after the fight with your spouse, how long you do to take to settle the matter ?

@riyauro (6428)
India
September 15, 2012 5:02am CST
I know we all have fights in relationships and those who don't are lucky i guess. small small arguments in marriage is obvious and common. Now me and husband also have fight but it is not long that we get back to each other and say sorry for whatever happened. we do not speak to each other for some time but in the end of the day we are okay again. It happens mostly that within minutes we are talking and are good back again. I have seen couples fight and not talk to each other for days. How long have you been angry and not spoke to your partner? what was the maximum time that you took to start talking to your partner after a fight??
2 people like this
15 responses
@berting600 (3458)
• Philippines
15 Sep 12
All people commit mistakes that is why a simple misunderstanding with the spouse should be settled after both of you have already cooled off your temper.I can start the conversation by accepting that I am just human just like her sometimes could make a mistake,then I try to make my solutions work by suggesting we could have a small talk at the cooler place like the going to a beach resort and talk our problem there so that the quarrel could be solve right away.I will bring here a bouquet of flowers,and some goodies to make her at ease in my presence.After our talks end,the problem of misunderstandings was resolve and you know we have a sweet love making after that scenario.Is'nt that a sweet ending?
1 person likes this
• Philippines
15 Sep 12
This is the way I used to make any solutions to any misunderstanding going on with my wife, because I wanted to clear things from the start of our problems to the factors which affects our troubles.I recall all of it to make my explanation why it is like that and never this way.Then during my explanation I will see to it that she understood what I am trying to resolve and after that,the reconciliation happens,with a tight kiss and drama.I will tell her how I missed her,that would bring us to our fantasy of love.
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@riyauro (6428)
• India
16 Sep 12
It must have been very sweet moment for you both. I am happy to hear your story. Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful day ahead.
• Philippines
16 Sep 12
I am also thanking you for the chance to share my views.
@dpk262006 (56591)
• Delhi, India
16 Sep 12
Hi Riya! We also just can not keep quite for a long period, after we had an argument on some issue. I believe in making peace rather than ego come in my way. I do not mind admitting my mistakes or faults because I know that no one is infalliable and no one is perfect. Your approach of accommodating your hubby and vice versa is appreciable.
@riyauro (6428)
• India
16 Sep 12
hi dpk, yeah we all have faults and we accepted our partners like that and now we must try to keep it that way so that we can spend our old age also together. Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful day ahead.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56591)
• Delhi, India
17 Sep 12
riya - Your positive attitude is appreciable and I hope you will keep the relationship intact and going because you know 'how to accommodate' others.
@thesids (22351)
• Bhubaneswar, India
16 Sep 12
Have been married for almost 6 years now. Me and my wife are quite opposite of each other. I have a short term memory when it comes to any disagreement or fight (wait, I dont fight with anyone and am a peaceful person, so please ignore the fight and we continue with disagreements)... We have many disagreements on almost everything because we are opposite of each other. I always stand with one benefit - my short term memory which helps me forget the disagreements quite soon. So I am back to normal me say in about 5 - 10 minutes and at times (yes there have been such times) when I would get back to normal even when the disagreement was continuing and we were supposed to be discussing on our disagreement and this really helps in keeping the time off to the lowest possible
1 person likes this
@riyauro (6428)
• India
16 Sep 12
Oh i have short term memory for this lol. I forget within minutes. I don't want to remember bad things so I eject them from my system. Like you and your wife, me and my hubby and totally opposite each other and that is why he always says, 'oppostes attract' Going good mate. Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful day ahead.
@verolop29 (1096)
• United States
24 Sep 12
My husband and I r just like that. We agree to disagree! And at the end of the said argument he say ohh ur always right!! But I'm not afraid to admit my own faults. :) Have a great one!!
@verolop29 (1096)
• United States
15 Sep 12
Well all I have to do is cry and then all would be forgiven and he would admit it was his fault and he would do nice hints for me. Once he even said that men act like men and he can't help being that way....but that worked for the first 3 years and then it didn't work anymore ;) Now when we get into fights I either start breaking things or I go shopping and use his money. When he doesn't want me doing that he'll go one to say that he's sorry and hell hug me till I relent! Which can be annoying at times! Every now and then I'll tell him that he's annoying me and I leave the house and walk or ride my bike to cool off. Like today he had trouble with a password and he tried everything but nothing worked. I suggested he call costumer support and he said I don't wanna call the f'n ppl and I said I would so I did and got the problem resolved within seconds! Men! You are right when you said at the end of the day it's all good. I think some ppl men and women alike tend to hold grudges than others.
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@riyauro (6428)
• India
16 Sep 12
oh oh i have some people like you fling things when angry. I can understand that we all are different from each other and things like this happens. But the thing is when we make up with the fights then it is wonderful. Being humble can solve all problems as what i think. Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful day ahead.
@verolop29 (1096)
• United States
23 Sep 12
Yes but I am slowly changing my ways...happy mylotting:)
@kris3rdE (156)
• Philippines
15 Sep 12
hi riyauro! Well it really depends on the reason why we fight. The longest time that we didn't talk is 2 weeks. The reason why we fight "MONEY". Lol
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@riyauro (6428)
• India
16 Sep 12
oh oh money is the problem almost every where. Hope it does not again. lol Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful day ahead.
@chloe_19 (19)
• Philippines
15 Sep 12
ever since we were boyfriend and girlfriend our fight ends up in one day.. we usually find the right solution by talking and to whom mistakes are committed if any of the two of us commit that mistakes.. but if its in the pick of our fight and no one admit the mistake we stop talking and take an our not talking.. after a while if we are ready to talk and listen to each other then we started talking again and if we find out if his fault or mine we end it up saying sorry and iloveyou.:-)
1 person likes this
@riyauro (6428)
• India
16 Sep 12
That is how it should be actually. Making things worse won't take anywhere but the relationship into misery. Good to use brains and and stay calm. we all have wisdom and we must use it. Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful day ahead.
@GemmaR (8526)
15 Sep 12
I think that it is very important to sort things out when you have arguments with people, otherwise the same issues just go over and over in your head and they end up being even more of an issue than they had to be in the first place. I always try to make sure that we have sorted out our arguments before the end of the day, because if the issues carry on into the next day then things always feel a lot worse and it is a lot harder for the first person to make a move to try and change things. I would always be careful in situations because you don't want to ruin a relationship over something that shouldn't have even been an issue.
1 person likes this
@riyauro (6428)
• India
16 Sep 12
yeah problem or issues carried to next day makes it worse and makes it difficult. I can not stay mad for long. I am a cheerful person and for me, i have joy in my heart even whatever the situation it. very well explained. Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful day ahead.
@Raine38 (9193)
• United States
15 Sep 12
Just a couple of hours lol! We can't stay mad at each other for long, and we definitely can't just stop talking to each other. We just needed some time to calm down and cool it off. Just because we have arguments doesn't mean we don't love each other anymore. We just disagree, because even though we're already married, we're still two different people.
1 person likes this
@riyauro (6428)
• India
16 Sep 12
yeah so true. In all relationships this happens and we must cool it down, but unlike some people they make it worse by not becoming humble and have severe attitude problem and such people end up in a divorce and separation. I am glad you are one of the humble people who love each other endlessly. Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful day ahead.
@else22 (4319)
• India
15 Sep 12
Fortunately I have been among the couples who never quarrel.Believe me,we don't know how it feels not to be on talking terms with each other.Not that we have the same opinions on various issues of life,but we have learned how to live peacefully with differences.Whenever we have a difference of opinion,we always try to see the concerned issue with each other's view points and thus reach a common conclusion.You may say,we can't of living without each other.
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@riyauro (6428)
• India
16 Sep 12
Wow you are very lucky that you have such people around you who don't quarrel. I am amazed. I would love to live on your neighborhood or be in your friend circle. I have seen people fight for no reasons absolutely. There has been lot of people having extra marital affairs and lots for the fight to start. I am sure you won't know what I am talking about. anyway, Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful day ahead.
• United States
15 Sep 12
I have not gone even a day without talking to him while we were fighting once he was mad and left my house and I did not call him. but,I just gave him time to get calm and call me and the very next day he called me. we are sitting here on the couch together as well.
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@riyauro (6428)
• India
16 Sep 12
yeah it must be given some time too otherwise hasty decisions are very bad. Good to hear you sitting together on the couch now. Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful day ahead.
@ARIES1973 (9539)
• Legaspi, Philippines
15 Sep 12
We usually settle the things before the day ends. It is not good to bed without settling any disagreements.
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@riyauro (6428)
• India
15 Sep 12
you are right, i also feel bad if i have to sleep with that bad mood and i won't be even able to sleep. Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful day ahead.
@thanks1961 (7046)
• India
15 Sep 12
We don't go for fight or anything, if anything happens inappropriate, normally I used to keep quite and won't talk much and also I won't feel go for such incidents also. Mostly we have good relations and I don't even I have such incidents in the long 16-17 years of time. Any way, as long as it is life and we all are having our own interests and opinions and it is quite common to have different opinions and mis-matches within the ideas. So, people won't take it is as so serious and the next moment of our thoughts will minimise the impacts. Without such small petty fights, what is the life, right?
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@riyauro (6428)
• India
15 Sep 12
Okay nice one. You must be having good life with your partner, I am happy for you. yeah after fights and argument one must cool down and talk to settle the matter. Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful day ahead.
@jenny1015 (13389)
• Philippines
15 Sep 12
That depends on what kind of issue lead us to a fight. If it is just because of petty things, just a few minutes after, then we are okay. But if we have one huge fight, it sometimes lasts for a day or two.
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@riyauro (6428)
• India
15 Sep 12
yeah, but you patch up that is the best part and that understanding it there. good, I am glad you fix it within a couple of days. Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful day ahead.
@kingparker (9698)
• United States
21 Nov 12
I am not in a relationship right now, but I remember that when I was still with my ex girlfriend, we fought sometimes too. Sometimes, we didn't call each other for a day, and the longest one is for a week. Usually I have to send her a text message to ask her forgiveness. When we were broke up, we were friendly though, not much of fight.
@Dominique25 (9475)
• United States
28 Sep 12
I think that for some couples the longer that they have been together the longer they can go without talking to one another. My husband and I usually don't talk for a some time if we are upset about something. It usually is a day or so. We still would talk to one another about everyday things but the atmosphere is different as one or the other is still upset about whatever happened.