Tomorrow will be a good day and a bad day.. lol

United States
September 18, 2012 9:12pm CST
I am so tired of this man driving me every where. I can't even walk three blocks to the shopping center without him driving me. I was told tonight to come to work at 1pm tomorrow. so,I am going to wake up and leave my house to go any where. then at 12pm I am going to walk to the train and go to work. he is going to freaking flip out. but,I am tired of this crap. I have no freedom to go and come on my own. I told him last night that it is looking a lot like he is trying to control me and I will not have it. He comes to my job and waits for me to finish to bring me straight home. then if I want to go to my mothers he will drop me off and come and pick me up. If I walk home we have a big arguement. I am staying up late tonight to enjoy mylotting and nothing will bother me.. take care. I have been stressed all day because my daughter left last night and has not called me all day. I figured she went back home. so,now I need to get to her to let her know it's either you leave him or you leave me. but,you can't have us both. I know she will choose him and she will fall right in my trap. I will find the money to get a truck and drop all her mess off at her house. mind you she will not have anywhere to put it in that tiny place. I will not care either.
2 people like this
10 responses
• United States
19 Sep 12
This just creates more drama for both of you. You never just have balance. I respect your choices but I think you are making a mistake to make her choose. Why? Because you will lose. It won't be pretty either. You talk now of what you will do but in truth you will be devastated. Why not just be her mother without forcing her to bend to your will. You had to learn you deserved better. You are still learning. She may take as long as you have taken to learn she deserves better. I hope you both can find peace. Nothing hurts worse than losing a child. Hope you can find the inner peace to maintain a mother/daughter relationship. You can do that by creating boundaries and sticking to them. It's her life to ruin if she wants to ruin it Gifts. All you can do is lend an ear when she needs it. I'd not get radical with her when you already know what the outcome will be.
2 people like this
• United States
19 Sep 12
No one seems to understnad what I am going through with this girl. she keeps calling me when stuff goes wrong and have me come pick her up and bring her to my house. then she goes right abck to him after he tells her that he misses her. how dare he put his hands on her when ever he feels like it. I am most definetly going to tell her to make her choice and your right we both know she will choose him. at least then she will know if he whoops her azz she better not call me or come to my job. and I just hope god gives me the will to let her tail go and live my life. I am so tired of her calling me when he hits her and she tells us like we don't already ahte him enough. If I get the strentgh I might have adrain drive me to her tomorrow. that way I cang get it over with and move on. she does not want a nother she wants a friend who will be there to hear all her crap. well this time I amd so fed up and done.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164450)
• Garden Grove, California
19 Sep 12
gifts am wondering if he is doing this because of his mother dying something suddenly seems to make him clinging to you and controlling you as if hes afraid you will disappear? How about his tests did they come out benign? I have read pointless questions and she is right.,you cannot stop it if she is in big trouble you will try to help her.What you say now will not matter if your little girl is in big trouble?Is there any way legally to keep the loser away from her, a court order perhaps?oh my gosh get her to a battered women's shelter as he cannot do 'that he hits her,get a court order against a batterer and do it now,.she is too in love to realize what a cretin or moron he is.talk to her and report him to the police as a woman batterer.
@sid556 (31003)
• United States
18 Oct 12
PQ is right on this, Sharon. I know I'm responding a bit late. Tough Love is a balancing act and it is tough but it also is loving. I think that not allowing him to your place is a good thing. Making her choose between him and you??....not such a good thing. Dropping her stuff off to her unexpectedly and knowing that she does not have room for it?? Well that is disrespectful and antagonizing and will do nothing more than put distance between the two of you.
@Iriene88 (5352)
• Malaysia
19 Sep 12
Perhaps that guy is extremely concern for your safety, I guessed! However, he should allowed you to have your own pace and freedom. How is your journey to and from workplace. Is it safe? My place lately the crime rate is rocketing, but most of it is not recorded so that it won't be so alarming to the public. Last Friday, 6 guys on two motorcycles robbed 3 houses within minutes. They armed themselves with long knife. It happened two doors away from my house. They slashed one of the guy on the neck and thumb. He was now hospitalised. It seems crime is happening everywhere, in the supermarkets, train station, streets, parking lots, cinemas etc.
• United States
19 Sep 12
He says it is because he is worried about me getting hurt. but,the man won't let me walk even in the day time. he wants to drive me where ever I go. we can't afford gas like that.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Sep 12
This goes back to what I said about it perhaps not being the best idea for him to have a key to your apartment. He always has access to you... whether you want for him to or not. Unfortunately, he has repeatedly demonstrated a lack of respect for your need for space, and that really is not cool. Him having been there for you in the past should not translate into you having to forfeit all of your freedom.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Sep 12
I do not blame you for wanting to leave early to get to work. I had been in New York a few times and took the train without any trouble. I could understand if you were working the graveyard shift and he wants to pick you up, but during the daytime he needs to let you be independent. Randy and I have been married five years and although we love to do things together, we do things apart as well. I have my crafts to keep me busy and I take classes in quilting (Randy hates doing things like this and I am okay with that because I know I need me time as well). I think you and Adrian need to have a heart to heart talk and listen to each other. Communication is the key to a successful relationship. As for your daughter I do not think that making her choose between you and her boyfriend is not the right thing to do because she will choose him (she thinks she is in love with him and he does not love her). I do not blame you for getting rid of her stuff and making her keep it at her place.
1 person likes this
• United Arab Emirates
19 Sep 12
Every new day is another day chance to chaange your life.
1 person likes this
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
20 Sep 12
In the words of my best friend's mother when we were teenagers, "There are crazy people everywhere." Perhaps he is just extremely worried about your safety. You never know when a bad thing will happen to a good person. With that out of the way, as far as your daughter goes. I think that you should try to accept the loser that she is with in as much as he is her significant other right now. I wouldn't make her choose between him and you. Instead, I would make certain that she knew that he is not welcome around you.
@eagletrek2 (5281)
• Kingston, New York
20 Sep 12
Hi how safe.is your area? It could be he worry about Your safety , does it cost a lot To use public transportation? ? With me I would want my lady To be safe and save money And to just be with her as much As possible . Can you Feel any love? If your area safe you And your Guy need to talk about every Thing.
@jenny1015 (13389)
• Philippines
19 Sep 12
I see you are so upset with the two most important people in your life. You just need to talk to them calmly and tell them how you want things to happen and that it greatly affects you if you keep on having the same issues over and over. Cheer up, gifts! You got a new job and it should make you feel better coz this is something that you have looked forward to and this is where you want to be happy about. Being bothered with the thoughts of him and your daughter might affect your performance at work. Breath in....breath out...
@GardenGerty (105287)
• United States
19 Sep 12
Adrian is out of work right now, right? That is why he is being such a pest. I know you will always have a hard time with your daughter until the loser does something and gets sent far away. Sharon I am so sorry you are trapped like this. I think it may have bothered Adrian if you were telling him about the nasty comments guys were making to you. At least I guess you told him, cause you told us. He does not want that happening.
@Hatley (164450)
• Garden Grove, California
19 Sep 12
oh gifts here you are with a great new job and both A drian adn Kaykay giving you bad times.who needs that surely Adrian knows you are stressed from KayKay.why is he suddenly taking on as a controller, thats scary. has he ever pushed you or in any way been physically rough with you? I know he seems to really love you but to make you do as he wishes not right not right at all. don't let these people make you ill.You can decide not to stress out as I have to, as stress shoves up ones blood sugar.I wish something would decide Kaykay to leave the loser now.