How can I tell her about you?
By muggiekins
@joliefille (3690)
Philippines
September 20, 2012 11:09am CST
My ex got his ex girlfriend pregnant last February and she is on her eighth month today. She found it funny how she had been told by someone recently this:
"As your child grows older, you'll eventually have to feed her lies that her father was a good man."
Well she left him because she found out that he was cheating on her.
I admire her strength and resolve to raise the child on her own. I didn't really think someone as soft-hearted and forgiving as her would leave him as she was very much in love with the man who left her deluded about their relationship. If it happened to me and I got pregnant, I don't know how I would open up to my daughter (she's expecting a girl) about her father who cheated on me. Would I tell her white lies to protect her? If I had to tell her the truth, I would probably be grasping for the right words, 'cause I know I had been too honest before that I didn't use tact to make it easy on anyone to accept the cold hard truth.
1 person likes this
5 responses
@BigMoney25 (1286)
• Philippines
21 Sep 12
You do not have to worry about that, all you have to worry about is how you are going to be a good example to your child, don't need to explain about a person that don't deserve to be discussed about. Just be a great mom and a great example and your child will be raised with good manners and attitude. that's it. Goodluck to you!
@joliefille (3690)
• Philippines
26 Sep 12
Yes, hopefully she and her family would serve as a good example to the child.
@angelkarah050182 (4980)
• Philippines
21 Sep 12
If I were her, I won'tlie to my daughter. Eventually, she will know about the truth. Telling white lies isn'tgood. She will not trust me anymore after finding out about the real reason. I will tell her if she's already at the right age though. Happy mylotting.
1 person likes this
@joliefille (3690)
• Philippines
26 Sep 12
Hope her family - her mom and her sisters - would be one with her goal to not tell white lies.
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
20 Sep 12
I salute this lady for her courage to carry on with her pregnancy without the man who impregnate her. She rather be a single mother and face all the challenges of upbringing a child than having a philandering man that would be unhealthy in the child's upbringing. A cheater will always be a cheater. There is no need to tell the child not until she is old enough to understand
1 person likes this
@joliefille (3690)
• Philippines
21 Sep 12
Yeah I was absolutely surprised by her move. They had an on and off relationship, she kept chasing him. She was well aware that he told her before that he was not in love with her, she would visit the guy in Sydney and this would happen 3 or 4 times since 2010. When she goes back home to the Philippines, he would tell her he doesn't like a long distance relationship and so they would only be back in a relationship when she goes to Sydney again to visit him. According to him, he accepted that set up because he saw how she cared for him even though he couldn't really say that he was in love with her. So he has been leading her on for a long long time. She had also been warned by his sister during her first visit in Sydney that he had used girls before and that was her brother's weakness. He told her his sister was just making him look bad. But well as the saying goes, when there's smoke there's fire.
@Raine38 (12257)
• United States
21 Sep 12
Wow, she's one brave lady. If I were in her position, I don't know what I would do. I'll probably be a coward first before I can muster enough courage to do what she did. As for my daughter, I would also lie for her, but not to the point that she will expect too much. I will try to make it as general as possible, and be extra loving and attentive to her that she wouldn't miss a thing. I will do my best to be both mother and father to her. Then when she's older and have a bit of strength and character in her, I will slowly open her eyes to the real situation as slow as I deem okay for her small mind to process.
1 person likes this
@Raine38 (12257)
• United States
21 Sep 12
Wow, she's one brave lady. If I were in her position, I don't know what I would do. I'll probably be a coward first before I can muster enough courage to do what she did. As for my daughter, I would also lie for her, but not to the point that she will expect too much. I will try to make it as general as possible, and be extra loving and attentive to her that she wouldn't miss a thing. I will do my best to be both mother and father to her. Then when she's older and have a bit of strength and character in her, I will slowly open her eyes to the real situation as slow as I deem okay for her small mind to process.
1 person likes this
@joliefille (3690)
• Philippines
21 Sep 12
I wouldn't know what to do either but that would be a good start to break the truth slow to the child. One is always bugged by their conscience when it comes to telling the truth but yes it would take time for her to process, especially when she starts seeing other kids her age have a mom and a dad.
