and decided to say sorry for hurting you in the past. he didnt want to feel lonely on that day. if he loves you then thats another thing. just wait that he contact you. if he wants you back he will fight for it. just dont show much of your feelings yet^^ unless you are sure he really loves you dont show it much so you wont get much hurt. if you feel in your heart that he really is sorry for what happened and will do anything to have you back then you can start trusting him. but let him show you how much he loves you first.
• China
30 Aug 12
Half a year before I left him because he didn`t care about me as before, so I said goodbye though I was hurt. And he never knew I was going to leave his city to come back my hometown so when I told him that he was very surprised, then he wanted to send me off but I told him I would set out very soon (I feel he got a big surprise again). Later he called me many times when I have arrived my hometown... I don`t know how to describe the situation of us, but each of his news all made me feel sad even shed tears.
@fatlex06 (895)
• Philippines
29 Aug 12
Maybe it depends on how we broke up. But definitely sure, I will ignore. :D
• China
30 Aug 12
Maybe ignoring is wise? But I am not sure whether I can do that, think it a lot these days.
@rsa101 (13337)
• Philippines
29 Aug 12
Saying sorry may mean a lot of things. He may be sorry but is not intending to back with you and just moving on with his life. Or he could mean sorry and wants you back in his life. So before you make a move for yourself I think you should clarify his real intentions why he did say that.
• China
29 Aug 12
Try to chat with him just as friends, see what happen but I will not expect much, that is the best way I think. Thank you very much:)
@prasanta (1947)
• India
29 Aug 12
First I shall try to observe whether his habits have changed for which he was rejected. Secondly, I shall try to get as much information on him as possible. Thirdly, I will take at least one-year-time to let him realize my worth. Then, if I find him acceptable, and if he is really after me, I shall superficially accept him rather act as if accepted. Thereafter again 2/3 years observation period will continue to finally accept him. In short, I am not in favor of accepting the old boyfriend, because the diseases like doubt, disagreement, intolerance etc., never get completely cured in life. When availability of boyfriends is not at stake, why to take back the old one?
@kdtrey5 (14)
• United States
29 Aug 12
Yu should really follow your heart, a relationship is between two people. you and him only not including your friends. so if you two can back on track and it's truly what the both of you want, then by all means do it. I sent a text too my ex recently and I hope she feels atleast a little of what we had. Still hoping (: but do as your heart tells you and everything will fall in place.