Family Tree is Cut Down

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@Shavkat (66155)
Philippines
October 5, 2012 5:19am CST
An old saying, "Blood is thicker than water." I don't know if sibling rivalry can be seen in every family. It will be great to be competitive, but with family members? Do you think it is healthy? I've seen most cases, some people cut off from being connected along family blood line. If that happens, is there any possibility for reconciliation?
2 people like this
16 responses
@Suzieqmom (2763)
• United States
5 Oct 12
I have seen sibling rivalry in all parts of my family--my own immeidate family, my in-laws, our cousins, aunts and uncles, even my parents and their siblings. I always wanted to believe that families stick together, but I honestly believe that this is the exception rather than the rule. Now that we have two boys of our own, we have been trying very hard to keep their sibling rivalry to a minimum. Of course it is natural for siblings to be competitive, especially if they are the same gender and are close in age. However, we constantly try to stress to our sons that they should look out for one another and protect each other too--that it is ok to get mad at each other, but that they should never speak badly of each other in public to friends and such. I try to explain to them that anger is not the worst emotion, jealousy is, and being too jealous of each other will ruin their friendship in the long run, and may cause them to lose touch with one another, just as various siblings in our families have. I don't know if these lessons will stick, but, as parents, all we can do is try and set a good example. We shall see. . .
1 person likes this
• Kiryat Ata, Israel
5 Oct 12
I hope you will succeed because my parents probably didn't succeed. Me and my brother had jealousy in the past and till today we are not really the best friends...I never call him to ask how is he. He sometimes calls me though. He was not smart and didn't succeed in school and I did. So, our father was angry on him a lot of time and treated me as his favorite. It caused us to have a rivalry and jealousy. He was the popular one and I was the nerd. He used to laugh at me about it.
@Suzieqmom (2763)
• United States
5 Oct 12
Sounds exactly like my brother and me--we don't really speak at all now. He was always more popular, and he was smart but lazy, and did poorly in school. I did well but didn't have a lot of friends until I got to college and met more people with similar interests. My brother always claimed I was my parents' favorite; I thought they favored him. They certainly spent more time with him because he needed more attention, but I guess they were prouder of me. It is exactly because of this reason that I am trying to not make the same mistakes with my own kids, to treat them the same and make sure they both feel valued. But more important, I want them to grow up thinking they can trust and rely on each other, because they will both still be around when my husband and I are gone.
@Shavkat (66155)
• Philippines
7 Oct 12
My siblings and I were closed to each other, there are times we feel hate each other. Nevertheless, we find ways to forget the shallow arguments. That's what it was inculcated in our minds, thanks for our parents who shared the wisdom of valuing our family. Good day!
@jaiho2009 (39001)
• Philippines
5 Oct 12
I always believed that blood is thicker than water. I've disobeyed my parents once and they disowned me. but, after seeing their grandkid- soon as I gave birth to my daughter, there is no word spoken. They took me back without saying a word. Whatever rivalry or disagreement between the family/siblings will be settled if both parties are willing to reconcile. But yes, we all know that there are tragic stories about blood rivalry and I it's hard to express why and how it happened.
1 person likes this
• Kiryat Ata, Israel
5 Oct 12
I know two brothers that each of them has a garage and he can fix cars that get broken. Those two brothers are not friends and I think to myself, if only people could forget the past and delete it totally, they would think with logic, start to cooperate and help each other to make a better future.
@Shavkat (66155)
• Philippines
7 Oct 12
I agree on that, whatever had happened from the past. There will a chance or reconsidering for reconciliation. Thanks.
@Artsy1 (27)
• United States
5 Oct 12
My sibling and I aren't anything alike. That's been our downfall from the get go. I try and humor my sibling and ignore what annoys me/hurts me but there's only so much you can take, family or not. Sometimes, talking is just that, even with the best intentions. I've taken a little hiatus, one that has been healthier for me and I can't say that reconciling is not in the near future but the other person has to realize that their ego should stop getting in the way and stop feeling that they are always right. In short, no, it's not healthy but maybe formulating some kind of peace treaty for the sake of the family is. I just need a little bit more of 'me' time and let my anger cool before saying something I'll regret (or maybe not regret).
1 person likes this
• Kiryat Ata, Israel
5 Oct 12
Sometimes, two people are just too different from each other. They have different point of view about life, one thinks money, the other thinks love, one thinks for himself, the other think about others. I know how hard is to live with family members that are too different then me. I can't just stop living with them, I need them and they need me. Trying not to talk at all is also hard. As my dad comes home, I just go to my room or find a good reason to go away like, taking the dog for a walk, eating lunch at my grandmother's house...
@Shavkat (66155)
• Philippines
7 Oct 12
I guess, personality differences made ourselves pushed away from them. But then, we can not deny we are still in the circle of our family. Thank you for sharing.
• Romania
5 Oct 12
Reconciliation is possible, it just needs both parts that argue to agree at least on this thing. Which would be the best way to reconcile? Maybe talking to one another at another level than usually. Depends on the persons. What may work on some might not work on others.
1 person likes this
@Shavkat (66155)
• Philippines
5 Oct 12
I guess they need do compensate things that will not work out in the family. Thanks for sharing
• Kiryat Ata, Israel
5 Oct 12
Some people in our family we know too well to know they will never change. We know they will keep doing what makes us angry. We think we will never understand them.
@allknowing (70650)
• India
5 Oct 12
It is not the same any more. The gap between family and society is narrowing down. Many are closer to society than to family as the present situation makes it possible to connect more with outsiders than one's own family. The drift becomes wider with passage of time as the need to connect, many a time, does not arise. That is reality!
@Shavkat (66155)
• Philippines
5 Oct 12
That's a sad thing to know, evolution of changes in the blood line. Some people do embrace the society than the their own blood relation. Thanks for sharing! Have a great day!
@allknowing (70650)
• India
5 Oct 12
I find nothing sad about it. Clinging to family and over feeding your only child for example is a crime. A child needs only that much and the rest should be shared among the less fortunate. This access to society I truly feel will soon break barriers. We are so closeted, in a way that everything is kept within the family and we allow no other person to excel than our very own. A thought to ponder surely Shavkat!?
• Kiryat Ata, Israel
5 Oct 12
I like what you have just said. No one needs to save too much money for his family. Many people have less money and are unfortunate. Many people who save for their own families just make the situation worse. They don't share the money with others, a lot of money is just being kept in the bank doing nothing.
@celticeagle (120469)
• Boise, Idaho
5 Oct 12
You have to have siblings in every family for there to be sibling rivalry in every one. Maybe to some degree it is healthy. Making a person more competitive for the big world when they get out into it.
@Shavkat (66155)
• Philippines
7 Oct 12
It is normal to be competitive, but not the personal intentions. I may say, we have rivalries in skills but the relationship as a family is not a part of it. Thanks for sharing.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (120469)
• Boise, Idaho
7 Oct 12
I think having sibling helps us to be conpetitive. Relationship as a family is part of it. That's where rivalry and competition is started.
@amoyube1980 (2233)
• Somalia
6 Oct 12
It's really sad when these things happen, but the hard truth is that they do happen. In a TV crime program I watch sometimes, it usually ends in murder when money is involved. A little healthy competition I guess is okay as it encourages children to be the best that they can be. But it should be a healthy competition, helping each other out when someone gets behind.
@Shavkat (66155)
• Philippines
7 Oct 12
Money is really a source of evil, if it is not valued much over a family. It should be separated in personal life, money can be lost and can be found. Thanks
• Philippines
6 Oct 12
I must say it's not really rivalry, but the envy and jealousy between siblings that usually happen. I guess it's just normal between sisters to have little insecurities from each other esp. when parents give different attention to each of them. Reconciliation is always possible. No matter how much hurt our sisters/brothers had brought us, there is always a chance of forgiveness as long as the other is willing to accept his fault/mistake.
@Shavkat (66155)
• Philippines
7 Oct 12
That's a good sign of being a true blooded to a family. I agree with your statement. Thanks
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
6 Oct 12
Family feuds have dominated my family for so long. The curse continue to wreck even to this present generation. My father was not in talking terms with his younger brother. The bad blood between the brothers saw us sidelined in so many family gatherings. My uncle only made good his relationship with my father during the last few years of of my father's life.
@Shavkat (66155)
• Philippines
7 Oct 12
I admit in my father's side is not that getting along well. But hopefully, they can reconnect to patch up the things had been lost in the family. Thanks for sharing.
@ifa225 (11098)
• Indonesia
6 Oct 12
well the rivalry among family members is common me and my sister have it too but we never think to cut off from family blood line we help each other when other need support
@Shavkat (66155)
• Philippines
7 Oct 12
It is good thing that you still attached to each other. Have a great day!
• United States
5 Oct 12
It's hard. I was written out of my family's will because I sided with the only person who would be honest with me. It's going to take a long time, maybe never for things to be reconciled. It's alright though, I have my family, my wife and kids and they are the ones I focus on now. Blood is thicker than water but when its spilled it looses its power.
@Shavkat (66155)
• Philippines
7 Oct 12
That's a sad thing to hear, I hope you will find ways to connect them again. It will not be today, but in the future. Have a nice day!
@bestboy19 (5482)
• United States
5 Oct 12
There's always a chance of reconciliation. Ask God for guidance and don't give up.
@Shavkat (66155)
• Philippines
7 Oct 12
I always believed that this will happen. Thnaks
@prashu228 (25501)
• India
5 Oct 12
of course possible, as they say blood is thicker that water, no matter how bad the situation may be , but when needed ,the siblings will definitely help and come together, that the greatness of creation, and blood relation.
@Shavkat (66155)
• Philippines
5 Oct 12
In that case, we can't conceal our feelings when in our blood relation needs help. We sometimes forget the short comings, gather together as one family. Have a great day
@suspenseful (40316)
• Canada
21 Oct 12
There is always help for reconciliation but it might take years. One just has to hope and often the breakup is due to a misunderstanding and if both sides admit that they did wrong, So there is always hope.
• India
16 Oct 12
Hello my friend Shavkat Ji, Well, this concept had grown due to selfishness in human-beings. Some particular siblings want to owe everything, so they use mighty unfair means, Cut off elders and rule. It has been seen in our country right after babur came to India. One must have tolerance for others. So it is said that BLOOD HAS BEEN CONERTED TO WATER, IT IS ALSO POLLUTED. May God bless You and have a great time
@clrumfelt (5428)
• United States
8 Oct 12
I believe blood is thicker than water. Families can have rivalry, and can have misunderstandings and hurt each others' feelings, but they always love each other really. If one family member reaches out to make peace with another, reconciliation is highly possible.