How can you give advises if you are not a good listener?

Pasay, Philippines
September 17, 2012 1:17am CST
Have observe other people who are just butting in while in the middle of the conversation then in the end they thought they have been giving advise that help the person but it was just end up to a mess conversation? More so it will be also ending up into non sense argument? What are your experiences and thoughts regarding this matter? Does they realized that being an advise giver must be also a good listener? That you have to analyze the whole story or the conversation before giving advise?
4 people like this
20 responses
• Trinidad And Tobago
17 Sep 12
This problem is big in Trinidad where I live. Nobody listens and very often its better not to say anything at all. Listening is essential to human interaction but it goes when people are not genuinely interested in others. That happens in a selfish, self centered society.
1 person likes this
@ajithlal (14569)
• India
17 Sep 12
I hope people change and becomes good listener. I think you can say a comment like please listen to me and then speak and I will listen to you and this might work.
• India
17 Sep 12
I think one should not give any damn to those use to butt every now and then considering their thoughts to be superior or helpful to others, these people should be ignored and awarded with tolerance as it is their habit to show up like that every time they speak in public or just have a discussion or convo on any topic or situation. 'Ending up a mess conversation' if one who is of sound and intelligent mind will never get in troubled or messed up conversation and better pull out himself. 'Do they realize' no actually not they must be praising their intellect meanwhile and after the convo as well. Analyzing is not something these people much concerned about either have a superiority complex or they just think they are much experienced.
1 person likes this
• Bangladesh
17 Sep 12
Yes if you dont listen to my words, analyze my words how you will invent advising words. While talking to one of my cousin, my cousin would think himself a specialist and he goes on speaking and I should keep on listening to him. Even he never evaluate if I have listened or understood. He is senior to me. For the sake of seniority, I would hold my listening and would try to understand. If listening and relistening does not happen simultaneously, there creates a communication gap and as a result no relation will be estabished. A self centric man or woman at least will loose his or her friends, his or her neighbours and his or her pets etc.
1 person likes this
• Bangladesh
17 Sep 12
Yes if you dont listen to my words, analyze my words how you will invent advising words. While talking to one of my cousin, my cousin would think himself a specialist and he goes on speaking and I should keep on listening to him. Even he never evaluate if I have listened or understood. He is senior to me. For the sake of seniority, I would hold my listening and would try to understand. If listening and relistening does not happen simultaneously, there creates a communication gap and as a result no relation will be estabished. A self centric man or woman at least will loose his or her friends, his or her neighbours and his or her pets etc.
1 person likes this
@asliah (11148)
• Philippines
14 Nov 12
hi, that is true,a good adviser should know how listen or should be a good listener to know the root cause of the problem,because if not the conversation will go to nothing,i mean non sense,it because you need to analyze the whole story before you can give such a good advise.
• India
18 Sep 12
There are some good listeners who only nod in agreement to what they hear but never give their views.
@derek_a (10902)
18 Sep 12
Yes, I would say that listening is a very important part of communication. As a therapist/counselor myself, I have to listen and support a person coming to their own conclusions. We all have the answers to our own problems and sometimes if there is too much advice, it isn't going to help. Listening is an art and also it is good to listen to oneself in meditation practices. _Derek
@riempie9 (1026)
• South Africa
18 Sep 12
One has to be a good listener in order to give advice to others. Sometimes you are tired of always advising and teaching, but think of this: you may have a child one day who will need good advice and there will be someone to teach him and give him advice. That is how the universe works.
• India
18 Sep 12
Yes I quite agree that it becomes very irritating when some people hate to listen and not only interrupt others but like to hog the conversation totally.In fact if you notice most disagreements stem from very poor listening.Listening is probably a skill that is not easy to master.For that you need patience,understanding ,focus and concentration.
• Egypt
17 Sep 12
most of us in not a good listener but think that he can give advise,that depend on a lot of things
@ajithlal (14569)
• India
17 Sep 12
I also think that people needed to be good listener to give good advise. I have found out that not many people are good listeners and only some people can be good listeners and while some others cannot be good listeners. I am a good listeners and I listen to others than speaking.
• India
17 Sep 12
Hi friend, some persons are in this sort, they are interested in giving advice and don't have patience to listen our problems, how can they have the ability to give a proper solution to our issue without hearing it? i agree with you, surely this kind of persons don't have the ability to give a correct suggestion
• Philippines
17 Sep 12
It's always necessary to listen first to the whole story and understand everything before you can give an advice. If a person is not a good listener so it is expected that he cannot give the best advice as well. So be careful in choosing an adviser. Good luck.
@jenny1015 (13389)
• Philippines
17 Sep 12
Definitely. How can you possible give an advise if you do not know the whole problem? If you just butt in the middle of a conversation without really knowing what was being talked about,then you are just trying to blend in without realizing how stupid you can be. I have seen people who just keeps on cutting conversation and just blab about practically anything.
@chiyosan (30206)
• Philippines
17 Sep 12
I agree, people need to listen and by listening they will understand more what the other person was talking about. not in all circumstances we have to give advise even when one comes to us with problems. usually people are just around and tells us because they need to get some load off their chest.
@jricky1 (6808)
• China
17 Sep 12
That's really true coz i found that communication needs to be heard and meanwhile have advices. So this two are close related. Hope we can understand and thus being supportive.That's how i usually be. My friends are also good listeners.
@else22 (4319)
• India
17 Sep 12
We human beings always remain on the look out for someone who wants to listen to us.We always want to express ourselves.I mean,each one of us, have the same tendency.When we meet our friend and talk to him or her,both of us want to express ourselves.What happens then is that we become self centered or selfish.We want the other to give us chance to speak.We tend to become talkers and want others to become listeners.Here lies the problem.We become unpopular. The solution is that we develop the habit of being listeners.Giving the others the chance to speak is what we need the most.We must realize that we can become talkers only if we are ready to become listeners.
@babyeve (1051)
• Seychelles
17 Sep 12
Yes it is important to be a good listener. I am a good listener and good at giving advises. Sometimes it is according to what you hear that you can get good advises to give. But sometimes, you must also listen to people to be able to understand what kind of advise you should give them after listening to their problems.
@riyauro (6428)
• India
17 Sep 12
yeah you have to be a good listener to give advise others. unless and until you know the full story, you can't give advise. Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful day
• India
17 Sep 12
This is a very important point. I have seen people in conversations trying to enforce their point. They want to do the talking always never listens. You can only advise someone if you have experience or you learn something. Bad listeners can never be good listeners. I would say such people are just chatter boxes.