Ever wonder if you're doomed to be a worrier?
September 7, 2012 1:44pm CST
I got it good right now, I know that. I'm healthy, we don't have real money worries. But I'm stressing anyway!?! I had a full time job I hated. Last fall my Dad passed away and I paid off our mortgage with my inheritance, so I thought I'd quit my job. Then I thought about how hard it would be to get another one if I wanted one, so I held off. My boss then changed my full time job to a part time job and I love it. I can clean my house, go shopping, and do lots of stuff so I have the weekend free. It's great. But noooo..... I'm worried about how I'm going to get all that work done with half the hours. I should just do what I can and let them realize that's all they can expect in those hours but still the little voice in my head won't let me. So this week I'm having terrible abdominal pains that I think are related to stress and I just wish there was a cure for this stressful, worry wart personality!
1 person likes this
• Tucson, Arizona
9 Sep 12
Been there, done that got the tee shirt LOL. Even before I developed all my current anxiety disorders and agoraphobia, I was a worry wart. This is going to sound really dumb, considering I am 47-- but I have a stuffed bunny. A pink one. Years ago, I had a whole bunch of messed up stuff happen in my life, and the last straw was my favorite cat dying unexpectedly-- I am a total cat person, and Goldie was my best friend. I was devastated. Her favorite toy had been a pink stuffed bunny that had belonged to my younger son when he was a baby-- she used to sleep with it all the time. So I took that bunny to bed, and over the years I have cried all over him, and slept with him every night, and I tell him all my worries and stupid things I can't even tell my other half. My other half understands that pink rabbit is necessary for my mental health-- even my shrink says so LOL. I am sooo lucky he is an understanding man! Pink rabbit goes everywhere with me when I have to leave the house, and every night while I take a bath I close the door, sit him on the toilet lid and tell him my secrets. Believe it or not, it helps-- kind of like a kid with a security blanket. It wouldn't have to be a rabbit, I suppose-- I also keep a diary, and a happy book, and an emotional withdrawal box. Those can help the worry wart thing. The happy book is a little notebook and every day I write down 10 things or more that make me smile-- and when I feel a panic attack coming on, I take out the book, and read what I have written down so far, and concentrate on the happy stuff. Keeping a happy book really helps me focus on how many nice things I still have in my life, despite my health problems (physical and mental). The emotional withdrawal box is a box with a hole in the lid-- a small one. When something worries me, I write it down, put the date on the paper, and put it in the box-- then I am not allowed to think about it any more. It's the box's problem, not mine. Once a week I open the box, read each thing-- if it still bugs me, I re-date it and put it back. If it doesn't, I tear it up and flush it down the toilet. This has taught me that things that seem like a big deal usually go away on their own over time-- without me doing anything. I don't HAVE to try to do something about everything anymore. Re-reading my journal every six months also helps, because I can see my progress over time-- someting you usually don't see when you are living it. My shrink also wrote me a prescription to panic-- every night, before I take my bath, I go in the bedroom, hold a pillow, and I am supposed to cry, scream and panic for 10 minutes. It sounds really weird, but I actually have a lot fewer panic attacks these days, and a lot less stomach trouble-- when I have an issue during the day, I read the happy book, put the issue in the box, hug my bunny and if I still am having problems I just keep telling myself I only have to make it to panic time and I'll be fine. There are still a lot of days where I can't even go out to the mailbox-- but on the other hand, the day before yesterday a friend and I drove up to Mt Baker, To Artist's Point-- here in Washington State. If you look online, you'll see how pretty it is-- I had never been, because it's an hour from home. I haven't been more than 1/2 hour from home in years now-- but we packed a picnic and pink rabbit and the box and my cameras, and I actually managed to drive up there-- we took pictures, I walked around, I went in a gift shop, and I actually talked to 4 total strangers-- all in one day. When I told my other half on the phone (he's away on business)-- he was so happy he started crying. I am still trying to recover, since I hadn't been away from home for more than an hour and a half in over two years-- but boy, was it worth it! when I get my pictures back, I'll post them here. If I could manage to have a day like that, then you can easily get control of the worry wart thing, believe me! Look at how very lucky you are: You can work-- outside your house! You can go to grocery stores, and parks, and movies-- you probably have actual friends that aren't only online (I have 3 people I can tolerate being with other than my other half and my two boys-- that's it). I bet you jump in the car and drive wherever you wish without a second thought, and eat out, and laugh a lot--- you are so very lucky, Christine! You can live all day, every day, in the real world-- something I haven't been able to do for years now :-). My Lot IS my world, even when I only read what you write-- I read all about all your lives here, every day-- all the little things you take for granted, your gripes, your happy times, everything. As a worry wart, you can consider yourself a total failure-- take it from me, I'm a professional worry wart :-) . I for one am proud of you-- because you can do so many things that a lot of people can't do, myself included. I wish I had your strength, and your confidence. You and all the other people here, all your friends, are amazing to me-- so stop worrying, and keep living, because if you don't then I'll have nothing interesting to read about anymore LOL.
• United States
9 Sep 12
chyrstalia, you need to have a website - do you? It would be a place to go when people like me go to learn to get over ourselves. You are absolutely right and reading your comment has made me realize that. Considering how illogical it is for me to be stressing right now tells me it has to be something chemical?? I was put on antidepressants for hot flashes, but I have had doctors tell me I have anxiety issues. Most recently I have been told there's been an improvement, that when this particular doctor (gyno/oncologist) first met me he thought he'd have to peel me from the ceiling. I've gone through a few antidepressants over the last nine years for hot flashes, and although at the time it was never mentioned, it was probably for anxiety as well. I always assumed they'd work and have pretty much, but sometimes anxiety attacks me anyway. Not to the extreme of a full-blown attack - been there - can't eat, can't sleep, can't do anything but dwell on something over and over - those attacks haven't been around (thank you, thank you). You brought up agoraphobia. I've been wondering if I'm headed in that direction myself. The more I'm home, the more I don't want to go out. I have to force myself to drive to the grocery store. I don't feel anxiety, I always just feel like I want to go home?? I work only 2 miles from home, the grocery store is only about 2 miles or less from here so now that you mention it, I so rarely go anywhere out of that circle. When I do somebody else is driving. Maybe I should force myself out of the comfort zone. I always thought maybe I should actually just get professional help, but always felt I don't have that kind of time. I always figure, I'm functioning, buck up and get on with it. But after reading all of these suggestions you've been given to help - that aren't medicine - I'm impressed with what's possible in actual treatment. Oops maybe some of those were your own ideas? The Rx to panic was from your shrink, maybe the rest were yours? In any case, you do sound like you have a handle on it though. I know you suffer anyway but you know what to do, you know from your withdrawal box that time alone will help. AND you sound like you have one of the best kind of partners anyone could ask for. You made great progress with the trip you were on and you should feel proud of that and try to do that more often. Well, as my Dad always said, if you're feeling sorry for yourself or worrying over something stupid, go visit a hospital and then you'll realize how lucky you are. Thanks Chyrs for waking me up!
• United States
8 Sep 12
Your supervisor changed your hours to part time and can't really expect you to complete the same amount of work that you once did. Take a moment to map out your day-and set routines. I used to have a job that involved a lot of paperwork-I began to get overwhelmed until I realized that different tasks were due on different days. Some things I had to do each day, so I'd make piles as I went through the daily mail. And those things that didn't need to be done were filed until I was ready to work on them. And I'd go through that pile until it was gone. But I managed to finish my work each week! Don't let your inner voice sabotage you-were you always able to handle your work before? Perhaps a talk with your supervisor is in order-outline your priorities there. And DON'T take on additional duties.
• United States
8 Sep 12
I know that inner voice is a killer. I feel like a little kid that thinks they HAVE to get it done or there will be trouble. Logic tells me that it's impossible to get 10 lbs of potatoes out of 5 lb bag, but it bothers me anyway. I WANT the part time, I'm thrilled about it and no one is giving me grief about the work, it's all me. Remember when you were in school you always thought bad things you did were going to end up on "your permanent record." Then I grew up and thought - what permanent record? But that darn inner voice... Thanks for your thoughts and when my inner voice gives me grief I'll remember "don't let your inner voice sabotage you" ;-)