mother...without maternal instincts

Romania
August 29, 2012 4:47am CST
I don't know how a mother could leave her child in the care of anyone. one of my relatives is like this. she would rather go to the gym instead of going home and taking care of her daughter. and she leaves her with her grandparents...that kid barely sees her mother and she got to the point where she would call her grandmother ...mother
5 responses
@jureathome (5363)
• Philippines
30 Aug 12
Is this woman married to the man he loves? Perhaps, not. Most of the people I know who have similar situation, are those who had unwanted pregnancies. The babies are really pitiful and they suffer from their parents' mistakes. If this mother will never learn to care for her own child, then perhaps, the child is better off with her grandparents.
• Romania
30 Aug 12
she is not...her grandparents can't teach her as many things as her parents could.she doesn't know how to behave around other children for example and this is thanks to the fact that she was always kept isolated playing with only her dog and her cat.
• Philippines
30 Aug 12
But, if her mother won't even give enough time with her, then, its just as bad as not being taught to act around other people. At least the grandparents can look after her.
• Romania
6 Sep 12
they can look after her that's for sure...but they can't teach her as many things as her mother could. there is an age difference and it's normal for the girl to look for her mother. it's so sad when she leaves her with her grandparents saying that she has to go to work( but she goes out) and the kid starts crying because she wants to be with her mothers.
• United States
29 Aug 12
I guess that it depends upon how much time the child is being left with others and how much time the parents actually spend with the child. Just because you are a parent does not mean that you cannot have a life, but I do think that children also need to be a priority. Exercise is important, so the mother leaving the child with a sitter to go and workout at a gym is not necessarily a bad thing, especially since children are usually not allowed at gyms, but perhaps it would be better if the mother could find a way to get exercise and still spend time with her child, such as taking walks or playing tag or something like that.
• Romania
29 Aug 12
that was just to give an example. she sees her daughter like her sister or something and she always finds more important things to do than to stay with her daughter. I don't think this is right
• United States
30 Aug 12
Like I said, I definitely agree that children need to be our priority, and if the parents are not making the child(ren) a priority, then something should be done. However, it is also important for the parents to have a life of their own that has things in it that do not have to do with the child(ren) ... or at least that is what people keep telling me over and over again ... because it helps them stay balanced, keeps them happier and actually helps them give more focus to the child(ren) when they are together. These other activities do not need to be every day, of course, but at least once a week or in the case of exercise a few times per week at least. I do not really have the luxury of having a life outside of my children, and I do not regret it. However, there are definitely times when I would love to just be able to go to the movies or go out to dinner or go shoot pool or do something like that and not worry or feel guilty about leaving my child with someone for a couple of hours so that I can have some adult time.
@lelin1123 (15645)
• Puerto Rico
6 Sep 12
This is a person who should never had become a mom in my opinion. When it gets to the point that the child is calling her grandma, mom that is a problem. I had to leave my two girls with a babysitter because I had to work. However, I rushed home everynight to get to my girls. I did not go out with the girls from the office after work or hang out to all hours at a gym. I went straight home to be there for my girls. Cook dinner, prepare clothes and lunches for school the next day, homework, and bedtime stories. I could not imagine not being there for my kids.
• Romania
6 Sep 12
unlike you she doesn't appreciate this kind of things. she would rather go out than spend time with her child. it's such a sad story. and you're right she doesn't deserve the gift God gave her. but there isn't any problem..the tables turn one way or another
@GemmaR (8527)
29 Aug 12
I don't understand the people who have children and then don't seen to want to spend any time with them at all. I can understand if you have to work to be able to earn money to keep your children happy and clothed, but if you don't have anything better to do and you just then choose to let someone else look after your child then I would say that you should have considered that you would have felt like this before you had children in the first place. I have a friend who had a daughter when she was 16, and her Mother ended up adopting the child because there was no interest in it at all. The child is very happy now and is much better off, but I do think my friend was very wrong to have a child that she didn't really want.
@toniganzon (38544)
• Philippines
29 Aug 12
That is so sad. I have a friend who left her son to and daughter to the care of their grandmother, while she was hitting off the gym and sleeping with the gym instructor. Last December, her son missed his Christmas Party because mama came home without a present for his exchange gift. I don't know how she could live being happy while her children were left alone and unhappy.