Life is what you make it

@celticeagle (112952)
Boise, Idaho
September 14, 2012 10:52am CST
I came on the site today feeling reasonably good and positive. I immediately find five different discussions that were negative and had to do with suicide, depression and such. I seriously feel that when people get too deep into their own woes and personal life that they are more apt to become depressed and then even suicidal. It's like a wakeup call. I think that one thing people need to do is reach out when they become extremely depressed and start doing things for others and give of themselves. It is like a red flag has gone up and we need to change our atmosphere. I know that in my case(severe depression with panic attacks) I feel much better when I can give of my time or of myself and not focus too much on myself. What are your thoughts?
6 people like this
21 responses
@echoforever (5192)
• United States
14 Sep 12
The problem with depression is that it makes it hard to do as you say ' reach out '. In fact it turns out so bad sometimes I remember that i just felt completely like a zombie and would just ' go through the motions ' as just to seem normal. If I would have gone on much longer like this I do not know if I'd be here now but, thankfully I am great now. I would agree that this is a necessity however. If you do not reach out then no one is going to know you are this depressed, as I was. So even if they're feeling that low then they need to find that one burst of energy to get some help, and do it without hesitation. For myself it took a long time to get to this point I am now. But I could not have done it at all without my relationship with God. Others may not feel th same of how they can get out of this horrible situation but this is the only way I keep going and do not fall back into that sort of thing.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (112952)
• Boise, Idaho
14 Sep 12
I am glad to hear you are better. Mine is severe and I live with it daily. I reach out on here and feel good about it.
• United States
15 Sep 12
I am sorry to hear this. I am glad you have myLot to come to and help others, there is a wide variety here that will always need some help! I hope one day the fog that you're experience will completely lift as it has for me. One day at a time is all we can do.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (112952)
• Boise, Idaho
15 Sep 12
One day at a time is all I can do. SOme days are better than others.
• United States
14 Sep 12
I totally agree that no focusing on your own troubles will help reduce depression. By reaching out, as you said, you give from your heart and you receive so much more. I used to really enjoy working in a food ministry. We met at a church in town and there was a little devotional and then we handed out the food to each person. I'm not able to do that anymore due to transportation problems and now physical problems but I do enjoy talking to people and helping them if I can.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (112952)
• Boise, Idaho
14 Sep 12
I think it gives most people a boost to help others. Focusing on ourselves too much just makes us more depressed. I don't go out much or interact with others so sometimes I get pretty low.
• United States
14 Sep 12
Oh I see that I missed part of this in my response. I also agree here that we need to focus on others also. I did feel closed in and like no one cared but if I'd looked and seen other people to help, it would have boosted my moral greatly to help those people. I would have felt better to help myself then as well. If we start to feel too closed in we will not even see the other people in need even for the small things we could do, to help ourselves feel better while we help them.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (112952)
• Boise, Idaho
14 Sep 12
So true. Too closed in is not good. Helping others takes us out of our own world and that is a good thing from time to time.
@ANTIQUELADY (36491)
• United States
14 Sep 12
I think most everyone gets depressed, some worse than others. I think if we all would look around we can find alot of people alot worse off than we are. We all need to count our blessings every day. I'm a good listener if u ever need to talk about anything. That goes for all m,y friends. Happy weekend to u.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (112952)
• Boise, Idaho
14 Sep 12
I agree. I good use a talk at times. We shoud exchange emails. Thanks.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36491)
• United States
14 Sep 12
I will pm u my e-mail address.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (112952)
• Boise, Idaho
14 Sep 12
I got it and was so self involved I forgot to give you mine so I re-noted you. Gheez!
@sjvenden27 (1851)
• United States
12 Oct 12
I agree with you Celticeagle.. I am bipolar, depression, panic attacks... and some other things.. anyhow.. I feel so much better when I can come on here and possibly make the world a little brighter for someone else.. With some of the discussion on here it reminds me that no matter how bad I may have it someone else out there has it worst.. Which makes me thankful for what I do have, and not to worry as much about the rest...
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (112952)
• Boise, Idaho
13 Oct 12
Good to hear that it works for you as well. Play it forward.
@RitterSport (2452)
• Germany
30 Sep 12
hi dear celticeagle, I admire you for reaching out to others like you do inspite of the fact you have depression and panic attacks. But there is not an easy yes or no to your question. It may well be that doing something for others will help one snap out of depression casue then the person sees he or she has a positive influence on others situation and feels needed. BUT there also is another side to the coin. You know that I spent almost 1,5 years of my life being forced to do something which didnt agree with me at all. No time for myself any more, no time to even properly care about my own health and of course running on low to no battery for too long. I was more angry than depressed about the whole thing but I learned one thing, you can only help others when you also take care of yourself, recharge your batteries and dont always dance to the unwanted tunes of others.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (112952)
• Boise, Idaho
1 Oct 12
Thank you kind RitterSport, for you kind words. I think that any of us, no matter how aflicted, can find some way to help others. I do enjoy reaching out to young people who are new to relationships and life. So true that we can't really help others unless we also help ourselves.
@winterose (39931)
• Canada
17 Sep 12
Yes you are right, however, some people get so depressed they really don't care anymore. Medication does help to regulate the moods and then as you say you most actively try to make your moods better.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (112952)
• Boise, Idaho
17 Sep 12
See, that is where I get because I have severe depression. If it weren't for the meds I am on I would be panic stricken all the time.
• United Kingdom
15 Sep 12
This is one of the reasons that I like My Lot so much as you can learn lots of things from others here. I have noticed lots of discussions about negativity and doom and gloom and sometimes they get me down as I have felt depressed and isolated in the past. Things have changed for me now and I am more positive as a person overall. For example, I am relaxing as I am logged into My Lot and earlier I went out for my early morning bike ride and this made me feel so good inside. The Sun was shining and is continuing to shine and there isn't a cloud to be seen. This is one day where it's good to hold a positive frame of mind or mindset. I'm trying to improve my own life in my own little way and there have been small achievements as well as things that I would rather didn't take place at all. Life goes on and I wouldn't say that I am the happiest person alive but all the same, I get on with things and take things as they come. Andrew
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (112952)
• Boise, Idaho
17 Sep 12
Sounds like you have a rather good handle on life. That is great.
• Egypt
15 Sep 12
life is not what you make it..there are things that we can not control
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (112952)
• Boise, Idaho
15 Sep 12
ANd there is alot that we can control.
@flapiz (4160)
• Australia
15 Sep 12
I agree with you on this one. I feel that when a person becomes too sad he or she shouldn't dwell much on it and try to at least look for some brighter or lighter things. Sometimes when we let sadness and negativity overwhelm us, we attract bad luck. I believe trying to see things positively might actually help you attract better things in life. That is the rule of attraction and I strongly believe in it.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (112952)
• Boise, Idaho
15 Sep 12
So true! Not good to dwell too much on bad stuff. The rule of attraction is very good idea to use in ones life. If we are severly depressed it can be tough to do.
@natliegleb (5186)
• India
15 Sep 12
exactly you have stated it to be perfect and how well we shape it also matters a lot and ideally i prefer to stay the way it is and want to shape it with positive vibes
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (112952)
• Boise, Idaho
15 Sep 12
Positive vibes are always good, especially when we are down.
• United States
15 Sep 12
Reaching out can be difficult for some people, especially since some people (at least a lot that I know) see depression as some kind of weakness - you know, pull up your bootstraps and keep on going, is what they'd say. There's a certain stigma that comes with having depression, I guess is what I want to say. It's also very hard to come out of that inner thought process and focus on anything else outside of that little bubble of depression, and it takes a lot of energy and willpower to reach out. Helping others and showing generosity may bring some light into the situation, but the stories of the people helped can also drag someone back down quickly, and it's a tiring effort to help others when you yourself are so down in the dumps. I guess each person just has their own method of coping.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (112952)
• Boise, Idaho
15 Sep 12
Or they might have some social anxiety as well as the depression. In my case I do have social anxiety so it makes it hard to reach out. Keeping busy in helping others for a period of time is what helps. Not just for a few moments but really commit to it for a period of time. And, yes, I do agree that each person does have their own method of coping.
• Philippines
15 Sep 12
When you're having problems and it seems to be painful to bear, please have an outlet. you can maybe talk it over with your family or friends. Or you can write i down in a journal. Having a hobby that will relax you will also help. For me, music and food is my stress reliever. You deserve to have a break once in a while and that is what you should do, too.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (112952)
• Boise, Idaho
15 Sep 12
Yes, having an outlet is very helpful.
• Indonesia
15 Sep 12
Yeah, I think most people have felt depressed in some time on their life. In case of me, I do feel mild depression which I suffered because I don't really fit in with my new boss at workplace, I have tried to stand her from January, well......that's pretty hard not to depressed since 40% times I spent were in my office. But I guess focus in positive does help me. So it's basically reduce my depression and as well as doing my hobby, it helps me so much. Basically doing what your passion tells you to avert your depression helps too.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (112952)
• Boise, Idaho
15 Sep 12
Reaching out to people in circumstances like this can help also. Don't just stay in a place where you are thinking about the problem all of the time. Reach out and do something different and the mood will change.
@Otanetix (509)
• United States
15 Sep 12
While there are bad things that happen in life, we need to take the initiative to try to make the best of the bad situation. For me, I could continue pitying myself when bad things happen or move on and forget about the bad event. I try not to dwell on bad things that happen because there's so many things I can do with my time that's more productive. Everyone has a different lifespan, which means we do not know when we are going to die. Each day you awake to should be considered a blessing because other people might not be as fortunate with living as long as you. The world might not be a perfect place; however, if you try hanging out with those who care about you and having an open mind, you will be amazed to see how your outlook on life will transition from bad to good.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (112952)
• Boise, Idaho
15 Sep 12
I don't think any of like to dwell on negative things. But if it is something that is at the top of the list at the time it is difficult not to. Again if you have a casual drop in mood these things you mention help alot. BUt, if you have severe depression that you have delt with all your life that is not always easy to do. And people that don't deal with severe depression can't understand what it is like.
• China
15 Sep 12
you know,recently I feel very depressed because I lost myself in life.I just graduated from university,I have worked for several months,but I have changed several jobs for that I don't like those jobs,I don't know what I should do,everyday I feel painful in my heart,every day I think the significance of life,at last I find that happy is the most important,you should find the right way to make your life happy,you have to find what you are good at,what facors can make you happy.now I feel much better,I find the way of my life,and I will be on the way!
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (112952)
• Boise, Idaho
15 Sep 12
I hear alot of people who have just graduated from college seem to fall into a bit of a funk for awhile. I think it is important to find some thing to make you happy and it doesn't have to be in what we are working at. If you enjoy a certain past time sometimes having that to look forward to makes what we are working at for the time being liveable.
• Indonesia
15 Sep 12
I agree with you. We should not allow ourselves to sink into depression. We have to do things that can make us forget the depression. I personally often feel depressed but not for long because I did not let it. I motivate myself to go ahead and do a lot of things that make my life more meaningful. happy mylotting
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (112952)
• Boise, Idaho
15 Sep 12
Having dealt with depression all my life I know that it is not always easy to just not 'sink into depression' because it just comes on us unexpectedly. We don't ask for it. Refocusing is important. Most people get alittle depressed from time to time. People who suffer from more severe depression such as I do have to find other ways to deal with it. Motivation and refocusing is great when we are able to do so. SOmetimes it is just easier said than done. ANd it is something that people who don't deal with it on a daily basic find hard to understand.
@Pose123 (21671)
• Canada
15 Sep 12
Hi celticeagle, I think that you have the right idea. When we are depressed we need to stop thinking about ourselves and reach out to help others. I know that this has worked for me. It gives us a sense of purpose. Blessings.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (112952)
• Boise, Idaho
15 Sep 12
And, I think, one reason we tend to get so depressed is that we are too much inside our own heards and we need to get into someone elses. Helps us see things differently. New perspectives help.
@bunnybon7 (31533)
• Holiday, Florida
14 Sep 12
sometimes that helps but if you do it to long or to much, you kind of buy into others depression and start feeling a bit depressed yourself. I, myself am guilty of doing to many depressing discussions at times i think and often have to try and think of something better to discuss. sometimes thats a little hard when we really need empathy. or is it sympathy? not sure which word is the right one. maybe just need ranting sometimes? lol
@celticeagle (112952)
• Boise, Idaho
14 Sep 12
I do the same thing. I really have to give it some thought. But I did state in one of my discussions that I don't have my counselor anymore so I do post some rather serious subject matter but it helps me to get feedback from friends like you.
@cynthiann (18572)
• Jamaica
14 Sep 12
I agree with you. God gives us blessings and we are to make our own happiness. If the person is severely depressed then quite honestly, they are not able to focus on anyone else but in cases of mild depression then helping others is very beneficial. The reason being os that it takes their mind off themself and the actual act of kindness to another person makes them feel better. Many years ago, I suffered a terrible depression and the worse thing anyone could say to me was to 'pull myself together'. I would have if I could have. Have also suffered moderate depression from recent bypass surgery.I just clung to the fact that I was assured that it would eventually pass and it is now not so severe at all
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (112952)
• Boise, Idaho
14 Sep 12
Helping others helps us and the other person. It is a win-win situation. Most people really do not understand depression. Glad you are over the depression. Surgery is tough. You take care.
@GardenGerty (88746)
• Marion, Kansas
14 Sep 12
I have never suffered from severe depression. I do sometimes get a good case of the blues, though. One of the charms of coming to MyLot is that it gives me a chance to give of myself to others. I was in one of those blue periods when I started at MyLot, and the fact that I could talk to people and help them out and could see what was going on in other person's lives really made me cheer up. I love this place still, for just that reason. I have told some people exactly what you are saying. If you feel worthless, do something worthwhile it sure can help.
@celticeagle (112952)
• Boise, Idaho
14 Sep 12
I live in a world of depression. My ex was such a jerk about too. He had no idea what I was going through. Mylot helps me for the same reason.