I can be jealous inside but sweet outside.....

@bembzee (769)
Philippines
October 5, 2012 1:54am CST
I was with my boyfriend in the mall last weekend. We accidentally bumped to his old school mate, from whom i heard to be his first crush. She is very feminine in her faded mini skirt and tube top. She looks very cute since she is only 5 ft. tall. She is a total different of me. From straight hair to doll shoes, while I have a curly hair and a pair of old rubber shoes. I managed to smile when he approached us. She was inviting him to attend the debut of her cousin, which was answered by my boyfriend, no. They had a little chat before we finally leave. I don't understand how i would feel. All i wanted was to scream and hit my boyfriend. I was very- very jealous, worst than i've ever imagined. He knew all along how i felt, he sensed it. He gave me a light reassuring hug and a, "not to worry smile." And i burst into cry.
1 person likes this
13 responses
@adforme (2116)
6 Oct 12
I had a discussion on jealousy not too long ago. It is a very consuming emotion. At least you are honest about your feelings. Your boyfriend seems very understanding, and that will help you through your emotions. Just understand that when you can be honest with yourself, you can take steps to controlling your actions and communicate with your boyfriend on how to respect your feelings without hurting or upsetting you.
@bembzee (769)
• Philippines
6 Oct 12
He never stop making me feel special. He is actually over protective. He don't want to upset me or get me angry because he know that i am stubborn and make drastic moves such as breaking up.But you are right when you say about emotions, consuming a right objective and believe to see no reasons. I should know how to handle that.
@adforme (2116)
6 Oct 12
Jealousy is hard to deal with, but at least you are dealing and not denying. You are in touch with your emotions, and your boyfriend is supportive of your happiness. I hope you two will have a great relationship.
@bembzee (769)
• Philippines
6 Oct 12
I really believe that we will both make this relation work out. And i know we will face many challenges but they say love surpass all tests of time. And i believe so.
@shreed_14 (460)
• India
5 Oct 12
Hello there. I can understand your feeling. That is a natural feeling. I, myself, am in a relationship for the past three months and I feel jealous whenever he even mentions any of his crushes or any other girl who had a crush on him. Though I don't show it, he still understands my feeling and tries his level best to reassure me. I think that really very sweet of your boyfriend as well. I mean, the way he sensed how you felt and gave you a light reassuring hug. It shows that he really loves you and cares for you. And as for the jealousy cropping up. Don't worry about it. It just shows that you love him too. And that too a lot.
@bembzee (769)
• Philippines
6 Oct 12
I feel quite secure and happy now. But yes, you are right sometimes it's normal to get jealous. It only reminds us the value of a person in our life.
1 person likes this
• India
6 Oct 12
That is right. It just reminds us of the importance of that person. And I am glad my words worked in making you calm and happy.
@bembzee (769)
• Philippines
6 Oct 12
I appreciate every words of advice i can get. It can help a lot by weighing things. myLot is like a chat room, i really love the feeling.
@rs1982 (99)
• United States
5 Oct 12
Wow..bembzee..being jealous is one thing but you do have a really cute bf. You know, it is perfectly fine to feel jealous..but when you know your guy, I guess, the jealousy melts away soon. No harm in feeling a little or more possessive..well, it is how it is. Some people brush off such encounters but a few do take it to heart. Its a very nice gesture of your guy to give you a hug and "do not worry" smile immediately..not many think of doing so. He could have said yes..or he cold have asked her to join you guys for some coffee etc. but he didn't..Maybe you can feel light headed! Good luck..and don't let go of such a sweet guy who wants to die without you..i made that mistake..don't want to see others repeating it!
@bembzee (769)
• Philippines
6 Oct 12
I know from the start that he is not one ordinary guy. He is very sweet and he don't mind showing it to the public when ever he feels to. And that he never stop showing his love in so many ways.
@bembzee (769)
• Philippines
7 Oct 12
I'm too young to ask that balipromo. I need to finish my college first. I love him and i would love to get married someday with him. I am enjoying his company and so he is.
@aejey322 (1006)
• Philippines
5 Oct 12
I think it's normal for us to feel jealous. I've been there. We feel it especially if the girl is somewhat "a little better" than us. we feel insecure about it. But if our partners will let us feel that we have nothing to worry about... well, let's believe them. But let us also make our eyes and ears alert.
@bembzee (769)
• Philippines
5 Oct 12
Jealousy can do good if you know how to handle it. It can also harm if you get blinded and avoid listening to reasons. So it is best that you learn a lesson from it. In my own views, i want to believe what my heart says because my heart is the one feeling the intense emotion that the eyes cannot see.
@aejey322 (1006)
• Philippines
8 Oct 12
@subhojit10 (7384)
• India
5 Oct 12
Hey i can understand how much u love and care about your boyfriend. I know u must be feeling a little jealous from inside but that is pretty much a normal feeling when suddenly your partner strikes a conversation with their first crush. But i think u should give more space to him so that he never realizes the over possessiveness that u have for him as it might hamper the relationship also. Try to accept everything and more importantly have faith on him. What say?
@bembzee (769)
• Philippines
5 Oct 12
I believe i am a strong woman but i never expected to be that weak into simple matters. Jealousy is a feeling of insecurity. I can' t be secure to the man i love because i am afraid of losing him. How ironic, you will never know how important a person to you unless you are into a given situation of doubts. And i really hate that feeling.
@bembzee (769)
• Philippines
6 Oct 12
When you are secure, everything about him you fully understand already. A commitment that may lead to possible marriage as you say. I hope we will come to that point.
• Indonesia
7 Oct 12
so why you don't try to change your appearance? I think it doesn't matter if your hair is curly, just ask you friend how to make up your appearance but matching with your self.
@bembzee (769)
• Philippines
7 Oct 12
I'm thinking about doing that. Though i need all the courage to change my image. Perhaps, in due time. All i need is timing and unnoticed moves? LOL. I sound trying hard. LOL.
@AJ1952Chats (2340)
• Anderson, Indiana
6 Oct 12
What you need to remember is that your boyfriend chose you. Even if he and his first crush are friends and if he had accepted her invitation, your boyfriend has still chosen you. Knowing this should help you with your feelings of jealousy. I think that, if your boyfriend were to have accepted her invitation, it would have been nice of him to ask if he could bring a date to the debut of her cousin. If she said that this would be okay, that would further prove that you had nothing about which to worry. I remembered when my dad retired and he started catching up with old friends. One day, we drove around his hometown and he introduced me to a few people. One of them was his old high school principal, and another one was a woman he used to date before he met and married my mom. We all just sat around her living room for awhile talking. Then, we left and went to the next place where we'd be visiting. My mom was still working at the time, so she wasn't there, but she didn't mind at all that I got to meet Betty. My dad also knew at least one of my mom's old boyfriends who was named Whitey (likely, a nickname). They were both faithful in their marriage of almost 57 years. They understood that each one of them had dated others, and that was okay--including its being okay to still be friends with former boyfriends and girlfriends. I went to the wedding of one of my former boyfriends and celebrated the engagement of another former boyfriend and his girlfriend. In fact, I even did things like baby-sit her kids so that she and Charlie could go on dates together. Unfortunately, both marriages ended in divorce but not because of me. C. left Gary because it turned out that she wanted to be with some guy her mom and dad didn't like, and she was just marrying Gary (who met her parents' approval) to get away from home so she could run off with the other guy. It broke Gary's heart. After a few years (and two more kids of their own) of being married to Charlie, J. left him because she had just decided that she was tired of being married. This is sad, but it happens sometimes. Charlie ended up married to a woman who was more mature and knew what she wanted out of life. At first, she was just saying that nothing was Charlie's fault--that it was just her. Then, J. started talking trash about him and saying that he was a lazy Mama's boy. Charlie was (and still is) very close to his mom (which I see as a beautiful trait and not a negative one), and he was never lazy. He worked full time while going to college to get two degrees (one undergrad and one graduate), and he, eventually, got a more challenging job. When I heard what J. had been saying about Charlie, I felt like getting in her face and reading her the riot act. Anyway, it's important to understand that--unless someone is actually trying to break you and your boyfriend up--it would be asking too much to ask your boyfriend not to have anything to do with his former girlfriend. Why? Because you would be asking him to give up a friend.
@bembzee (769)
• Philippines
6 Oct 12
Even if he chose me i can still be very-very jealous. Wish i can be like you. But i cannot pretend that i feel ok about her crush and that they can be a good friend. I'm sure it will be a depressing part to me. i can't bear the thought of them together, talking and smiling while discussing something.
@Jshean20 (14373)
• Canada
6 Oct 12
I am also a very jealous person so I feel your pain. There have been many times where my body fills with rage and my heart races and I just feel so jealous and it's out of control. No one has ever broke my heart before so I don't know why I get so jealous, but it's almost like I feel betrayed when I feel jealous also.
@bembzee (769)
• Philippines
6 Oct 12
We cannot control what we feel especially how our heart will react into certain situation. Jealousy is a feeling which i really hate. Like you, i also get easily jealous. Probably we are both possessive with our man.
@stary1 (6622)
• United States
6 Oct 12
bembzee..I remember moments like this...and while your boyfriend will be somewhat flattered I am sure you know to keep yor jealosy in control. He sounds like a good guy and remember he did say no to his ex...
@bembzee (769)
• Philippines
6 Oct 12
Yes. He did say no to the invitation. I know it was just a friendly conversation between them but still i appreciate what he did. I hope he'll really stay that way.
@silverfox09 (4727)
• United States
5 Oct 12
We all been there at times , you sound really loving too . Be confident in how you look because he is with you so there must be more to you than meet the eyes . Dont let another girl get the best of you. So dont worry continue to be you because no other girl can be you . You sound like you really love him and he would be a blind to not see that .
@bembzee (769)
• Philippines
6 Oct 12
I almost forgot how i love him from the start. Maybe because i taken him for granted, but after what happened i felt reminded how he is in my life. can't bear the thought of losing him.
@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
5 Oct 12
Oh well, I find it cute It's a normal feeling so nothing to worry about- cheer up. At least your boyfriend gives you the assurance and that is enough
@bembzee (769)
• Philippines
6 Oct 12
And i am grateful, he never let me feel troubled. Every woman wants a secure relation and he always see to it that he is their at all times.
• United States
5 Oct 12
At least your boyfriend felt it that you are jealous. :) And thankful that your boyfriend knows his place. :D
@bembzee (769)
• Philippines
5 Oct 12
Yes, he is very devoted and very vocal in his feelings. He's not afraid to talk with my parents. At his age, he seem to know where he want us to lead. And he keeps on telling me that if i let him go he'd rather die.
• Philippines
5 Oct 12
I know how that feels. Makes you feel like a volcano, ready to explode anytime :). I have experienced that a lot of times in the past and my boyfriend will just tell me that there's no need for me to worry. You just have to trust your man and maybe, you can tell him that next time, he better not talk to other girls :)
@bembzee (769)
• Philippines
5 Oct 12
I understand him actually. He said he can't be that impolite especially to women. I wanted to trust him but my heart is complaining. I know he truly he loves me because he makes it sure that i can feel it. But i am just too selfish to understand.