My Friend's Black Wedding Motif

Philippines
October 7, 2012 7:20pm CST
This is the first time I have attended a wedding with black as wedding motif. I know that this is quite unique but I know that some has already done this before. I love black color but that was the first time that I haven't appreciated it. I don't know if it's just me maybe I am way too conservative to think that she should have at least wore a white wedding gown instead. I really felt that I attended a funeral as her father isn't around and her mom and 2 sisters are in tears. They left right after the wedding ceremonies. What's your view about it? Thanks.
2 people like this
15 responses
@hereandthere (19475)
• Philippines
8 Oct 12
i'm just curious if it was a catholic wedding held and presided by a priest in a catholic church?
@Angelpink (4023)
• Philippines
8 Oct 12
As far as i know Catholic Church never allows a wedding that is like a fashion show , it strictly observes solemnity and purity. Woman could not just wear the color that they wanted to , but should follow rules , such as if the woman is still pure meaning have no child or not pregnant prior to that wedding therefore she can wear white gown and if the woman have child already or if pregnant , she will not be allowed to wear white gown but Off white gown only. I guess Catholic Church don't tolerate that style of wedding style and ceremony.
• Philippines
9 Oct 12
No, it was a garden wedding and officiated by a judge. They have different religions but the guy is Catholic. This is mainly the reason why the girl's family is not in favor of the wedding. @Angel thanks for the info. My cousin got married last May and her girlfriend was already pregnant that time. I was thinking right now if she's wearing white or off white as they got married in Sto. Domingo Church. I'll check for it to see if they really implement such rules.
• Philippines
9 Oct 12
@hereandthere you really made a good point there as we can't really say if the girl is still pure or not just because she aren't pregnant.
@deazil (3890)
• United States
8 Oct 12
Well, it's modern all right. But in view of what you said about the family being against it, her father not even being there and her mother and sisters in tears and leaving right away I wonder if she had another reason for the black? Sounds kind of like she was trying to make a point to her family or a statement of some kind. Then again she did say it makes her look slimmer. And it was her wedding after all. But I still think white is the best color. You know, years ago you couldn't even buy any black clothes for little girls and now you see them everywhere. Black was the only color you couldn't buy a dress or a shirt in and now it's very popular. That's my view.
• Philippines
9 Oct 12
Hi deazil, thank you for the trivia. I didn't know that you couldn't find and buy black dress before while nowadays, whenever I am attending a party, majority of the girls wear black dresses. You are also right that she maybe want to convey a message to all especially to her family by choosing black as her wedding motif. I don't know if this has something to do with being radical and self driven as this is how she usually describe herself.
@deazil (3890)
• United States
9 Oct 12
Little girl's clothes were either pastel or bright colors mostly. If your friend is radical and self driven that's another reason for all black. Just odd not to have a silver trim or something. Thanks for commenting! I do appreciate it.
• Philippines
9 Oct 12
You're welcome. But why is it that they don't make black dresses for girl's during those years? The only reason I can think of is that only slaves/maids wear black dresses like those I've seen in movies, and of course, witches too LOL There are silvers actually - spoon and fork LOL. Actually there's red roses in there.
@aejey322 (1006)
• Philippines
8 Oct 12
I also have seen one. I do not know them actually. I just happen to visit the church office for my son's baptism. But I can't help but to stop and witness their wedding. It made my hair stand. It's like I was watching a horror film on a live show. Even the flower girls wore black gown with purple belt. The groom wore white polo BUT with ruffles on the chest - like what dracula wore in the movie. I did not appreciate the uniqueness of it. For me personally, black should not be associated in any happy ocassions. But I do not have the right to judge other people neither... So I still put my respect on them because it is their choice.
• Philippines
9 Oct 12
Hi aj, thanks for sharing. I thought that the church don't allow this theme. I can imagine the wedding you've seen and I feel the same. This is more or less how I felt when I attended my friend's wedding. Like I've said in my other reply to this discussion, she actually looks like a vampire with her make up. I am now wondering if that is the theme.
@aejey322 (1006)
• Philippines
9 Oct 12
Maybe the CHurch was not aware of it. The Church usually don't remind couples registering for a wedding or even mention about motiff. Maybe they expect that people know the Church don't allow it. But I haven't got any news if there were any notices issued by the Church after that wedding. but it was really scary...
@pals101 (2018)
• Philippines
8 Oct 12
Black is beautiful, and I like it.. it really depends on the situation and the one who wears it on how they handle it. Although there are some instances where black is the theme for wedding. For me, personally I still think white color is best for a wedding because it symbolizes light and how pure we are about our marriage. Marriage is sacred, so it should be white because you are facing our Lord.
• Philippines
9 Oct 12
Thanks for your response. I agree, I also love black but will never use that for wedding. Yes, marriage is sacred and should be treated that way. I think that she forgot to take that into consideration. She maybe thinking that she looks good in black but forgot to think about bible's view point about this. I have this feeling that she intentionally chose black to rebel against her parents.
@pals101 (2018)
• Philippines
11 Oct 12
You are probably right my friend, hmm..anyway.. its their choice.. All we can do is show our support for them, if they truly love each other then I'm sure its not the color that matters but what's they truly feel at each other hearts.
@laydee (12815)
• Philippines
8 Oct 12
I think couples always want to be unique in their vows and wedding, but I think it's just a futile display because people will forget and are just there for the 'moment' or the food hehehe.. I have a friend who also did a black (and red) motiff but she wore white dress with black lace and he wore a white suit. All-in-all, it was cute but I didn't really appreciate it because it was too stage-like. It didn't really show love but I thought it showed a desperate act to anger conservative relatives instead of a union of love. I think the black color is good (nothing wrong with it) but the wedding supposed to reflect calmness, a slow transition of the man and the woman being bound together as one. The colors may not play a major role, but it has always been white to show purity of heart and intentions. I would love my wedding dress to be white and my partner's to be white as well. I want everything to look neat and happy. Black does give a grim look on situations and all the more because the mother and the two sisters where crying. Why? Why did they leave after the wedding? Was the marriage not a favorable one? I wouldn't want to be involved in that type of a union. Have a great mylot experience ahead!
• Philippines
9 Oct 12
Thanks for your wonderful response laydee. If this is her way to anger her family and relatives, I think she failed. They are actually in pain, seeing those tears I really feel for them. Like you said, wedding should be happy but I really didn't feel that during the wedding especially seeing her mom and sisters crying that way, I really felt like someone is dying. I don't really know what's happening to her but she just met this guy this year. She was actually dating other guy early this year but few months ago, we're told that she's getting married and nobody knows this guy including her family. The family is against it primarily because they don't even know this guy and the other possible reason is that they have different religion.
1 person likes this
@laydee (12815)
• Philippines
9 Oct 12
I guess we can't really say who's right or wrong in that scenario. However, I think she has made a bad choice because she has caused some pain to her family instead of them being happy for them. If only she tried to at least explain. Anyhow, perhaps she did. There are those families who are really tight to the religion. Perhaps she did try her best. But I just don't know bout the black motiff.
@ajlasent (485)
• Philippines
8 Oct 12
Wow. I have heard of similar motifs but I haven't attended one. Maybe your friend wanted to have it because that's how she has envisioned her wedding from the start? However, I agree with you. It would have been nice if she still wore a white gown. I mean, everyone else can wear black if that's the motif, but I prefer white gowns for brides too. Maybe a little black trimming, but majority should be white. :) I wonder what happened to her mom and sisters though. .
• Philippines
8 Oct 12
I was also hoping that it was the case but it is purely black. I actually asked her but she just said that she looks slimmer with black dress. Her family is against the wedding that is why her dad wasn't around. That was also the first time her mom and sisters have seen that guy as she did not introduced him to them prior to the wedding. Kind of complicated.
@ajlasent (485)
• Philippines
8 Oct 12
Whoa. It is indeed complicated. Apart from the unusual wedding dress color, the circumstances as well... Well, if your friend seemed happy on her wedding day, maybe she has reasons why she did things that way. I do hope she has all the best in life though... :) Thanks for sharing this story with us!
@jaiho2009 (38810)
• Philippines
8 Oct 12
I have seen a wedding wherein all the guest wears black and only the bride wears white. So, she stands out from all the rest. I have seen a wedding wherein all the guest wears white and the bride wears black too. Well, it's their choice.
• Philippines
9 Oct 12
Thanks for your response. I could see that the bride use color to stand out from others. I've heard some people say that the wedding day is actually for brides that is why it is the bride who choose what theme and motif to use.
@jopipay (336)
• Philippines
8 Oct 12
One of the daughter of our neighbor got married with black and pink motif, but her wedding gown is white and all the other gowns in the entourage were black with touch of pink.I think it is cool to have black motif but mix with different colors. Why is her father not in the wedding ceremony and her mom and 2 sisters were in tears?Are they mad because of the black motif of the wedding?
• Philippines
9 Oct 12
They are against it as they don't have the least background about the groom and they haven't met it even once. Other reason may have something to do with having different religion. Yes, it would be more lively if she added other colors apart from black. She can apply that to almost everything but at least spare her wedding dress : D
@ellebj (784)
• Philippines
8 Oct 12
It's weird that they have black as motif, it is not good also since black is labeled with negative thoughts.
• Philippines
9 Oct 12
You're right. This is how we usually view it and so that is how exactly I felt during the wedding. I even had this feeling that I find it creepy (seriously).
@Shavkat (42378)
• Philippines
8 Oct 12
I have friend who got married with the same motif. I think it is their preferences to go with this kind of shades. For me, I would still prefer the light color. Good day!
• Philippines
9 Oct 12
Yes, it is true that the bride has the say what the wedding motif and theme would be. My preference would really depend on the occasion as I also love black but definitely will not use that in my wedding. Thank you.
• India
8 Oct 12
There are 2 ways to describe this. As per modern culture it does't matter that what color is chosen for wedding. Changes in color, style pattern can give a different look. But as per conservative culture it is not good to wear black at wedding or any good moment. Now it depends on people in which way they want to see this..
• Philippines
9 Oct 12
Thanks for sharing. This friend of mine is very much into fashion and what is in and latest so I guess apart from having issues with her family, she really want her wedding to be in style and different.
@litvillegas (1275)
• Philippines
8 Oct 12
Hello It's far from traditional white gown. It's little weird. Yes, I heard about this motif many times but I've never attended with black wedding motif. I like black colors on dress because it looks sexy and slim but I guess I don't wanna apply this on my wedding gown..lol.. I'll go with the old traditional white gown..lol.. But anyways, If some of my friends will choose a black wedding motif, it's their choice.
• Philippines
8 Oct 12
That is actually how I felt about it, it's kind of weird. But like you've said, it is her choice. I just can't believe she'll do it. I expect it to be purple as she is very vocal that she loves that color. I don't know if this has something to do with her family being against the wedding or what.
• United States
8 Oct 12
I think that using non-traditional wedding colors are great and very modern. I've seen people use all different colors, wear different color dresses, actually my favorite wedding that I went to was done in black, white and silver. You have to think, a white wedding dress represents purity and let's be honest, most women getting married nowadays are not pure in the least. People don't have those conservative views like they used to. My wedding was done in blue and white, my dress was mostly white with a blue train and blue accents and I loved it. I would have never worn a traditional all white wedding gown. I think they're old school and boring. My dress was short in the front and long in the back, the guys wore sneakers with their tuxes...it was awesome. I loved my wedding and how it turned out. It was ultra-modern but still classy. I love when people don't go the traditional route with their weddings, it changes the ceremonies up and you don't feel like your having deja vu at every wedding you go to.
• Philippines
8 Oct 12
I do understand your point as I also think that black, white and silver motif is awesome. It would have been better if she has chosen those colors instead of black alone. I can imagine your wedding motif and theme and I really love it. My wedding was in aqua blue and gold but my wedding gown is pure white.
• India
2 Apr 13
Thanks for this discussion here during wedding i mean Hindu marriages brides wear red sari, red blouse, red bangles, black is considered non auspiciousness
@kokomo (1868)
• Philippines
16 Mar 13
I guess, the wedding you have attended did not support the other party. I mean, the lady's family did not support her idea to get married with the guy because according to your story, her father isn't around and her mom and two sisters are in tears.I don't like black as a motif in the wedding too, even if it is unique.