Feel like giving up my passion to live

Malaysia
September 24, 2012 10:44am CST
Its not the depression that strikes me, its the people that I encounter at office, random people who gossip, and at home. People in the office are always finding a way to defeat me by talking rudely, it lower my confidence, when they act they know everything to beat me down, at home my parents are literally finding a way to blame me for everything because my brother moved out, I am jobless, always out of money, not married yet although already 31, and mom says many people who are my age is already successful, has family, cars, house, good job, and she further says I at least have a job because I am a loser now. While walking to the food stall that I regularly visits, often I heard people complaining about me, the bad girl in town, I think I want to move out from the small town I live now so that I can get peace. What do you think?
2 people like this
18 responses
• Philippines
24 Sep 12
That is a really rude thing. How come they are doing that to you? Didyou do soemthing that made them think like that? hmm.. If none, I think you should strive your hardest and let them feel that you don't need them to excel or something like that. STAND! and don't let them get in your way and don't mind them too. If you mind them that much, they will just ruin your day. Just live your life happily even if others are putting you down. Do what you want to do and don't let them stop you. You are the one who holds your life, so just keep yourself away from them and don't mind them :) If you think moving away is the best, you can do that too. But if it's me, I'll try my hardest to excel on my work and let them see who's the girl they are talking rudely about :D
• Malaysia
24 Sep 12
Yes power, They are doing this to me, because somebody spread rumors about me, she lives in this town a long time and i have just live for 15 years, its disturbing every day, I cannot forget once we are good friends now are enemy.
• Philippines
25 Sep 12
Sometimes in life, good friends can really be your worst enemy. You just have to overcome all those bad traits they give you friend and be strong. Even if you feel you want to give up. Just don't mind them and think happily ^^. Don't you have any friends there whom you can share your problems with?
@subhojit10 (7382)
• India
24 Sep 12
Hey i felt bad after hearing about your condition but i know u are a strong girl and a fighter in my view. It is not your fault at all if you are jobless or if your still unmarried. It is just a matter of luck that is not favoring u. But i think for all those who are always ready to throw comments on u, no need to move to any other city otherwise it would be like u loosing the battle and giving away the match to the opponent. If u think u are correct and hardworking then u should find an appropriate job for yourself in the coming days so that u can literally give a slap on all your critics and i am sure u will excel in your life. My best wishes are with u always. What say?
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
24 Sep 12
She thinks its part of my responsibilities to find a person and get married, I however I sadly cannot fulfill her wish, and days are coming faster, that my age no longer 20 years old, but i am praying each day I won't leave her alone that even when I get marry, I will come back to visit her and father. But she just want me out of her house that now its the time, what I did to her?
• Philippines
25 Sep 12
Oh, don't feel bad. You are not alone. I am 30 now. I am already married and have a son. We haven't finished paying our house yet. We don't have a car, we don't have any savings. I only have my job right now. That's all I've got. I am the breadwinner. I guess it's better for you to live in another place. You need to change your environment. Goodluck. I wish you all the best in life. Happy mylotting.
@babyeve (1051)
• Seychelles
25 Sep 12
Some people are jut born to make the lives of a others a living hell. You must never pay attention them, ignore them and do what you fell like whenever you feel like doing it. We do not choose our destiny, destiny chooses us and we must learn to strive no matter what. Tell your Mum that you are not everyone, you are you and don't compare you from others. Everyone blames you because they cannot be like you and live their lives as if they are the only one in the world. Pray my Dear, Prayer will help you get out of your turmoils. If you feel that to move to another town is going to help you to overcome all this, go ahead Dear, it is worth a try.
• Jacksonville, Florida
24 Sep 12
I have been told I am a piece of garbage too. People have told me I should have married someone better, I should not have had children when I did, I should work instead of staying home with my children, I should not be Home Schooling my daughter, etc, etc, etc... At the end of the day though it doesn't matter what those people say about you, it is what you think about you that really matters. If you think what they say is true than you can change things but if your happy with you and the decisions you have made that is all that matters! People can say whatever they want but they are not you and they don't walk in your shoes. Do not listen to people that try to bring you down, that is their goal. They want to get to you. If you ignore it and show them it no longer bothers you they will stop because it is no longer enjoyable for them. I enjoy Home Schooling my daughter and she is doing very well with it. I have no regrets, I love who I married and I am happy with ME. That is all that matters, I can sleep at night knowing I am a good wife and mother! =) You are a good person too so don't listen to others!! Be happy with yourself and never give up...
• Malaysia
24 Sep 12
Thanks for your advise loving, I don't mean to rant on this topic all the time, as I feel I am being played like a puppet in the office and at home, people can be irrating sometimes, and yes you are a good mommy, always there for your children no matter what, somehow people get jealous of our life and make it funny, yes if I don't care about them nothing can happen but it hurts me emotionally that I am such a brat, bad woman and such and such.
• Jacksonville, Florida
24 Sep 12
Don't worry about talking about it a lot. That is what you have people that care here for! We are here to listen and to brighten your day a little bit. The ones that get mad with repeated topics don't have to respond to it! I am happy responding and trying to make someone else a little happier. And I have been there too. And yes, people do get jealous at times of other people's lives and they say hurtful things for that reason too. It is sad and immature but it happens! It will hurt but if you ignore it and don't show them it hurts you they will stop. People say things like that to get a reaction from you sweetie. It is not easy to not let them see it but if you work at not giving them any kind of reaction it will stop. I have been there and people have done it to me...
• Malaysia
24 Sep 12
loving, sadly people won't stop talking as they feel happy to gossip, fill their boring time, I am sorry to hear you been there too, it makes you stronger, nice day will be bad day to me, hopefully tomorrow is a good one.
@jaiho2009 (39001)
• Philippines
24 Sep 12
I understand why you feel that way. But don't give up my dear. I have friends who are still single same like your age. Although, they're all successful with their careers. All you need to do right now is start looking for a job- then everything will be fine soon. The moment you find a job and start working-you can prove to your parents that you have made an achievement. Ignore people who gossips, they're not helpful but making you feel down. Be yourself...and prove to everyone your worth
• Malaysia
24 Sep 12
yea, jaiho sis Thanks for your comment, finding a job is not hard but doing it with people who are ready to mess up your life is the hardest part. Maybe I should go for voluntary work or go to another country to work. Regards, wcy
@jaiho2009 (39001)
• Philippines
25 Sep 12
hello sis, I guess working in other country is a good option. At least working with other people who doesn't know you personally will be a good help. Start it now and I believe you can make it
• United States
24 Sep 12
I think it is wrong of your mother to speak t you like that. your not the only one without a job. It could be worse you know. I would stay right there and find something to do with my days.. I would not let those words make me move out and not know where I am going or who I will meet up with. marriage is not for everyone and you should only get married when the time is right for you..
• Malaysia
24 Sep 12
you are right gifts, I know myself well, but since my own mom says this to me also, I feel quite sad, like no one trust me at all, moving out is not my choice either, how I want to stay longer there but she wants me out like I have mess up something, maybe I do offend her sometimes and I want to apologize, nothing more that I will do, yes marriage is only for those who can commit and the right person, I should not get upset on this either, maybe in future I can laugh about what I am writing now.
@lacieice (2065)
• United States
24 Sep 12
You say you're not depressed, but I think you are. No matter what anyone says to you, you see it in a negative way because you have low self-esteem right now, so it increases your depression. You need to pull yourself up, dust yourself off, and get active to fix what is wrong. You may need to see a professional to help you get things back on the right track. Try positive thinking and being proactive instead of just letting things happen. Work at it, and it will get better.
• Malaysia
24 Sep 12
These things that happen to me all the time bring me down, but in good days i am ok with it, these days it is not so good, i fell depressed, feel like nothing i can do except mourning for the loss of something preciouse like friendship. I shall go to see my psychiatrist in December, and tell her all about this, and see what she gonna say.
@francesca5 (1344)
24 Sep 12
i thought you had a job quite recently wongchoiyee, and if you live in a small town its not so easy to find new employment if one job finishes. people in small towns do gossip, though people may do it less in cities only because people don't know each other, which is not necessarily a good alternative. it might be a good idea to see if you get a job in a city, if it pays well enough for you to live alone, and given how long you have been on mylot, you must have very good english skills, that must be useful in a job. but also doing something else that interests you, like a hobby, would help build up your self esteem, whatever it might be, and you would meet different people, which is always good.
• Malaysia
24 Sep 12
yup
@Hatley (164507)
• Garden Grove, California
24 Sep 12
oh my dear wongchoiyee you are not any of those things. even if your own mom said that that d oes not make it true. I did not marry til I was 32 so you are not bad off.Also you need to hold your head up high, and remember gossips is just junk talking so do not believe it to be true. you are somebody,you are unique ,there is only one of you.Why not fight back by refuting what they say and showing you are not willing to be their victim anymore. they will then shut up as they are cowardly' when they gossip like that.YOu are not a loser.here in C alifornis there are hundreds of p eople out of work and they ar e not' worthless at all.tell yourself every day I like myself, I am unique and I am somebody.we all are somebodies. hold your head up high and believe you are unique as you are. a good unique,People can talk trash but that nev er makes it tr ue.look people are people all over the world and I have met these same people you talk of rigtht here in my own state. I ignore cruel gossiop and if necesarry I will counter back asking them if they do not have anything better to do then run me down. that will shut them up.
• Malaysia
24 Sep 12
That is quite upsetting to me and to all of you who heard this statement coming out from my mouth. Maybe some of you don't believe there is such a mom, but really she is such a mom, I feel sad my mom said this to me, who only favors her son who is my brother more, I don't care how she likes him, but do not disrespect me, that is very vital aspect. And Hatley you are a good person, I take your advise and others too, I believe Californians too should continue to believe they are unique and not somebody's puppet.
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
26 Sep 12
There are many different ways that people choose to live their lives. There are some people that opt to start a family when they are young and there are others that wait until they are much older to start a family. Even more than that, there are some people that are more free-spirited and those people do tend to take a lot of time to decide what they want to do with their lives. This doesn't mean that people should judge you for the personality that you have. In a certain sense, I have to say that I agree with you that things might be easier if you lived away from everyone that knew you because people that do not really know you might be more hesitant to judge you.
@asliah (11148)
• Philippines
25 Sep 12
My friend, don't mind them.Do not stress to much for what you heard. Just do your best to change your life. Show them that you have worth also as a person. I think, you are right, you should move to other place for a new life and to begin your life with value.
• Portugal
25 Sep 12
choy dont care for what people say. i know that people can be really mean sometimes. but its not fair that you have to change town. they should change for being so bad. about people call you a loser dont care for what they say. you are only 31. so its ok if you are not married. thats better than marry just to say: hey, im married. you are not bcs you didnt find the right guy yet. and kids you can still have it^^ just after 50 years old it starts to be dangerous to have kids but before it, some women have and kids are healthy. you still have a long way to 50^^ cheer up and keep working hard. if your parents say bad things to you, maybe you can try to go to another appartment. and about people in the town dont care for what they say^^ if they see that their comments dont affect you they will stop. the best is to ignore. bcs if you move town you will have to look for a new job again, what is hard to find nowadays, you will have to rent an appartment and many other changes. wait till you have a stable life and then maybe you can move to another city and start fresh. meeting new people and find a new job. but just when you have some money saved. bcs if you change city and then cant find a job the money you have saved can be a good help till you find a new one.
@jenny1015 (13389)
• Philippines
25 Sep 12
You should not let other people hurt you by all those negative things they throw at you. If you leave town, it is just like accepting that indeed you are a loser. Why not uplift yourself and look things in a brighter perspective. We know that we do not need those people just to be able to continue with life. But proving them wrong with what they have been telling about you can boost your self esteem.
• Philippines
25 Sep 12
I guess if I were in your shoes I'd probably feel a bit sad. But sometimes, those lines or whatever you may call it are one of the few things that should get you motivated. Nowadays you can't exist by just being a pushover..you have to live and to do that, you might as well dance to the tune or you'll just end up feeling the loser which you should never be in the first place if you just know how to take criticism well. But I really don't agree with your parents' rantings and comparing you to others of your same age. We all have a unique personality, we all have our shining moments, and speaking as a mom, I'd never deny my children the guiding love they need.
• China
25 Sep 12
i think you should not move,you should know why people think about you,if the reasons from you and it is true,i think you can change yourself and people will like you,moving is not the way to solve probem.i think it can help you,good luck!
@ehlsie27 (49)
• Philippines
25 Sep 12
You know, all that you're going through are just trials. God is testing how strong you are. If I were you I'll just let them do what they want, as long as you love what you do, don't stop. If you are doing your best to help your parents or to find a job, it's okay. Maybe they don't know what you feel that is why they are acting like that. If you want to move out and your parents approve, do it with all means. But if they don't yet you really want to, tell them your reason. If they really love you, they will understand.
@stk40m (1119)
• Koeln, Germany
24 Sep 12
despite of all the sh*t going on around you you can still be proud of yourself. You are a very sensitive person which is not a bad thing. Quite the contrary. You can very well distinguish between right and wrong. Clearly the people that harass you are obviously not capable of that. They are superficial. Their life has no meaning. You are capable of seeing the positive side in things. Abide to that, it will make you mentally strong. Avoid taking the others too serious, look at their behavior as a weakness because it is a weakness. Try to find a job which you think you can handle. If you don't earn too much but still earn enough that can be better than earning more but having to do with a**holes at the same time. Btw, that's the reason why they're a**es because they don't want to share, you know. In a way, they fear you, especially your mental strength. So don't let it show too much and don't let them make you think you are the guilty one. Coz they are (but don't tell 'em :D). Well, that's just what I think, I don't really know the conditions you're living in and the people you're dealing with. So, in the end, you will know better. as for not being married, I can't give you any advice here since I don't know how important it is for women in your country to be married. Besides I'm male lol. But if you can afford not being married enjoy your life. A husband doesn't necessarily mean more joy and having to care for kids can also be quite exhausting :-) But I guess, if you want a partner you'll find one. Just keep searching in that case. Cheers