I will never forgive myself

September 27, 2012 5:23pm CST
My youngest child doesn't use her highchair any more, so I gave it to my sister for her baby. As far as I knew there was nothing wrong with it, my toddler sat in it a couple of weeks ago at my sister's house and it was fine. Today my sister was feeding her 6 month old baby in the highchair, and the back collapsed without warning. The baby fell head first onto a tiled floor. She was in hospital for hours, they have established that there is no bleeding on her brain, but she has a minor skull fracture. I feel as responsible as if I had personally dropped the baby, and I would understand if my sister blames me for this.
5 people like this
13 responses
@Raine38 (9029)
• United States
28 Sep 12
I can understand how you feel, but I am sure that your sister knows it was never your intention to hurt the baby or to give a defective highchair. I'm sure nobody did, but there are things called accidents. Nobody wanted nor expected for it to happen. The most important thing right now is to see that the baby gets the right treatment and be nursed back to health. That's top priority, please do no think so much about the incident for now. Once everything has settled down and the baby is okay, I'm sure everyone will agree that it is not your doing which caused the accident.
3 people like this
• United States
27 Sep 12
There is no reason to feel like this at all. You did not make the child fall out the seat. Your child sat in the seat and was fine. these things happen. I do hope you don't stress out over this.
2 people like this
27 Sep 12
I really feel like I dropped her on her head myself by giving her the chair
2 people like this
28 Sep 12
I completely understand why you feel like this,its human nature, but it really wasn't your fault. If blame is to be placed anywhere it is with the manufacturer. They are meant to conduct tests to ensure the safety of the child as well as adhere to strict regulations. You were not to know that the chair back was going to collapse otherwise im sure you wouldn't have given it to your sister. I'm so glad the hospital found no bleeding in the brain, and im sure your sister wont blame you for this either
2 people like this
• Canada
28 Sep 12
I'm with anix on this one ... If anyone is to blame, it is the manufacturer for sure!
2 people like this
• Canada
28 Sep 12
Oh hun, I am so sorry that happened to your sisters baby, BUT you do realize that it is NOT your fault! Sometimes things happen and they are called accidents for a reason because it wasn't done on purpose. Thank goodness baby is okay, and I'm sure once baby is back to top notch health your sister isn't going to blame you for it either. She may be mad or upset reasonably so, but it's not at you! Every mother has what I call "Momma Bear Instinct". Best of luck!
2 people like this
28 Sep 12
I know it wasn't really my fault, but it doesn't stop me feeling guilty. If I hadn't given her the highchair, it wouldn't have happened. I know if it had happened to one of my babies I would have been looking for someone to blame, so I will accept the blame if my sister feels I should take it.
3 people like this
• Canada
28 Sep 12
I completely undrestand why you feel guilty marianne, I'm sure I would too if I were in your shoes. Just be happy that baby is fine, and I'm sure that you and your sister will be fine, I doubt she holds you responsible and/or blames you!
2 people like this
• India
29 Sep 12
Dear Marianne, Please don't blame yourself for this. You never intend doing any such thing to the baby. It was just an accident that happened with the highchair you gave your sister. The good thing is that the baby is fine. No internal bleeding is there. You certainly are not responsible for this accident. It could have happened even with a newly bought chair. May the baby recover soon.
@sid556 (31006)
• United States
29 Sep 12
OMG...that is horrible!!! Please don't blame yourself. That would be the makers of the chair. I've used high chairs that were antiques and not had that happen. There just had to be something defective with the chair. I doubt your sister would blame you for this. At least I'd hope she wouldn't. I hope the baby is alright!
2 people like this
• United States
28 Sep 12
I very much doubt your sister will blame you for not knowing that the high chair was defective. In fact, it is far more likely that she is blaming herself right now for the incident. She is the child's mother, and she did not suspect the defect.
2 people like this
@Paper_Doll (2376)
• Philippines
28 Sep 12
Don't blame yourself for what has happened. It was never your intention to hurt your sister's child in the first place. I believe that as a mom/parent, you are the one responsible for your child. That is why you check first if the milk is too hot before giving it to your baby right? You make sure everything is safe for your child to use or to consume.
2 people like this
• Canada
29 Sep 12
It's not your fault at all. Afterall, had you known it was going to do that, I'm 100% sure you'd never have given it to her. How old is the chair? Can she sue the company?
1 person likes this
@deedee328 (1127)
• United States
30 Oct 12
marianne: First of all, you cannot blame yourself for an accident. As you said, your very own child had sat in this chair and there appeared to be nothing wrong with it. Accidents do happen and we have no control over them. It could be simply that the chair back became unstable from being moved and nobody noticed. It is natural for you to feel responsible, but you must convince yourself that you are not responsible! I am glad that the baby will be alright. I will keep all of you in my prayers.
@jenny1015 (13390)
• Philippines
6 Oct 12
You gave the highchair in good faith. You would never want any danger befall your niece, I am sure. You shouldn't blame yourself for what happened. It was an accident. Nobody wanted that to happen. Cheer up!
@mermaidivy (15417)
• United States
3 Oct 12
It is very unfortunate but I don't think you should blame yourself for it, like I said it is unfortune but it is nothing you and your sister would want to see happen. I can understand your sister is angry and upset though because it is about her baby so it is understandable that she reacts extreme. let time takes care of it and I hope your sister's baby will get well soon.
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
30 Sep 12
Though I can completely see why you will never be able to forgive yourself for this happening, it is really not something that is your fault. Accidents happen all the time and frequently these accidents are not anyone's fault, we just blame ourselves for it. What I would do, however, is to make sure and report the accident to the manufacturer of the high chair, you don't know, this might not be the first time that this has happened and reporting it could be something that will keep someone else's child from getting injured.
@Hatley (164755)
• Garden Grove, California
29 Sep 12
oh my marianne it was not your fault as you thought it was safe as your child had used it.I am sorry the accident happened but it was an accident .it was not your fault.I bet your sister does not lame you as she must know you love her and would never have given her the high chair had you known it could ha ppen,.