How would you react if your date finds their cellphone more interesting than you

@Porcospino (18396)
Denmark
September 10, 2012 5:38pm CST
I was watching some videos on YouTube tonight. The videos are called "very bad dates" and some of them are quite funny. In every video the man meets a new girl, but he never finds the perfect girl. One girl is very jealous, one girl is a racist, one girl is much younger than he thought (a teenager), one girl is looking for a copy of her father and one girl spends most of the time sending and receiving messages on her cellphone. It was the last girl that inspired me to start this discussion and my question is: What would you do if it happened to you? You are on a date with somebody and the person constantly writes text messages to other people. How do you react? Do you leave? Do you politely ask the person to put the phone away? Do you say something sarcastic/ironic? Do you continue the date without mentioning the cellphone? Do you react in a different way? How?
7 people like this
29 responses
@chiyosan (30206)
• Philippines
14 Sep 12
Ha if my date would be more interested in his cellphone than talking with me... or if i just see him pull out the cellphone and stays with it for more than a couple of minutes while he knows i am right in front of him... i would definitely walk out on him so he'd know how to treat a person right. that is so much a disrespectful act!
@jaiho2009 (39001)
• Philippines
11 Sep 12
If my date is more interested with his mobile phone I would gladly tell him that he should have dated his mobile phone. I will say "thank you" for wasting my time and off I go.
1 person likes this
@Devilova (5396)
• Indonesia
11 Sep 12
I will write this word and send it to Him "Did you know how it feel like, being ignored? Look like I never exist, even I was in the front of your eyes. Thing that I hate in my entire life, being ignored. Just want you to know that I could be a lot better then you. If and only if you want me to do the same thing like what you have done to me. Being Ignorer". Look how his face!!
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (18396)
• Denmark
13 Sep 12
Hi Jaiho! Dating the mobile would probably be a better choice, the phone and him seem inseparable, so they would probably be very happy together Hi Devilova! I would like to see his face if you tell him that. Hopefully he would be embarrassed and regret that he ignored you. I think that is very rude to ignore the person you are dating and focus on your cellphone, and if it happened to me I would also tell him what I thought about his behaviour.
@Devilova (5396)
• Indonesia
20 Sep 12
Relationship has to be based on care, not an ignorance. I will tell to Him about His feeling on this situation.
1 person likes this
@Devilova (5396)
• Indonesia
11 Sep 12
I was the kind of person who really2 hate being ignored. I even ever wrote my feeling about being ignored to a discussion in Mylot. I will ask, which one you are dating with? Me or that phones?
@Porcospino (18396)
• Denmark
20 Sep 12
I would also feel ignored in that situation and I would feel that I was wasting my time with that man. I think that it is very rude to focus on your phone when you are on a date with someone because it is an indirect way of saying that you don't find the other person interesting. Fortunately I have never experienced that situation, but I think that it would make me angry to get ignored like that and I wouldn't feel like continuing the date. He probably wouldn't even notice that I left since he was so busy with his phone.
@Devilova (5396)
• Indonesia
20 Sep 12
Neither do I, never feel that situation. Hope I won't.
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Sep 12
I don't even like it when friends of mine do that to me, if it ever happened on a date I think I would blow my top. Maybe not literally blow my top, but I'd be pretty upset. I'd probably say something about it, and let them know it bothered me. If they kept doing it I might up and abandon them. It's really rude, and I feel that if you have someone you're supposed to be spending time with during that time, then the phone should really be out of the way, unless there's a crisis blowing up at home or something. But I doubt it.
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (18396)
• Denmark
11 Sep 12
I also think that it is rude and I would get upset if my date did the same thing. When you are on a date you are supposed to spend the time with the person that you are dating, and I think that he or she deserves your full attention. It wouldn't bother me my date had to send one important message, but it would bother me if he was so busy texting that he hardly had time to talk to me and I would feel that I was wasting my time with that time person if he kept on texting. The video that I watched was quite funny and it they exaggerated the behaviour, but I am sure that I wouldn't find it so funny if I actually experienced the situation.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Sep 12
lol, it's always funnier when it's happening to someone else. I think lots of people spend way too much time on their phones. When someone's with me, and yet paying more attention to their phone than me... it makes me feel like I'm competing with a slim little slab of circuits. Not very good for relationships of any kind.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
11 Sep 12
It is indeed rude to send text message when you are talking with someone. If it's a first meeting and I receive a message I will of course ask permission from the person I'm meeting with. May I receive the message? and if he allows me to then I will receive the message of course tell him I'll respond to this message by informing the sender that I have a date so he will not continually send me messages. I will do that as a sign of respect to my date and also I wanted him to do the same to me. Sending messages and receiving message for 3 times is tolerable but if it's more than that, then I will of course ask my date politely if he needs more time to answer those message cause it seems that he needs it. Then I will postpone the date. Sometimes someone is not paying attention because their not interested, instead of politely saying this honestly they are responding it in a rude manner.:(
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (18396)
• Denmark
11 Sep 12
I think that is the right thing to do. If I was expecting an important message I would ask my date if it was okay that I replied to the message and after that I would put the phone away. In the message I would tell the person that I couldn't continue the conversation at the moment and would get back to him or her after the date. The rest of the time I would focus on my date and spend the time chatting with him. If my date had to send an important text message that wouldn' bother me, but it would bother me if he continued to send text messages, and I think that it is rude to send text message after text message when you are on a date.
• Philippines
11 Sep 12
yah, it's not really good when person is doing this thing to us. It's a kind of insulting us.
1 person likes this
@KOSTAS499 (1625)
• Greece
10 Sep 12
It would be fun to...just leave. But there is a chance she wouldn't notice...
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (18396)
• Denmark
10 Sep 12
Yes, she probably wouldn't notice. You would have to send her a text message with the word: "Bye" if you wanted to get her attention
@KOSTAS499 (1625)
• Greece
10 Sep 12
I would send her "I have left money on the table".
1 person likes this
@jpso138 (7868)
• Philippines
18 Sep 12
I will respect her doing the text. But one thing is sure, I will never date her again. From the looks of it, there is no interest in so far as you and the girl is concerned. Otherwise, she would have the time to talk and get to know you more. Unless otherwise the test was about an emergency situation.
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
20 Sep 12
you're right, jpso, if she busy with her cellphone, it means she is not interest with date! wasting time...
1 person likes this
• Philippines
11 Sep 12
i will tell him that he just do the texting later and took time to spend with because thats very irritating the one infront of you having a date is busy with texting and maybe that's another girl very insulting. I think if he like to text he don't need to date with me. hehe lol
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (18396)
• Denmark
20 Sep 12
When you go on a date you expect to spend time with the other person and it is annoying to date a person who prefers to spend time with his cellphone. I would never spend the time texting other people I was on a date. I think that it is disrespectful to do that and I would get annoyed if I was dating someone who did that to me. I would see it as a sign that the other person wasn't that interested in me and I would feel that it was a waste of time and to initiate a conversation with someone who focused on their phone instead of our meeting.
@mikyung (2234)
• Philippines
11 Sep 12
I would ask my date, if she need more time on texting or I will just go away for a while to let her feel what she is doing to me. A taste of one's own medicine as what they call it, if it does not work, I will just ask her what is her feeling towards everything and leave. I will meet her when she will be ready for giving her full attention to me. Thanks
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (18396)
• Denmark
20 Sep 12
If you go away for a while it would be similar to the thing that she is doing to you. She is physically present, but she isn't mentally present since she is so busy with her phone. I wonder how she would react in that situation and whether she would understand the situation was similar to the things she did to you. Some girls would probably get the message and start paying attention to the conversation when you return. The girl in the video was so busy texting that she didn't even notice it when the guy left, and I guess he didn't come back.
• India
11 Sep 12
If that would have come to me I start sending messages more rapidly. And ask her how much can she send in a minute. if she says 10 i say i do 20 in one minute.
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (18396)
• Denmark
20 Sep 12
Text message competition, that is a different way of handling the situation I don't think that I would dare to challenge my date, because I am not especially fast and he would probably win
• Philippines
11 Sep 12
I think I'd be very annoyed, because that's just unethical to be focusing on texting while on a date. I'll probably carry on with a conversation and be polite but will never go out with that person again.
@Porcospino (18396)
• Denmark
20 Sep 12
I would also find it annoying and I would feel that my date wasn't really interested in my company. I think that it is rude to text other people when you are on a date. Of course it is okay to send a message if it something really important, but I would expect my date to put the phone away after that. I am quite sure that I wouldn't feel tempted to go on another date with that person! Fortunately I have never experienced that situation and my husband and I didn't even touch our cellphones on the first date, we were too busy chatting
@salonga (27955)
• Philippines
11 Sep 12
Unless my date has emergency reasons why he keeps his focus on his cellphone I don't think I can tolerate spending time any longer with him. So, if my date finds his cellphone more interesting than me then I'd politely tell him I need to go home. I won't really show my annoyance but I would insist to just go home which I think he will surely like anyway. For one, I don't think that guy is interested in me and his way of telling me this thing is by focusing his attention on something else. I therefore should know how to read his body language. Why do we have to spoil our night by keeping company in this kind of situation?
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (18396)
• Denmark
14 Sep 12
If my date had some serious problems or if there was some kind of emergency I would understand that he needed to use the phone, but in that situation I would expect my date to explain the situation to me so that I knew what was going on. If it is not an emergency I think that it is rude to text other people all the time and it would give me a really bad expression of my date. I would probably leave if it happened to me, because I would feel that it was a waste of time to be with a person who was more interested in communicating with other people during the date and I would think that he probably wasn't very interested in me.
@myfb2009 (8304)
• Malaysia
11 Sep 12
Porco, so far i haven't gone through this type of experience myself. If i ever had a date whom so interested with sending and receiving messages, then i will surely tell my date politely that he can get busy sending and receiving messages and i won't interrupt him. Only by saying that way, i am sure he will know what i mean. Luckily, my boyfriend is not like that. If he did that way, i will surely ask him to have date with his cellphone.
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (18396)
• Denmark
14 Sep 12
Fortunately I haven't experienced that situation either. When my husband and I met for the first time we didn't even touch our cellphones, we were too busy chatting to eachother and the time passed really fast. I don't want to go on a date with someone who constantly sends text messages to other people and I think that it is very impolite to do that when you are on a date. I wouldn't feel like continuing the date if the other person was so busy texting because I would feel that it was a waste of time.
11 Sep 12
It seems that a date that keeps on texting is either bored or not just interested or maybe feels awkward. You first try to make her feel relaxed and strike up a conversation. If it still doesn't work then its your cue that she's not really into dating you.
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (18396)
• Denmark
13 Sep 12
You mentioned something that I hadn't thought about - the fact that the person that you date could be feeling awkward. It possible that he or she would try to "hide" behind the phone for instance because they are shy and find the face-to-face conversation difficult. I think that it would be a good idea to make the person feel relaxed at first and if they start feeling comfortable they might stop texting and focus on the conversation. If they continue to text other people while you try to strike up a conversation they probably aren't interested in you.
@Shavkat (65270)
• Philippines
11 Sep 12
If I am the guy, I will definitely feel disrespected. That actuation was a very rude thing to do.
@Porcospino (18396)
• Denmark
11 Sep 12
Yes, it is rude to pay more attention to your cellphone. It is an indirect way of the telling the other person that you don't appreciate their company and I would feel that I was wasting my time I was dating someone who prefered to spend their time on their cellphone.
@silverfox09 (4727)
• United States
11 Sep 12
I would say that person is having a hard dating life lol ... The world is full of crazy people and they will come out . I also like watching those funny videos on YouTube . I watch one with a Jamaican man dating an American girl lol he take her to a west indies restaurant and he spend so much time talking to everyone he know and not giving his date mush attention .
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (18396)
• Denmark
11 Sep 12
I also like to watch that kind of videos on YouTube. I found the videos called "Very bad dates" by coincidence. I was actually looking for something else, but then I started watching the videos and some of them were very funny. Poor guy, he really met some crazy women One of the women gave him a shoe because she thought that the guy and her were the perfect pair and the shoe was supposed to symbolise that. Another woman told him and he was her soulmate...about 3 seconds after they met. They video that you watched also sounds funny. I am sure that his date didn't appreciate his behaviour.
@amoyube1980 (2233)
• Somalia
11 Sep 12
I would probably start texting as well. We won't be hearing from each other anymore after that date because it was obvious that we were not into each other. Probably will try to part ways amicably and wish the date a great life.
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (18396)
• Denmark
11 Sep 12
If I experienced that situation on a date I would also conclude that we weren't going to meet again, because things obviously didn't work out between us. The video that I watched was quite funny. The girl was so busy texting that she hardly listened to the things that her date said and hardly found time to answer his questions. But watching it on video is one thing, if I actually experienced the situation in person I don't think that I would find it funny and I would probably end the date before I had planned and find someone else to spend my time with.
@Ollanna11 (372)
• United States
10 Sep 12
I would wonder why Im on the date with this fool. Text messaging isn't reason enough to ignore your date. Of course their are exceptions like an emergency. Buisness matters can wait you should treat your date like you would have before cell phones came into existance. Have some table manners, people!
@Porcospino (18396)
• Denmark
11 Sep 12
I agree with that. I don't think that text messages is a reason to ignore the person you are dating. You usually arrange a date because you are interested in spending time together and it is rude to send one text message after another. I think it is okay to send a text message if it something really important, but after that I think that you should put the phone away and focus on the conversation with your date. Text messages aren't that important and when I am on a date I don't read my text messages. I can always read them after the date.
@trisha27 (3498)
• United States
10 Sep 12
Haha that sounds like a show I used to watch I believe came on MTV or BET I'm not sure which channel it came on, but the name of the show was called Hell Date and it was similar to what you described above that they show on YouTube. But anyway, to answer your question, if I was on a date with someone who was constantly texting on their phone, I think I would just leave or I would say something like, wow who is that texting you I sure hope its your mother or Jesus. and if they still didn't get the clue I'd get up and leave him with the check haha, I would be so upset. Because obviously I was not at all important or I was just way too boring for them, because they are sitting there texting someone else. Thankfully my husband doesn't do that when we go out, otherwise I'd tell him to put his phone away lol.
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (18396)
• Denmark
10 Sep 12
I would be upset, too. It is rude to text other people when you are on a date. It is an indirect way of telling the other person that you don't find their company interesting, and I would probably say something ironic. Or maybe it would be best to walk out and leave the person with the check He probably wouldn't notice that I left. Fortunately I have never experienced that situation and my husband doesn't not use his cellphone much when we are out.
@monkmano (586)
• Canada
10 Sep 12
Hi, I would be very hurt by that, I think what id do is be completely upfront and say do you like me at all or want to be on this date? if not then lets just stop this now and you can go home and text some more. better to save the night then spend it with someone who doesn't want to spend it with you.
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (18396)
• Denmark
10 Sep 12
I would also get the impression that the person didn't really want to spend the evening with me. I have never been in the situation and I am not quite sure how I would react. I might say something ironic or joke about it. I think it is rude to text other people all the time when you are on a date. When you go on a date you expect to spend time with the other person and it feels like a waste of time to talk to someone doesn't really listen because they are too busy texting.