I decided to make a housecleaning here.

@marguicha (101852)
Chile
September 22, 2012 8:20pm CST
I came today to check on the responses I had made yesterday to see if I needed to say something and there was not a single comment on any of my answers. I don´t expect everyone to comment, but on the other hand I usually think a lot before answering a post a try to do my best. My rant: Today I decided that I would stop talking to the wall. I live alone and I have enough of that here. So that I will delete as friends those people that make lots of posts yet never comment on what I answer. I am not here to earn money. In fact I can name lots of better ways to earn some cents. I come here to have conversations withj people who have my interests. Nice if mylot gives me some cents, but it´s not the most important thing for me. When I got married, my mother told me she wanted to say some things to me. I was very much worried that she would start that conversation about bees and flowers. Fortunatly, my mom was wiser than what I thought at that time. She told me that I would start my married life and would start making friends with couples. She said never to forget that friendship was a two way road. It was about giving and recieving. Maybe that is one of the reasons why I have such good friends. Yesterday, September 21th, Spring started in my side of the world. Tomorrow I will start my Spring cleaning here. I know who are my true friends here. I don´t mean them. If I don´t hear from them, I worry. But I will check one by one those posts that never have a comment. End of rant.
6 people like this
20 responses
@deazil (4547)
• United States
23 Sep 12
I have the same complaint. I put thought and oftentimes research into my responses. I don't expect a comment every time, either. But an acknowledgement would be nice. I have recently deleted friends who never commented on my responses. In particular newer members who, in their first discussions commented nicely and in a friendly way, then sent friend requests which I accepted and then in every subsequent discussion no comments were ever made again. Is that what a friend does? I guess that's what some mylot friends do. I am busy elsewhere but I came here at first because I liked it and thought it was a friendly place. You have voiced my opinion perfectly. And look at the responses you received. I see you may have wakened a few people up. Maybe not, as I am not sure who responds to your discussions and who doesn't. I'm sure all the responses you get will be an interesting read for you! But I've noticed lately while cruising through discussions there seem to be more than there was in the past that have few or no comments to responses. I hope all your future comments receive a response. I bet they will......now.
2 people like this
@cynthiann (18619)
• Jamaica
23 Sep 12
I was absent from Mylot due to two major surgeries and then I had no feeling in one hand. I have been back perhaps a month (I did post a few responses so that my account would remain open)and am still typing with difficulty. I am appalled at the amount of responses that I have made that have not even been ackonowledged. This never used to happen so much before. Another thing, many people need to cultivate Mylot manners. It is normal for the new friend to send a message to thank you foraccepting their request for friendship. I have acccepted maybe a dozen new people and not one has thanked me. Sorry for the rant but I was going to post a discussion on the same subject as I am so annoyed
@deazil (4547)
• United States
23 Sep 12
Hi again! Yes, I agree with you. I have noticed a lot of newbies posting all kinds of questions that could be answered if they had read the guidelines. I've even seen where one or two have popped into a discussion to ask a question that has nothing to do with the discussion. Like "How much money can I make here?" in the middle of a discussion on the value of being a parent. (just an example) And I saw a discussion where a new member said that it was hard to make a lot of comments so they were looking up old discussions and copying parts of the comments because it was a lot of trouble to try and think of what to say when you have so many responses. And others are selecting best response after only a few hours of opening the discussion. And your rant is well appreciated. And I have been thinking about this same topic for about a week now. I haven't been here that long but mylot is changing very fast. I think there are many new members lately. I hope your hand is better and that you're recovering well from the surgeries. And a belated welcome back!
@cynthiann (18619)
• Jamaica
23 Sep 12
Thank you so much for your kindness in saying what you did. We seem to be bumping in to each other on Mylot so, if I may, I will request your friendship
@STOUTjodee (3476)
• United States
23 Sep 12
I hope I don't get removed from your friends list! I find your discussions and comments interesting. Since I still consider myself a newbie, there are times when I can't find my way around on mylot good enough to respond back to my friends. I was just thinking about some of my fiends here that I have added that I haven't heard much out of them today, but I'll stick around and keep plugging at it so I can hopefully learn more about my friends. I'm not here just to make money to build friendships and I guess if people don't want to interact with me, then it's their loss.
2 people like this
@mysdianait (64056)
• Italy
23 Sep 12
If I can relate then I will respond, if I have time and if I am not involved on another topic somewhere else. That often happens and then I get into a back and forth exchange that goes on and on and on - and others might think i am ignoring them but that is not the case at all. I'm sure you know that I too am wondering right now why I have so many on my list of friends. I wish that list had a different name as the majority of those on it are not 'friends' as I intend the definition. I don't even know why many of them sent a request either as I don't see them on my topics and some don't comment back when I respond on theirs either I have too many other things to do on here though and a lot of catching up with thousands of notifiers sitting in my mail, that the last thing on my list will be clearing up my fridn list. Many get lucky like that though as they don't deserve to be there
1 person likes this
@sishy7 (27598)
• Australia
23 Sep 12
O yeah, 'many' is an understatement... Believe me, I went through them for some reasons...
1 person likes this
@mysdianait (64056)
• Italy
23 Sep 12
We will come back to this comment five years from now ok? I wonder how many you will have on your list by that time
1 person likes this
@sishy7 (27598)
• Australia
23 Sep 12
I'll manage it under 300 if I can help it... In case there is anyone curious will only have to go through 10 pages maximum. Btw, are pictures missing from your end...?
@jenny1015 (13389)
• Philippines
23 Sep 12
Hello, dear! I understand how you feel. And maybe there are just a few who wanted to connect with us. I also wish that the respondents of my previously posted discussions would also comment back. But, well, they don't. And though it is frustrating, I can't do anything about it but spend my time looking for others who might be interested to connect with me.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (101852)
• Chile
24 Sep 12
I don´t think we can expect to have comments from everyone, but at least from some. I have seen posts with many answers and not a single comment from the person who started the "discussion".
@jenny1015 (13389)
• Philippines
24 Sep 12
That surely happens. Why do you think those who started the discussions do not even reply to the comments posted by the respondents?
@marguicha (101852)
• Chile
24 Sep 12
I would check on how many posts they make on a single day. If they make a lot of posts and don´t comment on any, I think they don´t have the least idea on what mylot is about. And I would not want him/her as friend.
@allen0187 (33910)
• Philippines
23 Sep 12
hi there marguicha. i definitely understand your point. you reply to discussions to create a conversation. the least that discussion starters can do is to respond back to those who have replied to their initial post. also, good point about friendships being compared to a two way road. definitely something worth remembering as we go through life. thanks a lot for sharing this nugget of wisdom marguicha. cheers and happy mylotting!!!
@marguicha (101852)
• Chile
24 Sep 12
That´s the only way, allen. I just checked at an answer I gave yesterday and there were several answers and no comments to any of them. I´ll do another checking tomorrow, considering that is Sunday and some people go out. But if there are still no comments (I don´t mean only to what I say) the mylotter will be deleted from my friend list. I don´t want my email to be spammed by notifications that those people started a discussion. If they don´t comment, they haven´t started anything. As for that sentence about friendship, the wise person was my mother.
@allen0187 (33910)
• Philippines
24 Sep 12
hi marguicha. well, i've read through some of the comments made by the other mylotters here in your discussion. everyone has raised a valid point and i do think that although there are valid reasons not to reply back to a response, it is always better to try to acknowledge what a poster wrote in your discussion. anyway, hopefully, everyone or at least a good part of the mylot population gets into the habit of replying back to the responses made by others. cheers and happy mylotting!!!
@marguicha (101852)
• Chile
24 Sep 12
I don´t think that it´s even possible to reply to every single answer a post gets. But ome people don´t reply to any answers. I guess they don´t even go back once to see what´s happening to their discussion.
• United States
23 Sep 12
I hope I'm on you friends list. Some posts I don't have anything to say. I'm sorry if you took that as being ignored. I read all your posts. Some I just can't answer.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (101852)
• Chile
23 Sep 12
Dear friend! I don´t expect that all my posts or answers get a comment. Noone does, I imagine. And I could not delete you! I don´t answer all your posts either. But today I checked on the posts I answered yesterday and none had beem commented by anyone. Most of those posts were made by people who did not comment on any of the answers they got. It´s not a paranoia in which I feel that I´m "the only poor one...". But if some people don´t know how to talk ever, I have no time to answer their posts as I´m not doing it for the money. My time has become very valuable now that I have cancer. It´s there, waiting. I have to make the most of the time I have.
2 people like this
• United States
23 Sep 12
You are fighting the good fight. You have no time for all this bullsh!t. Just promise me if you Ever leave My Lot , Please send me a PM with your email address. Then I'll send you mine. Ok?
@marguicha (101852)
• Chile
24 Sep 12
Thanks, friend! I will. I do have some very nice friends here who have taught me a lot. I hope that I won´t leave it in the near future (except if I find someone to go for a one week vacation with me). I´m trying to have as much fun as I can and I have had success. I am particulary happy with my garden now that Spring is here.
1 person likes this
@alottodo (3061)
• Australia
23 Sep 12
I hope I can still be on your friends list as I like your discussions I know I don't answer to all of them but I do most of the time! but lately I have answer to one or two and never had any replay from you...a mistake from MyLot maybe?...I know I don't post a lot but when I do I seldom get any responses from my friends here I guess I Am not a very popular person here.
@marguicha (101852)
• Chile
24 Sep 12
Dear friend, Noone expects anyone to answer all the posts or to comment on all the answers. But we try to do what we can. I´m doing as much as I can and I´m checking on those posts with belated answers if possible. But I know that I answer some of your posts and comment on others as I know your name and feel that you are one of the people I recognise as a friend.
@alottodo (3061)
• Australia
24 Sep 12
Thank you I'm glad I Am still your friend!
@SomeCowgirl (32270)
• United States
23 Sep 12
I know that I feel bad when I don't go back to respond to people so I do try my best. A lot of times I forget what I want to say, am not sure what I want to say, or forget about the discussion entirely and so it goes on untouched for awhile. I need to go through my "unresolved" discussion and go back as far as I can, read through everything and just comment, and give a best response. One thing I don't think any of use anymore is the best response option.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (101852)
• Chile
23 Sep 12
I don´t mean that we should comment to everyone of the people who respond. Sometimes there´s not much to say. But there are people who are acostumed to start conversations and never go back to them again. I saw that today I decided to stop answering to the posts made by them.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
23 Sep 12
Hi Marguicha I have gotten to be the same way . I once responded to like ten of this one young mans discussions and went back later he had not responded to any of o ur responses no commenting back at all. so I just remembered that user name and no longer bother responding as they all just sit there.its only right that the discussion maker should comment back as people took time and energy to send him responses.not just thank you either but a real comment back.yes I do not blame you for weeding out. I should do that too but am a bit lazy with all these hot fall da ys in Garden GroveCa
@marguicha (101852)
• Chile
23 Sep 12
As I just replied to one of my dear friends, my time has become very valuable now that I have cancer. It´s there, waiting. I have to make the most of the time I have. I will not waste it with people who come only to earn some cents ( nothing wrong with that, as long as they also play the game). I have several friend´s requests pending because I want to know first what will they give to our community. I check at their profiles and at their posts or responses. I will clean up little by little as it´s a boring task. But it´s worth it. There are some "friends" who haven´t logged in for months or years. Today we had a nice Spring day. I love sun, and was invited to a birthday party with barbecue and all. After the barbecue and before the cake I asked for a bed and took a nap. It was just what I needed.
1 person likes this
@sishy7 (27598)
• Australia
23 Sep 12
I go through my friends list every few months also and do my own 'cleaning'. It's not like I have a huge number of friends; but I just like to keep the list personal and manageable. I usually delete those who never log back in here for many months.
@marguicha (101852)
• Chile
24 Sep 12
I delete members who haven´t logged for a long time except for a couple of friends that I expect to have back at sometime of my life. But this cleaning up I´ll make now is with pewople who don´t bother to have a real conversation. Maybe some don´t know what that is, but most of them are here for the wrong reasons (I think).
1 person likes this
@sishy7 (27598)
• Australia
24 Sep 12
Or some have the wrong idea of 'more response = more earning'... Anyway, sometimes I get responses or comments that I cannot relate to; but I'd make an attempt to at least acknowledge their post as a courtesy. And I love it when I do connect with members here through discussions...
@marguicha (101852)
• Chile
24 Sep 12
You don´t have to comment on every single answer. It would end up being a punishment . But it´s nice to comment to some of the answers you recieve. As you say, the ones you can relate to more.
@varier (5699)
• Indonesia
24 Sep 12
I actually can't see any good point in friend lists other than to send/receive PMs. I don't use those friend's notifications since it will flood my email. I don't care whether they are replying on my responses or not. As long as they're not sending spams, they're still on my friend list..
@marguicha (101852)
• Chile
24 Sep 12
Mylot has a way to check the posts our friends wrote without having our mail spammed. But I, at least, discovered some features after I had too many friends. And my real friends are not too many. So, I´ll start deleting of placing that notification off.
@varier (5699)
• Indonesia
25 Sep 12
Haha, I see. So you prefer to manage those notifications. As for me, I prefer to respond on discussion that I interested in, not based on who had created it..
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
25 Sep 12
I'm awfully glad that I did decide to read through the end of your rant before I started to jump off on the offensive. Meaning as I was reading your discussion, I was thinking about the fact that there are a lot of times that it does take me a while to get around to responding to the discussions that I've started. However, I do always respond to them. In addition to that, I also consider you to be one of my true friends on here and I honestly believe that the feeling is mutual (or at least I hope that it is).
@marguicha (101852)
• Chile
27 Sep 12
It is mutual, friend. And of course, I don`t mean that we must respond or comment on every post we make, friends or not. I cannot write that much. But I see that some mylotters write many posts, get answers and never comment on any response. When one of them is my friend (meaning that I politely accepted them as friends) I feel he`s not the sort of person I want in my friend`s list. As for you dear, even if I don`t answer or comment in all your posts, I could write a resume of your life as I have read it, with your childhood, your marriage and children, your husband`s illness and many other things.
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
24 Sep 12
It may be mylot instead of your friends. I could not get my responses to go through yesterday.
@marguicha (101852)
• Chile
24 Sep 12
I don´t expect everyone to comment on everything. It´s too much, Jo. And I don´t even expect my closest friends to answer to all my posts. Some of my dearest friends are not interested on some of my interests. But I am refering to those people that never go back to the post they made and never comment on anything that anyone has ever answered. Of course I will have to check before deleting, but there are some names that you know as people who answer and you start knowing them. How could I not know that you adore your grandson? Others are mute after posting. You know what I mean?
@daeckardt (6245)
• United States
24 Sep 12
I know I don't have to worry about that with you, but with some of my other friends it might be a problem, especially on the ones that I am 7+ months behind on. I hate it when people don't at least acknowledge the fact that I sent a communication to them and it really does leave the responder hanging. I know that some of the discussions I responded to are from people who are probably no longer involved with the site and I guess that it is my own fault for having responded to them but I know that some of the people I responded to post 10+ new discussions every day and it bothers me that these people don't respond. I hope that you are able to get your list to a manageable state. Have a great week!!!
@marguicha (101852)
• Chile
24 Sep 12
Dear Debbie, I know you are my friend whether you answer my posts or not. When you don´t answer for some time I worry. But I worry about your health, not about us beinbg friends. Those people that post and post, but never answer or comment are the ones I don´t like (even if it has nothing to do with my answer).
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
23 Sep 12
I checked and found out that I am not in your friends list so I am glad that am unaffected. But again I rarely leave the responses to my discussions to fate. The guilty consciousness will haunt me should I not reply to the responses before starting new ones. I don't. Understand how othbe treating this ers can continue to post many discussions without even caring to reply their responses. I have such people in my friends list too who seem to treat mylot as a classroom, giving out questions for us to answer.
@marguicha (101852)
• Chile
24 Sep 12
I wasn`t really talking only about my friends and what they did or did not do to me. I don´t like people who write lots of posts yet won´t take the time to comment on some of the responses they got. Surely one or two will be interesting to the mylotter. It is that kind of people I´m not interested in having as a friend. I come here to have conversations.
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
23 Sep 12
It has been especially tough with the participation thing to visit the comments that have no answers because my notifications haven't been working. It is aggravating. I don't blame you. Friendship is a give and take relationship.
@marguicha (101852)
• Chile
24 Sep 12
I am not recieving notifications from mylot that someone has answered or commented on a post of mine either. It only sends me a notification about the friends who just started a post. I don´t like this new way because it´s more difficult to follow interesting threads.
• United States
23 Sep 12
I try to comment on as many people as I can, but with a busy school schedule, housework and crafting I do not always have time to come on here and chat. I come on whenever I can and try to make as much money as I can. A lot of people on here have busy lives and cannot always be on here. I chat when I can and when I do respond I make sure that I set time aside to do so. I am married, but since Randy and I moved just recently we have not had much time to make friends. I go to school online and so does randy. I am busy trying to get my Christmas crafts done so I can sell online in November.
@marguicha (101852)
• Chile
24 Sep 12
Please! I would never expect anyone to answer to all I write. As I said to another member here, it would start being like a punishment. But once in a while it would be nice. And by all means, if someone posts something, he must return to that post a couple of time and choose at least a couple of answers that he´d like to comment. I don´t mind if they are not my answers. Besides, you must know by now that commenting on answers is part of what is called participation, if you are seeking to earn here. !
@1corner (744)
• Canada
23 Sep 12
Well, for my part, I'm sorry I don't respond to each & every one of your discussions, nor to other friends' discussions, neither. I don't log in daily to mylot, and don't comment everytime I read someone's post for various reasons - lack of time, ideas to share, etc. despite it being better monetarily for me. I do keep in touch from time to time; still, I can't blame you for cleaning out your friends' list, perhaps me included. (Not a bad idea; I should do some deleting on my list of friends myself). I'll miss your fun topics if you do take me out.:(
@marguicha (101852)
• Chile
24 Sep 12
Please! I would never expect anyone to answer to all I write. As I said to another member here, it would start being like a punishment! But once in a while it would be nice. And by all means, if someone posts something, he must return to that post a couple of time and choose at least a couple of answers that he´d like to comment. I don´t mind if they are not my answers.
@cynthiann (18619)
• Jamaica
23 Sep 12
I think that we should become friends as I am so annoyed over ths. In fact, I recently checked with one person who asked me to be his friend about a month ago. I have answered all of his posts and he has not responded to either mine or any other posts. This has been going on for weeks! So I sent him a polite message as he is new to Mylot and said that if he did ot have the courtesy to respond when people have amnswered hs posts then he would soon lose friends. I really was respectful and kind but he did not respond. So I have turned off his notifier. He has neither responded to my few posts. I do not expect all my friends to respond to all my posts but they coud answer a few of them. But, however, I do expect that when I respond to a post then it will at least be acknowledged. I have finished my spring cleaning! Friendship is a two way street
@marguicha (101852)
• Chile
24 Sep 12
I agree to that. I don´t exppect anyone to answer to all my posts or to comment on all my answers. But sometimes responding at one or commenting one of our responses sounds like saying "hello! I know you are there. Hug!"
@shaggin (37643)
• United States
23 Sep 12
I dont recall if you have left me comments on my discussions or not but if I didnt comment back to them I am sorry. I try my best but sometimes its hard to come up with a reply to everyone so sometimes I wait awhile until I can think of one. Sometimes it takes a few dats or weeks. I just looked to see if we are friends on here and we are not so I sent you a friend request. I love getting notifications in my email when my friends post new discussions. I am here for the money but it is a fun use of my time as well as getting to know people and socialize.
@marguicha (101852)
• Chile
24 Sep 12
I am not speaking for myself only. I see some posts (too many, I´m afraid) where the person who posts it never comes back to check the answers she gets and maybe comment on a couple of answers that seem more interesting. This is not personal: it´s about how I see mylot.