spitting in the wash-basin !!!!!!!!

@Dassodils (2010)
India
August 31, 2012 11:38am CST
Hai my dear friends... Now I like to share some thing with you..I have a grandmother.And she stays with us.She will always quarrel with me.She make me mad all time..But she like us.Sometimes she will show her love by bringing any favourit things to us.Now the main problem is that her habbit.She is about 70.I am the person who cook and clean in the kitchen.she will spit in the wash-basin.I don't like that.I had told her this before.But she always continue this habbit.I don't know that how to control her from doing this.Because of that thing,I said that I will not clean wash-basin.Then my grandma agreed that she will do that.I hate her attitude.She says that This is not a bad habbit.It's really unbearable.What do you think about this?? Do you have any relatives like this??How to solve this problem??How to convince her??I want your suggestions...Please...
5 people like this
22 responses
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
31 Aug 12
hi wow t hats really yucky and so unsanitary .,tell her her saliva has bacteria in it and puts those in the wash basin then maybe she will heed you.or find some pictures of bacteria from the mouth and show her what she is spitting up in that wash basin.Her age does not matter as it sounds like she has been doing t his for many years. r
3 people like this
@wittynet (4421)
• Philippines
1 Sep 12
I agree with you! It's not because of old age. It's because it's one of her habits. She has been doing it since childhood.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
1 Sep 12
I also have an elderly relative who have some bad habits. His son would always argue with him because of his unhygienic habits. He just wouldn't listen. I also agree it's not because of old age. My relative had been stubborn for years and is too proud to admit his mistakes. His wife is the exact opposite. She is more agreeable and pay attention to her son's advice.
@thanks1961 (7035)
• India
31 Aug 12
Many of our old people are like this and it is practically difficult to correct them as they are used with their habit. Some of the elders are very much punctual in their habit and they may be more careful on such things. But some are not. In some houses they won't even clean the toilets and others at home may feel irritated on this. The main reason is that in their earlier life, they enjoyed the open space and the closed house and system which we now follows are much suffocating for them and they won't care of it. One of my relatives place there is a similar case. They made the home with new vertified flooring and tiles and all are keeping the floor so neat and tidy. But his mother is so casual and whenever goes out and around the home, she will just enter the home with plan foot with dust and some time muddy also. Everyone used to say that use the chapels while going out, but she won't listen as she is so used with it. Similarly, you try to tell your grand mother so nicely and sweetly and see how she behaves. Mostly she won't mind. But now tell her that for this time I will clean it, and if found again, you need to clean the same (just say and see). Anyway, try to cooperate with her ans she is elder and we need to adjust with them.
2 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
31 Aug 12
thanks I am 85 and very germ conscious so o not blame this on her age as she has probably done this since age 40.we are not all dirty or senile heaven forbid.85 to me is just a damned number not a set thing that old people are dirty or stu pid or senile at all. most of us are active and intelligent and hate' hearing all the stuff people say we are. bah not true.
1 person likes this
• India
3 Sep 12
Hi Hatley, I am not blaming or finding fault with any of the elders, and in fact I am lover of elder people and I have worked voluntarily for 'helpage India', one organisation exclusively standing for the elderly people. And also, my mom also somewhat in your age ie 87-88 or more, and as you said she is also much particular on neatness and cleanliness. Why I said in that manner is that we here in India, people who living in big homes and always work in the filed (as farmers and agricultrarists) we (the family members) would be alwys out and may be engaged in many farm related works. And there may be works of about 8-10 people daily and we have to prepare food for them and my mom was used to handle all the works, food, feeding, and many more. And the the house we had at that time with 13-15 rooms and it was a huge house. So, it was unable to keep so tiedy at all times and won't be possible to take care of each and everything on a daily basis. And she lived in such life for her best time and all of a sudden, when she moved to a city and compressed to live in a 2 room kitchen apartment on the higher floor found so uneasy and restless and even she also did the same for few days. But we corrected her and she herself improved in few days time, and was giving explantion that I got aged boy, please co-operate. This doesn't mean that she is ignored or ignorent. He is better aware about her self and was telling that there may be some small mistakes, but don't consider it as mistake but we are elders and sometime won't take care of few silly things and please understand and adjust. So, she explains in her early 90s and we are so good to her. Even now, she do all household work and in good health. So, why I said it was at times, they will be of their own world and won't think much about other things, and in such case, we should adjust with them and not to find fault with them. This was my message and if you got wrongly interprted, I am really sorry for it and I didn't meant that the elders are bad or out of their way. They are the jewels and I respect them very mcuh as I know what is their value and I got experienced with it. When my grandmother experied at the age of 101, she was in good health and had a best sense of humar and really great nature also.
@wittynet (4421)
• Philippines
31 Aug 12
I am sorry to hear that, Dassodils. I know how it feels because I also have some problems with my parents. My mother is 61 and my father is 71. Both of them have some bad habits which we can no longer correct. They always get offended when we try to correct them. We're always doing our best to explain to them what's right and wrong, but they never listen most of the time. I know the reason why. Both of them always feel insulted because they can't accept the fact that they're wrong, that their daughters and son are teaching them what's right and wrong. It's so difficult to correct that because your grandmother is so hard headed like other oldies.
2 people like this
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
31 Aug 12
Spitting seems to be habbit in some cultures. In mine it's not a sign of well behaviour, same with men peeing outside on the street, in the garden, against a tree. The police will give you a high bill for that. I don't know how it's in your culture and why your granny started with it? If you are sick btw it's not a problem, well actually we prefer it there instead of on the floor.. but who is making it dirty has to clean it up too. Have to admit I prefer spitting in the sink above spitting on the floor or outside also. I doubt you can convince her of something she is already doing for .... years. She is the eldest so I think you have to accept it for the time she is there and agree (be satisfied) she offers to clean it up herself.
1 person likes this
@Dassodils (2010)
• India
4 Sep 12
She is my grand ma.That's why I am obeying her.Thank you
@jkct02 (2874)
• Kota Kinabalu, Malaysia
31 Aug 12
Provide her a spittoon. Even a cup just for that purpose. It is not easy to change the habit of the elders. But don't be upset by it and get into a quarrel. It is something just it is. Just accept it. She is 70. If she can not change then do something to help her. She is grandmother.
2 people like this
@Dassodils (2010)
• India
4 Sep 12
There have such things in my home.But she is not using that.and her aim is disturbing me. that's why she do like this.
@Shavkat (137193)
• Philippines
31 Aug 12
As they said, it is difficult to teach the old dogs a new tricks. Maybe, your grandmother is in a stage of regression. They used to be like a child again, a reborn phase of their life.
@missjahn (4574)
• Philippines
1 Sep 12
i agree with you. for us who have the ability to do what we want because of our younger ages compared to her grandma, it is not right thing to do, of course. but for her, maybe it is the right thing to do, so that is why so stubborn to follow your instructions given to her even how hard you tried.
@Dassodils (2010)
• India
3 Sep 12
I tried my best to change her concept.She will obey me on that time.Then when I am not with her,She will again do the same thing.I hate this type of character.Really difficult to deal with them..I salute the people who live with this type of old people.Thank you..
@shaggin (71659)
• United States
31 Aug 12
My mother was always really strict about this. No spitting anything out in the kitchen sink. The bathroom sink is ok to spit in but not her kitchen sink. Here I dont worry about that. My kids can brush their teeth in the kitchen sink if the other is brushing their teeth in the bathroom. The next time I do dishes I just wash it out with comet or rubbing alochol before doing the dishes.
31 Aug 12
I am funny like that with my kitchen sink too. I don't even want to see my kid brush teeth in my kitchen.
@atleya (946)
• Indonesia
6 Sep 12
It is really a very bad habit. I hope you can be patient, because however, she is your grandma.
• Philippines
7 Sep 12
Hi there. I know this must really be hard for you to tolerate especially since she does this all the time. It's like you're cleaning up her mess everyday and even though how much you tell her not to, she still does it. I know this is a bad habit, but please be patient. She's old and as they said, older people are harder to teach new things, or in her case to break a bad habit. Remain respectful of her because she is still your grandmother and even though this things she does irritates you, just think of the good things or good times you've had with her instead of focusing on her bad habit. She's still your family and still a part of you no matter what. Just be patient okay?
@asliah (11137)
• Philippines
7 Nov 12
hi, i don't have that kind of relative who have a habit to spit in wash-basin,i think to solve this problem try your relative always remind to not spit in the wash-basin because its really hard to force them to change their habit.and i am thankful because i don't have that kind of relative.
@squallming (1775)
• Malaysia
24 Mar 13
I don't like people spitting in the wash basin too. Fortunately, no one in my family spit in the wash basin. However, I am living in the campus dormitory now, so there are other undergraduates that love to do that and basically we are all sharing the same laundry room. They like to spit in the wash basin, throw the remaining of food and some rubbish into it. Recently someone was about to throw the cats' dump into it but I was there, so he couldn't do it. I have trouble myself trying to make them behave more like human.
@prashu228 (37526)
• India
31 Aug 12
hi this happens mostly with old people, i have seen such people, but nothing to hate, even though it happens because we don't like it, they cant really get rid of this habit easily, it takes time for them, so be with patience, if she wanted to leave the habit she can , it depends on her, but as she is too old we cant force her too, talk to her , with love and make her understand the problem , tell her about the germs and bacteria, that comes from our mouth, may be she will come to know and stop it
1 person likes this
@SaifuMak (61)
• India
1 Sep 12
Which wash basin do you mean? Is it the one where we wash plates or the one where we wash hands? If it is the first one, it is not a good thing.. Try to have a deal with her and don't make silly fights. God bless you.
@Dassodils (2010)
• India
26 Mar 13
Thank you Saifu for your reply.I meant that one we use to clean plates.Now,I will clean call her when I see that the wash basin is seeing bad.Thank you..
• Hyderabad, India
5 Oct 15
be generous to ur grandmother.just tell her to on the tap after she spits.it will go easily.dont let it retrain on the basin.saliva will dry and cleaning will be messy.u can buy washbasin cleaning brushes with handle.it will be easy to clean using brushes. u can do one more thing.give her 1 plastic cover fitted in small mug.everytime she can spit in that without getting up.change that cover frequently at avoid bacterial infections.
@Canellita (12029)
• United States
3 Sep 12
You grandmother is 70, my grandfather is 90! Just imagine even more stubborness and difficulty. You will never convince her to stop; she doesn't think it is bad. The only thing you can do is clean the basin before you use it.
@allknowing (130067)
• India
1 Sep 12
You will have to swallow all your anger and handle her with love. No other way. If it is the kitchen sink then it is awful. You must be having a sink in your bathroom or next to it which I suppose she can use. Keep some disinfectant ready there and pour it after she does that. It is no doubt a nuisance but inevitable. Also you can tell her how bad it is for health if one does that in the kitchen sink.
@verolop29 (1096)
• United States
1 Sep 12
I don't really know what to say but in my line of work there is this one man who spits in the sink and every time I go on there to clean his room I see it and I'm like gagging and it sooo gross it looks like slime really disgusting. I told my boss but she didn't do anything about it. And it's just that one man that does that. Everyone else is fine. I can't ask him to stop bcuz its his home. I will have to endure...: )
@sasi1021 (82)
• India
1 Sep 12
Dassodils this is common with old age people. They will do it as it is their habbit now she aggreed that she will clean the wash basin. Or tell her dont spit on that wash basin and give her a mug tell her to spit in that then your problem will be solved. You will be happy and her also will be happy for understanding her.
• Philippines
31 Aug 12
Hi Dassodils! I understand your dilemma. Most probably, her inability to follow your request is because of stubborness that goes with aging. :D I think inorder for you to stop feeling miserable is for you to accept your grandmother's behavior and adjust. It is difficult but once you were able to accept that it's already difficult for her to do that, out of your love and support for her, you can overcome it. Most of the time we cannot change the circumstances in our lives. All is there to change is our behaviour towards it. :D
• Philippines
31 Aug 12
Old habits are hard to break. Old people,like your grandmother,are very sensitive.And also, she might have been showing signs of regression.I understand where you are coming from because my dad sometimes spit in the sink where plates and glasses are washed.But he doesn't do it very often only when he's having colds or cough and the phlegm stick on the tiles (yikes!!!!) We all know that phlegm contains a lot bacteria and viruses. It is really unsanitary and disgusting. Here's what you can do: 1. Always disinfect the wash-basin and kitchen sink with boiled water. 2. Provide a basin ,for her use only, where she can spit at least her spit won't go all over the sink.