Rejection

@rubyroy (824)
India
October 3, 2012 3:27am CST
My friend feels dejected,when somebody doesn't like her ideas,she didn't talk to me for one week and ignored me for more than two weeks.That is she will reply to my questions and nothing more.Since I am a good friend of hers she expect me to accept all her ideas without any questioning,which I refused.I told that she needs a psychiatric counseling for this weird idea of hers,for which she got angry.She told everybody that I had called her mad.I never called her mad,I just suggested that she needs counseling for her behaviour.Have I said something wrong to her?
2 people like this
8 responses
• Philippines
6 Oct 12
Wow. It's nice that you've suggested counseling, but maybe she got the wrong message when you mentioned psychiatric.. I think her case would still be manageable under a Guidance Counselor.. If she goes amok with your contradictions, then that's when a shrink is a better idea. :) Okay, about your friend, I do hope she learns to listen.. She really won't be open to any other idea unless she realizes that she can't always impose what she wants or her ideas on others. You're her friend, you know her sweet spots, let that guide you into sweet talking her into changing. You don't have to force her, let her see the good points of her ideas then make her realize too what needs to be improved on. :) if she changes, then kudos to you! You've made someone's life improve for the better! :)
@WakeUpKitty (8707)
• Netherlands
3 Oct 12
This is not a friend you are talking about. Friends don't behave like that. This person is for sure someone with low self esteem who is only with you so you can make her feel better. If you don't say what she likes to hear you turn out to be a bad (or mad) person. Kind of weird, a friend should appreciate the truth, any help of advice even if she has no intention to follow it (free will to do so or not). Don't let this so called friend abuse you, use you, make you feel bad or sad about yourself. Also don't jump if that friend says you have to! Be in charge of your own life and happiness. Pamper yourself, meet other people and set your own goals. Those who believe what this person is telling around about you are not worth your attention and energy either. It's clear they are not willing to know you at all. For sure is they will know your so called friend (sooner or later) and find out what kind of person she really is. Keep your door shut, you surely did not or said something wrong. BTW even if you did so, good friends should be able to talk abou that without out stabbing the back of the other.
1 person likes this
@thesids (22362)
• Bhubaneswar, India
3 Oct 12
Definitely yes. telling someone who is ill that s/he is ill is definitely unhealthy. Your friend is depressed right now and as you say - feeling dejected. So you shouldnt have been blunt and telling her to seek a psychiatric counseling for this weird idea of hers. And also, maybe you got the wrong tone when saying it upfront. There might have been a better way to handle this.
@rubyroy (824)
• India
3 Oct 12
She always sides with me when I have a difference of opinion with others and keep on harping about that all the time.I had told her many times not to take my side,if she thinks I am wrong,but then she refuses to do so,and I was really getting worried about this attitude of hers.
@thesids (22362)
• Bhubaneswar, India
3 Oct 12
She always sides with me when I have a difference of opinion with others and keep on harping about that all the time.I had told her many times not to take my side,if she thinks I am wrong,but then she refuses to do so This definitely tells me that she is a good friend. It complicates the matter right now as this time she is against you. Maybe she took the advice of consulting the psychiatrist wrongly or you sounded more blunt. Never that late. Go to her and meet her in person and clarify the things. I am sure she will understand. And also, give her space. It is depression that she might be undergoing so try to find that cause and cure it. Good Luck
1 person likes this
@beamer88 (4268)
• Philippines
3 Oct 12
Some people are a bit sensitive to certain words. I guess she really wasn't pleased by your use of the word "psychiatric." It does seem to imply that she has problems with her mind. Maybe a softer word would've been better. I think your friend is just emotionally immature and needs to grow up but I don't think psychiatric intervention is needed yet. Just my opinion
@rubyroy (824)
• India
3 Oct 12
This incident use to happen many times and finally I put my foot down and refused her.Then she got angry and stopped talking to me.
@beamer88 (4268)
• Philippines
3 Oct 12
Well, if this type of thing has been occurring quite often, maybe you're right that she needs some counseling of some sort. But I think the important thing here is how to tell her. Sometimes being blunt isn't effective especially to people like your friend. Like I said, 'softer' words might be better and probably more effective.
1 person likes this
@TLilly12 (1230)
• United States
14 Feb 13
This person has serious problem, she want you to agree with everything that she does, and she don't like it when people reject her, she had better wake up, people are not going to agree with everything, some one does this is the real world, there are people out here that will reject her, so she will be mad with the whole world then, and never speak to any one again.
@KOSTAS499 (1625)
• Greece
15 Oct 12
Some people expect us to say yes in everything and when we don't they get mad. They just won't change. So, if your friend is like that you will always have problems. But it is your place as a good friend to always tell her the truth and warn her if she is about to do something wrong. Hopefully she will appreciate that.
• China
4 Oct 12
Sometimes we need our best friends to encourage us. However, I think your friend is a little bit unreasonable, it is impossible to meet everyone's demands, so she should accept others' ideas no matter they agree with her or not. Maybe she just does not want to accept that she is not always right, and you should help her to accept this fact.
@riyauro (6430)
• India
3 Oct 12
well if she is doing this all the time then there is something wrong with her seriously. you also have your tolerance limit and then you have to opt for rejection. You have your own life rather than listening to anyone else's crap.. i tell you, do not bother. Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful day ahead.