My friend borrows money from me and never returns.

@rubyroy (824)
India
September 16, 2012 11:00am CST
How much ever I point out to my friend,that spending money beyond your limit is a bad habit,he doesn't stop this habit.One day to prove that this is an annoying habit, I borrowed some money from him and never returned it,to make him understand his bad habit.Two days after,a common friend of ours came to me and said that my friend had borrowed money saying it was for my use.I was forced to return the money.I used to avoid him,but still whenever we meet,he borrows again from me.What should I do with him?
5 people like this
29 responses
• India
16 Sep 12
Be very frank and straight to him that you are not going to lend any more untill he repays you.just maintain some distance with this kind of friends,as we should be cautious with irresponsible and selfish persons.
1 person likes this
@rubyroy (824)
• India
17 Sep 12
When I refuse to give him money stating the reason,then he sends his wife or children to us and if they refuse to come,he never buys or give them anything.One day the children went without food for two days,when they refused to come to us.So I have told the children to come whenever there is no food at home.
• India
17 Sep 12
Hey ruby, First of all, its your mistake. You shouldn't have lend him money even after knowing he won'r return it back. Even its your friend or relatives money has the same value and its value won't change if you are lending it to your best friend. “Neither a borrower nor a lender be. These famous words came from Polonius Shakespeare’s chief counselor to King Claudius in Hamlet. Why shouldn’t we lend money to friends or family? Polonius answers that in his next line: “For loan oft loses both itself and friend.” Polonius knew that a loan to a friend or family member often results in losss of both relationship and money. In fact, loans between family members or friends can result in an entirely unexpected set of problems. Consider the following reasons why not to lend money to friends and family. 1. Open-ended Loans Loans to family and friends tend to be open-ended. The parties don’t reach an agreement for a timeline for repayments, and don’t include interest on the loan.Lenders don’t know when their money will be returned, and borrowers don’t know when to repay the loans. 2. Loans Are Not a Priority With an open-ended loan, the borrower may not realize that there is a sense of urgency to repay the laon. Without a deadline, repaying the loan becomes the borrowers last priority. 3. It’s Difficult to Ask for the Money Back It can be difficult to request repayment of a loan from a friend or family member. More than likely, the lender cares about the borrower, and doesn’t want the borrower to feel awkard. try not do do this in future. Anyways happy lotting. :)
1 person likes this
@chookie1971 (2271)
• Australia
17 Sep 12
You have a very serious problem there. Ask him what it is for? If it is for food, then go and buy basic food. But if he can't give you a reason you need to say no more money to him and to his family. If he punishes his children then you may need to report him to the authorities for failing of duty of care for his children. I am sorry but you may need to be tough. I have had a family member ask for money twice. Both times, I have said no.
1 person likes this
@JohnRok1 (2051)
17 Sep 12
Your FRIEND??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
@JohnRok1 (2051)
17 Sep 12
You've even taken him to a counsellor. What else can you do? Take his wife to a counsellor, too? If one person in that family learned sense, it would be a start.
@riyauro (6421)
• India
16 Sep 12
oh that seems to be a real problem for you. I don't know why you are entertaining him. the the day you stop giving him, maybe he learn his lesson. He is very irresponsible as i can see. be straight with him. Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful day ahead.
@rubyroy (824)
• India
16 Sep 12
Thank-you.These comments of yours will definitely bring a change in him.
1 person likes this
@riyauro (6421)
• India
16 Sep 12
yeah it is high time he change or one day he will lose a good friend like you also. Because you are going to get tired of him which you are already starting to. all the best.
@lokisdad (4226)
• United States
20 Nov 15
don't lend them any more money. If you do don't lend them more money than you are willing to give away because you know that he isn't going to pay you back. But over all I think you need to just tell the person that you are tired of lending them money because they don't ever pay you back and then tell them that they shouldn't ask you anymore because the answer is NO they need to learn to manage their money and stop living above their means.
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
17 Sep 12
I would tell him that if he paid back the money he borrowed before you would have money to lend to him, but don't have any to spare.
@anne25penn (3305)
• Philippines
17 Sep 12
You have to be upfront and honest with this person that what he is doing is not okay with you. I have the same dilemma at work that I now refuse anyone who comes to borrow money from me because they never pay me back. I don't like to remind people that they owe me money. I always hope that they have the initiative of returning the money back. When I first started work at my new job, I was the person that everyone could approach with when it came to money. But after a few paydays and I noticed that only a few people returned what they borrowed and I realized that I was short of money that I learned to say no. I know that sometimes it helps, but we also have to bear in mind that we also have our own needs.
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
24 Sep 12
I have the perfect solution for you... STOP LENDING HIM MONEY!!! Just tell him "No" and walk away. This person is no friend and he is using you because you let him. Of course he will use you and take advantage of you. I really want to tell you that you are an idiot but I won't do that.
@youless (112091)
• Guangzhou, China
17 Sep 12
That's so annoying. I think sooner or later this bad habit will spoil the friendship. So if both of you still want to remain as friends, then you shall be true to each other and not to borrow money from each other any more. I love China
• United States
17 Sep 12
Don't borrow him any money-just say no. I had a similiar incident where I borrowed a friend money about a year ago and she has never paid me back yet. I tried to talk to her on Facebook and send her messages but no response. We have been friends for many years but I still feel used by her due to the fact that she has not made an attempt to pay me or to talk to me about anything.
@bellis716 (4799)
• United States
19 Sep 12
Just say "NO".
@pratik87 (1927)
• India
17 Sep 12
Simple solution, do not lend him money. Just SAY NO.
@lizrelox (144)
• Philippines
17 Sep 12
i know the feeling sister. But it is much better if you will try to talk to him about it i think he would understand because you are going to tell him the truth as you don't want him to get in further trouble because of the bad habit. Also try to avoid of lending him money again or try to buy a book about wise spending and give it to him.
• India
17 Sep 12
i would say you better avoid him. Dont again pay him the money even at the cost of your friendship. People like that never be friends, they can only be strangers.So next time you see him, dont give him even a penny.
@salonga (27775)
• Philippines
17 Sep 12
A friend who keeps borrowing money? I don't think I could ever call such kind of person as friend. He is obviously just taking advantage of your friendship. He does not really treat you as friend because if he does he will not do such kind of abuse. Well your question is what to do with him? Simple...don't lend any single centavo to him anymore. See how he would stop seeing you anymore as he noticed he can't benefit anymore from you. Don't tolerate such kind of friend. Let him realize that he needs to prove himself worthy to keep friends otherwise, he'd lose all.
@natliegleb (5175)
• India
17 Sep 12
this is horrible,try to talk to him,force him to return the money,he is trying to take you for granted
• Indonesia
17 Sep 12
Do nothing. He have to take responsible for his action. If he used your name to borrow money from anyone else, do not pay the money back. Tell, whoever come to you asking their money back that your friend borrowed from them that you never asked anyone to borrow money for you. If he come to you again to borrow some money never give him. He will take advantage on your kindness. Ignore him if he come to you with any reason to borrow your money. he will try with many trick to get your money, he will say that his mother/sister is sick and he need money for medication, or anything else.
• China
17 Sep 12
I thinking this ia not a bad habit and is not a good friend.You should stop borrow money from hime again and tell him No Pins, No Gains.
@babyeve (1048)
• Seychelles
17 Sep 12
For a start you should cut ties with that friend. Borrowing money is a very bad habit and the more you continue to do it, the more you will feel bad about it. Borrowing money is not a fun game at all. Just say to yourself it is time to stop and you should action on it. I had this friend the same thing to me and I had to stop her even though we end up not talking for a while. But at least it was for a right purpose. Nothing comes easy in life at all.