Issues with In-laws (specially mom)

@leeandrew (1226)
Philippines
October 2, 2012 10:34pm CST
Sigh! deep sigh! I know that in one way or another mom-in-law and daughter-in-law will always get flaws from each other even though they won't say it. Mine is not that big issue co'z I have tolerance of not so good things especially if it's a family matter. I just don't like it when she tries to compare people from people. Maybe she didn't mean it but it's kinda irritates me when she comment on people as if she is not like them. It bogs me too how she treated herself then not admitting that she complains. Here's why's of these rant: We adopted hubby's family for they needed of help so much or else if we don't help them they'll be street people now (I mean people who lives in the streets), I am exaggerating this here (hahaha!) Honestly, they just needed our help for shelter and food. I don't care and I don't mind them living with us what bogs me is how mom rant over almost all things (I don't blame her though because she lives a not good life). We cook good food: she won't eat it but instead get the leftover food from the previous meal and make it her food. She won't rest, she kept on doing things to make her busy but complains that she feel sick ( I told her to take a rest). She spoils her kids but complains that they don't have any initiative (how could they think of that when mommy is "superwoman"?) Don't get me wrong. I love my mom-in-law. I'm just not myself at times sometimes. Oh goodness.. all I want is leave the house and enjoy myself somewhere where there is a friend.
1 person likes this
5 responses
@riyauro (6431)
• India
3 Oct 12
Yeah it is true that it is hard for a mother to get along with the daughter in law and vice versa. I have my mother in law who have always complaints about something or other even though we stay separately. I get tired of her this behavior. Though everything will be in its, she will still come up with something or other. I understand what you mean in this discussion. Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful day ahead.
@leeandrew (1226)
• Philippines
3 Oct 12
Well, when we were still living separately, she would come to me to tell about things. Of course as her son's wife my hearts goes out for her/them. Then I told hubby that let's try living together for a year and if the doesn't work out then lets leave and move somewhere. the sole purpose of this living together though was and is to help them at least eat thrice a day co's they were then in dire needs. She's a great help though at some point and I'm grateful as well it's just I don't feel well at her some times and probably she thinks I'm just okay!
1 person likes this
@riyauro (6431)
• India
3 Oct 12
okay, I think you have been very helpful but then she is irritating sometime. So if you were have to go separate then how will she survive?
• Philippines
3 Oct 12
Oh, she's like my mom-in-law. When she does things, she usually complains afterwards. Or, if she wants other people to do it, her tactic is to get extremely angry to get their attention and do whatever she wants. LOL. When we cook, she can't wait that you'll give her voluntarily. She's already there bargaining for the food, which is still uncooked. LOL. I hate her sometimes but what can I do? She's my husband's mom. I just have to respect her and understand her at all times. Happy mylotting.
@leeandrew (1226)
• Philippines
3 Oct 12
Hi. Your comment made me smile co'z it's the same thing with me. she waited for the food to cooked though but whenever I make something, buy something or cook something, she would always say, ooh... that's my favorite, or dad my youngest son favorite or this is my youngest daughter favorite. Everything seems their favorite. hahahaha. what bogs is... I feel that I'm being robbed of my favorite too (too childish of me I know, but I cannot help myself). Let's just hope we wouldn't be like them when we're in their shoes and have in-laws. I hope and pray that hubby and I would be our daughter or son in-law favorite. :D
1 person likes this
• Philippines
3 Oct 12
LOL. We must avoid doing what our in-laws doing so that our daughter or son-in-laws will love us. We already know what are the possible things that would create gaps so I guess it will be easier for us to get along with our future daughter or son-in-laws. Happy mylotting.
@adnileb (5023)
• Philippines
3 Oct 12
I know how you feel. But it is not me with my FUTUTRE mother-in-law. It's my mom with her late mother-in-law. And I hate so much [may she rest in peace]. I don't what it is with that relationship that turns some families to be not in good condition. I think there are only some in-laws with that kind of attitude. I think mine in the future will turn out good. Go, leave the house for a whil and breathe fresh air and see nice looking people all over the place. Don't get too exhausted.
@leeandrew (1226)
• Philippines
3 Oct 12
I wish you well with your future mom in-law. You'll preserve your good relationship with her or them when you don't get contact with them all the time or live distance from them. But it's really not same thing when you live together in the same roof. I'm sorry for your mom's heartaches with her mom in-law. Some not good things sometimes happen with mom and daughter in-law. I just hope and pray that this won't happen to me :). What I'll do is stay away from them and just see them from time to time. I'm kinda hard person myself too :D
@adnileb (5023)
• Philippines
4 Oct 12
Thanks! It will be soooon, very soon I hope. I have been with them, four days maximum because I just went to their province for vacation. Their family is sweet and kind so I think there wouldn't be any problem in the future. So, have you breathe a fresh air now? Hope everything's fine now. Have a nice day!
@alottodo (3062)
• Australia
3 Oct 12
I never had to put up with my inlaws[ and I miss that!] because they lived in another country...but if they came to live in my home they would have to put up with my way of running the household!
@leeandrew (1226)
• Philippines
3 Oct 12
I'm jealous. for sure your always in good shot with them. I'm actually looking forward that some day my in-laws will be in good financial status in life co's whenever we're low with finances issues really arises. I don't mind helping but doing it regularly with the same person over and over again is a different story, specially when you too needs to cost cut but you just can't co's there are others that really depended on you. It's okay when they come stay with you for short time co's you can still put up with them but when they stayed longer you need to buckle belt tight because it might be loosen off :) happy mylotting to you!
@Raine38 (9036)
• United States
3 Oct 12
As what my mom always tells me, in a household, there can only be one king and queen. And she's right. Your mom in law being a mother and wife of your husband also have some sort of authority over him, and in effect, you and your kids. But that authority should have its limitations especially when it encroaches your own authority as the wife and mother at your own house. I do understand that in your case, it is necessary for them to live with you and that's okay. That's what family is all about, to take care of each other and help out when necessary. Mayne you can talk to your husband about your issues, in a nice way of course because it's still is mother after all. Let him be the one to talk this out with him, let them have a mother and son heart to heart talk.
@leeandrew (1226)
• Philippines
3 Oct 12
Thanks for the advise Raine! I can always talk to my husband anything I want to say or tell him about his family. He know that I have nothing against them that much though. It's just mom's action irritates me probably because she's getting older and I am too. So my patience is getting shorter too. But I know I need to understand her with all my might after all hubby has my blessing when his family live with us. Your mom is right as well that there's only one king and one queen in a house. My hubby is probably the king but I cannot be the sole queen, there's three of us: me, mom in-law and sister in-law. God bless anyway!