why?

@mae_ais (105)
Philippines
September 12, 2012 8:23pm CST
i know i've done everything to please my partner. done my responsibilities everyday to my kids and to him still i can see that it wasn't enough. i try not to think of it much but it keeps on popping in to my mind asking what are the things i have or havn't done to my husband to make me feel like this. i just don't know what to do anymore cause as far as i know i did everything to please him(i mean everything if you know what i mean)...
2 people like this
8 responses
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
13 Sep 12
I also feel the same as you. I tried to do all my obligations. But always, made my husband was not satisfied. Each, my husband came home from work, always criticize everything I do. It's as everything I did, did not finish well. I've been trying, doing all my duties, as well as possible. But, there's always wrong, according to my husband. Sometimes, I feel unappreciated.
1 person likes this
@mae_ais (105)
• Philippines
13 Sep 12
i also am not appreciated, and everything.. i just hope my prayers will be answered and efforts won't go to waste..
1 person likes this
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
13 Sep 12
Hopefully, your prayers were answered. And hopefully, our husbands, appreciate our efforts in carrying out our duty, as a wife. Duty, which we did, with great love.
1 person likes this
@mae_ais (105)
• Philippines
18 Sep 12
yes thank you.. may God give us strength, and patience to withstand all trials and God pls enlighten our husbands and open their eyes and hearts.. this may be funny to some but it's true..=)
1 person likes this
@adnileb (5035)
• Philippines
13 Sep 12
The first time you saw him, you met him, and you fell in love with him, is he like the way he is right now? If not, then maybe something is wrong. Maybe when he's sweeter the first time around, he's lying his sweetness ti you. And if his not lying it to you now, the sweetness just went off. And why would it happen? Any person, not so romantic will still show off some appreciation with what you do. And even if a simple appreciation he can't give, then something is wrong. I don't wanna judge your husband and I don't wanna say things directly, but be aware of everything new that's happening. Ask him over and over again until he's finally up with the truth. Tell him exactly how you feel, how you feel with what you do, and how you wanted to react with his attitude. Be real. Don't be afraid of what you might lose because at some point in time, it's their loss, not yours. Good luck to you, mae.
1 person likes this
@mae_ais (105)
• Philippines
18 Sep 12
hello..just talked to him the other night (again).. asked him and told him everything that is bothering me.. he said i was just being paranoid and that nothing has changed, he said he loves me so much but that he is not that romantic kind and showy person..he gave me an assurance that my heart is safe and well kept in him but things will still be the same,no appreciation or anything. he said that there is no need to tell me i'm beautiful or appreciate me because it is already given.. case closed.. lol!=) thanks for the advises and support guys..i really appreciate it..
1 person likes this
@adnileb (5035)
• Philippines
18 Sep 12
no problem... mylot friends are always here for each other..
1 person likes this
• Philippines
18 Sep 12
When everything is set and completed and spoonfeed, sometime it became boring. Your daily routine is like a book he had read everyday. Sometimes, as some books says, we wives whould re-invent ourselves. Be a "different dish" from time to time to make our partner's life full of adventure. Makes some simple reacheable demands that would motivate him and would make him feel he needs to do something for you. Make him feel that if you are enough for him then he is enough for you too and you two had to grow with each other needing each other's help. If he head rules, you should have too. Remember, wives are not just home cleaners, children care taker and a lady in bed. Dont forget about yourself.
@mae_ais (105)
• Philippines
3 Oct 12
will do, thank you for that wonderful advise..happy mylotting..=)
1 person likes this
@flowerchilde (12520)
• United States
13 Sep 12
I used to feel the very same way as you do, and as with you, generosity was not the problem. What I did, was I decided to drop my end of the argument (to get out of the endless cycle of it) also figuring men and women are like opposites, and I had told him my thoughts so why keep repeating them but decided to think of them as seed and have faith they would grow. Things improved, he made small efforts and I appreciated each small effort, consciously doing so. Then over the course of the years we both became more interested in politics, sharing the same views and now we have much stimulating and interesting conversation, plus the years of mutual friends, also gives us much in common. Also as persons, each of us likes our times of alone time or time apart from each other, and I think that strengthens relationships also, having some separate pursuits.. Just my two cents worth! We are a very very happy and devoted couple.
@mae_ais (105)
• Philippines
3 Oct 12
wow,hope ours works as well.. thanks for the response=)..
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 Sep 12
I am sorry to hear about your story. I don't have the right to say this for I am not an expert, I don't even have the right to give you an advice since I just got married this year, but since you posted it in mylot; I believe that you would appreciate our thoughts for your discussion I think you and your husband needs time to talk. Tell him about what you are feeling right now. Tell him that you are breaking into pieces, your heart is breaking because of what you feel. Tell him why he isn't satisfied despite the fact that you almost did everything to please him. Sometimes in life we are trying to our partner in our own way without letting them know how much we care and love them. We have our different ways of caring, we are our own differences and these differences would sometimes cause disagreement or even fighting. So it's really necessary to communicate and ask. If you already did it, then have some break. Maybe you did so much that he's not able to see it.
1 person likes this
@mae_ais (105)
• Philippines
13 Sep 12
yes, thanks BethelSophia..
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (49185)
• Philippines
13 Sep 12
That's very sad that he can't seem to be satisfied with what you do for him. They said a wife must be a mother, a friend, a lover and a househelp and a mistress all at the same time. It's a very demanding job and yet it's sad that sometimes it's still not enough. I think you have to talk to your husband. It might just be a misunderstanding between you two. Sometimes we think we have done everything to be a perfect partner, but they don't think so. He must have a different concept. I hope everything will be all right between the two of you soon.
@mae_ais (105)
• Philippines
13 Sep 12
thanks toniganzon=)..
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164671)
• Garden Grove, California
13 Sep 12
hi mae__ais Did it ever occur to you that having done all you know humanly to do, that it could be your demanding husband who is to blame and not you. A loving husband does not want a slave and a housekeeper,child tender etc he wants a wife to love and care for. I would sit down and have a long heart to heart talk with your husband and tell him you cannot do more than is humanly possible for you to do so whats the deal? be honest and open and make him hear how you really feel.
@mae_ais (105)
• Philippines
13 Sep 12
hello Hatley. i did try to talk to him, ask him everything calmly. he just said that it is just the way he is, he's not romantic, doesn't know how to appreciate even the smallest effort etc, yet he loves to chat to her girl friends as if he is much happier chatting/talking w/ them than w/ me.. he used to be sweet and everything good and positive when he was still courting me, i asked him where did it all go then he answered those are just things men do to impress girls but eventually disappears after marriage or when you both move in together.it broke my heart.=(
@Dominique25 (9476)
• United States
2 Jan 13
I'm sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time in your marriage. Especially when you do your best to try and make him happy. I hope that in the last four months since you wrote this post that things have become better. I know it can be very hard. My husband and I are having problems.I'm continuing to try and work at it. This is not easy though. He makes it very hard for me. Like you said I do a lot to take care of our family. I work part time, I clean the home,I raise our child,etc. And yet I still get no appreciation. Hopefully in time things will get better.