My daughter has to move out at the end of the month.

United States
September 10, 2012 8:54pm CST
I don't know if I am going to let her stay here yet. She was here last night and checked her account. why she did not do this before renting the place is another question. well,she is broke and can't afford to live there and pay for her schooling. she told me to leave her alone about school so I will. I am gong to see what happens next month. it is getting cold and she will need to figure something out. I can't understand why she would not have let me help her budget. she asked me before she got that money if I could help her and i said yes. when she got it she hid it from me for a dew weeks. I even took her shopping and she never let me know she had thousands in the bank. what child does this. now she is broke. what a dam disgrace.
3 people like this
21 responses
@krupar5 (287)
• United States
11 Sep 12
Hi again' I am so sorry that you must deal with theses issues. It is so difficult to be a parent, especially when they do not want to listen. I guess tough love is sometimes neccessary. We can only try our best for our children and it is their choice whether they listen to us. They always think we do what we do to make life hard on them. perhaps one day they will understand.
2 people like this
• United States
11 Sep 12
I am going to let her make her waves in life. she thinks I am the bad guy so I plan to let her live her life.
@MoonGypsy (4615)
• United States
11 Sep 12
she is just going through the lessons of life. she is still very young. my mom told me that you never really stop being a parent once they turn 18. you are teaching them how to do more complex life things. she will learn.
2 people like this
• United States
11 Sep 12
And I am going to let her live and learn. she will have to figure something out soon.
• United States
11 Sep 12
She is going to have to figure out soon what her new plans are going to be. Hope she didn't sign a lease. Some places hold you to them. That will really put a damper on her expenses. You mentioned it is getting colder there. What state are you in. Here in Alabama it is still super hot.
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Sep 12
I live in Ny and it is freezing here. My first love is a state trooper where you live.
• United States
11 Sep 12
I am originally from NJ, moved here in May this year.
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
11 Sep 12
You have to put up with your daughter. Your daughter is learning to live. You just need to, give a positive direction. Let your daughter live her life, but you still have to continue to give advice to your daughter. Someday, your daughter will understand your intent.
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Sep 12
she does not want any advice from me. all she wants is to use me when ever she needs something.
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
11 Sep 12
In your daughter's heart, advice from you would be embedded. Never tired, to continue to give advice. Although it looks not accept your advice, your daughter keep your advice.
• United States
11 Sep 12
I told you she would be broke in 3 months. It's a crying shame and she has no one but herself to blame. What about all that expensive stuff she bought? Maybe she can return them to get some of her money back. She has no sense at all Gifts. I'm sorry but that's the truth. I'm so sorry for what you have to go through. You know how she acted in your other house. How can you trust her to not poke holes in your walls and tear your house up? She made her bed. I think she should lie in it. She had to know spending her money like that would break her. How did she think she could support herself. There are shelters in NY. it's time she grew up and got a job. Are you willing to lose your place for her? Sooner or later she would throw a fit about something and tear your house up. This is really sad. It's a crying shame. I do want to cry for you. Your daughter, I don't feel sorry for. She chose her path in life.
1 person likes this
@yoyo1198 (3644)
• United States
12 Sep 12
This is so on target that it should be emblazoned across Sharon's walls.
• United States
11 Sep 12
With all the stress she has created for you I would not allow her to move in with you. You are a great mom and have done everything you could to help her out and for some reason you daughter does not see how great you are and what a terrific mom you are. I wish my parents would have helped me out when I needed them, but sadly they did not help me out. Now randy has a bad knee and can barely walk. His foot is swollen so the doctor cannot get an accurate X-ray of his foot. We need to wait for the swelling to go down and get another X-ray. Does she have any family members she can live with? I am sorry that she will not attend school because an education is last her a lifetime.
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Sep 12
I can't allow her to keep ruining my life and I just hope she finds a place to live with her man and not need me. I will not let her sleep out in the streets.
@911Ricki (13602)
• Canada
11 Sep 12
She needs to take responsibility of this since she spent it all and clearly didn;t think about it either. I hope she figures it out, and doesnt have to keep moving around.
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Sep 12
I know it will be a very long time before she can seethe worng here. so,I will just let them be. I start work this morning and nothing would bring me down in spirits.
@Hatley (157682)
• Garden Grove, California
11 Sep 12
oh my gosh I was so afraid of this with KayKay but now what? look is there anyway you can make her quit spending on that jerk loser boyfriend,he might leave if he thinks she has no money.If he has a criminal record could that give any leverage to get him off of Kaykay he is like a leech bleeding money from her She sure should have let you help her budget. cannot she see that the loser is 'causing her big big problems?oh lord she went through all that money,how on earth? could the loser have caused a lot of that,.Why on earth at her age now cannot she just get a job for now if shes not going to school as she has to surely I m ean what else can she do? Shes attractive and perhaps could get a job as a receptionist or something like that that pays pretty well.She could even model in the right places not some sleazy place of' course.i am sending prayers for Kaykay to get straightened out and find a decent job.
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Sep 12
He got mad and left her last night because she would not give him money to smoke with. she will have to lean on him even harder now because she will be out of options once everyone gets pissed off.
@lelin1123 (15645)
• Puerto Rico
11 Sep 12
This is why I'm so against kids getting money to early in their lives. They don't know how to budget. I'm also sure that loser boyfriend took alot of the money too! My niece and nephew received a large inhertance and blew all away on junk. Now they have nothing to show for it. They could have each brought a house and not have a mortgage payment. They spent it on big toys that they don't even have anymore. Shameful! I'm so sorry about this I thought she was doing good financially.
1 person likes this
@cutepenguin (6458)
• Canada
11 Sep 12
She has a few hard events coming up for her, then, if she has no money and her boyfriend is so, let's say, unsupportive. I hope she learns from this, I really do, because the world tends to get harder on people who don't have a place to live.
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Sep 12
This may sound harsh but I have to say this nonetheless, it's time for your daughter to grow up & learn to be more responsible. If you help her out every time something like this happens(which I understand is your first instinct as a Mother)then she will never learn how to make it on her own. This is just one of many of life's hard lessons.
1 person likes this
@yoyo1198 (3644)
• United States
12 Sep 12
You knew this day would come and we even discussed it. I believe at that time you said that you would not be letting her live with you. You've changed your mind?
@much2say (34543)
• United States
11 Sep 12
Gifts, gifts, gifts. I know you love your daughter . . . but enough is enough. Like you said, SHE will need to figure something out. You don't want her to be in the cold, but she has to realize herself that she needs to stay out of the cold. It seems like every time you help her out with something, it gets thrown back in your face. No matter how it breaks your heart to see her like this, she has to learn from her own mistakes. You can give her guidance, but the rest is up to her . . . she will never learn if you keep handling things for her. You've built something good for yourself - you cannot risk that - CANNOT. I just read your other discussion about your light bill . . . all your bills are going to go up again if you let her stay there. And all the things you just freed yourself from are going to come back - I think most of us can almost guarantee that. Thus far it hasn't sounded like she's proved that she's changed at all. So if she says to leave her alone, then leave her alone. Respect her wishes if that's what she wants. But then, she has to learn that she's got to respect her mama if she thinks she can expect any more help.
• United States
11 Sep 12
She's on this path, and she seems determined to stay on it. I don't know what hold that guy has over her, since she had money enough to be financially independent, is pretty enough to catch another (decent) guy, has a mother who would have happily let her stay with her if she didn't have money, is physically able to work, has an education just waiting for her to go after it... What is it that possibly goes on her head that tells her that staying with some lowlife like that is what she should be doing? I guess that she is just going to have to truly hit rock bottom before she figures things out. Hopefully, rock bottom won't involve prison or squatting in some rat-infested shooting gallery.
• India
11 Sep 12
Hi friend, sad to hear about this, i wonder why your daughter is doing this kind of activities? most of the daughters will share their information with their mothers, but your daughter hide every thing from you, anyway you really have a good affection with her.
@Tina30219 (25741)
• Onaway, Michigan
11 Sep 12
She should have thought before she even took the place.I hope she learns her lesson. You are right what a disgrace she should have saved up and got a place she knew she could afford. I hope eventually she comes to her senses and dumps this man she is with and gets back to her schooling.
• United States
11 Sep 12
How did I know it was you? I just looked at the title, and I knew it was you. Hi gifts, well, the time has come, and I am sure you knew that this was going to happen. Okay, is there anyway that she can get financial aid, apply for scholarships, or get a student loan? She may qualify for financial aid, and federal student loans can always be repaid. I know you are mad at her, and you have every right to be, but again, she needs guidance. She thinks that she knows what she is doing, but it is clear that she may not know what she is really doing. My mother never left me alone about my schooling, and I am glad that she never did. I wouldn't be in Grad School today, and I wouldn't have my AA and my BA if it hadn't of been for my mom's encouragement. Sometimes, you have to be her mom and prove to her that if she doesn't become more responsible, then she won't have anything, and I know that she doesn't want that.
@bjc66bjc (6745)
• United States
11 Sep 12
You are so right...its a dam shame...!!!! a totally disgrace.. she didn't get health/life insurance, a car, an apartment, get herself in school, nothing to show for thousands of dollars.. what does she have other than boxes of clothes with really no where to put them...
@lynboobsy11 (11347)
• Philippines
11 Sep 12
I just hope God always find a way to help you and Kay with your problem. I know He has better plan for her, she is still your child what ever happened to her. I know you will do the best that you can to help her.
@riyauro (6431)
• India
11 Sep 12
Oh my god, thousands just spent in weeks? I think she needs to learn her lesson since kids today think they are the ones always right and they would not listen to the parents. Just keep an eye on her but let her learn this and figure this out. I know as a mother what you must be feeling about this but stay calm and she will realize things herself. Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful day ahead.